aaarrrgghh how do i say- dont be nosey!!

A

alfiesmum

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small rant ahead!

i have a bad habit of telling people things when they ask (About myself or horses).
i have been told recently to stop telling people things that really are none of their business.
so how do i politely tell people to p*** o*f without affending them?
i tried tonight by saying i wasnt sure what was happening and got told = 'what do you mean you dont know? surely you must know!' aarrgghh cant they just take it as a hint?
any advice will be truly welcome xx
hot chocolate anyone?
 
If you answer their question with an open-ended question - one that starts with how? what? where? when? why? then they will have to answer in more detail than a yes or a no. And people love to talk about themselves, so try and word in a question they will have to answer when you're avoiding being questioned and you''ll be in control of the conversation.

So for example if you get asked 'How is Jane getting on with Herbie on that new suppliment?' you would fire back 'I'm not sure, what suppliment was she trying then? and later to keep control 'what suppliments to you feed yours?' Or 'is Jane going round to Polly's for lessons then?' I'd say 'No idea, what do you think she's going there for? ' and 'if you had unlimted budget for lessons who would you go to for training' or 'what do you think of Pollyas an instructor?'or if asked 'How much did you pay for your new horse?' I'd say 'Well he was in our budget, but only just. How much was your horse then? ' And when they pause for breath, to keep control of the conversation 'So how long have you had him then?' and 'how old is he now?' etc
 
Thats a hard one, A few years ago I kept my horse in a yard where the owner was very nosey - almost to a point where she began to control what my horse should be eating and sent her to the vest for a very costly week! >(

The problem is trying to be nice with out actually saying: Look its none of your business. I the end, I really had to stand my ground and tell her that I wasnt comfortable telling her this sort of information. She took it badly - but only for a couple of days and then got over it, as I was still sporting a nice attitude. :D

With tack and rug values you have to be really careful who your talking too - you never know who may be interested in selling it on (with or without your permission :S )

xx
 
im blonde so get away withe playing dumb fairly easily lol - just say you dont know!!!!
Also i noticed when i moved on to my new yard a lot of talking behind each others backs carry on amongst a certain clique - i let it be known that i hated this sort of thing - if peopel talk about other people tehy cannot be trusted to not do it to you - i hate gossips!!!!
Also - dont be polite to nosey people - just say - "id feel really uncomfortable taklking about this --- why dont you ask them?" if you make it clear you will not particiapate in gossip or nosiness people will respect or think you are boring - lol - their choice -but i find it makes life a whole lot easier xxxx
 
i know exacly what you mean i have a "friend" who is always evesdropping and butting in on private conversations
i just say stop evesdropping and its none of your buisness
 
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