A sad question

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welsh_mare

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My Harvey is going to be pts :( and one of my friends doesn't know yet, she is back on sunday from her holiday, so still have to tell her, but we were expecting this, allthough also keeping fingers crossed

Both she and another friend (oh god i'm crying as i write this) have offered to be with me at the end, but not wanting to sound rude, i don't want them there. I want it to be me and him and possibly my husband.

They both love harvey to bits, he makes a real impression on all meet him, how can i tell them without sounding ungrateful, i know they want to be there for me, but i just want to be on my own, am i wrong for this?.
 
No of course you are not wrong, it's up to you who you want there. Any true friend will understand this.

So sorry to hear about Harvey, he sounds lovely :(
 
I don't think you are wrong for wanting it to just be you and your husband. If they are true friends they will understand.
Sending <<<<<hugs>>>>>, my thoughts are with you. x
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your harvey. I wouldn't worry about telling your friends how you would like things to be. I'm sure they will be very understanding. I must admit that I would also like to be on my own when the time comes. Your own horse and you have a really special bond, and although other people will love him, I just don't think it is quite the same. Make the decision that makes you feel ok about it, and look after your boy, others will manage I'm sure with your decision. Best wishes and hugs.
 
Really sorry to hear your news.

Simply tell them what is happening, and that it will just want your husband with you.

(((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))
 
No hun your not wrong i think thats completely understandable, and i'm sure they will understand. I would be the same. so sorry about your horse ..x
 
No, you're not wrong, it's up to you how you deal with a horrible day.

The only thing I would advise is that you have someone to drive you home afterwards.

I always ask everyone but the knackrman to go away and ask him to let me leave the yard before he removes the body (I run as soon as I hear the shot) so I sort out the paperwork and payment beforehand. Maybe you could ask them to do that for you?
 
If you are able, maybe let them say goodbye beforehand? Then maybe pay their last respects afterwards and be there for you?

It is very personal, and your decision entirely - I'm sure they will understand and accept it in the way you intend it. I send comforting thoughts at this horrible time.
 
I think this perfectly understandable and I'm quite sure that I would feel the same way. Could you perhaps say to them that you do not want too many people around him as he is more likely to pick up the fact that everyone is upset - this will just upset him? If you say that it will be easier for the horse if the atmosphere is calmer and that you will find it easier to hold it together if there are fewer people there, I'm sure they will understand, so long as they have had the chance to say goodbye to him.

I'm so sorry you have to face this - it is never easy.
 
**hugs** one of my horses was pts 4 yrs ago now and I still think about him every day, your brave wanting to be there when he's going to be pts, I couldn't do it and my mum drove me home and my dad stayed with him to make sure he was treated well right up to the end, he was pts with an injection and my dad said it all looked very peacfull. he was my childhood pony and I changed so much over the years I had him, and he was always there, through my teenage stropps etc.

If you want to be there with just your hubby than thats fine, arrange a time with your friends for them to come and see him and just explain you want to be on your own and everything kept quiet and peacfull.

x
 
This is such a dilema for you. When my beloved old horse was PTS it was just me and my dog who were with him ( plus the vet) we said our goodbyes and sat with him throughout.
It had always been just the three of us when he was alive; so it was when he died.

The YO made sure that all the other liveries knew to stay off the yard until it was all over. The knacker man stayed out of sight and would not move his body until I had left the yard.

My friends said their goodbyes the day before, and his owners came to see him two days before.
The last thing I wanted was for the whole thing to turn into a three ring circus.They all respected my wishes.

Maybe , if you are planning to scatter his ashes, your friends can be there also, to help and comfort you.

Whatever you decide,my thoughts are with you.
 
I was the same as you.

It's a very private & personal moment, & you will probably feel more relaxed without them & so will your horse. I would have felt inhibited if I had friends there & felt I had to be brave. Good friends won't have a problem with your wishes. Perhaps as others have suggested, they could come & see him beforehand.
 
I am so so sorry - agree with everyone - do this just how you want it to be done, im sure y0ur friends will understand - im so sorry - big hugs to you xxx
 
I agree with all above it is entirely up to you. Sadly when i lost Lucy a couple of weeks ago it was mostly out of my control. (I was away on holiday and had no way of coming back :() Luckly i have some wonderful friends and an amazing vet and it was all done just the way i wanted it (except i wasn't there). You need to do whats right for you and your friends should understand that. Don't be forced into anything you don't want as it may leave you with regrets.
((((((((hugs))))))) to you and Harvey.
 
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