Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
By Hovis and Omar
Step 1.
Refuse to come to the gate so that your mother has to tramp across the field wearing the jeans she is wearing on the train in approx 1 hours time.
Step 2.
Pretend to be highly irritated by flies and take the opportunity to wip snot all down her back on the walk back to the stables.
Step 3.
When arriving in the stables look hot, bothered and slightly tucked up thus alarming her into thinking you are dehydrated. Refuse to drink from the water trough.
Step 4.
When your mother brings you a bucket of water, look pitifully at it before knocking it all over her feet and the bottom of her jeans.
Step 5.
When she brings back another bucket convince her to hold it for you whilst you suck gratefully at the water. When she is not looking then spit the contents of your mouth all over her.
Step 6
Get your older brother to indicate he too wants some nice fresh water. Wait til he has his head in the bucket then distract your mum by throwing your headcollar at her. At this moment encourage your taller older brother to stretch his neck to the highest point then spit water all over your mothers head.
Step 7
Rub your head all over your haynet then cuddle your mother lovingly. Very subtly tranfer the hay from your mane all down her back and the back of her hair. For good measure rub lovingly up her front too.
Et voila! A grateful mother who has an entire train carriage to herself on the way to scotland!
PS perhaps try to tell her before she gets to the hotel that she is wearing the contents of your bed in her hair to avoid her being viewed as some slightly eccentric looney by hotel staff
Step 1.
Refuse to come to the gate so that your mother has to tramp across the field wearing the jeans she is wearing on the train in approx 1 hours time.
Step 2.
Pretend to be highly irritated by flies and take the opportunity to wip snot all down her back on the walk back to the stables.
Step 3.
When arriving in the stables look hot, bothered and slightly tucked up thus alarming her into thinking you are dehydrated. Refuse to drink from the water trough.
Step 4.
When your mother brings you a bucket of water, look pitifully at it before knocking it all over her feet and the bottom of her jeans.
Step 5.
When she brings back another bucket convince her to hold it for you whilst you suck gratefully at the water. When she is not looking then spit the contents of your mouth all over her.
Step 6
Get your older brother to indicate he too wants some nice fresh water. Wait til he has his head in the bucket then distract your mum by throwing your headcollar at her. At this moment encourage your taller older brother to stretch his neck to the highest point then spit water all over your mothers head.
Step 7
Rub your head all over your haynet then cuddle your mother lovingly. Very subtly tranfer the hay from your mane all down her back and the back of her hair. For good measure rub lovingly up her front too.
Et voila! A grateful mother who has an entire train carriage to herself on the way to scotland!
PS perhaps try to tell her before she gets to the hotel that she is wearing the contents of your bed in her hair to avoid her being viewed as some slightly eccentric looney by hotel staff
