PROGROOM
New User
Hi All,
Well where do I start... I have been a Head Groom/Yard Manager professionally for many many years, starting locally at a professionals yard from the age of 14 and working my way up from there... i was made redundant in 2021, unfortunately we lost the owner with her battle with cancer and the yard was sold by her family which is what she asked them to do... anyway.... so off i went to search for another vacancy, as hard as it was as obviously i had been at one place my whole working life, that wasn't the problem really the next bit was... so job opportunities came along and i felt lucky that i had a good pick of what i had available to me, alot of people were impressed that i had been in one place so long, and others were like why would you do that! either way i don't mind, I'm not a young person so i don't mind the questions, i settled finally at a yard where everything seemed nice, probably to nice looking back is a great thing. It was a private family yard with about 10 horses on it ranging from their kids (whom are now in their 20's) ponies, through to some adult horses and one youngster.
I started there as a yard manager and head groom, and indeed it was or seemed a nice place to work. I went through a specialist employment agency for this job. I am a qualified person, with a HND in sports and performance horse management and training, and a whole host of other qualifications all horse specific. I was on my own in the yard one day and went to bring the ponies in (there is 5 of them) and they are all in split fields one behind the other so it takes a while to empty the whole lot back out... turnout seems to be so easy sometimes! on bringing the ponies in i had no issues with anything or see anything that would warrant a panic etc... then on grooming and picking feet out no issues, i put all of the ponies away in their boxes and started to mix lunch time feeds... suddenly my long suffering partner who is actually quite horsey now (1 to me) came running out to the feed area where i was mixing them all up and said there is a pony down, i went running in to the indoor stabling and the pony was indeed down and seriously down, i knew at this point that it was serious, laboured breathing, sweating badly.... oh what !!
I told my partner to run and get someone quick from the main family house who could help me as i was already on the phone to the vets as fast as could be! the lady who owned the house etc etc etc came running into the barn, and saw the horse (at this point im already on the phone to the vet still who was now on her car phone and talking me through things as she was driving)
the person who owned everything, then started to play the blame game! why wasn't all of the ponies brought in at the same time?? if you got them all at the same time (all 5) this would not have happened! this is your fault! you killed my horse! oh you best believe it i got the lot!! I understand that she was upset that the pony had got this way! but i can assure everyone this was not my fault in anyway! shape or form! everything was done exactly the same!
I didn't say anything back for this time, rang the vet back and just said please get here now! i was outside the yard area at this point and said to the vet.... you have a major problem on your hands when you do firstly you have the horse and secondly you have the twat that owns it!!! with this i heard the vet sigh deeply... she had her own reservations about this owner for a while, she then told me on the phone how old this horse was, how ill it actually was and it turns out he was 36 years old, and had serious health issues (explains the medications for all sorts) the vet remarked that she's surprised that it had gone on this long and she then said it was going to happen sooner or later!
i stayed around being yelled at and sworn at and frankly realised that my temper was getting the better of me as i could feel myself bubbling over inside ( never a good thing) as i am then at this point normally going to literally go mental and shout back or worse still hit out!!! didn't do either (another 1 to me)
The vet finally arrived and came in at which point, i had really heard enough about how bad i was at my job etc etc.... i realised that i actually didnt have to listen to this rubbish anymore.... i had done my bit trying to keep this horse calm and chilled despite it being in quite a bit of pain my duty was to the horse and to keep him as comfy as i could and as calm as i could..... at this point i looked at this owner straight in her face with anger streaming out of my eye balls like lasers and said "we are done" i then walked straight out of the yard, moved out of the house and never spoke to her again!! unfortunately the horse did pass away that day, the vet phoned me in the evening, saying that it was not my fault and that after this situation she has taken this woman off her books forever! she also said she couldn't believe what was coming out of the owners mouth... the vet commended me on my professional conduct, and indeed she also told me that she would of hit out if it was her she admitted that she could not have done what i did...
and on that note i also left the equine industry.... never to return... that still to this day plagues me so much, i have nursed alot of horses in my time, have trained alot in dressage and jumping up to and including fei levels, it upset me so deeply, because i hadn't actually done anything! and now i have anxiety, trust issues, issues that i never had before with people, if someone told me i had to manage a yard of horses now i would literally lock myself in the car, would walk away, it has affected me that much i cant tell you! i love horses and always have, i cant even bare to think of buying one for myself on DIY livery! the mental health it has really surfaced has really now affected me so badly that i haven't been on or near another horse since!
the anxiety is particularly bad..... i saw some horses in a field the other day when i was walking my dog and one of them came over from the field and really probably to see the dog and he put his head over the fence... my dog being the wettest Doberman in history watched from her distance as per always, i stroked his head, and then had this thought.....
Anger really took over, all the way home i was going through arguments in my head, this woman with her foul nutty mouth has stripped me of my whole career, has taken everything i know, has affected my mental health beyond belief, has hurt me so deeply i cant put it into words, has affected everything about me and my personality for nearly a year coming up now, and for what because she wanted someone to blame, for a horse that passed away which was no fault of mine.... (i cant put what wording i would like to use here i think its against the rules) but if i ever come across her in life ever again i can assure you im sure i will be really really repaying of the favour..... even now as i sit and type this i feel empty that an amazing career that i once had with horses that i adored and that changed my life, i don't have anymore because someone else's actions!
alot of people (friends) said to me to not let her get to you, or told me i should have done other things before leaving! either way it hasn't made me feel better about anything at all..... i hope one day that i will have the courage to be able to return to the horse world before its to late! im 38 now so have some years left in me.........
what this has made me realise is no matter what happens in life, don't hit on someone else's mental wellbeing, words have far reaching actions, and can damage a person inside and out....!
what does everyone else think!
