Elf On A Shelf
...
I will warn you now there aren't many horses involved in this one and there is a bit of childish insubordination... or a lot ... or well deserved cheek .. take your pick at the end!
Every Christmas I put on some form of Bah Humbug hat on top of my skully dome as I am not a fan of Christmas. A few years ago I had one of those big black santa hats with a huge white bobble on the end. This turned out to be not such a good idea! The big white bobble kept bopping me on the nose with every stride my horse took up the gallop so I had to pin it down in my goggles elastic. The following year I found this beauty in Asda:
It's just a normal bobble hat but it fit nicely over the skully dome and so it went on! And the big bobble didn't get in the way! Happy days! This was December 2019 ... and I never got round to changing it for a different hat silk and so it remained on until a few weeks ago.
Now here is where the "insert relevant description" comes in. The boss was in a bit of a bad mood and comes over, asks about the previous horse I rode then said "get rid of that hat cover, it's stupid" (we shall omit the swear word...) and so me being me I just smiled on the outside and in my head said "like hell am I going to change it now!" I mean I had been meaning to change it but I still hadn't quite found a hat silk I liked and so over a year later Bah Humbug was still in play.
Later that evening I dropped a horse off with the transporter that was going to stud. Text the boss that she was safely on her way and got back "Thanks for driving her, sorry about the hat cover comment earlier, keep wearing it!" Oh now that really got my back up! They never use ! And so me being me got right into my (insert relevant description) mode and went onto amazon ...
Roll on the following Monday and this little cracker comes out to play
Now in fairness when the boss saw it she did laugh and fully understood and appreciated exactly why I had done what I had done! You also can't not smile at that hat silk! It's awesome ??? It also gave everyone else a bit of a laugh too!
The next day I put on this little navy number to lull everyone into a false sense of security letting them believe I had made my point and that was that.??? Except the fluffy pom pom is orange... and little did I know the boss had dyed her hair and it was just about the same colour... ????? I called this one the Ziggy Stardust edition ???
Day 3 of my little childish game and Scu comes into the barn and asks loudly "so what have you got on your hat today then?! P*** off lvr written on the back of it?!" 'Sorry Scu, it's the same as yesterday' I reply. "You should get a (insert name of most disliked Scottish trainer here) hat silk, that would really annoy her!" Scu said. 'I'd like to keep my job thanks' I respond. Me thinks Scu is enjoying my little game a bit too much and probably more than I am ??
Day 4 and we go rainbow! I saw someone buy this in the shop in front of me the day before and went to see if there were any left - score! There were! And so I bought one! It felt very naked on my skully dome though as it had no bobble or pom pom. The boss saw it, laughed and patted it ??
The next few days saw the return of the navy/orange pom pom set up whilst I waited for the last 2 to arrive. I had planned on doing this for 5/6 in one week then calling it a day as the joke would be wearing thin by then.
Roll on the next Monday and this bad boy makes an appearance! Oh yes! It's a dragon! This one provided much hilarity in the yard as it was quite a bit OTT! And I almost got my comeuppance and Big Bad Boris thought he would try to test out how well tbe dragons wings worked in helping me fly to the ground! He didn't succeed though thankfully!
The rest of the week I was away racing and so my final masterpiece, the absolute best one yet and the last piece of the puzzle came out to play yesterday! I needed a dry day for it to make it's appearance and a dry day I got! I had managed to keep my hat mostly hidden all morning until I was tacking up when Hogarth spotted it. He was not a fan! Then the boss comes walking into the barn and so I grabbed the hat and hid it in Borris's stable. I didn't want her to see it until I was on my horse. But oh no! Hogarth had to go and open his big mouth didn't he! "Have you seen the latest hat thing?" He asked. 'No?' Replied the boss. And so I reluctantly had to bring it out of the stable early... booo! To be fair it did provide quite a bit of laughter thankfully!
Now there was one flaw in this plan ... when I got cantering I couldn't see a damned thing for fluff! Good job it was just Borris I was on cantering round the fields!
2nd lot out in it was just trotting Big Midnight after he won the other day. As we headed back up a second time the boss and Scu were trotting down the side. Scu looks over to lvr, chuckles then booms "Get that bloody hideous hat off your head!" Before almost falling off laughing! He really is enjoying the game a little too much ???
