Admitting Defeat.

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Coldfeet!

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The niggle of me being too big for my pony, which often keeps me awake at night and which has actually been making me ill, has finally got the better of me.

Im sad but I realise it is for the best.
 
Too heavy, possibly a little on the tall side maybe.

I have lost weight and I am not massive but on a young back on a fine pony its not a good combo.

I feel a bit deflated today.
 
Hugs hun, have also been there with my beloved ginga ninja - after 2 1/2 years I finally let her go but she is safe and happy and still with the people who bought her :)
 
Its so hard, thanks for the hugs, he is literally the love of my life, would be so much easier if he was difficult or naughty or even nonchalant but he is my best friend in the whole world.

I have someone coming to visit him tomorrow, im a grown woman and im going to be a teary mess, they will wonder what they walked in to!

I cant concentrate at work im so stressed and so sad.

Its like grief.
 
Ah I dont think its admitting defeat - your not defeated just doing what you think is best for your pony which is admirable
Cant you loan him or get sharers so that you can keep a day with him?
 
I have thought about loaning him out yard is very small and full and no one has moved in donkeys years so I only have one stable, years back I put my old mare out on loan away from home when I had my daughter, and all I did was worry and it didnt help me being a new mother and I ended up bringing her back as he feet didnt get done and she was losing weight, I couldnt live with myself if something bad happened to him, Ive been over and over it in my head and I think I am doing the best thing for him, and me but its going to be so empty without him, I dont know how I will move on.

Im just have to make sure I chose the right home, i know its the best thing.
 
I have been and still am in the exact same position.
My pony is 14hh on her tiptoes, and is only rising 4.
I don't have a height issue at 5'3" but at 13st 2lb I certainly had a weight issue.
Dieting never worked so I made the hard decision to sell. Well it upset me so much I just couldn't do it.
I realised if I was ever to ride I had to lose the weight, so I started a diet new years day and I've lost half a stone, still 2 1/2 stone more to be able to ride her.

I have found that once I removed the option to sell, I gained the resolve to loose weight because if it upset me that much just to think of selling her, how would it be to go through with it?

Your case may be different, I am a little fatty with lots of flab to lose so the solution in theory is easy.

I did sell my bigger cob 6 months ago to move back to London. I regret it so much, and he's up for sale again and I can't stretch to what she wants to buy him back. I'm gutted.

If selling your pony is gonna break your heart, just don't do it, find another way.
I will regret selling the coloured in my signature forever, he was an absolute diamond and now he's gone :(
 
Horseyjen! said:
Ah I dont think its admitting defeat - your not defeated just doing what you think is best for your pony which is admirable
Cant you loan him or get sharers so that you can keep a day with him?
Click to expand...

^ This. I think it takes balls to put a horse first and say when you're out of your depth or not suited to something whether it be temperament, height or build. It's far easier to just ignore something like that.

Have you had independant views to see if there is actually a problem or you just think there is? And you mention young back in the list... if you think he'd be suited when grown I'd loan.
 
No not rude,

I thought I was 5'4 but it turns out im 5ft 5, im about 12st 5lbs, my pony is just shy of 14.2, he only has 7 3/4 inches of bone and is very narrowly built.

I had my hip replaced in 2010. Its still quite painful and uncomfortable and i piled onweight recovering as much as 15 stone 3 at my heaviest. I struggle at the gym with the treadmill and cycle, I got down to 11 stone 10 and looked average i thought and my saddler advised I possibly need a bigger or cobbier horse and that he wasnt really built to carry much, he was sugar coaty about it but it upset me and knocked my confidence, Im an emotional eater and in no time I was back up to 13st 10. Ive since got control of it again but it took me ages and ages to lose the original weight. My hip seems to be getting more painful of late so now I feel like I have to admit that with my size, lack of muscle on the left and therefore lack of balance and him being so young fine and green that I would be doing him more harm than good and I cant be selfish any longer.
 
There are several reasons in your last post why the pair of you might not be suited. Is it possible to find a teenager/small adult who could bring on his ridden work while you do his ground work for a year or two to see how he develops and give yourself time and incentive to lose the last bit of weight? Depends how old he is obviously. At the end of the day though riding is a hobby that should be fun and you may be better on a bigger and less green horse that you can relax on and not worry that you are squishing.
 
I dont need an incentive to lose the weight I have lost it and I am losing it again, I think I did well so far to take the knock and suck it up, I have a big frame so I am never going to be skinny, I am who I am. The pressure I put on myself is unreal at the moment. The worry of it is making me ill, I get judged, I feel mean, I love riding and my osteo is bi lateral so sooner or later I will need the other one doing and I think in a lot of ways I just want to enjoy my hobby before I am absolutely unable to do it. I think ultimately if I love him I should let him go. Like I said I have been over and over every scenario, some of my fb status's appear at 3, 4 and 5 am lol. Although I am sad, I feel a strange sense of relief. Thanks everyone I really needed to get this off my chest as I dont really have anyone to offload to.

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