WelshD
Well-Known Member
After my last report the general consensus was that the only way is up
Wrong. there is further down than down and we took a trip there yesterday
Rewind a week to last weekend and there were no shows for us due to my yearly BBQ party camping weekend for my friends at my place, a mechanically minded pal came and was interested in the rusty wreck on our drive. 'its got an MOT' I said patting the bonnet (I say patting it was more leaning on it to cover up the fact that the bonnet didn't quite shut) as if the possession of an MOT made the horsebox a luxury perfect vehicle. 'hmmm' he said non commitedly 'fire her up then' I held my breath as I turned the key hoping that he couldn't see my crossed fingers. The engine spluttered in to life (a kind of half life half smokers cough)
He frowned 'the engine is missing' he said. I rolled my eyes and smirked inwardly, now I don't know a lot about engines but I do know the horsebox has one, it was there when the recovery man booted it a week before
I close the bonnet. mechanically minded indeed! I suggest kindly that we go fire up the BBQ instead, maybe he could cope with that
Later I sneak to the loo and Google 'Engine Missing'
Apparently its a thing.
Anyway the MIA sports bra was obtained from the custody of the post office, found wanting and a second bra added over the top (thank you for the tip lead rein mums your secret is safe with me) and we were ready for our next assignment
I chose a nice show for our second outing, relaxed but well organised and 26 miles away. Going 26 miles in a 28 year old transit horsebox was certainly an experience, slight slopes that you wouldn't notice in a car are like a trek to base camp Everest with a changing down of gears to the extent you need some minus gears
After an hour we arrived, overshot the showground, drove five miles more, made a VERY sweary turn at a junction in the no-power -steering box and retraced our route back to the showground where the entrance was set at an impossible angle to the road which involved more swearing and a backing up of traffic back to the junction where I turned around five miles away
Pony was hyped up this time and quickly succeeded in ripping a tie ring from the side of the box and going on a gallivant to introduce himself to every pony in eyesight
Retrieved and tied up again he sulked and allowed the application of various sprays that the manufacturers promised would get him HOYS ready. They lied. In fact I think his winter coat grew in the space of ten minutes.
Fifteen minutes later we were standing in the ring with a fluttery blue rosette, pony posing proudly showing every bit of his good breeding. I always had faith in this pony, always knew he was top class. There was a PRODUCER at the show and everything (they were two rings away but that's a technicality) we did our lap of honour heads held high and caught our breath outside the ring. I was buzzing, thrilled. I mean to have him confirmed as the second Most Handsome Gelding on the show field was just incredible
Best mane and tail was next, apparently I had misunderstood the fundamental requirements for this and with his pulled mane pony didn't impress against the Gypsy cob that had a mane down to its knees but we gained a default rosette of fourth place. default rosette, a 'you paid your entry fee you may as well have it' rosette - if there is a more satisfying rosette I don't know what it is.
The Most Handsome Gelding had left the showground by the time the Judges Choice class started and being in possession of the second Most Handsome Gelding I thought we were a shoe-in and sure enough another second prize rosette took our total tally of rosettes for the day to three and our overall rosettes ever tally also to three
Pony was a superstar and was acting like an old hand by the last class
So what went wrong? I hear you ask. You have three rosettes and the second Most Handsome Gelding at the show, he behaved very well, what more could you want?
Things started to go downhill when the pony mucked around and slipped off the ramp on loading, cue mad waving of an almost certainly broken foreleg (according to him - Section B vet-pony) a check discovered a cut that was duly smothered in cream which stung like hell (or so the knee to my forehead told me)
Still it was a cheerful party of one (me) and a subdued and contemplating the prospect of having his front leg amputated at the neck pony that set off the 26 miles home
Twenty miles in to the journey the horsebox stopped in a live lane of a three lane 70mph road. Of course it did. why not?
