40 somethings - Time to 'man up?'

[scarymare]

I've just spent the last hour looking through RC sites with new dates and I really do think I need to 'man up' as all the kids say now. Feeling quite positive and this year I don't want to be left on the sidelines watching. I'm fed up with lacking confidence, being risk averse and not trusting my poor and very genuine horse, always finding an excuse not to do XC schooling - its 2 foot 3 for goodness sake etc.

So if any of you ladies of a certain age have managed to turn the corner I would love to hear about it!

 

[nicelittle]

I am not yet 40, (38 next week) but sometime last year just decided that if I don't get on and do it now, then I never will. I went from not having jumped since a teenager to having regular jumping lessons, happily jumping 90cm on shared horse. Unfortunatley he was PTS in Nov (nothing to do with the jumping I hasten to add) and I am now trying to 'man up' to the possibility of getting my own horse, exciting, but also quite terrifiying. Again, I am feeling that if I don't do it no, I never will. So go for it, you're a long time dead, I say!!!!

 

[Katieaston]

Well this doesn’t relate to me as I am only 20, but my mum however(48), is a VERY nervous rider, constantly saying how she couldn’t possibly do this or that as if she did and it went badly and she fell off and was injured e.c..t. However with a swift boot up the a## from me and a very genuine little horse, I made her do it, and this was the outcome….

Although she would kill me if she saw these pictures online, I’m sure she would agree that she had a wonderful time. Habeing since been out to dressage and all in all, is having a much better time with her lovely little horse.

 

[Heucherella]

I have had this attitude since my first ever riding lesson, age 40, a few years ago. I have been determined to try everything, and not allow any nerves to spoil it. I took on a share horse after 18 months, who I went out solo hacking on, had jumping lessons, and did a Trec competition. On my second share I went hunting, and last summer I bought my own horse. We have a go at anything that we can, and love every minute of it. I do have wobbly minutes sometimes - he is a big lad, and when we disagree about something, it can be a bit scary, but I refuse to get nervous. He had a paddy out hacking a few weeks ago, and 'tigger bounced' all the way home with me barely in control, but I still got back on the next day, and hacked him out, and over the same route too. Needeless to say, he was fine, but I was a little nervous. But I have waited all my life to have my own horse, and I am determined to enjoy every minute of it.

 

[Mrs B]

I'm not quite sure why it surprises anyone!

I am someone who used to get on anything with approximately 4 legs. I never learned to ride 'correctly' - in fact until about 10 years ago, I had no idea about diagonals of half halts etc but if someone wanted someone else to get on something - I would. And my 'stickability' was pretty damned good. I would literally laugh in the face of danger.

BUT. Life gets in the way. Sadly, life experience means you see and hear when things go wrong.

When you're younger, you say "It'll never happen!" and it probably won't. But sadly as you get older, the chances are it might - purely probability and statistics. And it DOES alter the way you weigh up risk.

One of my favourite sayings is 'adults are children who owe money' and it's true.

As adults, we cannot jeopardize this. When you're 20, if you crash and burn you may spend 6 weeks in plaster. But there's probably someone to pick you up, ferry you around, buy the food, pay the electricity bill and bring you a Nurofen while you recover in front of the telly.

Having said all that.... what you need is a friend of a similar age who understands all that but tells you to feel the fear and do it anyway

I know I do...

 

[PennyJ]

I'd say book it and go for it. You dont have to jump every fence after all, and you'll probably enjoy it once you're there. I should admit here I really don't like jumping at all, I leave all that sort of thing to my daughter. Logs and ditches only when absolutely unavoidable for me. However, there are plenty out there more nervous than me, some so nervy I wonder why they bother having a rideable horse at all, they'd be better with oldies or babies they could educate, no pressure to ride at all...

 

[fitzaud2]

I used to ooze confidence, back in the day!!! Would ride anything, I hunted horses that nobody else would hunt, just to get out there. I then spent 8 years away from horses, having children, etc.. and came back a big chicken. I, luckily, got a fab horse 3 years ago, that broughht back my confidence a bit. I competed him in 80cm comps, I was such a sight, v&d all morning the morning of a comp, panic attacks for 2 days before, couldnt talk to anyone or eat anything until after i'd finished, all this on a horse that looked after me. My sister thought I was mad. She reckoned if thats what competing did to you, then give it up, but when I went into the arena, I was buzzed up, out to win, forgot I was a chicken, so in my opinion, it was worth it. sadly, Cooper was PTS nov 09, (broke my heart), and I went spiralling backwards. I am now getting my confidence back - again- on a baby, of all kinds of horses!! My spirit is rising 4, just riding, broke him myself, and not afraid, but i've had him since he was a foal. Dont think I'll be hunting any time soon, but I'm BACK!!!!!!!

