Absolutely furious :(

PolarSkye

PolarSkye

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N and Pops went out on a hack on Sunday with two fellow liveries - a grown up woman and a 13-year-old girl. Despite knowing that he has navicular and sidebone, that we NEVER run him on hard ground (I have lost competition entry money due to this - if the ground isn't right, he doesn't compete - period), that I've spent since March of this year trying to get him sound from first a suspensory injury and then a navicular flare up, that I was at one point convinced I would have to have him PTS and have been through hell worrying about him, that I am extremely careful with all aspects of his management - the grown-up fellow livery (who was in front on her mare (who kicks) - another no/no as far as I'm concerned - that fat, lazy cob with the dangerous back end should be at the BACK of the ride) saw fit to call out "shall we trot girls" and trot off - ON THE ROAD.

I'm not cross with N - she's not the most forceful person and this woman is rather (ahem) forceful - think steamroller - and I'm certainly not cross with 13-year-old (who admitted to me this morning that she didn't like it either - she was on her brand new baby pony (he's four) and she doesn't trot either of her other two on the roads - BSJA ponies, worth a fortune). I am livid with this idiot grown up who either doesn't have the sense God gave her, or is extremely thoughtless and inconsiderate.

I'm not interested in a debate on whether or not trotting on the roads is beneficial to horses . . . the fact is I am under vet and farrier instructions not to work him on hard surfaces because the associated concussion isn't good for his dodgy feet. So I don't. Ever.

It's very simple. N and Pops will never hack out with her again. She needs the company because she can't ride one side of her nappy, bolshy, stroppy mare and is afraid to go out alone. But if she can't be considerate, she'll have to make other arrangements. I'm not jeopardizing my horse's health to babysit her bargey, bolshy, rude horse. End of.

Spitting feathers.

P
 
That is very rude. I knew someone like this, I don't think she meant it, she was just very thoughtless (literally just didn't think about it). I'm 5'7 and my old Sec D was barely 14hh and very wide. She was about 4'10"'and rode a 15.2hh so her feet barely came over the saddle flaps. We used to ride through sand dunes and often the paths were narrow with steep sides. She'd canter off without a word of warning and I would be left having to go with her as there was no way my boy would stay back. I'd be catching my legs on the banks, losing stirrups, nearly getting dragged off and she was oblivious to it. I'd try to ride without her but she always seemed to turn up just when I didn't want her to. I kept telling her but she thought it was a big joke until one day I really whacked my leg on a root that was sticking out. It really hurt and I really lost it with her - a very rare occurrence for me. She never did it again!
 
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Sorry, if I was that concerned about the horses health I wouldn't have sent him out in a group ride. It is a bit unfair to expect the whole ride to be conducted in a walk unless this has been arranged beforehand.
As you have said kindly decline any further rides with the woman.
 
Did either of the other riders say no? If they did and she completely ignored them and they weren't able to stop then I would be mad, but if they didn't say no then the other lady can't be blamed for them not speaking up.
 
X-Rosie-X said:
Did either of the other riders say no? If they did and she completely ignored them and they weren't able to stop then I would be mad, but if they didn't say no then the other lady can't be blamed for them not speaking up.
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I agree. I think that in this situation you're the one being unreasonable. If she had simply trotted off, that would be inconsiderate, but otherwise she did nothing wrong as far as I'm concerned. My little sister is only 12, but if her pony wasn't supposed to trot on roads, I'd expect her to speak up regardless of who she was out with.

In fact, I could easily be accused of the same in those circumstances. I don't know the individual dos and don'ts for every horse that we ride out with, and as someone who is always assigned the job of leading rides, I could have committed a similar 'offence' without even realising. I always check that everyone else is happy to trot or canter before setting off, but if they say yes then I take them at their word. I expect that to be enough; if someone can't or doesn't want to pick up the pace, all they need to do is tell me and I'll respect that.
 
I wouldn't be happy either, assuming (and that is an assumption) that the adult knew about your horse's condition I would be most annoyed with her but would be more annoyed with my rider who put her unhappiness to say anything above the welfare of the horse
 
That's so rude.
I hate it when people say 'Shall we trot?' while doing so; even if you do say no, by then you are in an argument with your horse.
 
Forceful? she asked "shall we trot?" and it seems neither rider spoke up to say no. I would be furious with your rider who went along with it at a risk of injuring her mount. it was her responsibility unless you had previously agreed to hack with the lady on the understanding no trotting could be done on the roads. Your rant comes across as misdirected and b*tchy to be honest.
 
N should just have said we're not allowed, sorry. If livery had gone off regardless, then perhaps a reason to be annoyed, but if she said nothing then you can't really be angry at the livery, she couldnt really be expected to know all the ins and outs of your horses regime. I am often asked to lead out rides as my boy is so reliable on hacks, I often just shout OK to trot? and if no one says no, then we go, its not unreasonable...
 
I would have just said sorry I can't. Or more probably would have outlined ground rules before agreeing to go out with someone else if I new I had a horse on walk work. I don't think it is fair to blame the livery, she asked, it is quite normal for a lot of us to do a fair distance trotting on roads and it not be some sort of heinous crime, even expensive beasts do it!
 
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He can trot. He can canter. Just not on roads. Or other hard surfaces. We have enough access to trails that they don't need to be trotting on the roads.