Well where do I start... I have been a Head Groom/Yard Manager professionally for many many years, starting locally at a professionals yard from the age of 14 and working my way up from there... i was made redundant in 2021, unfortunately we lost the owner with her battle with cancer and the yard was sold by her family which is what she asked them to do... anyway.... so off i went to search for another vacancy, as hard as it was as obviously i had been at one place my whole working life, that wasn't the problem really the next bit was... so job opportunities came along and i felt lucky that i had a good pick of what i had available to me, alot of people were impressed that i had been in one place so long, and others were like why would you do that! either way i don't mind, I'm not a young person so i don't mind the questions, i settled finally at a yard where everything seemed nice, probably to nice looking back is a great thing. It was a private family yard with about 10 horses on it ranging from their kids (whom are now in their 20's) ponies, through to some adult horses and one youngster.
I started there as a yard manager and head groom, and indeed it was or seemed a nice place to work. I went through a specialist employment agency for this job. I am a qualified person, with a HND in sports and performance horse management and training, and a whole host of other qualifications all horse specific. I was on my own in the yard one day and went to bring the ponies in (there is 5 of them) and they are all in split fields one behind the other so it takes a while to empty the whole lot back out... turnout seems to be so easy sometimes! on bringing the ponies in i had no issues with anything or see anything that would warrant a panic etc... then on grooming and picking feet out no issues, i put all of the ponies away in their boxes and started to mix lunch time feeds... suddenly my long suffering partner who is actually quite horsey now (1 to me) came running out to the feed area where i was mixing them all up and said there is a pony down, i went running in to the indoor stabling and the pony was indeed down and seriously down, i knew at this point that it was serious, laboured breathing, sweating badly.... oh what !!
I told my partner to run and get someone quick from the main family house who could help me as i was already on the phone to the vets as fast as could be! the lady who owned the house etc etc etc came running into the barn, and saw the horse (at this point im already on the phone to the vet still who was now on her car phone and talking me through things as she was driving)
the person who owned everything, then started to play the blame game! why wasn't all of the ponies brought in at the same time?? if you got them all at the same time (all 5) this would not have happened! this is your fault! you killed my horse! oh you best believe it i got the lot!! I understand that she was upset that the pony had got this way! but i can assure everyone this was not my fault in anyway! shape or form! everything was done exactly the same!
I didn't say anything back for this time, rang the vet back and just said please get here now! i was outside the yard area at this point and said to the vet.... you have a major problem on your hands when you do firstly you have the horse and secondly you have the twat that owns it!!! with this i heard the vet sigh deeply... she had her own reservations about this owner for a while, she then told me on the phone how old this horse was, how ill it actually was and it turns out he was 36 years old, and had serious health issues (explains the medications for all sorts) the vet remarked that she's surprised that it had gone on this long and she then said it was going to happen sooner or later!
i stayed around being yelled at and sworn at and frankly realised that my temper was getting the better of me as i could feel myself bubbling over inside ( never a good thing) as i am then at this point normally going to literally go mental and shout back or worse still hit out!!! didn't do either (another 1 to me)
The vet finally arrived and came in at which point, i had really heard enough about how bad i was at my job etc etc.... i realised that i actually didnt have to listen to this rubbish anymore.... i had done my bit trying to keep this horse calm and chilled despite it being in quite a bit of pain my duty was to the horse and to keep him as comfy as i could and as calm as i could..... at this point i looked at this owner straight in her face with anger streaming out of my eye balls like lasers and said "we are done" i then walked straight out of the yard, moved out of the house and never spoke to her again!! unfortunately the horse did pass away that day, the vet phoned me in the evening, saying that it was not my fault and that after this situation she has taken this woman off her books forever! she also said she couldn't believe what was coming out of the owners mouth... the vet commended me on my professional conduct, and indeed she also told me that she would of hit out if it was her she admitted that she could not have done what i did...
and on that note i also left the equine industry.... never to return... that still to this day plagues me so much, i have nursed alot of horses in my time, have trained alot in dressage and jumping up to and including fei levels, it upset me so deeply, because i hadn't actually done anything! and now i have anxiety, trust issues, issues that i never had before with people, if someone told me i had to manage a yard of horses now i would literally lock myself in the car, would walk away, it has affected me that much i cant tell you! i love horses and always have, i cant even bare to think of buying one for myself on DIY livery! the mental health it has really surfaced has really now affected me so badly that i haven't been on or near another horse since!
the anxiety is particularly bad..... i saw some horses in a field the other day when i was walking my dog and one of them came over from the field and really probably to see the dog and he put his head over the fence... my dog being the wettest Doberman in history watched from her distance as per always, i stroked his head, and then had this thought.....
Anger really took over, all the way home i was going through arguments in my head, this woman with her foul nutty mouth has stripped me of my whole career, has taken everything i know, has affected my mental health beyond belief, has hurt me so deeply i cant put it into words, has affected everything about me and my personality for nearly a year coming up now, and for what because she wanted someone to blame, for a horse that passed away which was no fault of mine.... (i cant put what wording i would like to use here i think its against the rules) but if i ever come across her in life ever again i can assure you im sure i will be really really repaying of the favour..... even now as i sit and type this i feel empty that an amazing career that i once had with horses that i adored and that changed my life, i don't have anymore because someone else's actions!
alot of people (friends) said to me to not let her get to you, or told me i should have done other things before leaving! either way it hasn't made me feel better about anything at all..... i hope one day that i will have the courage to be able to return to the horse world before its to late! im 38 now so have some years left in me.........
what this has made me realise is no matter what happens in life, don't hit on someone else's mental wellbeing, words have far reaching actions, and can damage a person inside and out....!
what does everyone else think!