 

[vanessa97]

Well this doesn’t relate to me as I am only 20, but my mum however(48), is a VERY nervous rider, constantly saying how she couldn’t possibly do this or that as if she did and it went badly and she fell off and was injured e.c..t. However with a swift boot up the a## from me and a very genuine little horse, I made her do it, and this was the outcome….

Although she would kill me if she saw these pictures online, I’m sure she would agree that she had a wonderful time. Habeing since been out to dressage and all in all, is having a much better time with her lovely little horse.

Lovely photo! your mum looks great-good for her and good for you for encoraging her!

 

[JCWHITE]

Great stories, what about the 50 somethings??
I am abroad, dont speak the language much,
Have a young horse I am bringing on of a foreign breed, am trying Endurance and Trec, and will be jump schooling soon.
Look at the cover page of this weeks h and h, I am going to cut it out and stick it up in the kitchen!!
JDI as a boss used to say
Just Do It!!
JC

 

[hairycob]

I'm a fifty something who bought a 4 yo last summer & is planning to take him to a hunter trial in May! Last time I went XC was over 7 years ago in a tiny class on a schoolmaster pony. Only a tiny class & pairs but to make sure I do it & don't wuss out I've been out & bought a nice top & matching silk!

 

[diet2ride]

Hi, I did a confident rider course at ashen equestrian centre a couple of years ago (I went because I am too heavy to ride and I wanted to try the mechanical horse)

The course however was a real eye opener to me, they taught you different techniques on how to deal with the emotions connected to your fears etc. And gave you a real positive feeling.

I know they do some DVD,s for different disciplines.

I use to ride anything with no fear, but I know now what with have a young son and responsibilities i can't... I will use the techniques I learnt to get rid of the 'what if' syndrome.

 

[MochaDun]

I'm 48 and had my horse for the last 7 years. Was very nervous joining RC and going to shows in the early years with some friends off the yard - only did a couple of showing classes and 2 jumping classes and RC rallies but really enjoyed them. Went to RC camp twice and while I like showjumping I'm not a XC fan, not for me for some reason. But had fortnightly riding lessons up til end of last year and in the summer many of those were jumping as we had use of a paddock rather than a school - highest I've got to is 2'6" but still feels quite an achievement as your confidence grows the more you do. I think you're instinctively more protective of yourself the older you get as you know you have mortgage to pay when you might be off work, bones that can break and hurt etc even though you may still have a daredevil inside! I've had to cut back on the few out and about horse activities due to changes in my finances but still enjoy a lot of hacking. If I had more easy to get to events near me (ie, hack to!) and more money and more time I would try and do a bit more with mine.

 

[MrsMozart]

Yup, used to ride anything and everything. Never turned a ride down, no matter what (not always the brightest of ideas, but on the whole great fun ).

Back into horses four or five years ago and not looked back

Bought a three and a half year old and when we could ride (lameness issues that resulted in her being put to sleep a year after I got her), we were out, even though half the time I was quaking in my boots . I was determined though - if I wanted a go anywhere/do anything horse then I'd have to put the work in .

Lost Tigs. Bought a four year old just backed DWB (okay, so possibly not the brightest idea, but she had the promise of everything!). Two years later and we've missed out on so much due to her being wonky - the LoU is going through now (oh so slowly, thank you *** for dragging it out ).

No idea what we will do... The Dizz is not allowed to jump or to do the high level dressage move, come to think of it, not sure whether too much collection even at the low levels will be too much for her pelvis/rear suspensory ligaments

But! Having lost time to a bleed on the brain, then to a broken back (I've only come off twice in the last four plus years! I just do it in style ), I am determined to Do Something! Though no idea what... I get back on on Tuesday, for the first time in six months

Forgot to add!: Love the picture of your Mum

 

[Clava]

I've just spent the last hour looking through RC sites with new dates and I really do think I need to 'man up' as all the kids say now. Feeling quite positive and this year I don't want to be left on the sidelines watching. I'm fed up with lacking confidence, being risk averse and not trusting my poor and very genuine horse, always finding an excuse not to do XC schooling - its 2 foot 3 for goodness sake etc.

