A very, very hard post to write.

[DD]

So very sorry to hear this news, absolutely heartbreaking.

 

[Custard Cream]

Can't say anything different to everyone else but I read your post with tears pouring down my face. Know that you did your best, that your pony was loved and nothing else matters.

 

[sidsmum]

I am so sorry and can only echo everyone else. I'm in tears too. Big hugs and take care of yourself. xx

 

[Michen]

Thank you so much everyone. Can't reply to everyone individually but I have read every single message.

I am still completely and utterly devastated and swinging from hysterical to furious to sad. Half of me wants to go and fill his stable tomorrow because I can't bear the idea of not having the routine and structure that a horse brings and the focus. Packing up his things and leaving the yard almost seems like too much to bear. The other half of me never wants to look at another horse again.

 

[EventingMum]

Your obvious devotion to any horse in your care means it would be a great shame if you didn't give some deserving horse a home at some point in the future - maybe not tomorrow but before too long - you have so much to offer x

 

[Michen]

Thank you. I can't help feel like a bit of a failure at the moment. I knew he played with his fieldmate and I knew it was rough at times and had often thought maybe they should be seperate. But they were also great friends and I know Basil loved having a field pal so I did what I thought was best, even though it turned out not to be

Urgh, it's so easy to just sit and torture yourself over every small detail! Xx

Your obvious devotion to any horse in your care means it would be a great shame if you didn't give some deserving horse a home at some point in the future - maybe not tomorrow but before too long - you have so much to offer x

 

[Leo Walker]

Thank you so much everyone. Can't reply to everyone individually but I have read every single message.

I am still completely and utterly devastated and swinging from hysterical to furious to sad. Half of me wants to go and fill his stable tomorrow because I can't bear the idea of not having the routine and structure that a horse brings and the focus. Packing up his things and leaving the yard almost seems like too much to bear. The other half of me never wants to look at another horse again.

Speaking as someone who in a horrendous twist of fate ended up with a new one the day before my boy was PTS, then I'd say get another one, even or especially if its a project to bring on. Because I had him, I had to just get on with it. He needed me and that was that. The first few days were very hard but I honestly think I would have walked away and never had another horse otherwise. I just treated him as a project and kept saying he was to be sold once I got him right.

A month on and while I will never, ever replace Frankie, the new boy has bought me an incredible amount of pleasure and has helped keep me sane through the worst of the grieving process. The talk of him being a project and selling him on has slowly stopped now and it looks like hes a keeper after all.

 

[Piaffe19]

Michen, I don't post often but have followed your journey with Torres all the way through to your adventures with the lovely Basil. You have a remarkable love and devotion to your horses whch shines through with every post that you have made, unlike so many it is clear that you put the horses first no matter what. Don't beat yourself up for what happened, sadly that is the unavoidable tragic nature of horses, as an owner you did the kindest thing that can be done for a horse which is allow him to go out in the field with other horses and actually be a horse. Truly sorry for your loss xxx

 

[Michen]

Thank you xxx

Michen, I don't post often but have followed your journey with Torres all the way through to your adventures with the lovely Basil. You have a remarkable love and devotion to your horses whch shines through with every post that you have made, unlike so many it is clear that you put the horses first no matter what. Don't beat yourself up for what happened, sadly that is the unavoidable tragic nature of horses, as an owner you did the kindest thing that can be done for a horse which is allow him to go out in the field with other horses and actually be a horse. Truly sorry for your loss xxx

 

[Annagain]

Thank you. I can't help feel like a bit of a failure at the moment. I knew he played with his fieldmate and I knew it was rough at times and had often thought maybe they should be seperate. But they were also great friends and I know Basil loved having a field pal so I did what I thought was best, even though it turned out not to be

Urgh, it's so easy to just sit and torture yourself over every small detail! Xx

That kick could so easily have happened while you were out hunting or even on a hack with a friend. You adored him, gave him every care, he never wanted for anything - including the chance to just be a horse and to enjoy horsey company which is a really important thing in my mind - and he clearly loved his life. You could almost see the smile on his face in the photos you posted and I loved his naughty hunting stories, even if you didn't at the time!

Horses hurt themselves in fields whether they're there on their own or with others. A friend of mine lost her horse when he was on individual turnout. He tried to kick the horse in the field next door, damaged the fence and exposed a nail which gave him a puncture wound in his fetlock. It got infected, got into the joint and they couldn't save him. Some even hurt themselves in their stables, like the mare on here who headbutted the wall. What happened to Basil was just terrible bad luck. There's absolutely nothing to feel like a failure about. Please be kind to yourself.

 

[Lammy]

So so sorry about your boy Michen You did all you could to help him, there's no way you could have done anything more.
Sending hugs and hopefully some good fortune your way because you really deserve it.
And if it helps, don't feel guilty about getting/wanting another horse soon - after my old dog passed away we had a new rescue within 3 weeks because the house was so empty without one and the lack of "dog-routine" was just unbearable. Don't feel bad for this - I think it's a perfectly natural feeling.

xx