Elf On A Shelf
...
The sky looked a bit ominous. I couldn't decide if it was going to rain or not. Ah well, we had some mucking out to do first so I had 1/2hour or so to decide what clotges to wear. My boots were still soggy from yesterday so at least I had the foresight to dig out my waterproof socks this morning. Honestly this new format of coming in at 7am is grand for now whilst there are only about 25 horses to muck out but you get slackers who are sooooooo sloooooooooowwww at mucking out you end up begrudging doing it! Take this morning for instance, I had mucked out 4 boxes in the time it took one of the kids to do 1.5! I know they go slow so they have to do less as we all just bash on until it's all done, you don't have set boxes to do. I ver nearly said something to him about it but thought better of it. I have to spend 14 hours with him tomorrow away racing and the last thing I can be bothered with is a stroppy 16yo boy!
My first lot was Doccy Woccy Doo Daa! He is such a cool horse but he runs very much on his nerves every day. Trotting round the fields he was trying to find things to spook ar. 1st time up the gallop he relaxed as little but was still tense. "OI YOU LITTLE F***ER!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR! GET ON WITH YOU YOU NAPPY LITTLE SH1T!!!!" I roared at him! The bugger napped at the gate! He has never napped before and I doubt he will try it again with me after being roared at! 2nd time up he was nicely keen in the hand but getting a little on edge again when Ozzle Pozzle joined him.
My 2nd lot was my wee Sesame Street pony! He runs tomorrow so it was a spin round the fields for him today. Tacking up and waling out he is an absolute donkey! I mean you have to drag him off the walker, drag him to the mounting block and then keep shimmeying him to keep up with the others. Once you go up the gears he is another horse entirely! We trotted round one field properly flicking the toes, head in the air just waiting to find an excuse to spook! 3 of us split from the main group to canter - HA! Canter! Round another couple of fields as a bit of a yeehaa before they run. And a yeehaa it was! Sig & Blair set off like rockets so of course Elmo had to follow hot on his heels! I managed to bring Elmo back 5l so they didn't catch each others eyes and start to race. Fook knows where the other horse was! Eating our mud clods I think! As we got to the end of the riverbank we should have had a sweeping left bend, up a hill, down one then across the crossing and up the mares fiels. Well! It might have been a sweeping bend to someone doing a sedate canter but to Elmo and I? "Please don't slip! Please don't slip!" Was all I could pray whilst the G force was taking hold! We flew fown the hill, jumped the crossing and cannoned up the next hill! Elmo was having an absolute ball! "Weeeeeeeee! Come on mum! We can go proper zoomies here! Neeeeeeeooooooowwwwwwwwww!!!" Elmo said.
"Right Elmo! We need to pull up now!"
"But I'm having sooooo much fun!" He protested.
"I know but we are done now and I am fed up of eating your ears!"
"Ooookkkkk! Fine! But we are bouncing back in like the ginger Tigger I am!"
Needless to say I think he is feeling very well for himself!
Bouncy Tigger pony!
My 3rd lot was Big Midnight with the emphasise on BIG! He has just come back from his owners where he has been on holiday and I think it's safe to say he would not look out of place in a Lightweight Hunter show class! He was trotting by himself at the end so he got his big bounce trot on. You can't rise to it, you literally get flung out of the saddle!
I promise he was standing sensibly when I clicked the button!
My final lot at yard 1 was the old codger Kez leading out the breaker so that was a bit of trotting and lobbing round one of the fields. Kez is 21/22yo, has no top front teeth due to years of cribbing and I really don't like him! I didn't like him 16 years ago as a racehorse and I still don't like him now. Some horses you just don't like nor get on with. Like my next horse over at yard 2. Happy Harry.
Happy Harry likes to jog. Happy Harry likes to be annoying. Happy Harry likes tk try to tow you down the gallops. I don't like Happy Harry. I like him even less when my pants are sitting in really the wrong place for jogging horses!
My last lot of the day waa the ever lovely Henry. You can't not like Henry! He is so sweet and lovely to ride!
This week we have had a couple of work experience girls in. They are joined at the hip! Honestly! They grab a side each of a water bucker and trundle off with it even though it is only half full and easily carried by one person! The -ek hem- larger of the 2 girls got to trot a couple of horses on her last day as she kept banging on about how good a rider she was. Well you can all imagine how that turned out! So she tacked up horse 1. Climbed up the mounting block, slid on .... and kept on sliding til she thudded to the ground on the other side of the horse! The horse just stood there looking at her with his saddle under his belly. Well that was a good start! Not! She then managed to get on and stay on to trot him. Her next one was again just trotting. "If it starts cantering stand up off of it's back before you hurt it" I shout at her in passing as the horse had hopped into a slow lob and she was bouncing up and down on it's back. She had survived trotting that one ... or so we thought .... she had pulled up to walk to turn to come in and the horse turned a fraction sharply, knowing it was headed in. This would not perturb most people and we wouldn't even notice he had done it. But alas, not this lass. So for the 2nd time in an hour she went splat out the side door and landed at Scu's feer who had owners with him. The horses didn't stick around and trotted off back to the barn. So much for being a good rider! If this is what the youth of today is like equestrianism is screwed!