So if any of you ladies of a certain age have managed to turn the corner I would love to hear about it!

Me last year at 44 I did my first hunter trial (2'3) and then first SJ and by the end of the summer a ODE. Before the hunter trial I was very nervous as my ex-racer had never done one and we'd never done a step or a ditch before, but she enjoyed it as much as me, she looked for each obstacle, trusted me and even did a drop jump that I had stopped before and was about to talk myself out of when a 6 yr old child said "if you don't do it , you'll be disqualified", I said I wasn't worried about that but about the jump! Decided life was too short and went for it anyway.

Do it, go for it and have fun.

 

[brigantia]

But I have waited all my life to have my own horse, and I am determined to enjoy every minute of it.

This is my attitude in a nutshell. I don't compete or do riding club but I focus on what I love--long hacks! I think everyone should do what they love. If you have always dreamed of RC or competing, do it.

Lovely picture of your mother upthread!! I bet she was so pleased.

 

[Hippona]

I'm 41......and like some of you, I was the typical ride anything, do anything, ride anywhere youngster. I had a break and got horses again when I was 34.

I'm happy to hack and do jumping at home- I'm not much of a competitor apart from RC showing and what not. My last horse was a flighty PBA who taught me so much....he was PTS last year and my plan was to spend the winter with daughter and OH's beasties and look around in the spring for a sane all-rounder.

But I go bored....I like a project see I bought a very very green 5 yo arab...basically been backed and ridden away, not handled much at all......wouldn't stand to be groomed, feet done- tacking up was a 30minute effort and getting on board was a launch yourself on affair......we've worked through our issues and he's now hacking out. I wont say 'hacking out nicely' because at present its just sooooo exciting for him but seeing as his previous owners could'nt get him to leave the yard even whilst being led I'm happy to have got this far.

I figured..2 choices.Get the sane all-rounder you 'should' get in your 40s......or get the horse that sets your heart on fire and puts a smile on your face.

Don't get me wrong- there are days when I'm absolutely ******** myself but he's the horse for me and we've hopefully got many years ahead of us.

 

[soulfull]

another 40 plus here who's been scared ******** at times but still gone and done bits. I badly broke my ankle 2 years ago in a silly fall, then it healed badly and had to have an ankle replacement 5 months ago

Back in the saddle now with a fairly young green WB. He is basically good just a bit silly sometimes (he gets excited)

I've had 2/3 years off RC what with my injuries and previous horses injuries so this year I'm back, have new lorry and new horse and while I'm nervous I am also excited too.

I've started jumping again its a bit nerve wracking as he hasn't learn't where to take off yet but unlike my last horse I know this one won't stop! Part of me would love to have a go xc but I know he will get mega excited and bounce everywhere. I keep telling myself one day I will do it. and hope I will

I have a friend who is 70 this year and has a young horse whom she bred herself, He is 6 this year and already she has done fun rides, dr, a bit of sj. she hacks for miles and miles and is loving every minute

 

[vanessa97]

I think I need to 'man up' too!
I have had my mare for nearly five years and we mainly do hacking and I have showed her once!
I am rather overweight and sometimes think maybe I use my weight as an excuse not to try SJ as I am a really scared in case I fall off, etc, as my mare is a bit sharp and I have fallen off a few times and it hurts!
This is the year though!

 

[MochaDun]

I'm loving reading this thread

 

[Gorgeous George]

I don't if this helps but I am 41 and got George (my first horse at the age of 37) and I was (and still am some of the time) a very nervous rider, one day I went for a jumping lesson and the sight of all the 'proper' jumps made me cry and panic and it was all I could do to canter over a pole on the ground Also when I first did dressage (w&t tests then eventually prelim) I was a complete bag of nerves and was often sick beforehand

But with lots of help from my instructor, yard friends and of course George we have as they say 'felt the fear...............'

So here are a few pics of us last year:

I still have quite a few wibbles, esp if i go somewhere new, but it has done wonders for my confidence

Go on you can do it so long as you take it slowly........it's so worth it

 

[MilosDad]

I've just spent the last hour looking through RC sites with new dates and I really do think I need to 'man up' as all the kids say now. Feeling quite positive and this year I don't want to be left on the sidelines watching. I'm fed up with lacking confidence, being risk averse and not trusting my poor and very genuine horse, always finding an excuse not to do XC schooling - its 2 foot 3 for goodness sake etc.

