A week has passed

scats

scats

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It’s been a week since I lost the Diva and it’s been pretty horrendous to be honest. I had a dreadful day on the Friday- just couldn’t stop the tears at all, but found myself getting a grip of it by the weekend. Back at work this week and I’m having constant headaches and feel so stressed and down. I’m having a difficult and stressful time in work at the moment due to something out of my control and whereas I’m normally very stoic, I just feel like running away.

Got home on Tuesday to a lovely card off my vet, which set me off again, and today the letter to confirm the end of her insurance arrived, plus her euthanasia bill. Again, those sort of things don’t normally bother me, I’m pretty tough, but I just feel really sad and out of sorts.

I’ve put 5 horses to sleep over the years and I know it will get easier, but she was so special, I still can’t quite believe she’s gone. I suppose it’s still very early days.
 
Incredibly early days!

Be kind to yourself, only do what you want to do.

Cry if you want to, I lost my special dog recently (April) and it's only now that I'm not crying daily over her, the special ones are the hardest to lose. I'm a tough cookie until it comes to losing my animals

Treat yourself to your favourite foods and drinks. Keep busy or chill, whatever makes you happy.......you get the jist

Hugs for you
 
Be kind to yourself. There was a very recent study that showed the death of a pet is as traumatic as the death of a loved one...I know all of us who have loved and lost animals knows this, but the report was aimed at employers having a bit more empathy with people going through grief. Perhaps you need to take some time off work?
 
I cried more when I lost my horse than I did when I lost my Grandmother!

It's still very raw. Allow yourself that time to be snivelling mess. It does get easier.
 
The support I got from fellow HHO'ers when I sadly lost my mare almost 2 years ago was incredible. I will forever be grateful to everyone on here.
I join those before me on this thread in wishing you well, it takes time and I offer many cyber hugs. x
 
Oh gosh scats, I didn't realise you had lost her, I'm so sorry.

Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself some time, you were such a special partnership and you went through so much with her xxx
 
I am so sorry lass.

I don't know the history as not been around so much. Ironically had just given myself a pep talk and told self to get on with what I love.

I hope you're as okay as you can be. A hug and a handhold to get you through the bad days.
 
So sorry for your loss Scats. Every horse has a special place in your heart and grieving is natural. I hope your work is understanding. It is very early days so be kind to yourself. xx
 
It is very early days and not only was she a very special pony you were hugely invested in her care. There is the grief and a huge amount of adjustment for you. Allow yourself to be upset - it’s natural and be kind to yourself. So very sorry x
 
I haven’t followed your story but everything everyone has said on this thread is so true. Losing a beloved animal is100% as hard as losing a human. You need to allow yourself to grieve, cry and come to terms with your loss, and that will take time.
I lost my horse of a lifetime in April and I still get a massive lump in my throat when I look at his picture for too long, spend too much time thinking about him, or can’t sleep in the depths of the night. It’s so so hard, but be kind to yourself and try not to rush things. Sending hugs <3
 
Thank you everyone. She was so special and although I knew we were always going to be on borrowed time, I just wasn’t expecting it so quickly. The other two have adjusted well, which has helped. There was a small bit of shouting on the first night, but it was half-hearted. I’m pretty sure they knew straight away as they were both very calm and quiet all that afternoon, even when she didn’t return to her stable.

I think what has made it harder is that my whole life was geared around the Diva. Particularly over the last 12 months after her diagnosis. Every single decision I made, about almost everything, was to enable her to have a stress-free and as normal a life as possible, for however long she had. She was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing at night. Everything I did with the other two, it was always to ensure Diva was ok first and foremost. She was the number one, and although that probably sounds awful, Polly and Millie knew it and were ok with it. I’m sure they knew that Flo was special, they’d keep back to allow me to get her in first and they never encouraged her to run around, even if they were having a mad half-hour. We all had this agreement that the Diva was special. I just have to remember how lucky I was that it was me who got to spend 4 incredible years with her.
 
It is very, very early days. When I lost my darling first pony after 22 years together the first month was a complete fog. It is extra tough if you have issues at work as well. Could you take a little break away for a few days? To be honest the only healer is time. Just hold on to the fact you did the best thing for her
 
So sorry for your loss :( I lost my two year old filly in April and i sat by her body for three hours until they came to collect her and I just cried. April is a fog and I can't really remember most of it, was just going through the motions I suppose. It's incredibly hard so be kind to yourself. You need to grieve as you would if you lost a human member of the family. xx
 
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