Tomorrow I am off to Cartmel for the final time this season. It's weird not having the funfair or the BBQ smoke or the throngs of people or even any atmosphere! Cartmel is always absolutely teeming with life on a normal race day. But we are not living in normal times and crowds are still currently unable to go racing. I do whole heartedly agree with this btw for the time being.
A very bizarre Cartmel!
My first lot was Doccy Woccy Doo Daa! He is such a cool horse but he runs very much on his nerves every day. Trotting round the fields he was trying to find things to spook ar. 1st time up the gallop he relaxed as little but was still tense. "OI YOU LITTLE F***ER!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR! GET ON WITH YOU YOU NAPPY LITTLE SH1T!!!!" I roared at him! The bugger napped at the gate! He has never napped before and I doubt he will try it again with me after being roared at! 2nd time up he was nicely keen in the hand but getting a little on edge again when Ozzle Pozzle joined him.
My 2nd lot was my wee Sesame Street pony! He runs tomorrow so it was a spin round the fields for him today. Tacking up and waling out he is an absolute donkey! I mean you have to drag him off the walker, drag him to the mounting block and then keep shimmeying him to keep up with the others. Once you go up the gears he is another horse entirely! We trotted round one field properly flicking the toes, head in the air just waiting to find an excuse to spook! 3 of us split from the main group to canter - HA! Canter! Round another couple of fields as a bit of a yeehaa before they run. And a yeehaa it was! Sig & Blair set off like rockets so of course Elmo had to follow hot on his heels! I managed to bring Elmo back 5l so they didn't catch each others eyes and start to race. Fook knows where the other horse was! Eating our mud clods I think! As we got to the end of the riverbank we should have had a sweeping left bend, up a hill, down one then across the crossing and up the mares fiels. Well! It might have been a sweeping bend to someone doing a sedate canter but to Elmo and I? "Please don't slip! Please don't slip!" Was all I could pray whilst the G force was taking hold! We flew fown the hill, jumped the crossing and cannoned up the next hill! Elmo was having an absolute ball! "Weeeeeeeee! Come on mum! We can go proper zoomies here! Neeeeeeeooooooowwwwwwwwww!!!" Elmo said.
"Right Elmo! We need to pull up now!"
"But I'm having sooooo much fun!" He protested.
"I know but we are done now and I am fed up of eating your ears!"
"Ooookkkkk! Fine! But we are bouncing back in like the ginger Tigger I am!"
Needless to say I think he is feeling very well for himself!
Bouncy Tigger pony!
My 3rd lot was Big Midnight with the emphasise on BIG! He has just come back from his owners where he has been on holiday and I think it's safe to say he would not look out of place in a Lightweight Hunter show class! He was trotting by himself at the end so he got his big bounce trot on. You can't rise to it, you literally get flung out of the saddle!
I promise he was standing sensibly when I clicked the button!
My final lot at yard 1 was the old codger Kez leading out the breaker so that was a bit of trotting and lobbing round one of the fields. Kez is 21/22yo, has no top front teeth due to years of cribbing and I really don't like him! I didn't like him 16 years ago as a racehorse and I still don't like him now. Some horses you just don't like nor get on with. Like my next horse over at yard 2. Happy Harry.
Happy Harry likes to jog. Happy Harry likes to be annoying. Happy Harry likes tk try to tow you down the gallops. I don't like Happy Harry. I like him even less when my pants are sitting in really the wrong place for jogging horses!
My last lot of the day waa the ever lovely Henry. You can't not like Henry! He is so sweet and lovely to ride!
This week we have had a couple of work experience girls in. They are joined at the hip! Honestly! They grab a side each of a water bucker and trundle off with it even though it is only half full and easily carried by one person! The -ek hem- larger of the 2 girls got to trot a couple of horses on her last day as she kept banging on about how good a rider she was. Well you can all imagine how that turned out! So she tacked up horse 1. Climbed up the mounting block, slid on .... and kept on sliding til she thudded to the ground on the other side of the horse! The horse just stood there looking at her with his saddle under his belly. Well that was a good start! Not! She then managed to get on and stay on to trot him. Her next one was again just trotting. "If it starts cantering stand up off of it's back before you hurt it" I shout at her in passing as the horse had hopped into a slow lob and she was bouncing up and down on it's back. She had survived trotting that one ... or so we thought .... she had pulled up to walk to turn to come in and the horse turned a fraction sharply, knowing it was headed in. This would not perturb most people and we wouldn't even notice he had done it. But alas, not this lass. So for the 2nd time in an hour she went splat out the side door and landed at Scu's feer who had owners with him. The horses didn't stick around and trotted off back to the barn. So much for being a good rider! If this is what the youth of today is like equestrianism is screwed!
Tomorrow I am off to Cartmel for the final time this season. It's weird not having the funfair or the BBQ smoke or the throngs of people or even any atmosphere! Cartmel is always absolutely teeming with life on a normal race day. But we are not living in normal times and crowds are still currently unable to go racing. I do whole heartedly agree with this btw for the time being.
A very bizarre Cartmel!
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