So if any of you ladies of a certain age have managed to turn the corner I would love to hear about it!

I am not 'a lady of a certain age' but I am a man over 50. Riding for three years and planning my first event this year. My mantras: I regret the things I dont do, always wear body armour and an air jacket, I am not bl**dy falling off this thing, but if that fails 'tuck and roll' and lastly just go for it.

 

[Joyous70]

I turned 40 last year, have owned my boy for 18 years, and when i was in my early to mid 20's used to take him jumping & do 3ft tracks (hes 13'2"), I stopped competing due to transport and lack of interest, then bought another pony 5 years ago, who has a bit of a stop in him and decked me a couple of seasons ago Last year we did only 2 shows 2'3 and 2'6" i was nervous but enjoyed it too - 2 weeks ago i went and did a 2'3 and a 2'6 I was even more nervous as i haven't done it since May last year. I am considering getting a body protector to make me feel a bit braver maybe but my attitude these days is, im not getting any younger i don't know whats around the corner, so im going to enjoy myself and my boys while i can.

And guess what, im off again this weekend, see if my nerves are any better before i shell out on a made to measure BP.

 

[jendie]

I'm a 50 something and up until this year I'd never broken a single bone. This year I started by fracturing my wrist and went on to fracture my spine. The falls are harder as you get older, you don't bounce as well. Sadly I also have responsibilities and need to be mobile and in reasonable health. On the plus side the broken back may have saved my life as the CT scan I had showed up a big ovarian cyst that needed urgent removal. If I hadn't had the scan I wouldn't have known it was there.

I've just got back to riding and I don't feel as fearful as I thought I would but so far I've only been on gentle schoolmasters. I'm riding my own quirky mare this weekend so wish me luck!!

 

[jnb]

Bought my horse (show cob) when I was 36, it took me till I was nearly 40 to get into a show ring! I was PETRIFIED!
Now I look back on the past 3 years, we've done classes of 35, all galloping together, Evening Performances with spotlights, crowds etc, dressage etc etc, to think at first I couldn;t get on my horse at a showground! And it used to take me 10 mins to get on at the yard (I had to have MY mounting block as well )
You can do it! Go for it, and don;t look back!

 

[Spottyappy]

I think the biggest problem as you age, is the fact you become aware you don't bounce like you did when younger! If I fall off, it hurts! It never used to! I am defo not as brave and gungho by far- used to think nowt of riding bareback down main road in headcollar
Now, I will still jump if egged on by teenaged daughter, but not often. I can't sit the huge bucks one of our boys puts in, and if he starts to hoon about, I get off and let daughter get on him. (what's that maternal instincts shouldn't I protect her!!- no, self preservation and she sits like glue!
I now enjoy hacking and endurance instead of jumping and xc...

 

[fatbird]

What an encouraging thread.

I'm a 50 something but, unlike many of you, didn't spend my childhood developing stickability and fearlessness. I had a few riding lessons and 'pony treks' but never achieved what I would now call competency and I certainly never imagined I would ever own my own.

However, I did get my own horse in my mid 40's after a period of loaning (a highly unsuitable, hormonal, green anglo-arab mare but that's another story). My problem, and what holds me back, is that I still believe horsey activities, especially competitive things, are for other people - the ones who can actually ride! I have done a few pleasure rides but no-one watches you doing that!

With a lot of encouragment from friends, last year I did finally enter 2 w&t tests and a prelim, but I always feel like an imposter amongst the real riders! I need to have more self-belief. Where can you get that from???

 

[lily1]

Im 48 nearly 49! I dont ride anymore but I still show ponies and have a mare which I bought as a foal that is now infoal herself, the love of horses is too strong even if getting up at 6am to muck out gets harder its still worth it. One day I might give up and sell everything & move to a place near the sea........ maybe not!

 

[Joyous70]

What an encouraging thread.

I'm a 50 something but, unlike many of you, didn't spend my childhood developing stickability and fearlessness. I had a few riding lessons and 'pony treks' but never achieved what I would now call competency and I certainly never imagined I would ever own my own.

However, I did get my own horse in my mid 40's after a period of loaning (a highly unsuitable, hormonal, green anglo-arab mare but that's another story). My problem, and what holds me back, is that I still believe horsey activities, especially competitive things, are for other people - the ones who can actually ride! I have done a few pleasure rides but no-one watches you doing that!

