CBFan
Well-Known Member
THIS. Please ask yourself whether it is worth starting WW3 over... I totally agree that pony owner has been a bit selfish - perhaps deliberately to wind your daughter up? but why rise to it?
A yard issue-opinions welcome
- Thread starter skint1
- Start date
THIS. Please ask yourself whether it is worth starting WW3 over... I totally agree that pony owner has been a bit selfish - perhaps deliberately to wind your daughter up? but why rise to it?
Lizzie66
Well-Known Member
Review of situation one long narrow field with 3 geldings (one a pony requiring "starvation" paddock), one other field with 2 mares.
Is the mares paddock smaller than the geldings one ? if not then would its shape lend itself better into being split than the geldings one ? if so how about the mares and geldings switch paddocks ?
Otherwise try talking to the YM explaining that you are concerned that if something accidentally happens such as pony escaping, either horse/pony kicking whilst leading through etc, that due to the ill feeling that already exists it is likely to cause more trouble.
Or sit both your daughter and the other livery down over a cup of tea and try and reach an amicable resolution. Make sure that if they say a particular layout won't work for them that they come up with one that will, and that they both have to be open to change, so each must have at least two alternate layouts that would work.
Is the mares paddock smaller than the geldings one ? if not then would its shape lend itself better into being split than the geldings one ? if so how about the mares and geldings switch paddocks ?
Otherwise try talking to the YM explaining that you are concerned that if something accidentally happens such as pony escaping, either horse/pony kicking whilst leading through etc, that due to the ill feeling that already exists it is likely to cause more trouble.
Or sit both your daughter and the other livery down over a cup of tea and try and reach an amicable resolution. Make sure that if they say a particular layout won't work for them that they come up with one that will, and that they both have to be open to change, so each must have at least two alternate layouts that would work.
skint1
Well-Known Member
CBFan- I think it's not worth it . Although generally I get on well with pony owner myself I've had the rough side of her tongue on more than one occasion since she's been here, mostly over stuff she thinks my daughter should/shouldn't/didn't do- it's not worth it at all.
Daughter needs to learn that its easier to bend than it is to break, but right now she is more interested in fair/unfair- as if that were ever important on a livery yard.
Daughter needs to learn that its easier to bend than it is to break, but right now she is more interested in fair/unfair- as if that were ever important on a livery yard.
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skint1
Well-Known Member
Mare and gelding paddocks are same size, both containing 3 horses (3 mares, 3 geldings) and are adjacent to one another. Ironically, in the past I've had to build pens for my mare who can get a bit footy, but never had this issue but then I've always made them self contained
I think my daughter will speak to the YM but I don't want her to, I want her to just leave it and I want everyone to just pretend they like each other!
Arizahn
Well-Known Member
Hey, this is meant to be fun for you too, OP! Could you move yards and leave them all to it? As I suspect they aren't going to be reasonable, and will soon find something else to grumble about...
ihatework
Well-Known Member
Even better play on it.
If the pony owner has done this deliberately to wind you/daughter up then plaster a whopping great smile on your face and pretend it doesn't wind you up. Even better try and find an excuse that what they have done is actually helpful/beneficial to you ....
Spring Feather
Well-Known Member
Split the pony paddock into two paddocks; one for the pony and one for the walkway. Pony can then alternate between the two and horses in further end of the field can get in and out without going into whichever pony paddock it's using.
skint1
Well-Known Member
My enjoyment of my own horse has been severely effected by this and other similar situations, I don't even want to be there anymore so I am seriously considering it, which on its own makes me sad as I have been really happy and had good times there and the hacking is so beautiful, but I mostly hacked with them and that feels like it probably won't work anymore.
I don't think it was done to deliberately wind her up I think it was just a matter of convenience for the pony owner.
That could work! I am not suggesting anything else though, I am just going to avoid everyone til it either blows over or I find another yard that I feel is as nice as this one was.
CBFan
Well-Known Member
Exactly. With experience, she will learn. You can warn her about it but you have to let her make her own mistakes, but make it clear that you are nothing to do with them! We have a mother and daughter on our yard, the daughter is an obnoxious wotsit, the mother knows so, and agrees with everyone else but she never does anything to guide her daughter as to the more pleasant way to behave...
