1st time owner - pony not as advertised

[Widgeon]

You did get support, you just need to ignore what isn't helpful.

Yes this. Ignore the overly harsh posts OP. I do think some of the responses, one poster in particular, are excessively hard on you - just ignore it. The majority of people replying appreciate the difficult position that you've ended up in. I know it's hard to forget ungenerous comments though, I always struggle with that.

 

[Clodagh]

LouWood. You are doing your best. You made a mistake. I’ve done it before, obviously sone people in here never have. .
Those if you being a bit harsh, please note this is the section of the forum where people are meant to be able to ask questions without getting shouted down.
I suspect the pony will be fine with no mares around. If he’s only recently been gelded he’ll still be all up in the air, hormonally.

 

[Orangehorse]

Buying a child's pony is the worst, as you are protecting your child too. Ponies are not always as advertised. I had a pony with bad feet, he was quiet. When I sorted his feet out he became a naughty pony that was very happy to buck off his rider.

I also had a non-ridden companion pony that had been a breeding stallion. He was lovely with my gelding, they were very good friends. When a mare was introduced he spent all his time flirting with her and they had to be kept separate.I'm not sure that they would ever be OK to be turned out with a mare.

 

[irishdraft]

OP it sounds like an unfortunate set of circumstances have occurred and you are where you are. It can take a long time for a new horse/ pony to settle and as your Shetland has had several homes in succession I'm sure this is part of the problem. It also sounds like the people you purchased from were possibly economical with the truth plus the fact you happened to aquire a mare. If you like the pony & think he is worth time being spent then he will probably settle down in time & in 6 months you could be in a different position. If your gut feeling is he isn't going to work for you then take the offer and forget about the money but then your mare will be on her own, if it were me I would persevere and give him a chance to settle but you may have to accept your 3 yo will have to wait for a few months.

 

[Upthecreek]

OP the very best thing to do when buying ponies is to buy ones that are already living in a very similar home to the home you can offer as that does increase the chances of them settling quickly. Never buy one and just expect it to accept and adapt to the home you can offer. That said, horses and ponies can be fickle and don’t always get along with who we choose to put them in a field with. Is there a reason you can’t keep the paddock separated with electric?

If the pony is 16 I expect he’s had quite a few homes and is testing his boundaries with you at the moment with regard to being caught, not picking up his feet etc. He needs firm but kind handling. Catch him and give him a treat and then let him go. It’s important that he doesn’t associate being caught with something negative happening. A couple of weeks is no time at all. I know you are comparing him to the mare, who has settled quickly, but they are all different.

 

[ester]

He was very late cut, not just late cut, and sounds like he may have been used a fair bit if stud based. I think the chances of him not trying it on with a mare are slim to nil (and quite probably unfair to expect him not to)

 

[LouWood23]

OP it sounds like an unfortunate set of circumstances have occurred and you are where you are. It can take a long time for a new horse/ pony to settle and as your Shetland has had several homes in succession I'm sure this is part of the problem. It also sounds like the people you purchased from were possibly economical with the truth plus the fact you happened to aquire a mare. If you like the pony & think he is worth time being spent then he will probably settle down in time & in 6 months you could be in a different position. If your gut feeling is he isn't going to work for you then take the offer and forget about the money but then your mare will be on her own, if it were me I would persevere and give him a chance to settle but you may have to accept your 3 yo will have to wait for a few months.

We would like to keep him if it all settled down. I know I won't get all my money back and my gut is telling me to give him a chance. The thing that gives me anxiety is when ppl say he will never be okay to turn out with a mare - then in 6 months time we have all grown really attached to him and our Mare.

I would find another mare if we did have to sell Bryn but really hope that doesn't happen

 

[LouWood23]

OP the very best thing to do when buying ponies is to buy ones that are already living in a very similar home to the home you can offer as that does increase the chances of them settling quickly. Never buy one and just expect it to accept and adapt to the home you can offer. That said, horses and ponies can be fickle and don’t always get along with who we choose to put them in a field with. Is there a reason you can’t keep the paddock separated with electric?

If the pony is 16 I expect he’s had quite a few homes and is testing his boundaries with you at the moment with regard to being caught, not picking up his feet etc. He needs firm but kind handling. Catch him and give him a treat and then let him go. It’s important that he doesn’t associate being caught with something negative happening. A couple of weeks is no time at all. I know you are comparing him to the mare, who has settled quickly, but they are all different.