With a lot of encouragment from friends, last year I did finally enter 2 w&t tests and a prelim, but I always feel like an imposter amongst the real riders! I need to have more self-belief. Where can you get that from???

Fatbird - I didn't own my own boy until i was in my twenties, like you had a few "lessons" as a child but unfortunately my parents didn't have the funds for me to go regular, and i didn't start again until i was 21, sometimes i feel like an imposter, and sometimes i feel a bit of a fraud when im competing in a 2'3" class surrounded by much younger riders than me and then get placed as i did the other weekend much to my surprise I don't like being watched either but i want to jump! Go and have some fun with your horsey and STUFF everyone else what they think etc., how do you think these people you refer to as real riders got where they are today??? You need to practice, you need to get in the ring and you need to have some fun - and who says your not a real rider im sure your just as good as those your watching

 

[Achinghips]

I'm 42, and sold my horse to go to Uni when I was 18. 1 year ago, I bought a Tb chestnut mare to go back to riding with. Hence, AchingHips. I'm now thinking of changing to Tenniselbow.

Bloody difficult!!!!!!!!!! but loving every second

 

[cobgirlie]

I hit 40...not so bad I thought!! Then after a month or so I started thinking there really had to be more to life and I needed to start getting a move on to accomplish things I'd always wanted. SO booked some jumping lessons on LC with my YO'ers daughter (she was 14 then but what a jumper..and a great kid!). I thought she'd be able to talk to me alot more simply than most professional instructors and I wouldn't feel like the fat old dunce because I'd been a hacker since I learnt to ride!!

So I started off...quickly learnt that LC LOVED jumping..for a short fat cob he had some bounce and the pleasure he got from leaping (and boy did he leap...strides...what are they???) was obvious so I decided to keep going, even though I was terrified..and useless!! We progressed until Xmas and then I had a nasty fall at a double, totally my fault he's so honest he got me over the first jump which was planks something he'd never done before and I landed on his neck so instead of taking off for the 2nd he pulled up so I landed on the jump, knocking my hip and elbow on the wings and to be honest I really did hurt myself. So this put a stop to indoor jumping, and it wasn't until the spring that I decided to 'man up' and get going again!! I am so much more confident outside and LC likes jumping on grass so we started off on small jumps again (much to his distaste) and eventually realised that XC might be something we should try....he honestly is the bravest little cob and so we went for it. It was like the heavens opened and a shining light came down...I was home!!! I absolutely loved it beyond anything I'd ever done before!! Okay we were never going to be doing Badminton but my brave little man absolutely flew over anything I asked and he bounced the moment he saw tyres or tree trunks!!

42 in April and last year we entered our first pairs XC comp...came 3rd out of 11!! Then I did a mini course alone...came 1st!!!!!!!!! We did some Jump Cross...I feel off cos the jumps were much higher than advertised but I didn't want to not try...he flew round and cleared the jumps but my fear got to me sadly!! Wasn't hurt so no harm done.

We then entered a Le Trek comp, not a BHS one but a locally arranged event...we came first in our class for that too!!!

I've realised the mad little hairy monster is exceptionally brave, 100% honest and the most fun you can have on a little horse!! He's willing, able and totally up for fun!! Together we'll gallop across open fields, scream and laugh on the beaches with my friends P2P horses (such a laugh..little cob desperately trying to keep up with the TB's!!!) and attempt things I never would have dreamed of in my 'youth'. We drag hunt when we can and again that's something I never thought I'd do...he's absolutely the best horse for it because he's fun but safe..and boy does he love it!!!

I also achieved another dream of getting a 2nd horse, bought BC as a 2 year old (my 40th present to myself!!!), he's turned into the perfect look I wanted...okay I'll admit he's abit slow, and very very quiet but that's not a bad thing, I expect at some point I'll appreciate his sedate nature over LC's insane one!!

I'm now looking for a 3rd, want a baby to bring on for the future. Something big and cobby but who will jump so I can continue enjoying the XC etc when BC starts to slow (he's 9 now and being a heavy cob I don't want to put too much jumping on his legs).

At 30 I was working a very high pressured job, lots of money but no horses and no interests other than work work work! Now at 42 I'm in a terrible job, no money but surrounded by people I love and share an interest with and with horses and the lifestyle that goes with it...know which age I'm preferring!!!

edited to add...I've already booked a 'Horse Camp' for June!!!! Hee hee can't wait!!!