A question for those who work full time and have horses...

dressagelove

dressagelove

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I have recently started a full time job, and I dont know if it is just adapting to it, but i am simply exhausted all the time, and am getting increasingly tearful and emotional.

My horses (i have 2 for which to find the time for!!) are stabled at my parents farm 25minute drive from my home, and work is about 45 mins away.

I rush home from work and am so tired, so rush with the horses so i can get home for some rest! before it has to start all over again :( So im feeling guilty, and sad that im not spending much time with my wonderful boys :(

everything is just getting on top of me, and i keep asking myself whether i should choose between work and the horses, to give myself more time and not tear myself in two. the thought of getting rid of my horses dissolves me to tears regularly!

Those of you who hold down a full time job etc, how do you cope!?
 
Would you be able to get someone else look after your horses for a week to allow you to adjust? Im sure once your body gets into the routine of a full time job and horses it will get easier. Have you been in the new job for long?
 
:blush:

Honestly? Full livery. I am lucky enough to be on a yard which does ridiculously cheap full livery so if I've had a rubbish day then I don't *have* to go up.

Did 7 years on DIY and would really rather not go back :blush:

Sorry, that's not really the helpful reply you needed, was it?
 
I feel for you. I was the same last winter twice a day seven days a week. I now have a sharer who does my horse 3 days a week. And although I felt guilty at first I now appreciate the time we have together much more and it is nice to have a few days a week where you can just get up go to work without having to go to the yard first and then come home and lay on the sofa all night if you wish? But knowing that your horse is being taken care of.

Couldn't you leave them out 1 day a week and just ask your parents to check on them?
 
Get a sharer! A good one. Either for one of them or both. It will take the pressure off as your horse/s will be getting some one to one attention and excercise. If they contribute you could use that to put them on livery for a day to give you a whole day off!
 
I only have one and work full time but i have to say without my husband i'd be lost especially during the winter months where he goes up twice a day mid week and i'd do weekends. I agree with the others get some help it isnt worth the strees and worry over. Theres some good people out there who would love it!!! :)
 
I've never really thought about it tbh. I have 3 horses. I work early (7am-3pm), 25 miles away. Before that, i worked 8:30-5pm. Much prefer the early starts/finishes now though. The horses are my escape from it all really. I think i'd die of boredom without them.
It's probably just a shock to your system at the moment. Give it time, dont feel guilty and re-assess in a couple of months. The horses wont mind :)
 
It's difficult adjusting to your first full time job, it's exhausting without 2 horses to sort out. It'll take time for you to get used to it, but you will :)

I've got my horse on full livery, I've 2 young children and I work away sometimes so I wouldn't manage on DIY. I did try it for the first 3 weeks, but travelling with my job (not always staying away), young children just didn't work. I've also got someone else who rides her 2 or 3 times a week so I know the weeks where I can only ride 1 or 2 times, she's still getting the exercise she needs.

A sharer sounds like a good solution for you :)
 
just going back to full time work is enough of a shock to the system and exhausting. So agree about the sharers or why not just turn them away to live out for a month or so while you get back into the routine? and ask your parents if they could check on them a couple of days during the week so you could take those days off? It does get easier and its nicer in summer as you feel you have some time of your own still with the bright evenings. Winter however is a bit more of an endurance! or maybe if you are back in full time work you could afford to move to a livery yard? just a thought!
 
You may have more energy once you've got used to routine although there are other options so don't beat yourself up. You could look for a sharer or, someone to help you in the week in return for riding or if you can afford it pay for part or full livery. If you are finding it difficult in summer and it doesn't get any easier than you're likely to struggle in winter.

Can your parents help or do they have other people with horses there who could help?

Good luck :)
 
Its hard work I agree - I work as a HGV driver 05:30 - 15:15 mon-fri, I have 2 horses on DIY (yard 5 mins from home) (work 15 mins on from yard) I excercise both of them at least 5 days a week, I also poo pick every other day. I get home from the yard about 7pm at night - by this time I have been on the go for 15 hrs. Granted I am so used to it that its the norm. You will adjust, I wish I could work less hours but haulage firms want their pound of flesh out of drivers so I doubt it'll ever go to less hours for the same wage. Dont give up - make the most of the summer and reassess your situation in the Autumn. You may find yourself thinking lifes a doddle combining horses and work!!!! They are afterall why we go to work to fund our 4 legged friends.
 
I work full time, and often stay at work very late. I only have the one pony, but will eventually be looking to add another one. A few ideas:

1. Put the horses outside 24/7 if you can. Less/no mucking out, less haynet assembly, possibly less feeding. At our yard, even the ones that have stables tend to stay out---and they all survive just fine. The Arabs do, the TBs do...they're all ok. Full livery (esp. with exercise included) is of course another option, but would add up for two!