It is seperated with electric fencing at the moment but not an ideal set up for long term. The fencing isn't even turned on and they both respect it.

I've currently got Bryn( gelding) on a hard standing area with open stable for shelter past 24hours to try and do some more handling/bonding- plan to do that for another few days before putting him back to the paddock in the hope it helps.

He isn't food oriented and you can't catch him even with a job lot of carrots. The only way we can catch him is herd him to the hard standing area and then close the gate then catch him in there but it takes a few people and time.

 

[LouWood23]

He was very late cut, not just late cut, and sounds like he may have been used a fair bit if stud based. I think the chances of him not trying it on with a mare are slim to nil (and quite probably unfair to expect him not to)

Do you think over time he'd still try ?

He sired two foals 12 years ago but that's all that was ever registered

 

[LouWood23]

I will add he doesn't seem interested in Pixie (mare) in slightest when seperated by electic fencing- he will get upset if he can't see her but other than that he just grazes and doesn't attempt to get to her.

 

[SilverLinings]

It is seperated with electric fencing at the moment but not an ideal set up for long term. The fencing isn't even turned on and they both respect it.

I've currently got Bryn( gelding) on a hard standing area with open stable for shelter past 24hours to try and do some more handling/bonding- plan to do that for another few days before putting him back to the paddock in the hope it helps.

He isn't food oriented and you can't catch him even with a job lot of carrots. The only way we can catch him is herd him to the hard standing area and then close the gate then catch him in there but it takes a few people and time.

It sounds like you have a good plan in place for the handling, and it is very helpful that Bryn respects the electric fencing.

The horse I posted about before was the same to catch, he had to be herded like yours into an enclosed area. With him, I think the behaviour stopped because he eventually worked out that I just wasn't going to give up, and that nothing bad would happen when I caught him. Every time I 'caught' him (and I would do it pretty much daily until the problem was fixed) I would make sure he didn't win, despite the fact that on many occasions it took me well over an hour (nearly three hours on one memorable occasion when he decided to jump fences rather than be corralled). Even if he wasn't going where I wanted him to I kept calmly walking up to him, so he only had the choice to be caught or keep moving- he wasn't allowed to stop and graze. Eventually he would end up penned in and I could catch him. About half the times I would give him a scratch and an apple and turn him back out, and the other half I would ride or do something else with him, so he learnt being caught didn't always mean work.

I realise that you may feel that having the ponies separated by fencing isn't ideal, but if they are both happy (not stressed by being fenced apart) and they continue to respect the fencing then this could be your solution to the mounting behaviour. Many ponies (in particular) have to be kept fenced separately due to different dietary needs and as long as they are happy it can work well. Horses don't always get on so it is also not uncommon for owners to have to keep them separately after finding a new one doesn't get on with the old one/established herd. One of mine can't be turned out with the others and has always seemed perfectly happy with this set-up, he can see the others and groom over the fence and none of them seem bothered with this arrangement in the slightest.

I hope that you start to see some improvements soon.

 

[LouWood23]

It sounds like you have a good plan in place for the handling, and it is very helpful that Bryn respects the electric fencing.

The horse I posted about before was the same to catch, he had to be herded like yours into an enclosed area. With him, I think the behaviour stopped because he eventually worked out that I just wasn't going to give up, and that nothing bad would happen when I caught him. Every time I 'caught' him (and I would do it pretty much daily until the problem was fixed) I would make sure he didn't win, despite the fact that on many occasions it took me well over an hour (nearly three hours on one memorable occasion when he decided to jump fences rather than be corralled). Even if he wasn't going where I wanted him to I kept calmly walking up to him, so he only had the choice to be caught or keep moving- he wasn't allowed to stop and graze. Eventually he would end up penned in and I could catch him. About half the times I would give him a scratch and an apple and turn him back out, and the other half I would ride or do something else with him, so he learnt being caught didn't always mean work.

