1st riding lesson, wish me luck...

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Puzzley

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So this afternoon I'm having my first riding lesson with a new instructor, at a new yard (well, we've been there a month now). I'm extremely nervous and I hate having people judge my riding. I feel I'm useless as my rather willful mare does what she wants and I have neither the confidence or know how to correct her.

My previous instructor's (and YO) comment for everything was "just deal with it" which was very unhelpful and so we only had one lesson with her.

How long have you stuck with an instructor before admitting they are not helping? Or how long did it take before you noticed a positive difference in your riding? I guess I'm looking for some words of encouragement, for someone to tell me it will go alright and I will survive!
 
It will go alright and you will survive!

I will in no way try to pass myself off as a particularly good rider even now, but when I moved from my instructor of around 10 years (whom I found ok but not spectacular) to a new instructor - it was a matter of 3 or 4 weeks before I started seeing changes for the better. Only tiny, to start with, but there. Give yourself a little while to get used to your new instructor - and him/her to you - and see how it goes.

And try not to judge yourself - although I know how hard that is!

Best of luck!
 
Have fun! Your instructor won't be judging you but making suggestions to help you and your mare have a better partnership. Let him/her know what you are finding difficult before you start i.e. nervousness, feeling useless and not knowing how to correct things.A good instructor will make sure the lesson is geared to getting the results you want and will want you to be confident and upbeat by the end of your session.

Look at it as a constructive way to move forward - and enjoy it! :)
 
Good luck for your lesson. I'm sure you will be fine. Your instructor is there to help you not judge you - although she will have to assess you, of course, to be able to help you. Don't forget you're the one employing her! You may find you click with this new instructor straight away, it may take a bit longer or you may hate her straight away. All you can do is go in with an open mind and be prepared to listen.

I'm a Welsh speaker and we have saying which translates as "don't go ahead of worry" - a bit garbled in English - but basically it means there's no point worrying about what might go wrong. Maybe that's what your old instructor was trying (badly!) to tell you, rather than thinking your mare is just going to do what she wants anyway, maybe you need to be a bit more positive about insisting on what you want her to do?

I know it's hard, I can be a bit wishy washy with my share horse as he's generally very obliging, so when he doesn't listen I think "aww bless him he doesn't want to do it today" and let him get away with it, but my old git gets made to do what I tell him as he's a stubborn old goat and if I give him an inch he'll take several miles! If I rode M like I ride A, he'd go 10 times better, but I just can't bring myself to boss him about!
 
Update!
Thank you for your kind comments, it made me go out with a more positive mind. I can't say it started well as she got a little excited when her friend came in the barn and squashed me in the stable :(

In the school she was her normal badly behaved stubborn self but the instructor showed me how to keep her paying attention to me and going in the direction I ask. She also showed me how to stop her when she runs through the bridle and I feel I have no control. She even got on and rode for 10 mins and is of the opinion my mare is a bit green.

So by the end we were going around nice and calm and stopping when asked. I came out smiling and booked another lesson for next week. I'm very happy that we achieved so much in just an hour but feel a bit silly for all the worrying beforehand!
 
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