A bit morbid - ashes

[springer1021]

I lost my beloved dog on xmas eve last year due to an aortic aneursym which I didn't even know he had, one minute he was chasing his ball and next the aneurysm ruptrured and he was dying.

I had him cremated and his ashes returned (he is the only one of my dogs I have done this with) but I just can't get over him, I still think about him every day and I know in the last 6 months of his life I didn't give him enough attention as my mum was diagnosed with cancer and I had to care for her.

I didn't realise how much I loved him until he was gone.

I'm beginning to think I might be better off scattering his ashes and then maybe I can let go but I don't want to scatter them and then regret it.

I've still got two other dogs so it's not that i'm missing a "doggy" companion.
Would just like other peoples opinions, scatter them or keep them?

 

[CAYLA]

You culd either scattter a token amount, or plant them under a tree in the the garden or plant a token amount under tree and keep the rest in a nice little box, I keep mine and they are now all in one box (big box) I plan to move to somewhere with land at soem stage and scatter them there.

 

[doonrocket]

So this post isn't about cricket . (Squad is announced)

 

[springer1021]

So this post isn't about cricket . (Squad is announced)

I'm so glad you find this post amusing.

 

[BigRed]

I am sorry about your dog, it is hard to lose a pet. Why not scatter the ashes at your favourite walk ? You feel worse because he died so suddenly and you didn't get the chance to help him, but there was nothing you could have done.

 

[Galupy]

I'm sorry about your loss.

I had a young dog who died suddenly and at a bad time for me as well where she wasn't getting the attention she needed so I understand your pain and feelings of guilt. I buried her under a tree in a field at my house at the time and I used to go and sit there and talk to her for a while after it happened about what was going on and to tell her how sorry I was but in time I moved from that house. Over twelve years later, however, I still have her collar with its tags hanging up with all my current dogs' collars and leads. That has always helped me too - she is gone, but she is not forgotten.

My current dogs will be cremated and scattered where I intend to be ... I like the idea of them being free one last time in one of our favorite places.

I think what I am saying is that even though you might bury or scatter his ashes, he will be there forever with you whatever you do. As long as you remember that, hopefully there will not be regret with whichever option you choose. Maybe keep something of his aside like I did with my girl's collar just to be sure.

 

[wildwest]

firstly doon rocket bad taste...
i really feel for you i dont really know what to suggest
i think keep the ashes until your grieving process is complete ?
as i think you may regret letting the ashes go
hugs xx

 

[Cedars]

when Chloe was really poorly, I looked in to alot of ways of keeping ashes and scattering.

If you have thousands, then you could have them made into a diamond (google it!!!). But it is thousands (though they're gorgeous).

What I was going to do is buy a pendant like:

http://www.cremationsolutions.com/c4/Cremation-Jewelry-for-Pets-c85.html

There were much nicer ones but thats the only website I can find to hand. I was then going to scatter the rest of the ashes (it is only a very small amount you can put in the pendant).

Then you always have part of him with you, but the rest of him can run free.

The only thing I didnt like is that you have to put the ashes in yourself - however, my friend offered to do this for me and I'm sure you could find someone who would help you/do it if you werent up to it.

Hope this helps. Set him free xxxx

 

[devilinajar]

I still have the ashes of one of my dogs, my plan is to buy a really nice miniture weeping willow, and plant it in a big pot and put her ashes in with it. That way if we ever move she will come with me!!!

 

[ChesnutsRoasting]

I lost my beloved dog on xmas eve last year due to an aortic aneursym which I didn't even know he had, one minute he was chasing his ball and next the aneurysm ruptrured and he was dying.

I had him cremated and his ashes returned (he is the only one of my dogs I have done this with) but I just can't get over him, I still think about him every day and I know in the last 6 months of his life I didn't give him enough attention as my mum was diagnosed with cancer and I had to care for her.

I didn't realise how much I loved him until he was gone.

I'm beginning to think I might be better off scattering his ashes and then maybe I can let go but I don't want to scatter them and then regret it.

I've still got two other dogs so it's not that i'm missing a "doggy" companion.
Would just like other peoples opinions, scatter them or keep them?

I still think about my first dog virtually every day and he died twenty years ago. My mum has his ashes in a box on the dresser in the kitchen! Six months is no time at all when it comes to grieving - if you are in a quandry regarding the scattering of his ashes, don't, you will know when the time has come - and it will come - & it feels like a step forward in your grieving process.

 

[Rottie lover]

I'm sorry about your loss.

I had a young dog who died suddenly and at a bad time for me as well where she wasn't getting the attention she needed so I understand your pain and feelings of guilt. I buried her under a tree in a field at my house at the time and I used to go and sit there and talk to her for a while after it happened about what was going on and to tell her how sorry I was but in time I moved from that house. Over twelve years later, however, I still have her collar with its tags hanging up with all my current dogs' collars and leads. That has always helped me too - she is gone, but she is not forgotten.