I realise that you may feel that having the ponies separated by fencing isn't ideal, but if they are both happy (not stressed by being fenced apart) and they continue to respect the fencing then this could be your solution to the mounting behaviour. Many ponies (in particular) have to be kept fenced separately due to different dietary needs and as long as they are happy it can work well. Horses don't always get on so it is also not uncommon for owners to have to keep them separately after finding a new one doesn't get on with the old one/established herd. One of mine can't be turned out with the others and has always seemed perfectly happy with this set-up, he can see the others and groom over the fence and none of them seem bothered with this arrangement in the slightest.

I hope that you start to see some improvements soon.

He seems very sensitive to the lead rope, when he sees it he freaks out and when I eventually get it on his neck he is even worse. I have spent 1.5 hours on my own trying to catch him, did what you described but he was determined and I ran out of time.

For now while he is onnthe hard standing area withna field safe collar, I cam catch him but if he didnt have the head collar on id be struggling! I am mostly just catching him and giving him a treat and letting him go or a scratch - have taken him out a walk twice but that's it.

How long did it take for him to be caught without the chase ?

I will continue on with them seperated paddock and I do try to give them a short time together on the hard standing 15 minutes a day when I can- they are turned out 24/7 apart from periods on hard standing/stable area. My isse is it's really not set up for it to be separated- only got 1 field shelter etc !

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I have told them I am giving it another few weeks and they aren't in any rush so it may be he goes to this new home as a gelding companion. My friend breeds minis amd does have a 34in mare we can have for free (but unbacked) to take his place but leaves us with no ridden ponies. I feel to nervous to buy another pony from anyone after what is happend. I feel I asked lots of questions and when viewed the pony appeared very quiet but was kept on his own at the previous home.

I don't know what else I could have asked ? Is he safe in traffic - yes , Is he easy to catch, yes, good with kids - yes with all 3 of my kids. Etc etc etc

You have just explained the problem! Equines, of any size, kept on their own, often have a change of personality when moved to home with others. They can develop symptoms of separation anxiety and all kinds of other problems.
I support a RDA group, this summer, we were offered a pony that we knew well on loan. When she arrived at the farm, we found that she was so unsettled that we couldn't trust her for RDA work. We gave her a month to settle but, if anything she got worse. We regretfully had to send her back to the home where she lived on her own.

 

[Goldie's mum]

I have told them I am giving it another few weeks and they aren't in any rush so it may be he goes to this new home as a gelding companion. My friend breeds minis amd does have a 34in mare we can have for free (but unbacked) to take his place but leaves us with no ridden ponies. I feel to nervous to buy another pony from anyone after what is happend. I feel I asked lots of questions and when viewed the pony appeared very quiet but was kept on his own at the previous home.

I don't know what else I could have asked ? Is he safe in traffic - yes , Is he easy to catch, yes, good with kids - yes with all 3 of my kids. Etc etc etc

I don't mean this as a criticism but you seem to think you'll never dare buy again because everything was done that could have been.

The usual advice for buying is as follows.
Look for something already living a very similar life to the one you are offering.
Make all the phone calls and Google everything first before viewing [would have flagged up that he was castrated at 15 years old]
Ask if it is open to vetting.
Take someone with you who has experience [they would have noticed he lived alone, which is unusual. Further questions would have followed]
If he is 'good to catch', 'good in traffic' will pick up his feet' etc ask to see those things at the viewing.[your experienced friend would have known that]
Get the pony vetted. [the vet doesn't just check if it's healthy but also if it is suitable for your intended use]

I'm sure I've missed something out but my point is that without beating yourself up you can learn from this & look for another ridden mare -by asking for experienced help, if that's what you decide you want.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

If you need a headcollar to catch him then keep one on him. I used to have a mare who was a nightmare to catch if you took her headcollar off, no problem with it on. My sister's mare used to have a phobia about ropes and to catch her you just had to put the headcollar on over her nose, no rope, and she would accept it. No point in making an issue of it if there is a way round. My mare also had a daughter who was the same as her mum only worse as you needed a bit of rope dangling to take hold of, she would jerk away as soon as you took hold of her. Weird as her full sister and brother were totally fine about being caught. For a while I had to turn her out with a trailing rope, thankfully she did improve but always needed the headcollar.
My friend bought a lovely Shetland mare for her daughter, perfect child's pony but very hard to catch. She also had to have a headcollar and a trailing rope although eventually her little daughter could catch her.
It sounds as though given time and sensible handling he may well be fine and worth working with. Don't despair.