2. Take the pressure off yourself. This is hard to do, I know; but sometimes, you simply may not manage to ride, or even to get out there. As long as someone is keeping an eye on them, that's actually ok. There are phases when you're busier at work than at other times, and that's ok too.

3. Have a rough plan of how you're going to exercise them, but give yourself the flexibility of changing it. Perhaps plan to ride one, longe the other, on alternating days? The sharer idea is also worth considering, especially if you have competitive fitness to maintain, or a preparation schedule that you're trying to follow.

4. If you're really really conscientious about tack cleaning etc., consider getting synthetic tack for everyday use. Much easier care, and won't be damaged if it get soaked, etc.

I don't know if any of this is useful in your situation, but I hope you manage to work it all out somehow!
 
I feel your pain!

I started a full time job (9-6.15) last November after having had my kids and not really worked much for the past 10 years (lovely hubby!!).

I was completely knackered, like a zombie and couldn't cope. Would cry at the drop of a hat and wanted to give everything - job, horses, kids - up. My pony also came back off loan in March so back to having 2 horses to ride/muck out etc.

7 months on (actually it is 7 months today!) I am coping SO much better. I am even managing to stay awake in the evenings.

Hang on in there, it does get better.
 
How about looking for someone you can pay to muck out a few times a week just to give you a break / time to settle in to full time work. It is really tough, and your journey must make it even harder.

I have 2 plus my friends pony on DIY. I go up before work (6.30am) every day and then again after work. I'm a teacher so can get there quite early some days (4.30 ish) but may be taking on a promotion which will mean longer hours. During the winter just gone, one of my horses was on box rest which made things really hard work - but we got through it. I have been doing my horses on DIY for a long time (years!) so am probably used to it not, but I remember feeling exhausted when I first put my one horse on DIY years ago, and then I didn't have to turn out.

There are ways of making things a bit easier ... i try and do lots of hay nets at the weekend, and they are all on semi 'deep litter - so I just have to skip out in the week and do a full muck out at the weekend.

If things don't get easier, look for assisted or even full livery. Its supposed to be a nice thing you enjoy and it takes all the fun out if you are nakered all the time. x
 
I'm really lucky as my dad does most things in the week, also have very good friend who puts beds down, does feeds, water etc before dad gets up there and it helps that I trust them both implicitly. It works well but getting away in the week to ride can be tricky, in my job I can never really tell what time i'll leave, i'm suposed to finish at 5 but sometimes I'm there till 7. I think you will adjust over time, I'd like to ride more in the week but have to be realistic, without the job there would be no horse!
 
Welcome to my world! You will get used to it (if you stick at it) but no doubt you will have quite a few emotional and tearful days before you do. I find lack of sleep and being over tired always makes me feel like jacking it all in but then I try and think of all the pleasure my animals give me and that I wouldn't really be without them. I would give some thought to perhaps getting some help organised before winter if your struggling because this is the easy time of year! It will be even harder getting up when its freezing cold and dark and will be dark when you leave work (sorry, not meaning to depress you further!:). I have two rather demanding dogs who need a good walk before and after work too and sometimes I think I just go onto auto-pilot, probably half asleep as i'm walking! It will get easier, good luck :)
 
I work full time and have a horse on DIY about 16 miles away, it's hard especially in winter but we manage! Seeing my horse's lovely face after a long stressful day at work cheers me up :)

I must admit though, my OH does help me out. And I don't go up twice a day, because a friend checks her for me in the morning and tops up hay/water if needed.
 
I work full time and have my 3 at my own little yard that I rent, so no back up from other liveries or YO. I then also squeeze my art aound the day job and horses, and my commute each way to work is 1hour 15 min :confused: :rolleyes:. It's really tough, and sometimes I wonder why I bother, particulary when I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open on the train into and out of London. But you really do get used to it, and once you are in a routine it gets easier.

As daft as it sounds, when I first moved to London from home (Hampshire) to be with my OH, the horses stayed at home with my parents and for 5 months my life felt completely empty without them. So I always remember that when its 5.45am and I'm getting up to go and sort them out in the middle of winter, and will then trek to work and wont get back until about 6.30/7pm, and then need to go back and do them again :p I get by with some help from my OH who last winter very kindly took on the evening duties, and then they live out from March/April to October/November (weather dependant) including my TB, meaning I do evening duties and the land owners do a morning check for me (as well as keeping an eye on them virtually all of the time anyway).

And when I get home I sleep. Alot!! :D
 
Thanku, u have all been helpful just telling me that it will get easier. hopefully once i get into routine it will...

I'm ashamed to say i am quite selfish and dont like the idea of someone else sharing my beloved boys, lol, but if needs must, it may be something i have to think about...

I'm just starting to get one of them really competitive in the dressage and recently joined BD :D am v excited to start competing, so i am probably putting a lot of pressure on myself to ride him regularly and well etc...

today was a bad day i think, i was zombiefied before i even left work... finally got to the yard and my two obviously had bees in their bonnet, and wouldnt be caught, i just sat on the floor and had a good cry,

i hope it will get better...
 