We were sitting ducks on a very fast and scary road and I yelled shrilly and semi hysterically in to my phone for cones - 'we need lots of cones! orange ones! make us an encampment of cones and don't allow anyone within fifteen feet of us' I screamed clearly and coherently while the guy at the other end who was obviously used to lunatic women appealed for me to slow down and be calm
Some wonderful people arrived in a super 4x4 and towed us to safety at a service station where the nice Polish car wash men pushed us under a tree so the pony stayed cool, calmed me down and got me a drink and I awaited rescue. The man in the Landrover next to me cheerfully imparted that he had been waiting five hours for recovery. When his truck arrived I seriously considered hijacking it but understand that is frowned upon so left them unmolested and they set off for Surrey. After doing one of those Africa trips in his Landrover it was rather shaming that it didn't make it from the Midlands to Surrey but I digress...
This week's rescue driver was a nice chap, honestly these men are worth their weight in gold! no just slinging the box on the back of a recovery truck a la the AA that picked up the Landrover. No, this man produced a dazzling array of spanners, all shiny and all in their own little pockets on a roll that made me both relieved that he was organised but equally relieved not to be married to him at the same time and opening the bonnet with the dangling bit of twine that operates it he climbed in to the engine. He appeared some time later and got the box to burst in to life. If this box is a cat its pretty much used up all of its nine lives, they don't make them like they used to! (probably just as well to be honest)
'just stall it to stop it when you get home' he said quickly backing away before legging it back to his van
'sorry what?'
twenty minutes later and ten hours after we left home (and this is ten hours in two tight bras you must remember) we arrived home,coasted on to the driveway and stalled four feet from the two dogs who were sitting saucer eyed in the window
Pony had got under the breast bar and was snoozing with his head on the luton, he was encouraged to move and revealed cheerfully that he had managed to further cut his legs on the journey. deep joy.
Ten minutes later leaving the pony steeped in Intrasite gel I retraced my journey in the ultra reliable 'I wont let you down' Mitsubishi with its slick gearbox and super power steering and collected my husband from work
He took one look at my set face
'it broke down again didn't it?'
'I don't want to talk about it'
Wrong. there is further down than down and we took a trip there yesterday
Rewind a week to last weekend and there were no shows for us due to my yearly BBQ party camping weekend for my friends at my place, a mechanically minded pal came and was interested in the rusty wreck on our drive. 'its got an MOT' I said patting the bonnet (I say patting it was more leaning on it to cover up the fact that the bonnet didn't quite shut) as if the possession of an MOT made the horsebox a luxury perfect vehicle. 'hmmm' he said non commitedly 'fire her up then' I held my breath as I turned the key hoping that he couldn't see my crossed fingers. The engine spluttered in to life (a kind of half life half smokers cough)
He frowned 'the engine is missing' he said. I rolled my eyes and smirked inwardly, now I don't know a lot about engines but I do know the horsebox has one, it was there when the recovery man booted it a week before
I close the bonnet. mechanically minded indeed! I suggest kindly that we go fire up the BBQ instead, maybe he could cope with that
Later I sneak to the loo and Google 'Engine Missing'
Apparently its a thing.
Anyway the MIA sports bra was obtained from the custody of the post office, found wanting and a second bra added over the top (thank you for the tip lead rein mums your secret is safe with me) and we were ready for our next assignment
I chose a nice show for our second outing, relaxed but well organised and 26 miles away. Going 26 miles in a 28 year old transit horsebox was certainly an experience, slight slopes that you wouldn't notice in a car are like a trek to base camp Everest with a changing down of gears to the extent you need some minus gears
After an hour we arrived, overshot the showground, drove five miles more, made a VERY sweary turn at a junction in the no-power -steering box and retraced our route back to the showground where the entrance was set at an impossible angle to the road which involved more swearing and a backing up of traffic back to the junction where I turned around five miles away
Pony was hyped up this time and quickly succeeded in ripping a tie ring from the side of the box and going on a gallivant to introduce himself to every pony in eyesight
Retrieved and tied up again he sulked and allowed the application of various sprays that the manufacturers promised would get him HOYS ready. They lied. In fact I think his winter coat grew in the space of ten minutes.