My current dogs will be cremated and scattered where I intend to be ... I like the idea of them being free one last time in one of our favorite places.

I think what I am saying is that even though you might bury or scatter his ashes, he will be there forever with you whatever you do. As long as you remember that, hopefully there will not be regret with whichever option you choose. Maybe keep something of his aside like I did with my girl's collar just to be sure.

I agree i still have a clipping of my boys coat an his tags,as for moving on he will allways be with you,
there are sites that mix the ashes an paint a picture of your dog with them.http://www.billboardmama.com/a-dog-memorial-on-canvas-p-1151.html

 

[Bearsmum]

To be honest I think it's different for everyone and only you can know what's right for you.

I know how you feel, I lost my Lab last September and still can't think about him without tears starting - I've lost dogs before as a child and adult but this was just a real mummys boy.

A lovely lady on here lost her 'lorry' dog the day before I had Alan put down and wrote me a lovely email when I said I was going to spread his ashes at the yard. She said a gamekeeper had once said to her that no matter where you took your dog and how much they enjoyed being there you always brought them home with you and that's where he kept his dogs ashes. This is also what I have chosen and to be honest I just don't feel ready to let go, I also have my previous Lab so they live on together side by side.

The flip side of this is our very closest friends lost their beautiful Collie about a week after our loss and knew with all their hearts where they were spreading her ashes and did it the day they collected them. For them loosing Bella was just so painful (their first ever dog) and I don't think they could move on without letting her go.

Huge hugs and hope you find what's best for you.

JDx

 

[dozzie]

I think you should scatter the ashes and put a photo where the box of ashes is instead. Photos bring back happy memories.

The box of ashes just brings sad ones.

Spread the ashes. His body has gone but his spirit will always be with you in your memories.


(((((((((Hugs))))))))))

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Yes agree with post above. Or you could get a little tub and plant something in it, along with his ashes; and keep a tiny amount back if you need to.

I do sympathise with you; when we lost our little JRT bitch five years ago we had to leave her at the vets, it was so awful, and I grieved for ages after that, more than I've done with any other dog. Then later that year my old horse had to be PTS and it was such an awful year.

You don't need to feel guilty, at all. You gave your dog a super life and he loved you to bits and when he went, he was enjoying himself immensely in your presence and thinking you were the most wonderful thing in his world. What a lovely, glorious way for a doggie to go! Awful for you, but the best possible way for him coz you were there with him giving him a wonderful time!

Bless you, sending hugs.......

 

[Spudlet]

We took Barney to his favourite woodland to scatter him, and just as we did the wind changed and blew him right back at us! That dog always did have a sense of humour

Now whenever I take Henry there it's like I'm walking them both. However (although we laugh about it now) the day we did it, it felt like we were abandoning him, silly as that sounds It's nice to go back there now, now that some time has passed, though.

We put all his pics, pedigree etc into an album with his tag, so that's what we have to remember him by.

 

[springer1021]

Thanks for all your comments.

If I do scatter his ashes I know where it will, he was a real water babe and has his favourite place where he loved to go swimming, all the dogs I've had I've never grieved like this before. Emmerdale had me in floods of tears last night when the dog was put down.

I still can't decide what to do. I've still got his collar, ball and lock of hair.

 

[mollichop]

Oh last nights Emmerdale! Blub!

Both of mine are still in their boxes side by side in my bedroom, as that's where they slept. I think I would regret scattering them, although I like Spudlets feeling that she is walking him with the dog she has now

My friend scatttered her boy in his favorite stretch of river as she has fond memories of him there.

 

[Laura1812]

God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms around you and whispered come to me.
With tearful eyes i watched you, and saw you pass away.
Although i loved you dearly, i couldn't make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating, hard working paws at rest.
God broke my heart to prove to me, he only takes the best.

 

[tiggs]

That is so beautiful Laura, I lost my beautiful girl a month ago and that really strikes a chord.Thank you for posting it. I still have Tiggy's ashes and think I will probably put them in a pot with a tree on top in the garden so I can take them when I move, but I am not ready to do it yet. What has helped me is putting out photos of her so when I see them I can remember all the good times and smile through the tears.
This poem also helped

I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep,
I could see you were crying,
you found it hard to sleep,

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
'It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine I'm here,

I was with you in the morning, I watched you make your tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me,

I walked with you toward the house ,as you fumbled for your key,
I gently put my nose on you, I smiled and said it's me,

You looked so sad and tired as you sank into your chair,
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there,

It's possible for me, to be near you every day,
I say to you with certainty,’ I never went away,

When the time comes for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll run across to greet you and we'll stand together side by side,

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see,
Be patient, live your journey out.....
Then come home with me.

