Absolutely gutted! A tale of ignorance...

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Gutted

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Hi - regular user using an anon account to post this - hope no one minds.

My friend and I were buying a horse off a couple. Horse was staying at the same yard with us just taking over the rent for the stable. We were paying the full asking price in installments as this agreement was offered to us. We were due to make the final payment and transfer the passport next week.

The horse is actually owned by the hubby, and the wife also has a horse on the yard.

The wife has mental health issues, and she's gone totally bat **** crazy today, accused us of not caring for him because we changed to a young rogue farrier who hot shoes, rather than their retired mate who they use and who cold shoes badly IMHO, deep littered his bed as there were no rubber mats, took him off sugar beet as it was giving him diarrhoea, and were going to call in the 'back man' on advice of BHS instructor - he has been lame under saddle/stiff on and off since we bought him.

He wasn't vetted, but soon became sound with regular low level work and some glucosamine. Instructor said he wasn't truly lame, just stiff and bridle lame, but that back man should be called in to be on the safe side. We had also lined up saddler and dentist.

Anyway, she just lost it and was ranting and being vicious, contradicting herself constantly, and showing herself to be extremely ignorant and resistant to change / research / learning.

She flat out refused to sell and was shouting 'I've got the passport, Stop saying you own him, he's mine he's mine!' We were due to make final payment for him and transfer passport next week. Hubby is going along with her for a quiet life - can't say I blame him after her performance today!

She offered us full loan but we had to keep him in the way she said, cancel back man, go back to previous farrier etc

Thing is she knows nothing, is scared of her own horse, hasn't had vet/dentist/saddler or wormed them for over 6 years, and thinks the poverty lines on her underweight ribby horse are just a sign that he has good muscle definition. She was actually insulted that we had arranged for him to be seen by the various professionals - wtf???

So we had no choice but to walk away from the whole thing, and put it down to experience - absolutely gutted :(
 
Pearlsacarolsinger said:
Well I hope she refunded all your money!
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They are paying back what we have paid towards his asking price, but not any of the upkeep we have spent over the last few months, our half of the unopened haylage bale, or the £50 quids worth of bedding we put down this morning :(

Don't have the energy to fight it though
 
Hindsight is a wonderfull thing but it was always going to be difficult to buy a horse in installments with the owner on the same yard.
 
Do you have anything in writing re financial arrangement? Do you have any idea of the money you have spent on the horse - vet, farrier etc. If you do I would be asking for every penny back.

That's shocking. By the sounds of it you seem to have tried your hardest to do the best by the horse.

Is she the type that may change her mind?
 
bonny said:
Hindsight is a wonderfull thing but it was always going to be difficult to buy a horse in installments with the owner on the same yard.
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The installments were their idea! We could have bought him outright at the time. We had a month loan trial beforehand and everyone was happy to proceed with the sale
 
Mouldy Mistletoe said:
Do you have anything in writing re financial arrangement? Do you have any idea of the money you have spent on the horse - vet, farrier etc. If you do I would be asking for every penny back.

That's shocking. By the sounds of it you seem to have tried your hardest to do the best by the horse.

Is she the type that may change her mind?
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No, it was a verbal agreement stupid I know :(

Don't have the energy to fight her, just as long as we get what we paid THEM back.

Well she has bipolar as do I, so she may regret it in time, but unless they sell to us outright it's not a situation I can cope with
 
Even if you had owned the horse outright you would probably still fallen out over this....sounds like you were changing everything about how the horse was kept, maybe for the right reasons but the old owners maybe thought they knew best as well. Always going to be a recipe for disaster, if I was you I would accept my money back and put it down to experience unless you really want this horse and are prepared to fight for him....
 
bonny said:
Even if you had owned the horse outright you would probably still fallen out over this....sounds like you were changing everything about how the horse was kept, maybe for the right reasons but the old owners maybe thought they knew best as well. Always going to be a recipe for disaster, if I was you I would accept my money back and put it down to experience unless you really want this horse and are prepared to fight for him....
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Yes I agree - I think she felt threatened / offended by the changes, but every change we made was considered carefully, researched and discussed.

We are doing exactly that - accepting payment back, tried offering calm rational reasons for what we did, not making waves or arguing - she didnt like it today that both of us looked at the floor rather than responding to her irrational rants and insults, and then just walked away muttering insults at us.

We've just quietly walked away, because even if we fought for and won him, its a very small village and its not worth the agro. We'll save the money we would have spent on him and buy outright next year.

Still gutted tho :(
 
Nutter.
They'll want to sell him again after Christmas when they are skint.
The husband really ought to tell his wife when she's behaving like an idiot - otherwise she'll just go on thinking she's right and the whole rest of the world is wrong.
 
Can you wave the last payment in cash under the owner's nose? being the week before Christmas she may cave if she could do with the cash
 
WelshD said:
Can you wave the last payment in cash under the owner's nose? being the week before Christmas she may cave if she could do with the cash
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They are the sort that have more than enough cash

Was it us? Were we doing something wrong and couldn't see it? Are they justified in thinking we mistreated him?
 
