Advice for first time owner

[littlepiglet]

Was wondering if anyone has any advice for a first time owner.

I'm in my 40s, recently bought my first horse and have her at a DIY yard, we're on our own at mo whilst she is in quarantine which i am finding quite hard although I can ask for advice if needed but I don't physically see anyone much when I am there so feel quite alone.

She is turning out to be a bit of a handful (not as chilled as she was when I tried her). Is fine to ride, I have ridden her 8 times since I've had her which is just over three weeks. I have hacked her out alone and she was a little nervy and jumpy but quite good on the whole, been out with a friend on his horse and she was fine...again a little jumpy but OK on the whole. She has lost a bit of weight despite feed staying the same as with previous owner. She has been quite stressed in the stable (kicking and spinning round etc) all adding to my nerves so I've decided to leave her out now to help her settle - getting mixed views on this from people at the yard.

My worry is that I am suddenly seeming to lack confidence handling her (she keeps trying to bite me....but not in a nasty vicious way its more of a nervous thing I think) and i'm nervous about riding her for no real reason.
I 'm conscious I need to keep riding her but am just finding the whole situation very overwhelming and waking up each morning wondering whether I have done the right thing and if she is the right horse for me!

It's something I always wanted ever since I was a young child and have been riding regulalry with instructor for past 3 years, she helped me find my first horse. Its only recently that I've been in a position to be able to comfortably afford a horse so money fortunately isn't a issue for me but now I am here and have her I just worry so much about everything, overthinking what could go wrong and whether I am competent enough to do this!

Is this normal to feel like this? Originally I wanted to have her at a yard offering part livery just to provide some support really but ended up on DIY as felt it better to start off 'full time' so to speak to properly get to know my new ned and try to bond.

Any guidance appreciated - thanks in advance

 

[luckyoldme]

i can only speak from my own experience , but yes its totally normal to feel as you do.
I got my first one at 41, and initially it was a disaster i didn t get any help going to buy and when i got the horse home he turned into my worst nightmare.
I think leaving her out is perfect, let her be a horse for a while and settle inot her new surroundings. My horse was so bad that i decided to take him back, then changed my mind at the last minute.
I was to nervous to ride him so i just brought him in for an hour for feed and fuss, then bit by bit i got my confidence and we did more and more, he is now 28 and enjoying his retirement after giving me 9 years of trouble free hacking.
I think moving is traumatic for a horse, they have n way of knowing you are going to be kind to them, you have to show them ...and that takes time!

 

[tatty_v]

Hi littlepiglet, it is normal so don't worry! When I tried my boy he was perfect - quiet and sensible. In quarantine he turned into a raving loony - jumping out, tanking off in hand, mini-rears in the stable etc. As a first time owner who had dreamt of owning a horse since I was tiny, I cried (a lot) and wanted to send him back, but my lovely husband (horse vet) and his vet nurse helped me out and reminded me that his whole world had just been turned upside down so he was bound to behave differently. It will get better as she settles, but in the meantime there are things you can do to help, for example:

- stay calm and consistent in your handling and be careful (hat, gloves, don't wrap leadrope around your hand etc)
- try and give her as much of a routine as possible (my boy was better coming in at night than being left out 24/7)
- stick to short rides with company, either another completely sensible horse or a person walking alongside you (very good for settling your nerves too!)
- don't pressure yourself to ride if you don't want to - you can still do things with her on the ground (grooming if she likes that, groundwork to establish manners and to keep her interested etc)
- take any help you can get from more experienced people - they will have gone through this before!
- don't take any of it personally - she's not doing it to get at you, it's likely she's just unsettled following the move
- if you want to up her weight without adding fizz, then maybe a bit of extra hay rather than hard feed

It's entirely possible that there are reasons why she's doing this beyond the change in environment. For example, it turns out my boy has separation anxiety and so being kept solo for three weeks in quarantine was awful for him. Equally there could be health reasons for her behaviour, but at this stage I'd just wait and see if she'll settle in time when she gets used to the move.

Good luck! xx

 

[Sparemare]

Totally normal. Having a new horse is as nerve wracking as having a new baby! How long is the quarantine going to last?

 

[scats]

Some horses cope with change better than others and your horse may well be finding the change of home/friends/humans a bit stressful, which has manifested itself in weight loss and anxiety. It's totally understandable that as a new owner, you them feel anxious as a result of this behaviour.

We welcomed a new mare last week and she's still finding her feet. She's caused my other pony to be a bit silly at times as well, but this will all settle down once new pony gets accustomed to her new routine.

My advice would be to give her a routine and stick to it for the time being. This often helps new horses settle in because they start to realise what it expected of them. I find it gives heme a bit of stability. Obviously once she is settled you can free things up a bit but for now I would have a general routine that you follow every day.

Take the pressure off yourself until you get to know her. If you want to just get on everyday and go for a little walk then do it, don't feel pressured to do more until you are ready. In a few weeks time, you will suddenly realise that you are starting to get to know her and your confidence in handling and riding her will increase, although it will probably happen without you even realising.

Good luck xx

 

[littlepiglet]

thank you all so much - such positive replies, helping me to feel at ease, I have positive days and negative days.

I did want to send her back after the first week i'll be honest - definately had second thoughts.

I did have a good lesson with my instructor last night so came out of that feeling positive. She has never done anything wrong riding wise but I still feel nervous at the thought of riding, during the day its all I can think about. Silly I know but I'm sure it will improve with time.

At the moment, being out is helping her settle in and she seems happy and is grazing away checking every now and then that she can see the others so isn't alone!

Quarantine is another few weeks (8 worst case!) its not ideal but I do have a routine in that I bring her in in the morning and give breakfast and have a groom and then evenings are riding twice in eve in week and both days at weekend.

Wondering what peoples thoughts are on assisted/part livery? DIY is quite overwhelming to a newbie!

 

[SEL]

Why is your quarantine so long? Even with strangles testing and various waiting for results etc I've never seen one go over 4 weeks. I'd definitely leave her out. We've had a few on box rest for various ailments recently and they start to bounce off all 4 walls after a while.

DIY is a lot of work full stop - even for non newbies - esp when you have to fit everything around a job and the rest of your life. You will get into a routine and you will stop feeling guilty that everything isn't 100%. If there is the opportunity to put her onto assisted and have someone help you one end of the day then that's quite nice for taking the pressure off.

I remember when a good friend of mine got her first horse in her late 40s. She got the little mare in October just as the weather changed to wet, cold and windy and by Xmas she was ready to give up. Luckily we all persuaded her to hang on through the horrible winter we had and 8 years later she's having a fabulous time happy hacking her horse. Hang on in there!

 

[littlepiglet]

thank you SEL, yes I agree re the quarantine but for time being it will have to do, I am hoping I can move sooner but can't guarantee. A few people have commented on the 8 weeks being pretty extreme but hey ho!

I have def picked right time of year to start - a friend did suggest I wait till spring time so I start with the nice time of year before winter comes!!

thanks again everyone

 

[Sparemare]

8 weeks! Good God!

 

[littlepiglet]

I know it's a long time isn't it!

 

[chestnut cob]

I think your problem is the quarantine. Horses are here animals and IMHO she's getting stressed being alone. I wouldn't be happy keeping her alone for 8 weeks, it's not fair on either of you.

 

[spugs]

8 weeks is very long, ours is 24 hours for worming.