Advice needed from you knowledgeable folk!

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oldie48

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My older daughter has a staffie possibly staffie x bitch who is coming up to a year old. She's a big strong dog, fine with people but to my mind somewhat aggressive to some dogs. She is quite territorial, my daughter does a lot of ball throwing with her and if another dog dares to go after the ball, she doesn't give a warning but goes straight in. My daughter won't accept that this is an issue and seems to think it's OK. I don't! I am becoming very worried as I don't think my daughter has suffiicient control or appreciates the potential danger. Bitch doesn't get on with our dog either and I find this really stressful. I want to support my daughter who is having a really difficult time ATM and she needs my help but I get really anxious about her coming to stay with her dog. thoughts please!
 
Group ball throwing to my mind is lunacy anyway, dogs are generally possessive creatures, I wouldn't blame any dog for going after another who was trying to get their ball, it's completely natural and daft to put them in that situation.
I have two males, the younger one came to me later in life when the older one had been established as an only dog for over seven years and who is not social with other dogs anyway, they are both big strong males and I would be mad to expect them to mix nicely. If you want any examples of how I do things (IE, have two dogs who live in the same household and travel all over the place together, but do not mix, but who live perfectly happy lives, as do I!!) then PM me.
 
CorvusCorax said:
Group ball throwing to my mind is lunacy anyway, dogs are generally possessive creatures, I wouldn't blame any dog for going after another who was trying to get their ball, it's completely natural and daft to put them in that situation
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I agree with this. IMO there are some situations where they need to be OK, and some where I think they're within their right to get tetchy.

I have a Staffy. He's really great with people but a bit hit and miss with other dogs (he hates black Labs and Golden Retrievers for some reason). The more I try to control a situation the worse he is. If he's allowed to go up and sniff etc. he's fine. If a dog comes running up to us I let him sniff while I keep walking (I use an extendable). I don't let him off the lead.
 
We don't do ball throwing when she's here unless she takes her dog over to our big field on her own, Stan isn't into it anyway and I do my best to avoid anything that will prompt trouble especially anything food related!. Daughter was on her mobile to me whilst out this afternoon and I heard the squealing of the other dog that had picked up her dog's ball. Not nice to hear! Problem is almost every time I talk to her, she's complaining about the dog, her level of energy and commitment etc She obviously loves her but is struggling and I think she uses off lead + ball throwing as a means of trying to wear the dog out. she lives in a very busy city so mostly she's walking the dog in parks. Reading between the lines, I think she's had a few problems recently with her dog being aggressive but she doesn't walk her on the lead much because she's not been trained to walk nicely. Sorry I am letting off steam a bit here because I'm worried.
 
Don't worry. Staffies can be shits, but they're great dogs (as people companions) with the right handling.

I try to walk mine for at least an hour a day and he spends most of that running. After that he'll happily sleep for the rest of the day.

I walk mine in a Halti harness and I can't tell you the difference it makes. With just a collar he pulls like a steam train, but with the Halti harness he's light as a feather in my hand and will walk by my side. I'd definitely recommend getting one as I totally empathise with how bloody irritating it is walking 20kgs of pulling dog.
 
Some great suggestions but sadly daughter doesn't take advice very easily I've tactfully suggested a halti , my other daughter uses one on her Viz and it makes the difference between me being able to walk him or not. I actually rather like the bitch when there's no other dog around and tbh I really need to spend time with my daughter as she's not very well ATM. Keep the suggestions coming and try to reassure me that she's not going to rip Stan's throat out!
 
CorvusCorax said:
Group ball throwing to my mind is lunacy anyway, dogs are generally possessive creatures, I wouldn't blame any dog for going after another who was trying to get their ball, it's completely natural and daft to put them in that situation.
I have two males, the younger one came to me later in life when the older one had been established as an only dog for over seven years and who is not social with other dogs anyway, they are both big strong males and I would be mad to expect them to mix nicely. If you want any examples of how I do things (IE, have two dogs who live in the same household and travel all over the place together, but do not mix, but who live perfectly happy lives, as do I!!) then PM me.
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I would be interested to hear how you manage this if you don't mind. A friend of mine is having a tricky time with her two dogs and it sounds like her situation is similar to yours.
 
Oldie48, if your daughter won’t accept that her dog attacking others is a problem then you are on a hiding to nothing.
I would just go and see her and leave Stan behind, if that is an option.
 
You could try a Mikki harness or a figure of 8... they are fab for lead walking, and for teaching the “heel command or “wait commend. Would be lost with out mine.

maybe you could try hire a doggy friendly center. ( a large paddock) it not very experience, there is no other dogs and you can normally hire them for half hour/ hour/ 2 hours etc. And that way the bitch could play with here ball and your daughter/yourself wouldn’t have too worry about any other dogs touching her ball... as it is normal that she is protective of her toy.

with your dog and hers there is quite a few things you could do, how do you manage at the moment?
 
OP I think you need to be clear - your house, your rules, regardless of what your daughter lets her dog do at home. It’s certainly what I’d do.

I apologise for being critical of your daughter, but she isn’t doing her dog any favours letting it get away with unacceptable behaviour as I’m sure you know - the dog will think it’s OK to carry on doing what it is doing, perhaps your daughter doesn’t really realise the seriousness of what is happening.

