20 month filly suddenly gone ga ga and abit aggressive

A couple of points.

1. unless you actually saw her getting her headcollar off while rolling, or whatever, you cannot be certain that she didn't get caught up on it - unless they are very close fitting an agile youngster can even get a foot caught in them when scratching, so I think it is very possible that she has frightened herself with the headcollar.

2. assuming the headcollar has nothing to do with this, you do need to adopt the position of herd leader with her - you and your family are not her herd mates, or playthings and she has to respect you all without fear - so I suggest (as others have) that for the time being you take the children out of the equation.
 
An experienced person will know that all horses need company, espcially young ones.

Sort that out first, and the other issues should be quite easy to sort out.

If it's not possible to get her the companion she needs - then you're better off sending her back to where she came from.
 
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Diane - sorry hun, and I don't mean to be rude or upset you in any way but have you had a lot of experience with owning horses? I ask because (sorry again) the behaviour of your filly, the fact that you expect young children to safely handle such a young and inexperienced horse unsupervised, your nervousness and hesitancy around her all seem to suggest you haven't. Your filly is just being a filly. A very new home and no other horses to give her a bit of security is bound to make her flighty and edgy. What she needs more than anything at this time is leadership and someone to boss her around so she feels safe again. Take a crop (not a lunge whip) and don't be afraid to use it, even if it's just to wave it at her or smack the ground hard in front of her. If necessary, tie a Tesco carrier bag to the end of it, which will give her something to think about. Take care about that because you don't want her to be afraid of you, just respectful. What would her mother/other horses have done if she'd been behaving like that in the field? Flattened their ears at her, snapped at her, ran at her, put her in her place. So you have to do that too. Release your inner brood mare lol! Be assertive round her, wave your arms in her face and "grow" a foot to show her you mean business. I've known the tiniest of ponies to be the herd leader amongst the 16.2 hunters! Another thing that will help her settle is routine. Work out a routine that suits you and stick to it so she knows when you will turn up, what happens next, etc etc. Take polos, a chair and good book (along with the crop) into her field and just sit there reading quietly. Give her a polo if she's polite round you. Leap off the chair and scream loudly if she isn't. But remember, you have to be totally consistent with her. No good letting her do something one minute and yelling at her for it the next - you'll just end up with a very confused and worried horse. You've got the crop if absolutely necessary. I know it's not me dealing with your filly but I honestly don't see this as anything other than what you get when first you buy a youngster. You can't possibly give in after 2 weeks - owning a horse can bring much more fun and games than this! Do you have an expert friend who can come round and give you some tips?

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Very good advice
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I hope stuff improves for you soon, stick with it and it'll work out.
 
This is what happens when people with limited, if any, experience have youngsters.

Nobody would think it's OK to keep a 2 yr old on its own!!

The poor thing is probably going Stir Crazy.

Either get yourself off to a livery yard, or get a companion NOW .....not in a couple of months....

until you do that, i'd put down any sticks/whips/feeds etc and give the poor thing a break!!!

some people are truely unbelievable
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I have a few concerns about this - but to be brutally honest, diane1298, the filly is a mismatch to your situation, and you would be better off selling/returning her and buying an older schoolmaster for you and your children.
I will explain my reasons;
1. It really isn't acceptable to keep a 2yr old in a field on its own...she needs a 'herd' to feel safe, learn manners, socialise with, play with. Ideally she needs a mix of wise old mares and youngsters to play with.
2. You are already frightened of her - she is going to get bigger, and stronger, and more frustrated as she gets older - do you want your children to deal with this?
3. Time moves very slowly for children - they don't want to wait years til they can handle, groom, ride and enjoy their pony - a safe and steady schoolmaster/mistress now would be better.
4. Even if you do get a companion, you may find that she becomes worse - if she is above it in the pecking order, or if she develops worse separation anxiety.
5. What about your safety - if she 'gets you', is there someone there that can help? Or just your children? The fact that you think it is safe to ever have a picnic in a field with a 2yr old also worries me.
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Sorry, I know it isn't what you want to hear, but it is my honest opinion...and I have a couple of fillies (now 3 and 4yr old but I've had them since birth/weaning respectively) so have experience with youngsters.
Admit it - you'd feel relieved if you had a sweet, quiet old 15yr old gelding/mare for your kids to enjoy?
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Admit it - you'd feel relieved if you had a sweet, quiet old 15yr old gelding/mare for your kids to enjoy?
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In fact - this would probably be perfect:

Horsemart
 
I havent read all the replies, so sorry if I repeat anything already said.

Youngsters cannot be kept alone. Your filly needs other horses to teach her manners and social skills. And often they need several other horses. A sheep will not teach your filly what she needs to know. Yes, it'd be company, but not the right kind of company.

I wouldnt worry about the rug, I'm assuming this is a pony, so therefore wouldnt need a rug.
 