 

[Goldie's mum]

If the pony is stressed I have treated him no differently than my Mare who arrived the same week and my mare is very settled, coming to the gate for me and following me around.

I have not mis treated them to cause the stress.

For all his adult life (12 years maybe) Bryn had a job. Someone put him in a paddock with a mare & he served her.
For 6 month he's been learning a new job where he lives on his own & walks about with a small person on his back.
When he arrived with you the rules were simple- 2nd kind of home, yep I can do that. Sounds like he was amenable and behaving as you expected for 2 or 3 days.
Then you put him in a paddock with a mare - - but you got excited and didn't want him to serve her.
He will be very confused.

 

[Caol Ila]

Some of you are being very harsh on the OP. She did as much due diligence as most of us, more than many people. She went to the farm, tried out the pony, pony seemed to tick all boxes. How many of you, when viewing a gelding, have asked the seller, "By the way, was this ever a breeding stallion?" I bet the answer is very few. It's not a standard question people ask. It's kind of assumed that most male horses in the UK will have been gelded as babies. In my view, it was a bit off for the seller to not mention that the pony had only been gelded in March. I would think that would be fairly important information to communicate to any buyer, especially if selling as a kids' pony. If you're being totally forthright, that is. I've seen honest adverts, like "Gelded late so can't be kept with mares." People are capable of being straight, sometimes.

OP, your horse was a stallion for a long time. He may not ever be able to share a field with mares, even if he settles and becomes the pony you wanted. I guess it's worth having a think about whether you want to keep your field divided for the foreseeable future.

Definitely hang in there until the behaviourist comes out. Boots on the ground, working with the pony, will give you a clearer idea of what you ought to do going forward.

 

[Goldie's mum]

In my view, it was a bit off for the seller to not mention that the pony had only been gelded in March. I would think that would be fairly important information to communicate to any buyer, especially if selling as a kids' pony. If you're being totally forthright, that is. I've seen honest adverts, like "Gelded late so can't be kept with mares." People are capable of being straight, sometimes.

There's a registered highland gelding for sale atm as a "family pony". Google reveals progeny born when he was 9/10. No mention in the advert!

(Sorry -digression!)

 

[Caol Ila]

There's a registered highland gelding for sale atm as a "family pony". Google reveals progeny born when he was 9/10. No mention in the advert!

(Sorry -digression!)

Out of curiosity, where is the ad?

One would hope an honest seller would tell potential buyers that when they viewed the pony, but who knows.

Google doesn't tell all, either. I'd Googled the stud where I bought my mare and asked on here, and all was copacetic. People on the forum knew them, and said they had a good reputation. So I was very surprised when I discovered that they'd let my filly get knocked up by her half-brother because they weren't gelding colts or separating them from the fillies.

In hindsight, of course, it should have been obvious because my horse was in a field with younger colts (weanling, yearling age), but the 2yo wasn't with them when I viewed. However, if one did a deep dive on Facebook, one could find incriminating pictures of my filly and the 2yo canoodling the summer before. We can all make the mistake of not doing quite enough investigative work when buying a new horse.

 

[Goldie's mum]

Pmed you.

 

[Squeak]

Some of you are being very harsh on the OP. She did as much due diligence as most of us, more than many people. She went to the farm, tried out the pony, pony seemed to tick all boxes. How many of you, when viewing a gelding, have asked the seller, "By the way, was this ever a breeding stallion?" I bet the answer is very few. It's not a standard question people ask. It's kind of assumed that most male horses in the UK will have been gelded as babies. In my view, it was a bit off for the seller to not mention that the pony had only been gelded in March. I would think that would be fairly important information to communicate to any buyer, especially if selling as a kids' pony. If you're being totally forthright, that is. I've seen honest adverts, like "Gelded late so can't be kept with mares." People are capable of being straight, sometimes.

OP, your horse was a stallion for a long time. He may not ever be able to share a field with mares, even if he settles and becomes the pony you wanted. I guess it's worth having a think about whether you want to keep your field divided for the foreseeable future.

Definitely hang in there until the behaviourist comes out. Boots on the ground, working with the pony, will give you a clearer idea of what you ought to do going forward.

