Ad critique please!

C

cloverleaf1985

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As above just doing my boys ad for horsemart. Does tis sound ok?

My handsome little boy is looking for a new home with a confident sensitive child or lightweight teenager/adult. Sired by Ardenhall Missoni of the Newoak Stud. Backed last year, he is hacking out nicely in company or alone, has hunted and jumped a few small coloured fences. Has a very trainable and curious attitude and loves to learn new things. He has also been long reined in a full harness in preparation to break to drive. Good to load, shoe, vet etc. Potential WHP or show pony. Only for sale as i need something bigger. 5* home a must.

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It's not the best, no age, height etc. Also the first sentance is pretty awful. Don't use the pic of him with the saddle on as the poly pad is just strange.

Sorry for being blunt
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you either want a nice on of him side on, in good bright light (sunlight really) with his ears forward, or a nice clear shot of his face, again with ears forward.

IMO Ad should state height, sex age, colour and breeding then a little about his experience. finish with reason for sale and price.

check and double check the phone number or email address you put with it!
 
Never use ones you have 'just' got - you need to make some effort. Present him properly. Take one good confirmation shot with a nice background. And one ridden shot.

Don't waffle on about your 'special boy'. Give people the facts.

Age, height, what he's done. What you consider him suitable for. Price.
 
I would include at least one ridden picture. The poly pad does look a bit odd, I would put a plain numnah on or a saddlecloth that fits a bit better. You only sell once so you may aswell take some time to get some really eyecatching photos to make him really stand out.

ETA: you also need to incude his age and height.
 
OK ill get some better pics tonight. How is this for the wording?

Rising 5 13hh chestnut gelding, sired by Ardenhall Missoni. Suitable for confident child/lightweight adult. Backed last year, he is hacking out nicely in company or alone, has hunted and jumped a few small coloured fences. Has a very trainable and curious attitude and loves to learn new things. He has also been long reined in a full harness in preparation to break to drive. Good to load, shoe, vet etc. Good WHP or showing prospect. Only for sale as i need something bigger. £2000 ONO
 
I agree on the photos front - I think you need to take some shots outside on a bright day. Perhaps one untacked, side on (but looking immaculate and shiny and standing full up and square) and then one ridden - even if just standing still (but again must be stood up square).

I'd rewrite the ad something like this...

Potential WHP or Show Pony

Handsome 5yr old, 13hh, Chesnut Gelding by Ardenhall Missoni of Newoak Stud. Good to hack alone and in company, has hunted, and been lightly schooled over coloured poles.

Fantastic trainable temperament, he has also been long-reined and would also make a super driving pony. Good to load, shoe, vet etc.

Only for sale as I need something bigger. 5* home a must.
 
i'm no good with adverts, i didn't think ur wording was that bad. i like to hear about the pony and thats its well looked after and loved. do agree on pics tho. if u are puttin a ridden one make sure he has a nice plain numnah on, his polypad looks really big. if u want a pic of him with his saddle on but no rider take of polypad and just use the saddle.i would take it off for the pic with the harness on aswell. TBH for me nothin beats a great headshot lol. he's a lovely looking wee boy tho hope he finds a good home
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GOOD LUCK xxxxxxxxxxxx

ps i wrote poppy was my baby girl in her ad
 
You ideally want a good quality one of him standing side on and square. Take him outside on a sunny day, groom him till he shines, put his bridle or a leather headcollar on and take a photo against a nice backdrop.

Also one of him under saddle, either showing a nice trot or a jumping pic
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Great.... HOW OLD, HOW BIG?!?!?! I HATE it when people don't include basic information in an advert. That second photo really isn't great either. Sorry if I sound a bit harsh but I don't think you'll be inundated with calls if you put the ad in as it is. He looks very sweet though
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please don't put WHP or show pony!!!!!!!!!! "WHP or show hunter pony" or "show pony". the hunter ponies should be chunkier (more bone) than show ponies, therefore, a good SP should not be a good WHP!

I can see his sire in him, very similar heads!
 
take a nice CLEAR pic of him ridden...in trot
either in school or field
and a nice CLEAR pic of confo..without ANY yard clutter.

keep wording to basics..farrier/box/hack etc etc
please DON'T use that damn word Potential!!!!

good luck selling him...
 
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Ok how's this for the confo shot and ill take some ridden/jumping ones tomorrow after his bath!

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This is a MUCH better photo than any of the others
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Well done. Agree you need a trotting ridden one. Take LOTS so you (or we!) have loads to choose from.
Incidentally, I never understand why people take confo shots with a saddle on...
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all it tells me is that one can put a saddle on a pony which might have a sway back...
 
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