I have read everyones comments and agree with most of what is being said. I totally agree that she would be far better off with a friend and this was what was going to happen. I had arranged for my friends retired hunter to be in the field with her but at the last minute she decided to loan her out to a lady who wanted a quiet hack. I am getting a steady hack myself in the next month or so but i dont think it is fair on the filly to make her wait that long. That is why i find myself and the pony in this position. I do have a lot of experience with older horses and understand the importance of routine. I think what i have been abit stupid on is being fooled into thinking she was more kid friendly than she really is. She was fetched in by a child at the yard and groomed and generally looked after by children, under adult supervision. It is also worth remebering that we all spent 2 weeks with her after school and at weekends before deciding to fetch her home. She showed no signs of anytype of bad behaviour and even lifted her back legs up before being asked when i was doing her feet!!
Before i brought her home i also asked lots of questions about her past and observed how things were done at the yard as i am always abit suspicous!!
I have barely slept a wink and after lots of thinking i have come to the decision that in a few years she will be a gorgeous pony but at the moment she needs horsey company and alot more time. With this in mind i have phoned the dealer and asked him to fetch her. It is such a shame and anyone who knows me will be amazed that a pony actually scared me but she did and i think to be fair to her she needs to find a home with more ponies to play with.
I have even got my friend who has lots of gorgeous well mannered horses she has brought on and alot of experience with yougsters to see if she could catch her and she did exactly the same to her and believe me she really dosent scare easily.
 
Also and i know im being got at abit but i have been doing most of what has beed adviced regarding her care and training and i dont want anyone to think im a complete idiot. I really think it is a combination of no horsey company (my fault) and being in season.
 
Amy may..you just made me cry!! Thanks though i know its the right thing i just cant believe ive turned into one of those people who normally id be thinking, what the hell were they thinking!!
 
I agree with AmyMay - it is nice to see someone who thinks through problems so clearly.
I hope you get the right horse for you and your children to enjoy, and the filly finds a suitable home.
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Thanks Shilasdair, my biggest worry is what happens to the filly. I have phoned the dealer and to be honest he showed a different side aswell!! Suddenly the months trial we had agreed with a promise of a full refund has come into question and he tried to fob me off with a 9 month old filly who he says would be more suitable...yes i did say 9 month
 
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Thanks Shilasdair, my biggest worry is what happens to the filly. I have phoned the dealer and to be honest he showed a different side aswell!! Suddenly the months trial we had agreed with a promise of a full refund has come into question and he tried to fob me off with a 9 month old filly who he says would be more suitable...yes i did say 9 month

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Well done Diane, it takes guts to admit you don't have the know how, that alone shows you have horsesense tbh.

As for the dealer offering you a 9 month old when you have clearly told him that your 2yo is not right - words fail me. I wish you well in your search for a pony - I do think that lovely connie that Amymay posted the link to would be perfect though
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Thanks Sirena it is nice to hear some words of support. I think as far as looking after youngsters im really not experienced enough and am going to stick to what i am more familar with
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It really is a lesson learnt, after more than 25 years on and off with ex racers, hunters and older crazys (who i never had a problem with) that if you go into a horsey area you are not familar with problems will arise. I used to look after alot of horses in my younger days and was known as the girl who would calm down the most nutty of horses!!
The kids still absolutely love her and i am going to feel very bad when she goes and no doubt there will be alot of tears
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Cant see the link for the connie?
 
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im just getting lots of --------------- ??

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Mmm, weird.

Does it work better if you try and quote me - thereby giving you the full address??
 
Hi, still geting lots of ------- maybe my computer settings, will have a look in a minute!
I am in lincolnshire, about 7 miles from the beach and close to the wolds which has some really nice rides. We have a 3 acre field and brick built stables and all the time in the world to spend with the right type of pony and horse.
 
Ha ha, i have the link now..will have a look.
I have decided that if i can avoid it i am not going to send her back to the dealer as im not very confident he will find her a good home. I have spent the morning phoning around my horsey friends and i may have found her a home with other youngsters where she will be allowed to grow up and be fetched on when she is ready
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Ha ha, i have the link now..will have a look.
I have decided that if i can avoid it i am not going to send her back to the dealer as im not very confident he will find her a good home. I have spent the morning phoning around my horsey friends and i may have found her a home with other youngsters where she will be allowed to grow up and be fetched on when she is ready
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Sounds perfect.
 
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Ha ha, i have the link now..will have a look.
I have decided that if i can avoid it i am not going to send her back to the dealer as im not very confident he will find her a good home. I have spent the morning phoning around my horsey friends and i may have found her a home with other youngsters where she will be allowed to grow up and be fetched on when she is ready
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Well Done!!

Next time get a gelding!!
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Ha ha, i have the link now..will have a look.
I have decided that if i can avoid it i am not going to send her back to the dealer as im not very confident he will find her a good home. I have spent the morning phoning around my horsey friends and i may have found her a home with other youngsters where she will be allowed to grow up and be fetched on when she is ready
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Well Done!!
Next time get a gelding!!
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Oi!
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I have three mares (inc a 3yo and a 4yo filly) and they don't behave like that; they wouldn't dare or either I or my old mare would bite them.
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Ha ha, i have the link now..will have a look.
I have decided that if i can avoid it i am not going to send her back to the dealer as im not very confident he will find her a good home. I have spent the morning phoning around my horsey friends and i may have found her a home with other youngsters where she will be allowed to grow up and be fetched on when she is ready
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Hi! Am glad you've come to a decision you're happy with and even more happy to hear you might have found her a private home. I don't think a dealer's yard is a very nice place for any baby. Well done for doing the best you can by her. Wish I was closer as my 2 year old could do with a companion!
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Best of luck finding a new BOY!!!
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I think you've done the right thing... it sounds like she behaves in exactly the same way as my mare, but my mare is not a youngster, she's in her mid 20's and has behaved like that on and off for the 12 years I've had her! Yes it can be scary, but you just have to stand your ground. My mare behaved like this when she had a companion, she was protective and wouldn't let you near. Now she behaves like this protecting a patch of weeds
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