16 years out of the saddle, now back in...

[Icouldntpickausername]

Morning all,

I'm new here but just wondering if anyone has been out of the saddle for a long time?
I rode and had my own horses from very young until I was 18 where I had a huge horse fall and broke a lot of bones. During my recovery, my confidence dropped dramatically to the point where I said I wouldn't ride again.

I'm 34 now, I've had children and just before Christmas my mum passed away unexpectedly and I found myself drawn back to horses. So I've started having lessons again. I'd love to get my own again but I'm being sensible and getting my riding back upto scratch etc first so in a couple of years, I'll reassess and see if it's a good time to get one.

My confidence is building well whilst on top of a horse however, having one lesson a week (there are limited riding schools around here and the ones are very busy), I find I'm losing my confidence again on the few days before my lesson. Once I'm back on, the confidence grows again but I feel like my days without riding are sending me two steps back!

Confidence on the ground is fine, I fell being bronked off but I fell infront of my horse and got a bit trampled which is where the nerves are coming from but again its

 

[Icouldntpickausername]

Sorry very new and I posted before I'd finished and can't find the edit option...

So the nerves seem to be daft things eg. Spooking, slipping, tripping.

I'm back with walk, trot, canter, and popped a few crosspoles with complete success, it's these days inbetween my lessons...

The reason I think I've found myself back wanting to ride and now I'm as obsessed as I used to be, but my mum used to love being around horses and would come with me to ode, xc schooling, hacks so I really want to carry on.

Any suggestions welcome! Thank you and have a happy Monday!

 

[clinkerbuilt]

Sorry very new and I posted before I'd finished and can't find the edit option...

So the nerves seem to be daft things eg. Spooking, slipping, tripping.

I'm back with walk, trot, canter, and popped a few crosspoles with complete success, it's these days inbetween my lessons...

The reason I think I've found myself back wanting to ride and now I'm as obsessed as I used to be, but my mum used to love being around horses and would come with me to ode, xc schooling, hacks so I really want to carry on.

Any suggestions welcome! Thank you and have a happy Monday!

I also resumed after bereavement, and after the same kind of gap, although I didn't have the confidence hit that finished it off in my teens in the first place. I found a slow increase in routine lessons (you have a time when you go, and despite the nerves, you just go) with blasts of intensive riding in various situations (hill hacks, dressage, jumping) helped, and the confidence returned with leg strength and balance. I think with time away, you forget how much muscular strength you were really working with originally, and as that comes back, you consciously realise you've become a bit more capable, I think?

 

[mossycup]

Give yourself time - I returned to riding at 33/35 after a long break, and it's probably only now that I feel happy and confident jumping (4 years on!). I have regular lessons, but it was getting a share horse that made the biggest difference to my riding - you can get a wee bit reliant on having an instructor there all the time when you only ride in a riding school. There are some great free confidence building resources on the likes of Instagram and fb - lots of mindset coaches who run free confidence challenges etc. But really, faking it till you make it is the best way - keep breathing, keep riding and be patient with yourself!

 

[Icouldntpickausername]

I also resumed after bereavement, and after the same kind of gap, although I didn't have the confidence hit that finished it off in my teens in the first place. I found a slow increase in routine lessons (you have a time when you go, and despite the nerves, you just go) with blasts of intensive riding in various situations (hill hacks, dressage, jumping) helped, and the confidence returned with leg strength and balance. I think with time away, you forget how much muscular strength you were really working with originally, and as that comes back, you consciously realise you've become a bit more capable, I think?

Thank you so much for your reply, it's so helpful to hear that in time the confidence will come back! I'm still a bit wobbly with grieving at times and when I have that time and I'm inbetween lessons, I feel that I won't accomplish anything!
Thank you so much, have a lovely day xx

 

[Icouldntpickausername]

Give yourself time - I returned to riding at 33/35 after a long break, and it's probably only now that I feel happy and confident jumping (4 years on!). I have regular lessons, but it was getting a share horse that made the biggest difference to my riding - you can get a wee bit reliant on having an instructor there all the time when you only ride in a riding school. There are some great free confidence building resources on the likes of Instagram and fb - lots of mindset coaches who run free confidence challenges etc. But really, faking it till you make it is the best way - keep breathing, keep riding and be patient with yourself!

Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to reply!
I have got a few things to work on, confidence wise but I will try and find some online courses etc, thank you for the tip!
I have wondered whether a horse share/loan pony will be beneficial as I could ride when I feel like I need to ride (if that makes sense) rather than having these few days with zero confidence in my ability and having to wait until my next lesson! It was so bad the other day, I questioned whether I used to be able to ride when I was younger (I do know I used to be able to but this is how bad the confidence goes when I'm not on/around a horse).
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, it's been so helpful. Have a lovely Monday xx

 

[Trouper]

Well my "career gap" was 30+ years but, fortunately, I did not have a confidence issue to deal with. The desire to have my own again kicked in pretty quickly as RS horses are just not the same so horse No 1 came along very soon after. Even so, I found it took quite a time to find my feet being an owner again (and catching up on developments such as feed etc!) . If I had had a confidence issue with my riding I think I would have found it quite a struggle to cope with both issues simultaneously so I think I would concentrate on the riding side for now. Others have made some good suggestions about online help but finding yourself a good instructor also works wonders. If you think a share might help to increase the regularity of your riding, then do engage your instructor to help you find the right horse (and owner!) for where you are now. You don't want another setback.

Also, don't underestimate the vulnerability you feel when you lose a parent - at whatever age you are when it happens. I'm sure your Mum is looking down just willing you on to enjoy again something which gave you both so much pleasure.

 

[Icouldntpickausername]

Well my "career gap" was 30+ years but, fortunately, I did not have a confidence issue to deal with. The desire to have my own again kicked in pretty quickly as RS horses are just not the same so horse No 1 came along very soon after. Even so, I found it took quite a time to find my feet being an owner again (and catching up on developments such as feed etc!) . If I had had a confidence issue with my riding I think I would have found it quite a struggle to cope with both issues simultaneously so I think I would concentrate on the riding side for now. Others have made some good suggestions about online help but finding yourself a good instructor also works wonders. If you think a share might help to increase the regularity of your riding, then do engage your instructor to help you find the right horse (and owner!) for where you are now. You don't want another setback.

Also, don't underestimate the vulnerability you feel when you lose a parent - at whatever age you are when it happens. I'm sure your Mum is looking down just willing you on to enjoy again something which gave you both so much pleasure.

Hi, thank you so much for your lovely reply!
I do feel that I could be overwhelmed, there's so many different new things out and about now from when I owned a horse! I do have an amazing instructor, sometimes it's difficult getting a lesson though, then my confidence drops again if I can't have one for 2 weeks. I think I just want to be out and about, taking things at my own pace but I'm trying to be sensible (whilst sending OH 38,000 horse ads a day, haha). I'm so glad you have jumped back into riding, and I completely agree that RS horses aren't quite the same as your own! I'm struggling to trust them with changing each week!

Thank you so much for your kindness about my mum. I've had lots of problems coming to terms with my thoughts of 'I'm not old enough to not have my mum yet'... I still feel that I have lots to learn from her, but yes she will be looking down telling me to stop being silly. At least I have my memories and I'm so incredibly grateful for those.
Have a lovely afternoon/evening and again, thank you for your lovely reply xx