And so, without further adu here is the final hat cover. I think you will agree that I saved the best til last!
Every Christmas I put on some form of Bah Humbug hat on top of my skully dome as I am not a fan of Christmas. A few years ago I had one of those big black santa hats with a huge white bobble on the end. This turned out to be not such a good idea! The big white bobble kept bopping me on the nose with every stride my horse took up the gallop so I had to pin it down in my goggles elastic. The following year I found this beauty in Asda:
It's just a normal bobble hat but it fit nicely over the skully dome and so it went on! And the big bobble didn't get in the way! Happy days! This was December 2019 ... and I never got round to changing it for a different hat silk and so it remained on until a few weeks ago.
Now here is where the "insert relevant description" comes in. The boss was in a bit of a bad mood and comes over, asks about the previous horse I rode then said "get rid of that hat cover, it's stupid" (we shall omit the swear word...) and so me being me I just smiled on the outside and in my head said "like hell am I going to change it now!" I mean I had been meaning to change it but I still hadn't quite found a hat silk I liked and so over a year later Bah Humbug was still in play.
Later that evening I dropped a horse off with the transporter that was going to stud. Text the boss that she was safely on her way and got back "Thanks for driving her, sorry about the hat cover comment earlier, keep wearing it!" Oh now that really got my back up! They never use ! And so me being me got right into my (insert relevant description) mode and went onto amazon ...
Roll on the following Monday and this little cracker comes out to play
Now in fairness when the boss saw it she did laugh and fully understood and appreciated exactly why I had done what I had done! You also can't not smile at that hat silk! It's awesome ??? It also gave everyone else a bit of a laugh too!
The next day I put on this little navy number to lull everyone into a false sense of security letting them believe I had made my point and that was that.??? Except the fluffy pom pom is orange... and little did I know the boss had dyed her hair and it was just about the same colour... ????? I called this one the Ziggy Stardust edition ???
Day 3 of my little childish game and Scu comes into the barn and asks loudly "so what have you got on your hat today then?! P*** off lvr written on the back of it?!" 'Sorry Scu, it's the same as yesterday' I reply. "You should get a (insert name of most disliked Scottish trainer here) hat silk, that would really annoy her!" Scu said. 'I'd like to keep my job thanks' I respond. Me thinks Scu is enjoying my little game a bit too much and probably more than I am ??
Day 4 and we go rainbow! I saw someone buy this in the shop in front of me the day before and went to see if there were any left - score! There were! And so I bought one! It felt very naked on my skully dome though as it had no bobble or pom pom. The boss saw it, laughed and patted it ??
The next few days saw the return of the navy/orange pom pom set up whilst I waited for the last 2 to arrive. I had planned on doing this for 5/6 in one week then calling it a day as the joke would be wearing thin by then.
Roll on the next Monday and this bad boy makes an appearance! Oh yes! It's a dragon! This one provided much hilarity in the yard as it was quite a bit OTT! And I almost got my comeuppance and Big Bad Boris thought he would try to test out how well tbe dragons wings worked in helping me fly to the ground! He didn't succeed though thankfully!
The rest of the week I was away racing and so my final masterpiece, the absolute best one yet and the last piece of the puzzle came out to play yesterday! I needed a dry day for it to make it's appearance and a dry day I got! I had managed to keep my hat mostly hidden all morning until I was tacking up when Hogarth spotted it. He was not a fan! Then the boss comes walking into the barn and so I grabbed the hat and hid it in Borris's stable. I didn't want her to see it until I was on my horse. But oh no! Hogarth had to go and open his big mouth didn't he! "Have you seen the latest hat thing?" He asked. 'No?' Replied the boss. And so I reluctantly had to bring it out of the stable early... booo! To be fair it did provide quite a bit of laughter thankfully!
Now there was one flaw in this plan ... when I got cantering I couldn't see a damned thing for fluff! Good job it was just Borris I was on cantering round the fields!
2nd lot out in it was just trotting Big Midnight after he won the other day. As we headed back up a second time the boss and Scu were trotting down the side. Scu looks over to lvr, chuckles then booms "Get that bloody hideous hat off your head!" Before almost falling off laughing! He really is enjoying the game a little too much ???
And so, without further adu here is the final hat cover. I think you will agree that I saved the best til last!
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