2.5 year old toddler and green horse.... help!

[mrsarmstrong1618]

Hi everyone! I need some ideas!
long story short, I rescued my mare as a foal from a very bad situation. It took years of blood, sweat, tears, rehab and therapy to get her both mentally and physically stable/secure. She’s going to be 7 years old in May, and she’s been a joy for about two years- very calm and settled finally. She was PSYCHO for quite some time, poor thing. Everyone told me to give up on her, but I didn’t and she’s wonderful now.
The issue I’m having is that I have a 2.5 year old and when he was littler I could just put him in one of those backpack carriers and lunge her and etc, and it was fine. However, due to the length of time it took to rehab her and then getting pregnant and having a baby, my ability to start RIDING her and working on that area of training has been utterly shot. My husband is working on fixing our house up so we can sell it, and get property where we can keep her and all our other livestock more easily in one place- so in a few months she will be on my own property and I’m sure that will be worlds easier.
Hubby works loooong hours so him babysitting isn’t an option, I’m a stay at home wife/mom and we can’t afford to pay for training or babysitting, and we don’t live near family.
Should I just give up on trying to ride her until she’s on my own property and then I can ride when he naps/goes to bed? It’s been a frustrating couple years trying to figure this out lol. We briefly had some extra money so my husband hired a trainer for me and she’s had a good 60 days under saddle and did wonderfully but that was awhile ago and I hopped on her bareback and under saddle periodically when I had a chance and she definitely has “forgotten” her training and wants to be naughty about it.
ideas are welcome! Thank you!!!

 

[mrsarmstrong1618]

Feeling the need to add that she has had all the ground work done- heck because I can’t figure out how to safely ride a green horse with a toddler present, I’ve done probably 50 different ground work programs with her over the years. Her groundwork and ground manners are PERFECT because of how much I keep up on that.
Under saddle, she’s green and rusty from the training she has had, and likes to test you big time.

 

[mariew]

Could you take advantage of free childcare? I think it's either 15 or 30 hours per week depending. You should be able to do this from 3 years old at least. If you can't find anyone to look after your toddler on a regular basis, I don't know if you have any other options than to wait, it's better than getting worked up and stressing about not being able to ride, or giving the horse sporadic riding, especially if she is likely to put you at risk of coming off or injuring you. It's only a few months, either until you can get some childcare or have your horse at home. Of course if at home you will still need someone to look after the little one when you ride . It gets much easier when they go to school.

 

[windand rain]

Are you in the uk because childcare isnt freely available world wide. You could see if you could find a sane and reliable surrogate grandma some one who you trust to play with the toddler while you ride. You might even be lucky enough to find an animal lover one who will help with the horse too

 

[AmyMay]

Sometimes you just can’t do it all.

 

[Flicker]

Worse things in the world than having to restart ridden training, if it is done properly. You will probably find she has retained more than you think. If it was me, I would continue with the ground work until you have your own place. Then when you’re settled, engage the same trainer to do refresher work with her and give you some pointers on how to continue her schooling to best effect.

 

[tallyho!]

Mrs. Armstrong, don't panic. You're moving to your new property in a few months time and the horse will not get any greener. Sometimes it can do a horse good to have a break. She's only 7. So I think to answer your question, yes just wait a bit. Keep up with the ground work. Have you tried in-hand work under saddle? Not ridden, but you do everything from the ground a bit like the Spanish riding school. Not the same as groundwork.

 

[Nudibranch]

I'd just give her a break until you can sort childcare. Usually does no harm and often is good for them to have mental and physical time off. My just-backed 4yo had almost a year off when I was pregnant/had a new baby. The 5yo I have now has had a stop start education as my little boy is now 4, and children and horses don't mix easily. I have mine at home but I've just had to accept that's how it is. Children should always come first. Be aware that husbands/OHs don't always relish the idea of us disappearing up the field as soon as little one is asleep, either!

 

[mrsarmstrong1618]

Could you take advantage of free childcare? I think it's either 15 or 30 hours per week depending. You should be able to do this from 3 years old at least. If you can't find anyone to look after your toddler on a regular basis, I don't know if you have any other options than to wait, it's better than getting worked up and stressing about not being able to ride, or giving the horse sporadic riding, especially if she is likely to put you at risk of coming off or injuring you. It's only a few months, either until you can get some childcare or have your horse at home. Of course if at home you will still need someone to look after the little one when you ride . It gets much easier when they go to school.