That's exactly what I mean!
skint1
Well-Known Member
She won't listen to me,she doesn't understand why we always have to back down to please others even at the inconvenience/risk to ourselves , she says she plans to speak to pony owner herself and that it shouldn't involve me at all, I think she she will soon see its not worth it. She is less sensitive than I am though so being unpopular doesn't bother her at all.
eta- sorry to keep bumping this up, I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read and respond, thank you!
eta- sorry to keep bumping this up, I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read and respond, thank you!
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Sugar_and_Spice
Well-Known Member
OP I think you're being far too nice. What I gather from this thread is that:
1) you're stressed and the yard is your relaxation time,
2) you get along with all the other owners even those you don't like,
3) your own horse is not in this field,
4) you've suggested a solution ie swap your daughters horse for the pony owners horse, but nobody liked this suggestion,
5) your daughter is early 20's.
What I don't understand is why you're getting involved at all? I'd stay out of it and keep the yard as your relaxing social place. They're both grown ups let them argue it out, tell your daughter you're not getting involved. If the pony owner ever has any issues about anything to do with your daughter tell her to take it up with your daughter and not you. Your daughter can easily stick to her principles when she's not the one having to deal with the resulting bad feeling, its time for her to grow up and fight her own battles.
1) you're stressed and the yard is your relaxation time,
2) you get along with all the other owners even those you don't like,
3) your own horse is not in this field,
4) you've suggested a solution ie swap your daughters horse for the pony owners horse, but nobody liked this suggestion,
5) your daughter is early 20's.
What I don't understand is why you're getting involved at all? I'd stay out of it and keep the yard as your relaxing social place. They're both grown ups let them argue it out, tell your daughter you're not getting involved. If the pony owner ever has any issues about anything to do with your daughter tell her to take it up with your daughter and not you. Your daughter can easily stick to her principles when she's not the one having to deal with the resulting bad feeling, its time for her to grow up and fight her own battles.
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
Tiddlypom
Carries on creakily
Excellent advice!
Arizahn
Well-Known Member
Right, that does it! I hereby order you to spoil yourself rotten and let them all sort themselves out, OP. Life is too short to waste on other people being daft. Draw a boundary and set some rules for how you are willing to be treated by them. Repeat the mantra: I pay livery here too, this is my hobby, drat you all!
Here's hoping things pick up soon for you
AdorableAlice
Well-Known Member
Take the fence down and muzzle the pony, and the arguing humans.
skint1
Well-Known Member
An update for anyone interested.
Pony owner got to hear that my daughter was unhappy and sent me a text which indicated that no compromise at all will be entered into because of her personal opinion of my daughter. My daughter has agreed to just live with it for my sake. I expect the pony owner will have a rant at her when she sees her, it won't be enough for her that she has won the day but hopefully they will just ignore one another.
However, it's pretty inevitable that at some stage the pony is going to escape from the pen, probably when we are trying to bring our horse through, hopefully we will be able to catch him and the owner won't find out otherwise I expect she will think we did it on purpose anyway.
I have also resolved (to myself) not to try and mediate or keep the peace anymore, it's not as if anyone on that yard is actually a real friend, as long as we can be marginally polite that will be enough for me
Pony owner got to hear that my daughter was unhappy and sent me a text which indicated that no compromise at all will be entered into because of her personal opinion of my daughter. My daughter has agreed to just live with it for my sake. I expect the pony owner will have a rant at her when she sees her, it won't be enough for her that she has won the day but hopefully they will just ignore one another.
However, it's pretty inevitable that at some stage the pony is going to escape from the pen, probably when we are trying to bring our horse through, hopefully we will be able to catch him and the owner won't find out otherwise I expect she will think we did it on purpose anyway.
I have also resolved (to myself) not to try and mediate or keep the peace anymore, it's not as if anyone on that yard is actually a real friend, as long as we can be marginally polite that will be enough for me
Ladyinred
Well-Known Member
You beat me to it. The YM should have intervened at the very start and told her she could have her fat pen but it couldn't be allowed to inconvenience other liveries. Really, it does sound as if it has been done purposely to irritate you!