Elf On A Shelf
...
Monday mornings at this time of year are always entertaining! And today was no exception!
Nothing eventful happened with my first lot so we will skip him. One of the lasses came back in on Rambo laughing though. Rambo is usually quite a lazy horse who doesn't really have any way of going he just muddles along. He was heading round the fields today as he runs tomorrow and she said as she crossed between 2 fields he just put his head between his knees and bronced! Now if other people hadn't have seen it we wouldn't have believed it as Rambo really doesn't expend any more energy than he has too ???
My 2nd lot was Big Bad Boris who was just trotting after running a cracking race to be 2nd at Hexham the other day. I kind of forget how well he ran as I was so gutted for Mulqueen, his jockey, he has to get 1 more winner to lose his claim completely and he really wanted to do it on Boris as he lost his 5lb claim on him. Turning up the hill he was 5l clear, 3l clear going over the last and if the ground hadn't have been so tacky he would have kept galloping all the way to the line. But instead he got a bit tired and got nabbed on the line in yet another photo finish! No dead heat this time, 2nd by half a head! Gutting! But anywho! Back to this morning and trotting. Boris is a good nanny and one of the young fillies that is just back in work is particularly fresh just now. So I dropped Boris back to trot with her and keep her company. Up the drive all fine and dandy. Across the top field, grand. Down the gallop not a bother. Start trotting up .and 10 yards later the filly EXPLODES! I thought the lad was a gonna! All I could see out the corner of my eye was him flying through the air! Next thing I knew Big Bad Boris was also flying through the air with a massive big fly leap come mid air buck! "You dirty barsteward!" I say to him incredulously before going into a fit of laughter! This did nothing to settle Boris! Oh no! As he landed he plunged forwards and shot off! 'Hehe hehe! Hold on tight mum! Wheeeeeeeee!' Boris giggled with a glint of mischief in his eye. I got him back together and thought (ha! Bad idea that one! One should not think when riding a racehorse one should just do!) I would steady him up to help the filly again who was throwing a tantrum at being left behind. Boris had got his freshness out of his system (or so I thought ...) and settled back into a quiet jog to let the filly catch up. At this point I am still laughing at what Big Bad Boris did. As the filly gets near us she bucks again leaps again. "Boris you absolute f***ing pleb! What the hell do you think you are doing!?!?!" I say through the laughter. 'Mum this is great fun! Boris goes bounce! Boris goes ping! Boris goes whoopeeeee! Hold on to your hats! Muahahahahahahahhahahahahhaaaaaaaa!' Boris leapt through the air, bucked mid air again, landed, plunged forward off the side of the gallop, decided he was going back onto the gallop but only made it as far as his front feet when he started broncing! "Boris!!! Get on the bloody gallop! Get your arse down off the ledge or your going to fall over!" I say as he starts properly bouncing sideways underneath me, back end a foot higher on the bank than his front end is - a very precarious position to be in! Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Boris plunged forwards and tanked off up the gallop to catch up with the others who were about 20 yards ahead. By this point I have NO control whatsoever as I am laughing so much! The lad on the filly is laughing, Scu is thoroughly enjoying the show as he was down at that section of the gallops with the dogs so got a front row seat to the whole thing! The best bit? None of the rest of the string had any idea what was going on behind them ?????
Once Boris had caught up with the rest he carried on trotting as though absolutely nothing had happened what so ever! What an absolute toad! Needless to say Big Bad Boris feel very well for himself after his run! When is the next one!?!?!?!?!?!
Over to the other yard and my first lot is Big Midnight. He hasn't done much since he won last Saturday as he needs a bit of extra down time after each run. We were just lobbing once up the gallop. Ha! It's Monday! Of course it was a lob ... As we set off up the road we get to the bit we normally trot at. Midnight half skips in front then plunges off up the road at a spanking trot! "Oi! Dickhead! Not necessary!" I say to him. 'What's that mum? Point my toes and give it my big luck trot that you can't rise to? OK! No probs! Hehehe!' He replies. Oh today just gets better and better ... as we turn into the gallop I have him on a loose rein as he normally just pops into a trot then into a nice rounded lob. Could we do that again!?! Of course we couldn't! Oh no! Midnight leaps, snatches and plunges into canter and shoots right up the backside of the horse in front. "Oh no you bloody well do not sunshine!" I say as I wrestle him into some resemblance of a shape. All is well until we get to the wee dip 3/4 way up. Midnight has always liked to have a bronc going through whilst changing legs and today was no exception. Heading back down he decided he was going to throw his head up and back at me and pull my arms out! He finally agreed to drop his head near the bottom but that was only so he could then snake it out towards to ground and tow me along! "Midnight your being an arse!" I say to him. I get a chuckle in response. Just after we got back out onto the road to walk home a lorry appeared so we all hopped into the field 10yards ahead to let it past as we had a couple that aren't great in traffic. Midnight doesn't care about it, he ignores all traffic no matter the size of speed of it. As we head back out onto the road do you think we could do this sensibly!?!?!?! Of course not! It's Monday! "You blithering great big idiot!" I screech at him as he fly leaps out onto the road, does a 90 degree turn then starts cantering down the road! "Would you come back here and stop being a moron! Incase you hadn't noticed I had no stirrups you muppet!" 'I know you didn't mum and that's what makes it funnier! Teeeeheeeee!' Was Midnight's answer to that! After that he did agree to walk home but he had to march up front. Fine. I don't care! He was walking!