what is the free childcare? Outside asking someone I know to babysit of course, which is hard because we live way out in the middle of nowheresville and the barn I board her at is about ten minutes up the road versus taking him to be babysat by someone would be minimum an hour drive in the wrong direction which I just don’t have time for lol.
This makes me feel much better though, thank you!!!! I’ve been feeling stressed and guilty over the fact that she’s been basically sitting. I’m extremely careful with her and my son, but she is very gentle around him and I have noticed her making effort to be aware of him and careful around him, so under strict supervision he can brush her with me and etc. I’ve been able to have him play in the arena sand with toys in one corner while I did some ground work in the opposite corner but i was only able to get about ten minutes before he didn’t want to do that anymore lol. And he’s a lean kid, but he’s shaping up to be TALL and he weighs a lot. I’m petite and struggle to carry him for longer than 5 minutes at this point. So outside just walking her around, ground work, ground work games, letting her graze, and grooming, there isn’t much ive been able to do for quite some time.
the fact that she’s basically sitting has had me so stressed, but y’all are making me feel a lot better! Thank you!

 

[mrsarmstrong1618]

Th

Are you in the uk because childcare isnt freely available world wide. You could see if you could find a sane and reliable surrogate grandma some one who you trust to play with the toddler while you ride. You might even be lucky enough to find an animal lover one who will help with the horse too

thank you for the idea! I wish either of his grandmas were closer cause I’d definitely drop him off. But one is 1.5 hours in the wrong direction and the other is 2.5 hours in the wrong direction ? maybe I’ll see if the barn owner has some ideas on another boarder (most of them are elderly) and if she would be comfortable watching him a bit. It’s hard cause the barn is kinda a wilderness barn for lack of a better description. It’s mostly pastures that are miles apart from one another and also a very long distance from the one barn and covered arena where we can groom and tack up and etc. I half contemplated teaching my mare to walk alongside my vehicle and driving out and driving back with her, so I wouldn’t have to try and lug the kid across rough terrain and etc. the barn owner is really nice though and she has been bringing her up and putting her in the barn or arena for me on a day I’m coming out there. Idk, it’s been interesting and hard to try and juggle a kiddo with a horse lol. If she wasn’t a green horse, I wouldn’t care as much. But she’s very green and has had a traumatized past that took years to rehab her from, so i feel like I have to be very careful with her. ??‍

 

[mrsarmstrong1618]

Sometimes you just can’t do it all.

Honestly, sadly true!
Especially once you have kids!
I love my son of course, and he will always take priority over my horse, but I have been stressing over the fact that she’s just sitting around all the time lol

 

[mrsarmstrong1618]

Th

Worse things in the world than having to restart ridden training, if it is done properly. You will probably find she has retained more than you think. If it was me, I would continue with the ground work until you have your own place. Then when you’re settled, engage the same trainer to do refresher work with her and give you some pointers on how to continue her schooling to best effect.

Thank you! This makes me feel better honestly. And sounds like a much less stressful plan than what I’ve been searching my brain trying to figure out. ?

 

[mrsarmstrong1618]

Y

Mrs. Armstrong, don't panic. You're moving to your new property in a few months time and the horse will not get any greener. Sometimes it can do a horse good to have a break. She's only 7. So I think to answer your question, yes just wait a bit. Keep up with the ground work. Have you tried in-hand work under saddle? Not ridden, but you do everything from the ground a bit like the Spanish riding school. Not the same as groundwork.

Yes! My mare LOVES in hand work!
I haven’t done much of it as of late however. Perhaps I should do more.
Thank you for your answer! It’s setting my mind at ease for sure ?

 

[fredflop]

I think your better off waiting until you can get the horse at home.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

Don't panic, wait til you have her home. My young horse went in March last year and had 9 weeks being started under saddle, he was just turning 5. He's been turned away since (mainly due to Covid, my weight etc,) and will start again this year once the clocks go forward, he is 6 at the end of April. All he will do this year is hack, he won't even sniff an arena until this time next year. How big and what breeding is she..?? My lad is approx 16.1 and is a Connemara x big cob so he's still maturing really....he looks like an ID with a pony's head ??
Horses don't care if their being ridden, just enjoy her X

 

[Palindrome]

It's fine waiting, you could also try to find a very competent sharer.

 

[moosea]

Could you do a swap with one of the other owners?
They watch your child for 40 minutes once a week and you will fill all their hay nets for the week in return?

 

[paddi22]

I rehab horses here for a rescue it's so easy to put pressure on yourself over them, especially if you've made some progress. in reality though sometimes you just need to 'park them' and pick them up again when the time and conditions are right. The universe and everyone else doesn't care if the horse is sitting in a field eating grass, and the horse herself is happy and content. it's only you putting pressure on yourself and you have bigger priorities at the moment. moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do in life, plus you have a baby! - you have enough on your plate. the best time to restart her is when you are settled and under less pressure as you will be in a better head space.

 

[Chinchilla]

OP sounds as if they are in the US....?