Completely agree with this OP and please don't be put off asking for help because of the harsh comments.

 

[little_critter]

Some of you are being very harsh on the OP. She did as much due diligence as most of us, more than many people. She went to the farm, tried out the pony, pony seemed to tick all boxes. How many of you, when viewing a gelding, have asked the seller, "By the way, was this ever a breeding stallion?" I bet the answer is very few. It's not a standard question people ask. It's kind of assumed that most male horses in the UK will have been gelded as babies. In my view, it was a bit off for the seller to not mention that the pony had only been gelded in March. I would think that would be fairly important information to communicate to any buyer, especially if selling as a kids' pony. If you're being totally forthright, that is. I've seen honest adverts, like "Gelded late so can't be kept with mares." People are capable of being straight, sometimes.

OP, your horse was a stallion for a long time. He may not ever be able to share a field with mares, even if he settles and becomes the pony you wanted. I guess it's worth having a think about whether you want to keep your field divided for the foreseeable future.

Definitely hang in there until the behaviourist comes out. Boots on the ground, working with the pony, will give you a clearer idea of what you ought to do going forward.

Just what I was thinking, how may people here, when buying a gelding, ask for the date he was gelded?
I think it was poor of the sellers not to mention he was gelded very late and had been used as a breeding stallion.

 

[I'm Dun]

Mine was a covering stallion and late cut at 10/11. Hes fine now, no stallion tendencies at all, but if you turn him out with a mare in season he will cover her. You cant blame him, mares can be little trollops and how is he to know that its not what he should be doing? Hes also fine over the fence. He is on a mixed livery yard, but just doesnt go in the field with mares.

 

[Goldie's mum]

Just what I was thinking, how may people here, when buying a gelding, ask for the date he was gelded?
I think it was poor of the sellers not to mention he was gelded very late and had been used as a breeding stallion.

Maybe they are crooks? Maybe they didn't know? Maybe they thought it wasn't relevant? At the time op was looking for a companion for a gelding.
Through no fault of op's, the goalposts moved after the sale was agreed.

 

[Bellaboo18]

So are you saying I am incompetent at looking after the ponies now? I didn't know I was now being questioned about my ability to care for them.

If the pony is stressed I have treated him no differently than my Mare who arrived the same week and my mare is very settled, coming to the gate for me and following me around.

I have not mis treated them to cause the stress.

I do think your lack of experience shines through in your posts.
Just because you haven't mistreated him, doesn't mean he can't be stressed by a new environment.
Maybe you've made a mistake but 2 weeks is no time for any pony to settle. 'Your mare' may appear settled now but may actually be coping differently. You may have issues with her later on. If you're expecting it to all be plain sailing it won't be.
I think you're right to give it more time.

 

[AmyMay]

I do think your lack of experience shines through in your posts.
Just because you haven't mistreated him, doesn't mean he can't be stressed by a new environment.
Maybe you've made a mistake but 2 weeks is no time for any pony to settle. 'Your mare' may appear settled now but may actually be coping differently. You may have issues with her later on. If you're expecting it to all be plain sailing it won't be.
I think you're right to give it more time.

I think some of you need to wind your necks in a bit. Some responses on here are really quite shocking!

 

[Bellaboo18]

I think some of you need to wind your necks in a bit. Some responses on here are really quite shocking!

I don't see whats shocking about my post.

 

[AmyMay]

I don't see whats shocking about my post.

No, I guess you wouldn’t.

 

[irishdraft]

We would like to keep him if it all settled down. I know I won't get all my money back and my gut is telling me to give him a chance. The thing that gives me anxiety is when ppl say he will never be okay to turn out with a mare - then in 6 months time we have all grown really attached to him and our Mare.

I would find another mare if we did have to sell Bryn but really hope that doesn't happen

It's a difficult one for you but do the ppl your listening to & giving you anxiety actually know what they are talking about. I haven't had a late cut gelding so I can't give you an educated answer as to whether he will settle with a mare, I have heard it takes 6 months for the testerone to settle but I guess each individual is different. I think all you can do is either persevere best you can or let him go before you become attached and try to move on.

 

[ycbm]

This pony has already had plenty of time for the castration to have reduced his hormones.

The stallion behaviour that's left is not unlikely, given his history, to be permanent.
.