My next lot was THEE most ANNOYING horse on the planet! The wee French thing, Vengeur. He nips and barks at everyone and everything when he's not spooking. At 12yo you would think he would know better! I normally get on fine with him but today was not one of those days! The girl who rode him on Saturday takes a right hold of everything's mouth and winds them up. Vengeur was no exception. I usually ride him off a long rein. Not today. Today he was absolutely sceptic! He wouldn't settle up nor down and by the time I got back to the yard I have never wanted to get off of a horse, slap it on the arse and send it on it's way by itself so much in y life before!
Last lot was a total wee Dude of a horse, Compo. He is short but stocky and a really sweet ride. He was almost on his better behaviour except for a minor broncing session half way up the gallop. That I don't mind. Doing it going down the way is a big no no though ???
I finished on a half day today as I need to fix the fence that GrayMo broke yesterday... I only wanted to wash his tail! Something I have done hundreds of times before. I didn't even get a drop of water on it before he was offskis! I don't tie him up I just loop the rope through the bailer twine. 4yo+ stuff that has lived outside on the fence ever since. There was a knot in the end of the rope. I couldn't believe it when he shot backwards and not only did the twine not break neither did the headcollar nor the lead rope! Instead I am missing a 6m long section of post and rail fence and my horses tail is still disgusting!!!
Don't let his innocent ears fool you! Big Bad Boris was WILD today!
Big Midnight winning at Ayr (I do own the pic in a frame at home)
Gray's tail is almost translucent when clean ... it is not clean! It has a wide winters worth of accumulated dirt in it right now!
The once was a fence here ... it got transported to the far side of the field by magic horse ...
Nothing eventful happened with my first lot so we will skip him. One of the lasses came back in on Rambo laughing though. Rambo is usually quite a lazy horse who doesn't really have any way of going he just muddles along. He was heading round the fields today as he runs tomorrow and she said as she crossed between 2 fields he just put his head between his knees and bronced! Now if other people hadn't have seen it we wouldn't have believed it as Rambo really doesn't expend any more energy than he has too ???
My 2nd lot was Big Bad Boris who was just trotting after running a cracking race to be 2nd at Hexham the other day. I kind of forget how well he ran as I was so gutted for Mulqueen, his jockey, he has to get 1 more winner to lose his claim completely and he really wanted to do it on Boris as he lost his 5lb claim on him. Turning up the hill he was 5l clear, 3l clear going over the last and if the ground hadn't have been so tacky he would have kept galloping all the way to the line. But instead he got a bit tired and got nabbed on the line in yet another photo finish! No dead heat this time, 2nd by half a head! Gutting! But anywho! Back to this morning and trotting. Boris is a good nanny and one of the young fillies that is just back in work is particularly fresh just now. So I dropped Boris back to trot with her and keep her company. Up the drive all fine and dandy. Across the top field, grand. Down the gallop not a bother. Start trotting up .and 10 yards later the filly EXPLODES! I thought the lad was a gonna! All I could see out the corner of my eye was him flying through the air! Next thing I knew Big Bad Boris was also flying through the air with a massive big fly leap come mid air buck! "You dirty barsteward!" I say to him incredulously before going into a fit of laughter! This did nothing to settle Boris! Oh no! As he landed he plunged forwards and shot off! 'Hehe hehe! Hold on tight mum! Wheeeeeeeee!' Boris giggled with a glint of mischief in his eye. I got him back together and thought (ha! Bad idea that one! One should not think when riding a racehorse one should just do!) I would steady him up to help the filly again who was throwing a tantrum at being left behind. Boris had got his freshness out of his system (or so I thought ...) and settled back into a quiet jog to let the filly catch up. At this point I am still laughing at what Big Bad Boris did. As the filly gets near us she bucks again leaps again. "Boris you absolute f***ing pleb! What the hell do you think you are doing!?!?!" I say through the laughter. 'Mum this is great fun! Boris goes bounce! Boris goes ping! Boris goes whoopeeeee! Hold on to your hats! Muahahahahahahahhahahahahhaaaaaaaa!' Boris leapt through the air, bucked mid air again, landed, plunged forward off the side of the gallop, decided he was going back onto the gallop but only made it as far as his front feet when he started broncing! "Boris!!! Get on the bloody gallop! Get your arse down off the ledge or your going to fall over!" I say as he starts properly bouncing sideways underneath me, back end a foot higher on the bank than his front end is - a very precarious position to be in! Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Boris plunged forwards and tanked off up the gallop to catch up with the others who were about 20 yards ahead. By this point I have NO control whatsoever as I am laughing so much! The lad on the filly is laughing, Scu is thoroughly enjoying the show as he was down at that section of the gallops with the dogs so got a front row seat to the whole thing! The best bit? None of the rest of the string had any idea what was going on behind them ?????