 

[Laura1812]

Thats a lovely poem too Tiggs - its brought tears to my eyes! Thanks for that.

I don't really have any advice other than time WILL heal eventually.

 

[Taffyhorse]

It made me well up too but what a lovely poem.

When my friends horse died she scattered a few handfuls (she had a lot!) of ashes at locations where she had very happy memories with her horse - mostly event locations, the beach etc etc. The rest she has kept at home.

Best wishes xx

 

[springer1021]

It's a really hard decision to make, I know pets give us a lot of love and enjoyment but they also break your heart.

 

[Goya]

Tiggs--those words are beautiful and made me start crying all over again. I lost my dear Beau on Monday this week and I often feel her near me.
I haven't got her ashes back yet and still don't know what to do when she comes home. There have been some lovely ideas here.

And I had to turn Emmerdale off last night. No way could I watch it.

 

[tiggs]

Goya- I am so sorry for your loss, I didn't mean to upset you. I still feel Tiggy is here in spirit and find myself saying goodnight to her and looking round for her if I go for a walk.

 

[Goya]

No. don't worry. I have to come to terms with it. I just thought those words said everything--they were perfect. I know what you mean about still talking to her, getting 3 biscuits out ,3 bowls for dinner, (I have 2 other dogs) and looking for her when on a walk.

 

[dingle12]

Well that made me cry yet again its been nearly 6 months since i lost ben and i still miss him so much, ive got his ashes and i will never scatter them i wil always keep them in the house with me. Sounds silly but i want to always know where he is when he died i could hear him every night down stairs ( he always spun araund about 10 times before sleeping ) then i got his ashes back and ive never heard him since as he is now home.

Do what ever you feel is right ive told everyone when i die put all my dogs in with me, i cannot have kids so they are my children. xx

 

[jasmine]

Lovely poems. I have mine in boxes, which have a picture frame on the front. They both stand on my mantlepiece.

 

[fallenangel123]

I lost my first Dane two days after 9/11. She was the best dog ever and I still have her ashes in a wooden box. I miss her every day still but I do know she is still with me, funny story.

I went with a friend who wanted to get a psychic (sp) reading, and being a huge cynic thought it would be funny! I was invited to sit in on it so sat quietly by the door despite this the woman kept giving me funny looks, eventually asking if I would step out as 'she didn't like dogs' So I'm feeling pretty insulted and snotty when she comes out an appologises for being rude but she was distracted by my huge black dog, and went on to describe her totally! Apparently she goes everywhere with me, as she always had, but was sad to have lost her collar, which I still have. Floored me I can tell you!

I've always found it comforting to think some part of them stays with us always.

 

[Brownmare]

I lost my first Dane two days after 9/11. She was the best dog ever and I still have her ashes in a wooden box. I miss her every day still but I do know she is still with me, funny story.

I went with a friend who wanted to get a psychic (sp) reading, and being a huge cynic thought it would be funny! I was invited to sit in on it so sat quietly by the door despite this the woman kept giving me funny looks, eventually asking if I would step out as 'she didn't like dogs' So I'm feeling pretty insulted and snotty when she comes out an appologises for being rude but she was distracted by my huge black dog, and went on to describe her totally! Apparently she goes everywhere with me, as she always had, but was sad to have lost her collar, which I still have. Floored me I can tell you!

I've always found it comforting to think some part of them stays with us always.

I don't normally go in for poetry but I just saw this on another site and it made me think of your post here:

'There is one best place to bury a dog,
if you bury her in this spot, she will
come to you when you call - come to you
over the grim, dim frontier of death,
and down the well-remembered path
and to your side again.

And though you call a dozen living
dogs to heel, they shall not growl at her,
nor resent her coming,
for she belongs there.

People may scoff at you, who see
no lightest blade of grass bent by her footfall,
who hear no whimper, people
who may never really have had a dog.
Smile at them, for you shall know
something that is hidden from them,
and which is well worth the knowing.

The one best place to bury a good dog
is in the heart of her master.'

 

[numptynoelle]

We took Barney to his favourite woodland to scatter him, and just as we did the wind changed and blew him right back at us! That dog always did have a sense of humour

Now whenever I take Henry there it's like I'm walking them both. However (although we laugh about it now) the day we did it, it felt like we were abandoning him, silly as that sounds It's nice to go back there now, now that some time has passed, though.

We put all his pics, pedigree etc into an album with his tag, so that's what we have to remember him by.

This is what we did with Madam's ashes on the Pentlands...totally agree that it did feel like we were leaving her behind when we left.

The poems are lovely, I'm welling up a bit now