Livery is a bossy so-and-so . . . in other regards she is awkward and insensitive towards others. This is just another example of her selfishness. She does know about my horse's condition(s). She also knows N is a bit of a pushover and has tried to railroad/bulldoze her into doing things (against my wishes and without my knowledge) before now. I have told N that if she (livery) wants to do anything at all that affects my horse her response to her should be "you will have to ask P."

To those who feel I am being unreasonable - you're entitled to your opinions - but if this was a one-off, I wouldn't be quite so angry.

P

P.S. Those who know me know I am not given to fits of unreasonable temper . . . I try very hard to rub along with everyone and am extremely considerate of other liveries and their horses . . . it frosts my butt when people don't extend the same courtesy to others.
 
Some people are just oblivious to others. I was hacking friends horse with a livery the other day and when we trotted she went so fast I was cantering down the road behind her shouting for her to slow down. Apparently she couldn't hear me!
 
Is your horse lame as a result of this? If not, you are overreacting - a lot. If he is lame, you are still being angry with the wrong person. I doubt livery person asked (politely) to trot with the deliberate intention of ruining your horse; more likely she just plain forgot your stipulations. Your rider, however, presumably did remember.
 
I'd get rid of the rider to be perfectly honest. If I give my riders instruction on what pace to ride my horses at then I expect them to ride at that pace. If my riders took a horse of mine and did something I expressly said not to then it would be the last time they rode for me I'm afraid.
 
I'm sorry OP but you have been outrageously rude about this person & their horse on an open forum. For that reason alone I think you are out of line, rant or no rant.

I think some of us can forget that while our world revolves around our own horse, it doesn't for other people.
 
I think you are cross with the wrong person here. It isn't the livery's responsibility to remember your horse's capabilities, it IS your riders. I'd be furious to find out my rider had trotted my horse on the road if there was a vet telling me it shouldn't happen. No blame lies with the bolshy livery at all IMO. If your rider can't speak up for the horse then they shouldn't be unsupervised.

I do hope he is ok!
 
Whilst I understand your concern for your horse, you can't blame anyone else other than the person riding your horse, if she knows she cant trot him on roads then she should have spoken up and then hopefully would have also given the young girl a chance to speak up too and stay behind with your horse and rider and let the others trot if they want to. perhaps your rider (if you keep them!) could buddy up with the young girl to hack out in future then helps both of them.

You really can't be cross with the livery, your post sounds very much like you just don't like the woman (and she has obviously wronged you before for you to be so upset).

You need to take a deep breath and realise your horse is fine on this occasion and remind your rider or get rid of them.
 
Agree with some of the others that my anger would be directed at the rider rather than the other livery.

Myself and another livery often nanny some of the greener horses or more nervous riders on rides and always ask whether there's anything we need to know i.e. horse kicks/is likely to bolt/hates traffic etc. before we set off and then again ask "ok to trot/canter?" before we up the pace. If no one has any objections we kick on with the proviso to just yell if there are any issues and we'll come back to walk.

H is three weeks into being barefoot and whilst he's been amazing, can be a tad foot sore over some of the more flinty tracks near us. If at any point I feel we're going too fast for his tender tootsies I just yell out and we come back to walk. It's really quite simple and anybody riding out should really be able to speak out if they're unhappy with the pace or anything else. If they can't they should really rethink who they ride out with in future.
 
I think that if you know that this woman has previous form and the rider is a pushover they really shouldn't have been allowed to ride out with her.

It's a shame and could have been avoided in many ways - the lady thinking, the rider speaking up or you not allowing them to ride together, nobody really has full blame and it's not fair to pile it all onto the other woman.

Fingers crossed the horse stays ok and that lessons are learned from it.
 
Honey08 has written exactly what I was thinking.

I hope your horse is OK but given the issues with your horse, your rider not being the most outspoken and your opinion of the other livery it was a mistake for them to be allowed to go out hacking together.
 
Actually I'm with OP on this - she said that the livery said "Shall we trot" and then just trotted off. It seems that she didn't wait for an answer. For anyone who has spent months and months of heartache trying to get a horse sound, it is quite upsetting to have a setback that could have been prevented.
Polarskye, I hope your horse is ok and doesn't suffer any long-term effects.
 
Holly Hocks said:
Actually I'm with OP on this - she said that the livery said "Shall we trot" and then just trotted off. It seems that she didn't wait for an answer. For anyone who has spent months and months of heartache trying to get a horse sound, it is quite upsetting to have a setback that could have been prevented.
Polarskye, I hope your horse is ok and doesn't suffer any long-term effects.
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But surely at this point you yell out "no sorry X can't trot on hard surfaces" and you all return to walk? There's really no excuse for the rider blindly going along with it when she knew she shouldn't be trotting on the roads.
 
GG2B said:
But surely at this point you yell out "no sorry X can't trot on hard surfaces" and you all return to walk? There's really no excuse for the rider blindly going along with it when she knew she shouldn't be trotting on the roads.
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I do know what you mean - but everyone has different personalities and if the lead woman is a domineering character, perhaps the rider felt she couldn't say anything?
 
what does the other livery's horse being bargy, fat, lazy and rude have anything to do with this? surely its not the livery's horse's fault so why are you being so rude yourself towards him? He's probably this lady's pride and joy the same way your horse is to you. You're coming across as a bit petulant and spiteful writing in such a way.
 
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