Once Boris had caught up with the rest he carried on trotting as though absolutely nothing had happened what so ever! What an absolute toad! Needless to say Big Bad Boris feel very well for himself after his run! When is the next one!?!?!?!?!?!
Over to the other yard and my first lot is Big Midnight. He hasn't done much since he won last Saturday as he needs a bit of extra down time after each run. We were just lobbing once up the gallop. Ha! It's Monday! Of course it was a lob ... As we set off up the road we get to the bit we normally trot at. Midnight half skips in front then plunges off up the road at a spanking trot! "Oi! Dickhead! Not necessary!" I say to him. 'What's that mum? Point my toes and give it my big luck trot that you can't rise to? OK! No probs! Hehehe!' He replies. Oh today just gets better and better ... as we turn into the gallop I have him on a loose rein as he normally just pops into a trot then into a nice rounded lob. Could we do that again!?! Of course we couldn't! Oh no! Midnight leaps, snatches and plunges into canter and shoots right up the backside of the horse in front. "Oh no you bloody well do not sunshine!" I say as I wrestle him into some resemblance of a shape. All is well until we get to the wee dip 3/4 way up. Midnight has always liked to have a bronc going through whilst changing legs and today was no exception. Heading back down he decided he was going to throw his head up and back at me and pull my arms out! He finally agreed to drop his head near the bottom but that was only so he could then snake it out towards to ground and tow me along! "Midnight your being an arse!" I say to him. I get a chuckle in response. Just after we got back out onto the road to walk home a lorry appeared so we all hopped into the field 10yards ahead to let it past as we had a couple that aren't great in traffic. Midnight doesn't care about it, he ignores all traffic no matter the size of speed of it. As we head back out onto the road do you think we could do this sensibly!?!?!?! Of course not! It's Monday! "You blithering great big idiot!" I screech at him as he fly leaps out onto the road, does a 90 degree turn then starts cantering down the road! "Would you come back here and stop being a moron! Incase you hadn't noticed I had no stirrups you muppet!" 'I know you didn't mum and that's what makes it funnier! Teeeeheeeee!' Was Midnight's answer to that! After that he did agree to walk home but he had to march up front. Fine. I don't care! He was walking!
My next lot was THEE most ANNOYING horse on the planet! The wee French thing, Vengeur. He nips and barks at everyone and everything when he's not spooking. At 12yo you would think he would know better! I normally get on fine with him but today was not one of those days! The girl who rode him on Saturday takes a right hold of everything's mouth and winds them up. Vengeur was no exception. I usually ride him off a long rein. Not today. Today he was absolutely sceptic! He wouldn't settle up nor down and by the time I got back to the yard I have never wanted to get off of a horse, slap it on the arse and send it on it's way by itself so much in y life before!
Last lot was a total wee Dude of a horse, Compo. He is short but stocky and a really sweet ride. He was almost on his better behaviour except for a minor broncing session half way up the gallop. That I don't mind. Doing it going down the way is a big no no though ???
I finished on a half day today as I need to fix the fence that GrayMo broke yesterday... I only wanted to wash his tail! Something I have done hundreds of times before. I didn't even get a drop of water on it before he was offskis! I don't tie him up I just loop the rope through the bailer twine. 4yo+ stuff that has lived outside on the fence ever since. There was a knot in the end of the rope. I couldn't believe it when he shot backwards and not only did the twine not break neither did the headcollar nor the lead rope! Instead I am missing a 6m long section of post and rail fence and my horses tail is still disgusting!!!
Don't let his innocent ears fool you! Big Bad Boris was WILD today!
Big Midnight winning at Ayr (I do own the pic in a frame at home)
Gray's tail is almost translucent when clean ... it is not clean! It has a wide winters worth of accumulated dirt in it right now!
The once was a fence here ... it got transported to the far side of the field by magic horse ...
