A 'gift horse' dilemma..what do I do?!!!

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BBP

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I have just been offered a gift horse, or essentially a gift, in that the owner has offered me a massive discount off his sale price because she desperately wants him to go to a loving forever home and she likes how I am with my horses. She also knows I adore the horse. I have been to her yard a few times and each time I am there I am utterly bewitched by this horse, he is stunning with the most beautiful eyes and loving personality. But I have only ever seen him over his stable door. I have never seen him ridden or even handled really.

He is way out of my league, a dressage horse with so many buttons I wouldn't know what I was pressing, canter piroettes etc are easy for him apparently. He is also a big lad (no idea how tall but big). I do know he lives on fresh air and has a tendency to obesity, but he has hardly been worked since I met him (they bought him to do stunt work with but he is apparently too sensitive and therefore not suitable, and they haven't had any time to put into working him so he has been a big pet for nearly 2 years really).

If I didn't already have my boy I would literally snap her hand off at an offer of a horse like this. But I don't need another horse! My pony is stressful enough and this is the year I want to get him going. I don't have time for another without making mine feel left out. Our little lorry couldn't take the big lad and my pony as it would be over weight. I don't know if he jumps or hacks or anything...why am I even thinking about it? Its just he is so utterly gorgeous! Even my boyfriend loves him, and he isn't really a horsey person.

No purpose to this post, just can't stop thinking about his lovely face!
 
I would say many thanks for the offer, but no thanks - and walk away.

A horse is not 'not worked' for two years due to time..........
 
I'd walk away too. If you haven't got the time to do justice to two horses then you'd be spreading yourself too thinly. Concentrate on the plans you have for your own horse.
If this horse is as good as you say, he will find a good home with someone else.
 
From what you say in your post I would say thank you but no thank you.

I have had 2 horses in the past and it just doesn’t suit me. I feel as if I do everything with half the effort as I have double to do (if that makes sense). I know it wouldn’t suit my boy either as he likes my undivided attention at all times and as far as he is concerned I am not for sharing. :)
 
amymay said:
A horse is not 'not worked' for two years due to time..........
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Not true, I know quite a few who haven't.

Difficult one, but if you really don't want (have time/money/whatever for) another horse there is really only one answer.. It is difficult when there is 'something' about them though, isn't it? ;)
 
I think that is what my heart is saying, my horse is too precious to mess it all up by trying to do too much. If I didn't have him I would take the other like a shot (I think he is back doing dressage again now as the yard owner couldn't stand seeing him do nothing). I am trying to find a friend who might like him instead. Its so easy to get swept up by emotions, I don't think ive ever met a horse as loving and affectionate as this one.
 
The trouble is, you won't have time to cuddle him as you'll be running arounds like a demented idiot looking after 2!

I find it difficult to understand why people choose to have to many horses and rarely ride, compete or even groom, just because they are overstretched and don't have the time or money?

It's better to have the one and enjoy each other totally, don't you think?

Shame though and I feel your pain.
 
Can you afford two? If so, go for it! I've got 8 (yes thats 8!) and I love them all. Lots of old retired ponies, but none of them suffer for having to share me :)

Sorry, going against the trend here but what the hell, you are obviously tempted or you wouldn't post on here, so follow your heart if you can afford it, and you will find the time.
 
I have two albeit one is semiretired. I would put all the figures down in black and white to work out money, including the cost of changing the lorry. That is before I even thought about taking him on! If I could afford him without being on the line all the time, then I would look more seriously but NOT until I really knew I could afford him without being in a position where I was really struggling and starting to resent my horses. I have had two and even three in full work with a full time job and it worked as there are a lot of jobs you double up on. I would also look very carefully to ensure I was buying a sound horse and not a field companion though....
 
I could afford it right now, and i do have space. It's just having time to do both justice. I am trying to formulate a cunning plan with a girl I know who would love to have a horse that she might take him on, at least then i'd know he was in a great home.
 
I'd be inclined to ride him a few times and see how you get on. he can't be that bad if someone else is riding him now. If you can afford it, really like him and won't be spreading yourself too thin then go for it.

The only other thing to say is how will you feel a year or so down the line if you don't at least seriously consider the possibility?
 
amymay said:
A horse is not 'not worked' for two years due to time..........
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Not true at all, one of mine was backed late and then due to some personal stuff and illness he was left for nearly 2 years unridden, it was no fault on his part that stopped me riding him!

Elsbells said:
The trouble is, you won't have time to cuddle him as you'll be running arounds like a demented idiot looking after 2!

I find it difficult to understand why people choose to have to many horses and rarely ride, compete or even groom, just because they are overstretched and don't have the time or money?

It's better to have the one and enjoy each other totally, don't you think?