Fifteen minutes later we were standing in the ring with a fluttery blue rosette, pony posing proudly showing every bit of his good breeding. I always had faith in this pony, always knew he was top class. There was a PRODUCER at the show and everything (they were two rings away but that's a technicality) we did our lap of honour heads held high and caught our breath outside the ring. I was buzzing, thrilled. I mean to have him confirmed as the second Most Handsome Gelding on the show field was just incredible
Best mane and tail was next, apparently I had misunderstood the fundamental requirements for this and with his pulled mane pony didn't impress against the Gypsy cob that had a mane down to its knees but we gained a default rosette of fourth place. default rosette, a 'you paid your entry fee you may as well have it' rosette - if there is a more satisfying rosette I don't know what it is.
The Most Handsome Gelding had left the showground by the time the Judges Choice class started and being in possession of the second Most Handsome Gelding I thought we were a shoe-in and sure enough another second prize rosette took our total tally of rosettes for the day to three and our overall rosettes ever tally also to three
Pony was a superstar and was acting like an old hand by the last class
So what went wrong? I hear you ask. You have three rosettes and the second Most Handsome Gelding at the show, he behaved very well, what more could you want?
Things started to go downhill when the pony mucked around and slipped off the ramp on loading, cue mad waving of an almost certainly broken foreleg (according to him - Section B vet-pony) a check discovered a cut that was duly smothered in cream which stung like hell (or so the knee to my forehead told me)
Still it was a cheerful party of one (me) and a subdued and contemplating the prospect of having his front leg amputated at the neck pony that set off the 26 miles home
Twenty miles in to the journey the horsebox stopped in a live lane of a three lane 70mph road. Of course it did. why not?
We were sitting ducks on a very fast and scary road and I yelled shrilly and semi hysterically in to my phone for cones - 'we need lots of cones! orange ones! make us an encampment of cones and don't allow anyone within fifteen feet of us' I screamed clearly and coherently while the guy at the other end who was obviously used to lunatic women appealed for me to slow down and be calm
Some wonderful people arrived in a super 4x4 and towed us to safety at a service station where the nice Polish car wash men pushed us under a tree so the pony stayed cool, calmed me down and got me a drink and I awaited rescue. The man in the Landrover next to me cheerfully imparted that he had been waiting five hours for recovery. When his truck arrived I seriously considered hijacking it but understand that is frowned upon so left them unmolested and they set off for Surrey. After doing one of those Africa trips in his Landrover it was rather shaming that it didn't make it from the Midlands to Surrey but I digress...
This week's rescue driver was a nice chap, honestly these men are worth their weight in gold! no just slinging the box on the back of a recovery truck a la the AA that picked up the Landrover. No, this man produced a dazzling array of spanners, all shiny and all in their own little pockets on a roll that made me both relieved that he was organised but equally relieved not to be married to him at the same time and opening the bonnet with the dangling bit of twine that operates it he climbed in to the engine. He appeared some time later and got the box to burst in to life. If this box is a cat its pretty much used up all of its nine lives, they don't make them like they used to! (probably just as well to be honest)
'just stall it to stop it when you get home' he said quickly backing away before legging it back to his van
'sorry what?'
twenty minutes later and ten hours after we left home (and this is ten hours in two tight bras you must remember) we arrived home,coasted on to the driveway and stalled four feet from the two dogs who were sitting saucer eyed in the window
Pony had got under the breast bar and was snoozing with his head on the luton, he was encouraged to move and revealed cheerfully that he had managed to further cut his legs on the journey. deep joy.
Ten minutes later leaving the pony steeped in Intrasite gel I retraced my journey in the ultra reliable 'I wont let you down' Mitsubishi with its slick gearbox and super power steering and collected my husband from work
He took one look at my set face
'it broke down again didn't it?'
'I don't want to talk about it'
, well done on the rosettes and I'm sure box and pony will be fine!
