A question for all you mums

ticobay831

ticobay831

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I was just wondering how many of you have children that have no choice but to come with you to look after your horses.
I have got an 8yr old girl who does enjoy being around the horses most of the time and rides occasionally, unfortunaly as theres not always someone to look after her at home, she has to come to the field with me most evenings to feed the horses.
Im having quite allot of grief from her father at the moment saying that i need to get my priorities right and spend more time with her etc, not worth going in to really, hes always talked out of his arse
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Is anyone else in a similar situation, hes very good at sending me on guilt trips and its starting to get me down.
Debs x
 
My 8 yr old comes with me and my 7yr old has to as well and she is allergic to the in a big way.
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I recently have found walkie talkies brilliant ! I send them off to explore and we keep contact via walkie talkies and they love it.
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Dont feel guilty at all, you child is experiencing the outdoor life and not sat in front of a telly all day !!! much better for them imo.
 
i have a 2 year old - i think the key is balance - he comes to the yard and has to realise that the world doesnt revolve around him (v hard for a 2 year old!!!) and get on with playing while i muck out etc - but then i make sure we have special time together where i do focus on just him and we enjoy treats together. I think a happy mum has more to give to her kids at the end of the day. It is hard tho - especially making him wait while its raining!!!! Good luck!
 
Have been there, my son has had to muck in with the horses all his life. He still enjoys going, spending time with me and the horses, and riding too so i don't think it has done him any harm - and sure beats sitting in front of a playstation
 
I had a husband like that!! we are divorced now...but the only other option is to get a miniature that she can play with and take for walks, its cheaper by far than riding pony and for some reason the kids love them....other than that get together with some other riding mums and take turns on one mum taking them out each saturday morning somewhere fun in a rota...while the other ones not rota'd ride!
 
my 9 yr and 6 yr old have to come with me to the yard all most every day to feed the horse's ect ect, "thank god school is open now", thats the beauty of having my own place, as i have many friends that are on d.i.y yards and get plenty of greif from the y.o. But i'm getting really bored on my own when it comes to riding, my daughter rides but as my horse is very green can not lead her on her pony with me also riding my horse. pro's and con's with horse's and a family.
 
To be honest i thinks shes got a pretty good life and your right TT its far better than sitting in front of the tele, fresh air is much better for them.
Ive got a pony that she grooms when shes up there somtimes, hes really good but unfortunaltly hes unridable, shes just started riding my frinds 11.2. I d say she mostly enjoys it but on ocassions gets bored.
Her father has always had a problem with me having the horses and has always complained about them, maybe its because i chose them over him, yes we are devorced
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Anyway thanks for all your replys, i know deep down that its not hurting her but spose i just needed a bit of reasurance
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Ignore the miserable git.
A child is MUCH better in the fresh air than stuck in front of the telly eating crisps.
If she gets bored, perhaps she can go blackberry picking with the walkie talkie and when you get home you can both make a pie
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Its nothing to do with your daughter, its all about him trying to have control, he knows its a sure thing with something so close to your heart, tell him to get a life and stop bothering yours, you no your a good mum, and like everyone says its good for her to be out in the fresh airetc. im quite sure you both have plenty of quality time together. It sounds like she is very happy round the horses. I have 2 boys aged 3 and 9 and they enjoy being around the horses.
 
would he rather she was sat infront of the telly all day?

He sounds like he cannot let go of the fact he has no say in YOUR life.

Tell him to get stuffed..
 
I could not agree more.
Don't let any bloke try and control you even if you are no longer a couple.
I wanted a horse for years, the main reason I didn't have one was due to money but also because my ex was jealous of them.
I split up ( not divorced yet but will soon sort that out) and as soon as I did I remortgaged, paid ex off, bills/loans etc and I got the horses.
My daughter comes with me to the yard when she is around or stays at home with my partner, or goes to her friends and stays at her dad's partner's house every other weekend as well.
I have never had an issue yet but by eck if anything was ever mentioned it would dig up a whole kettle of worms and I can be a right bitch if someone gets me going believe me.
It does sound very much like he is trying a guilt trip on you which is not fair imo.
It's usually fine for blokes to do their thing. Ie go to pub, football, see mates and other male pastimes but when a woman who should be chained to the cooker, sink and kids wants to do anything other than that they are made to feel guilty.
It is wrong morally wrong.
Everyone is entitled to do something that pleasures them in life. Male or female.
We need comforts/pastimes to help keep us sane in our busy and at times juggling lives.
It is far better that your daughter is spending time with you and seeing you doing something that is making you happy and it is even better because you daughter is outdoors and not cooped up inside watching tv or playing pc or playstation games.
Please don't feel guilty and don't let him get to you x
Cazx
 
Thanks C, youve hit the nail on the head, thats exactly how i feel, but to be honest im sick of all the arguing, its always the horses fault and yes he was very jealous of them, i feel loads better about it now, thanks xxx
 
Aww Debbie it's ok just don't let him get to you x
Be strong about it, and if he tries to argue with you or gets stroppy just walk away. Don't rise to the bait, as perhaps that is what he wants, to see you upset as some blokes can be very cruel.
Rise above it and either change the subject or walk away into another room depending on where you are.
I know it's hard because I find it very hard to bite my tongue sometimes as well. But it will be better for your daughter too if she doesn't see you arguing because they pick up on so much.
Me and my ex used to argue a lot, sometimes one hell of a lot. My new partner and I have the odd row but nothing major as he is very laid back and a calming influence on me as I can be highly strung at times. My daughter ( now nearly 13) has pointed out to me several times that she remembers me and her dad arguing and she likes it now we don't argue.
For me personally I get on better with my ex now but I think that is because we are no longer under the same roof and he no longer has that 'control' over me which he did have. I have vowed never to let any man have that hold over me again.
I am not trying to make you feel guilty about arguing so please don't think that. Your ex is the one starting it all about the horses so it's not your fault. Just try and walk away or say sorry we have already discussed this matter and I have not more to say and then walk away and hopefully he will get the message.

best wishes and please keep your chin up, everything will be fine don't worry x
Cazxx
 
my boy comes down the yard but then its only 2 feet from my door so hes always down there as its our yard but i still get people moan now and again thats hes there !!!!
 
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