A little advice... again...

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Serianas

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Here goes (please bear with the long post)

I am really struggling at the moment to find motivation to ride. I have just switched jobs into something I really love but its so damned tiring. I have mental health issues as I have mentioned before and I am finding it hard atm. My wonderful MHN has upped my tablets and I know they don't kick in right away so I'm trying to be patient.

My thing is I have a wonderful pony that I waited an awfully long time for and I love completely. He needs a strong, determined rider and the moment I am feeling so insipid and pathetic that I cant be arsed with the fight. Don't get me wrong when he is going he is amazing and will try his heart out for you. Its just the getting him going, as he is lazy and after a thwack on the butt he will usually wake up. I am finding it so hard to give him that telling off though and I don't know why.

I did have confidence issues with him for the first year or so but then we started enjoying each other, competing and winning. Then this year rolled around and its been dire. I ended up on crutches after he threw me against a wall, though with no serious damage, and it wasn't his fault. He had pulled his back and he is so damned honest he wont react until it really hurts :(

He really is a fab pony, utterly bombproof and even if he is 'naughty' its nothing (if you get me). Its nothing I cant sit if he bucks and on the only occasion he spun with me it took about half an hour for him to face the other way... slowest spin ever lol

I hate feeling like this as I want to enjoy him again like we did before. I have an amazing instructor now and she listens to me. She says he is a good pony. Nothing truly bad has happened so I don't know why I'm struggling :(

If you got this far, thank you :) getting it all down makes me feel a little better.
 
So why ride? Turn him away for the winter, or if your yard is one where they have to be stabled, keep him as a pet. Years ago show jumpers had the winter off and hunters the summer, shoes off to rest feet as well - it did nothing but good, prolonged their working lives and de-stressed them. Then, when you are ready, get him back into work and go again.
 
You could try a part loan which would relieve you of your need to ride although you'd still be able to see him and ride if you wanted to!

You could ask any friends to ride him or hire someone to ride him every so often?

Hope all gets better :))
 
I know how hard it is dealing with mental health issues and horses, so sending you lots of supportive vibes. It's especially hard at this time of year with the darker nights, mud, bad weather and just general lack of time. I'd just say that don't pressure yourself to ride if you don't feel like it. Your pony won't mind! Would it be the worst thing to give him a few weeks off ridden work until you feel better? You could still spend time with him on the ground. Grooming and general pampering, in-hand work, lunging, going for walks... If you take the pressure off yourself to actually get on and ride, and just focus on enjoying your time with him, you might find that helps? If you want to ride, then you can try sticking to things that require less effort (for example, for me that might be walking round our short loop hack or just working in walk and halt) Hope you can find your mojo again soon, and don't beat yourself up for struggling, it happens to the best of us :)
 
JillA said:
So why ride? Turn him away for the winter, or if your yard is one where they have to be stabled, keep him as a pet.
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^^ This. Try not to beat yourself up - he will still be there ready and waiting when you are ready.

Or you could do a bit of groundwork now and again to keep you both occupied. I can't ride my mare much in winter due to lack of facilities and to be honest sometimes due to the fact that I'm too tired or it's too cold and I can't be bothered. When I feel like this I do a bit of groundwork with her (getting her to back up, stretch and move to pressure etc.) or take her for a graze in hand. Sometimes only for 10 minutes but it makes me feel a lot better and that I have achieved something.
 
OP this is a really easy one and you are far from alone so its all good news so cheer up ok :) There is no hard and fast rule that you must ride .. at any time of the year, especially in winter so take the pressure off yourself thinking you must ride and just enjoy having a great big fluffy pet to groom and fuss and maybe, if you feel like it, take for a walk or do a bit of in hand stuff with ... if you fancy it :)

Winter is a rotten time of the year to stay motivated and life is too short to beat yourself up about it SO DONT!

Best thing I ever did was giving myself a break and not riding in winter. I can only hack or ride in a neighbours school at weekends now due to the dark nights and I will be honest if it aint lovely weather, this boy aint riding and you know what I love it. Come spring I feel like its not been such a bad winter, I feel refreshed and usually cannot wait to get back in the saddle and start getting them fit again ready for a summer of clinics and competitions and lovely long hacks :)
 
JillA said:
So why ride? Turn him away for the winter, or if your yard is one where they have to be stabled, keep him as a pet. Years ago show jumpers had the winter off and hunters the summer, shoes off to rest feet as well - it did nothing but good, prolonged their working lives and de-stressed them. Then, when you are ready, get him back into work and go again.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^
this.
 
I’m going to go against the grain and say do ride. Ride him every day for a week. If at the end of that you feel the same then turn him away for the winter. Exercise is good for everyone’s mental health and horses more than anything are good for lifting your mood. But don’t pressure yourself. Just make a plan and see it though and see how you feel. Just my thoughts.
 
Winter is horrid anyway without dealing with everything else you have going on at the moment as well. I'd say that if he's one that you need to have the energy / be in the right frame of mind to get going properly then at the moment maybe only ride him on days when you know you have the time and the energy to get him going well. This should limit the no of rides that don't go so well which may help you feel that you're getting somewhere with him again and also may in turn help him go better if every time you do get on he knows he's going to have to work properly. On the days you don't feel up to riding I'm sure he'll be perfectly happy with a cuddle and a really good pamper session (unless he's like my grumpy animal that views being brushed as something to be begrudgingly tolerated rather than enjoyed!) or if you still want to do a bit of something with him you could always do some inhand work (either in the school or taking him for a walk) or lunging? You could even just turn him away for a few months whilst you get the rest of your life sorted and he'll still be there waiting when you're ready to do a bit more with him again.
 
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