Shame though and I feel your pain.
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I have 5 and don't agree with this at all;), i don't compete because it doesn't interest me, i ride as much or as little as i please and i certainly don't feel overstretched. 2 of mine are my daughters ponies so i don't ride them but i am responsible for their care. one thing i have done though is get a sharer, not because i am stuck for time or money but because i appreciate the fact that not every horse mad teen can have their own horse and i am damn lucky to have mine (2 were gifted to me!) and i like to offer someone else the opportunity to enjoy them as much as i do.
Perhaps that is the answer for you OP, if you really feel there is something about this horse then take him on and find someone to share him with;)
 
showingmadfilly said:
It's your choice but I agree with rhino it's not true about horses having time off. I know plenty of horses stuck in fields perfectly sound but owner has no time.
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Yes, sorry I should have qualified my statement.

I suspect in this particular case there is more than meets the eye....
 
I would really cautious about taking on a large senestive warm blood that has not been worked for two years unless you are used to Working with that sort of problem horse.
If you do decide to try I would advise that you aggree an eight week trial at the end of which you can return him if you Not happy.
 
Honestly, if your worried about time etc, I'd say no.
I love both of my girls but there are often times, I wish I just had one as I struggle to give both of them the time that they deserve, and sometimes, actually need.
Caring wise etc it isn't much more time but trying to work both of them is a challenge.
 
Goldenstar said:
I would really cautious about taking on a large senestive warm blood that has not been worked for two years unless you are used to Working with that sort of problem horse.
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But there was nothing in the OP to say he was a problem horse, just that he was too sensitive to be suitable for stunt work (which I think could be said of the vast majority of horses) :confused: He may well have issues but equally he may be fine :)
 
I agree that you need to ride the horse a few times and get a bit more info about him before you decide. Then if you do turn him down - you will know that you thought about it properly and wont have regrets.

I found that going from one to two horses wasn't a big deal. Neither was two to three, or indeed three to four! ;)
 
At the very least you should go ride him. If he has a lot of buttons you may find it tough to communicate with him effectively and that may take the shine off the idea of having him. If you love him...well you'd be in trouble then!!! :)
 
I don't usually respond to these sort of posts, but from an outsiders point of view, I think it would be best to walk away.

It sounds like they really have been stuck with an unsuitable horse and the fact you have shown interest, then they think it may be an easy way of finding him a nice (but possibly unsuitable) home. :rolleyes:

You have answered it yourself, as you say you want to work with your Pony this year :)

If he really is a Pony then nothing beats a Pony, in my opinion :D

Say thank you, but no thanks.
 
Go for it,I've got 5, ages range from 17-11 months,each have their own time, as you make time and horses are very willing to accomodate you, I'm 63 and they are all in my 10 year plan of what I want to do.:D:D:D
 
All great, if totally opposing, points of view! I keep finding myself agreeing with each one of you in turn! My pony is the best, and is the centre of my world (yes, a real pony!). But I do have a friend who would be a great sharer and would love a horse like him, so I can't help but mull over the what ifs if I bought him and she shared him with me. He might teach me an awful lot as a rider that I could use with my young lad.

Perhaps the best plan of action is to find the flaws, so start with the actual asking price, even with a massive discount he could be well out of my price range, and I couldn't in good concience leave her so far out of pocket. After that, have a ride on him (and with potential sharer) (they have said I am welcome to go and ride him any time even if I don't want to buy him), and if there is no click then that is that. If we click and I remember how much I like him...then yes, I am in trouble!
 
Would they be open to loan with view to buy? give you a chance to see if he is what you think and if you can cope with 2.
If they really want a good long term home it would be a good option and you would know if they were just trying to dump a problem horse.
 
I have 2! Working them isn't that tricky as I ride one, lunge the other one day, then swap the next. Fortunately I have 3 days where I have plenty of time so they get lunged x 2, schooled x 2 and hacked x 1 every week.
A full muckout/haynets/water/feeds and b/i took an hour...
 
bikerchickone said:
I'd be inclined to ride him a few times and see how you get on. he can't be that bad if someone else is riding him now. If you can afford it, really like him and won't be spreading yourself too thin then go for it.

The only other thing to say is how will you feel a year or so down the line if you don't at least seriously consider the possibility?
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This ^^ :)
 
KatPT said:
He might teach me an awful lot as a rider that I could use with my young lad.

Perhaps the best plan of action is to find the flaws
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These two sentences say it all for me.

Find out everything, try him and then make an informed decision to walk away. Don't just go away with maybes.

I am lucky enough that I have full access to my friends pony as well as owning a 16hh TB. The differences between the two are fantastic for my riding and constant learning.

You may get on him and have an instant no. If you don't try though you will always be wondering...
 
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