I was the same as you! My mare is on DIY at a yard about 20 mins away from my house, and work was a 45 min/1 hr drive away. Pony is stabled overnight in autumn/winter and out 24/7 over the summer. I'd get up at 5.30 in the morning to muck out and turn out, then come home and take the dog for a walk (dogs aren't allowed at the yard unfortunately!) and then get ready for work. I finish work at 6 and then come home and get changed to go to the stables and put the bed down, do haynets and water, fetch pony back in and either ride or lunge. I'd not get home from the stables til around 8pm.. It was exhausting, but you do adapt to it. I can't say the middle of winter was much fun when we had all that snow! I've moved offices now and it now takes me a whole 5 minutes to drive to work so hopefully this winter will be easier :)

Good luck! It is hard, but you do get used to it!
 
I feel for you.:( impelling similarly currently, crying all the time, rushing everywhere,no time for anything.

I get help catching in in the mornings don't have to be too early anymore. It isntahuge thing,but it really helps.:)
 
Make sure to eat well also, balanced meals with lots of good things in them can help give you more energy!

I have felt like that this week, exhausted and teary but I jut have to crack on and as soon as I get down the horse - I never EVER feel tired then!! :D
 
I wouldn't be able to have my boy if he wasn't on full livery and I'm exhausted as it is - I don't know how some people manage working full time with DIY :confused:
 
Part livery works for me! They do him 5 days a week, I do him on my days off. If I can't get up there for any reason, I know they'll look after him for me. Working the hours I do, I just don't think I'd cope on DIY!
 
I have always had my horse on DIY but I bought her when I was at Uni and had all the time in the world! Now I have 2 jobs, one full time and a part time evening job, plus I compete my dog in agility and do voluntary work for PAT dogs! In the winter especially I am often knackered (as I work in retail and coming up to Christmas I sometimes work 9-9, and still go to yard before and after work!) But I do have a yard owner who can do her if I really cant (i try to avoid this as it costs me money!) and I am lucky that I live at home so get presented with a dinner when I walk in the door and all of my washing gets done for me (bet you were all wondering how I do it!) Get yourself a nice mum /maid like I do!
 
First year I got a horse after ten years of being horseless and to boot - it was on a livery about 20 min away, my commute was about the same time further down the road. I got the horse in October and the novelty wore off by December! I work full time and am self employed, so tend to work as many hours as God gives me to keep things going (in an industry that is not known for being particularly high paying).

However, some 6 years on, I've learned to adjust and tried to make things easier for me:

1 - moved the horse closer to home - is now 1 mile away
2 - make up as many nets ahead of time on days off so that I just grab one and hang it
3 - I don't do this but someone else I know gave me the idea - she makes up her feeds ahead of time (like I do with nets) and just bags it in individual portions.
4 - part livery options? I get someone to bring in for me every day so that I can just tack up my dry (and de-gassed) horse and go...

You will adjust - it does get easier over time. I used to find it more difficult when my horse was living out and then had to come in after summer - and if I had a horse that could live out 24/7, I probably wouldn't ride as much - would always find excuses not to. But somehow now that I have a horse that can really only go out for short times each day, (despite the mucking out twice a day etc) I find it easier to do what I need to do. I never get out of the routine and have to readjust.
 
I don't really think about it to be honest I've always had 2 on DIY and worked full time.

I would go before work and turn out, muck out, no feed in about 20 mins, I make it as quick as possible. Summer is fine as they live out so no need for morning visits.

After work would get stables ready so bring down beds, haynets, feed etc - would take about 20 mins then bring one in to ride for 30 mins then put both to bed.

Summer would just go down and ride 1 or 2 and feed, poo pick couple of time a week.

Think you just get used to it. Besides, if it wasn't for paying for the horses I wouldn't really need the job I do and I'm stubborn in that I WILL ride every day as I enjoy it!
 
I work full time and last winter was the worst Iv had as hubby was in afghan. I always feel guilty during the week but try and spend extra time at the weekend. Now with my husband being home I am lucky enough to get the odd lie in now. Try not to beat yourself up your horses will be happy with anything you can do.
 
Well I can certainly sympathise! Work full time with 2.5 hrs a day commute in total. Horses are at home so no drive to yard but having them at home brings it's own issues, nobody to fall back on, if something needs fixing or fields need treating then it's all my responsibility. If I don't work full time then I can't afford to keep horses at all so I suppose that's my motivation. My choices are work full time and be tired or don't work and sell the horses. No brainer really. Would never want to be without my boys.
OP I think you will get used to it, I aim for 24/7 turnout when possible and if they do have to come in I make up a load of haynets in one go, have rubber mats in the stables for quicker mucking out and just generally try to be well organised
Hope things work out for you
 
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