10 years of having horses and all of a sudden my confidence has gone

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staceyn

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on a bit of a downer today, i started riding at 9 and had horses , lessons, worked on competition, breeding, livery yards, had 10 of my own youngstock to break and do have a lot of experiece with horses. But recently the past year since having m.e / cfs, i seem to be worried about ever tiny thing with my horses. I was always the one who would get on and work with naughty horses and younstock and would not take any crap from any horse no matter how big"!. But recently im overthinking everything i do and avoiding it. My young fell pony has been great and only around 11-12hh but since having mini shetlands he seems massive and i just cant seem to be as confident with him. He has started to test me and getting a bit spooky and cheeky i dont know what my problem is!, last year if you had said to me sort this horse out a 11-12hh horse i would have laughed and said give it here!...i feel stupid and a bit pathetic to be honest. Im putting it down to my illness because it does make you overthink and worry about everything. i just want to get back to my normal confident self and i feel like everything a do with my yearlings is not working. Bit of a rant sorry i just dont know why i have gone like this. I used to deal with 15-17hh nut case competition horses everyday they would rear up at me spin round and do everything possible to make life hard and i would just laugh it off and deal with it. but now if that happened i would actually be worried. is this just old age ?! ha finally realising the dangers, someone help me get my confident self back!
 
I have found that I am a lot less confident than I was in my teens. I think it's down to being calmer, sensible and more aware of what actually happens in the world so I'm more careful.
It sounds a little bit like you've had too much of a good thing... Can you perhaps take a step back and instead of going to the yard with an objective in mind, just go down for a pat and try not to think about things too much?
Anotherthing that comes to mind is, why don't you invite a friend, maybe non horsey, to visit or go with you? That way, you have moral support but it might be a confidence giver as you'll be supportin them in an unfamiliar environment, teaching them, if you like? I'm not explaining myself well!
We all get times when we think we've lost a bit of jazz but it's just something that happens. If there weren't the times when we felt less confident, we wouldn't know what it was like to feel confident. It's all part of the balance.
Chin up :) you'll get your mojo back soon!
 
haha yeh good idea, i think its because i always had someone to go down with and now all my horsey and non horsey friends have children, pregnant or too busy with thier own lives. So going on my own i seem to be less confident its really bugging me my mister who has never had horses is more confident then me i feel rubbish ! thanks though :)
 
i agree totally i know how you feel, i'm on the same downer at the moment - i have no idea why but just all of a sudden ive become aware of danger everywhere lol - some times i can laugh it off but other days its really getting to me - i think its like what was said above - we all have these moments where you think god why do i do this or why am i doing this but you get there in the end i think age has a lot to do with it as well i'm not old but getting old-er and i've gone from totally fearless and jump on anything crazy type lady to wow this looks like a bit of a challenge lol - i'm coming out the other side now slowly - its annoying but you will get there - what these bloomin horses put us through hey! lol
 
tell me about it i think buying yearlings and youngsters for me needs to stop now think after these two grow up i will not get a young horse again stick to the older ones who i can trust think im getting too old for the challenge now! haha bloody horses! but cant live without them.
 
i think your illness probably has played a part in it, you've suddenly realised you're not invincible;) happens to most of us at some stage, either through age, illness or at worst a life threatening accident!
for me the answer was just to accept that i am not the same person i was 20 years ago, not physically (bigger but less bouncy:rolleyes: ) or mentally:) I've stopped comparing myself to how i was then, and i've stopped questioning why i don't want to ride the lunatic types any more, I've stopped wanting to prove how good i am by haring round the countryside flat out, now i feel good if i've managed an hour or more hack without needing a loo break:o:D lol ok i'm not that old yet but i'm sure the time will come :eek:
give yourself some credit for what you can do and stop worrying over the stuff you no longer want to do or feel comfortable with;)
 
:) thanks i think i just cant seem to stop comparing myself to how i used to be thats my problem. Cheered me up a bit now ! think al stop going to the stables with expectations they are only babies so shouldnt expect anything less they cheeky , playful testing behaviour . ! :)
 
Ah yes, the children/pregnant friend curse. I know it well. Being someone that will never have children, I understand. A lot of my childhood friends have sprogged and/or are married. Don't get me wrong, kids are great if you can give them back but they're not for me.
Try not too worry and just stay happy. :)
 
staceyn said:
:) thanks i think i just cant seem to stop comparing myself to how i used to be thats my problem. Cheered me up a bit now ! think al stop going to the stables with expectations they are only babies so shouldnt expect anything less they cheeky , playful testing behaviour . ! :)
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lol gets easier to stop comparing as you get older, mainly because you can't remember what you did or who you are!!!!!!!!!:eek::D
 
staceyn said:
tell me about it i think buying yearlings and youngsters for me needs to stop now think after these two grow up i will not get a young horse again stick to the older ones who i can trust think im getting too old for the challenge now! haha bloody horses! but cant live without them.
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totally with you on this Staceyn - i think this is where i have lost mine a bit - i've always had young horses and or broken them for other people and ridden them on - i think the constant need to be strong and brave for them so they learn to be bold too and trust you wears you out sometimes - especially wehn you get the odd ones thats a total nut and spooks at everything - i think your confidence goes so much on making sure that they are ok and coaxing them through difficult situations or new situations that by the time your feet hit the ground or you stop for the day your sapped of the energy you need lol think you hit the nail on the head about having a nice older one that at least isn't going to challenge you all the time lol
 
yes stormy gale! i think thats my problem my little 8hh yearling is fine just for the fact hes so small im fine with him . well i dont want to sell them so il just wait until frank the fell is old enough to be ridden i do think he will make a great horse but think al pay someone else to break him this time. In the meantime think al just enjoy grooming and fussing them plus with me been ill its probably good that they have 2 years to chill out and mature and i have 2 years to try get better so i can ride again! :). think i just get down after bad days with them and vet bills ect.. just seems like life is being very harsh atm wondering when it will all end. ps car broke down yday when eddie was booked in to get gelded ! lol thank god for my good old dad!...eeee :o
 
Having any kind of significant health issue makes you feel wobbly and vulnerable. Once you realise your not invinsible things become more dangerous. Age plays it's part for sure, I never imagined I'd see my confident, ride any nutter eldest daughter lose confidence, since she's had children she's totally changed.
 
it uncurable! i tried i got really allergic for 2 years and stopped having horses i lasted 8 months and couldnt cope so had to buy one again haha! no idea were i got the horse bug from my parents and family are not interested in animals what so ever ! lol
 
Good advice to stop comparing yourself and just enjoy what you do.

Also, if there is anyone good and horsey near you, consider some hypnotherepy. If you keep your expectations realistic it really can be a good part of the confidence mix.
 
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