Sorry to hear about your experience Gutted but sadly this behaviour can be a pattern of someone with a serious mental heath condition :(

Hope you find a new neddy very soon x
 
We sought advice and did right by the big grey donkey much more than owners did - having a go at us because we'd arranged back man to come out - wtf?

Its him that will suffer as they will continue with lack of professional advive :(

So sad...
 
LMJ said:
Sorry to hear about your experience Gutted but sadly this behaviour can be a pattern of someone with a serious mental heath condition :(

Hope you find a new neddy very soon x
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I agree and understand. I myself have bipolar and borderline personality disorder, as does she - i never get that aggressive tho!

I think she may live to regret her behavior, as over the few months we've been there she did every few weeks declare that she was selling her horse, then she'd change her mind again!
 
Oh dear, what a disappointment for you! I suppose she feels insulted, not justified obviously. To be honest I sometimes find it annoying being friends with horses old owners over facebook let alone real life as there is always something you are dying to change (usually tack in my experience) and I'm always trying to be casual and all like 'oh yes just thought I'd try this' when it was staring me in the face. It is a pain but best to be diplomatic as possible... Difficult when you couldn't do anything without her knowing and feeling criticised, especially if she can be a bit fragile/paranoid.

I guess if you get the money back you paid for the horse you can't really get the other money back very easily as you effectively had the horse on loan.... I don't think I'd ever want to pay by installments, too much chance of hassle!
 
Sorry to hear about your situation and you are in the right. You have done nothing wrong.

To be honest it sounds like it was always going to end up like this, its just a shame you didnt read the signs and just 'play the game' until you owned the horse! But hindsight is a wonderful thing :(

Good luck with the future and I hope at some level she finds the information/ help she needs to care for her horses correctly.
 
Gutted said:
They are the sort that have more than enough cash

Was it us? Were we doing something wrong and couldn't see it? Are they justified in thinking we mistreated him?
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No you were too good owners and actually showed up her poor management I think. Hubby sounds like he is well under the thumb - anything for an easy life type!
Silly that bi polar or not he has not put his foot down and told her to grow up.

Poor you, poor horse.
 
amymay said:
It's a binding contract.

Refuse return of the horse, and make the final payment.
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I would try this. Put the agreement in writing yourself and print out bank statements to show regular withdrawals - if you paid by cheque even better. Tell her that you are willing to compromise by keeping feed the same (unless she looks in his bucket, how is she to know?) for a quiet life. Put the payment in her hand with witnesses or send it to her recorded delivery. If she signs for it, you could argue that she has 'accepted' payment.

Then move yards.
 
i agree in trying to give them the final payment anyway. how long was the agreement for if you dont mind me asking? Horse may have been slightly lame under saddle and stiff but, if it was a short term installment period then I would have been inclined to have left everything as it was until it was paid. unfortunately these types of sale can be a problem. Good luck with it and hopefully she will see sense and let you make a final payment.
 
Christsam said:
i agree in trying to give them the final payment anyway. how long was the agreement for if you dont mind me asking? Horse may have been slightly lame under saddle and stiff but, if it was a short term installment period then I would have been inclined to have left everything as it was until it was paid. unfortunately these types of sale can be a problem. Good luck with it and hopefully she will see sense and let you make a final payment.
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Agreed :)

Don't forget she isnt the only one who can rant and rave so don't forget to stand up for yourself.

I'm in a foul mood today so would happily come and kick arss if you need me to. I think my new LWVTB is going to fall through :mad:
 
amymay said:
It's a binding contract.

Refuse return of the horse, and make the final payment.
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This.

There was a contract to sell (even if verbal). You paid the money, it makes the contract binding (she should have handed over the passport at your first payment - it was not hers to keep). Your basis for argument is 'specific performance' - your contract was for that horse and you have invested in it over time. You are also entitled to 'damages', i.e. all you have invested in that horse if they take the horse back.

Don't walk away. It's your horse. A lawyer's letter pointing out why they can't do this to you is probably all you need (it would cost about £75) to resolve this. Then move yards if you can.

Sorry, but mental illness does not entitle the vendor to breach a contract.
 
I know it is a massive disapointment but I think you might look back on this and realise you have had a lucky escape - why would you want to buy a horse with potential and undiagnosed back problems?

Chin up hun x
 
Hi, I'm the other half owner off gutted, one of my god friends is a solicitor, took advice straight away, quite handy on the end of the phone, unfortunately we have decided to walk away, a)I have a stressful job, and don't really need the hassle of a crazy lady and b) mother of need the hassle just before Christmas, sometimes it's just worth walking away holding our heads high as well didn't resort to her bitchiness etc.

@hereshopping; yep you are correct in thinking that it is legally binding and all I have to do is show them my bank statements with the BACS transaction on it. They have taken the money therefore agreed to the verbal contract, they are in breech not us.

Sometimes not worth the hassle, have informed my instructor who has clipped him in the past for the other couple, was totally shocked, she's keeping an eye for us.

I'm just glad I did a load of overtime last month so we can buy a horse which will be overly loved and cherished in our families. Thanks for all the support even though I haven't posted before I have been reading the replies, helping me to feel a little sane. Thanks guys
 
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