Is her dog crate trained, or is this something you could introduce? It would give you peace of mind, and it would give the dog a secure space of it’s own to relax and feel safe
 
Sadly not an option to visit her, there are times that she needs to stay with me and can't always find someone to look after her dog.
I've tried to persuade her to crate train but she doesn't work at it and so has not succeeded in making the crate a happy place for the dog
I don't have a problem with people being critical of her, I feel critical too but that doesn't get us anywhere. If I'm honest I don't think the dog is a good choice for her as she lacks consistency with her training and will accept certain things as "just staffie behaviour" and the bottom line is I just don't trust this bitch around other dogs and her behaviour is starting to make my dog nervous around other dogs.
It's just a really difficult situation for a number of reasons that I don't want to go into on here. Life is sometimes quite difficult with things that are basically not in our control and with competing interests ie I love my daughter and want to help her all I can but I also love my dog and I'm worried he'll get hurt!
 
oldie48 said:
Sadly not an option to visit her, there are times that she needs to stay with me and can't always find someone to look after her dog.
I've tried to persuade her to crate train but she doesn't work at it and so has not succeeded in making the crate a happy place for the dog
I don't have a problem with people being critical of her, I feel critical too but that doesn't get us anywhere. If I'm honest I don't think the dog is a good choice for her as she lacks consistency with her training and will accept certain things as "just staffie behaviour" and the bottom line is I just don't trust this bitch around other dogs and her behaviour is starting to make my dog nervous around other dogs.
It's just a really difficult situation for a number of reasons that I don't want to go into on here. Life is sometimes quite difficult with things that are basically not in our control and with competing interests ie I love my daughter and want to help her all I can but I also love my dog and I'm worried he'll get hurt!
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My worry would be that if you daughters dog is making your dog nervous that could be a recipe for disaster... :( maybe you could explain your concerns too your daughter that you dog is stating too feel a little bit nervous/ uncomfortable in his own home.. and that between you and her you could come up with some solutions. That way you making it a “ we” solution instead of a “ you” solution if that makes Sence?

when the dog is with you could you not train her too go in the crate? And then maybe if you daughter see you doing it, and that the dog like it might be easier for her to continue you it at home? Just a suggestion.. x
 
Well if you can’t crate train your daughters dog, you will have to train all the humans into being meticulous about shutting doors to keep the dogs separated - and from growing up in a household of stud dogs and bitches in season, yes that is perfectly possible and achieveable! I think otherwise you will just be worried and unhappy the whole time, which will affect the dynamics of the visit.

It’s the only way for you to have real peace of mind IMO if your daughter won’t train her dog.

Personally, and yes I know this is very very harsh, I’d be taking the dog off her - she has doesn’t sound to be suited to owning that sort of dog, and it’s not fair to the dog - its not all about her ?? sorry ??
 
Well, it's not often I disagree with CC about dogs but ime dogs can be trained to play with a ball in the presence of other dogs without attacking them. One of the ways is to make sure that there enough balls to go round. I must admit that we have done it mostly with Labs but we currently have a Rottie, who isn't remotely interested in the Labs' ball(s), have had JRTs and a different Rottie and also currently have a Dalmation and a Staffy in the family who all play together with balls or other toys.
However, I wouldn't expect 2 adult dogs who are both possessive of a ball to be able to play together just like that. Can you suggest that your daughter always brings her dog and plays in the field with a ball, well away from Stan, before bringing the dog into your house and expecting it to settle down, either in a designated space or better still in a crate? If there is a sensible reason why the dog can't be crated (and 'our' Staffy has a very good reason to dislike crates), can Stan have a crate as his safe space away from the bitch?

Like Lev, we had entire dogs and bitches growing up and could keep them separated if we needed to to. We even barrier nursed one with Parvo and the others didn't get it - he recovered. (All ours have always been vaccinated, since that was available, it's a long time ago)
 
if you are really worried about stan, could he go in a crate to keep him safe if you are busy and unable to supervise. i know its not a perfect solution but he would be safe and you could relax a bit and maybe your daughter would then be prepared to put hers in a crate while stan is out. i would rather do that than risk serious injury to my own dog..
 
Being blunt, if her dog is attacking other dogs and making them squeal then she is likely to find herself in trouble before too long I suspect, especially if it is a big staffy type. I saw a post just today about a staffy cross who had been removed from owner as it was considered "of type". Luckily, it is back with owner now but I think they had a worrying few days.
I agree with splashgirl, probably best to keep Stan crated as much as possible when daughter is visiting, not really fair but he would be safe.
 
Agree with MM, unpleasant as it might be, you might have to scare/shock/threaten her into action before another dog is hurt or killed/her dog is removed/PTS/she gets a conviction.

MM has met my lads and can hopefully confirm that they are in no way stressed or traumatised by having to live separate lives ;)
 
I'm sure I have said it before but my mother used to bring her staffie bitch here and it used to be aggressive with my dogs. My mother could never see it, it used to square up to them and stare them down, they used to avoid coming in the room with it.
If you have to have the dog to stay and your daughter is blind to it, and you really don't want Stan getting hurt or into trouble for taking his own crusade on when he is out and about, then I think he needs to be crated, or could he go and stay with your other daughter? Or as it would be unfair to crate him while the visiting dog postures and struts in the same room I would just shut him away.
 
The thing that stood out to me was that she was on the phone to you while ball throwing to her dog, which means she doesn't think giving full concentration to a situation where the dog is known to be reactive is necessary. That strikes me as a bit odd and possibly representative of the larger issue.
 
Thanks for all your very helpful advice. Having slept on it and walked Stanley this morning I now have a plan. We are fortunate to have a self contained flat which my lovely late MIL lived in and I am going to use that for Stan when the staffie visits. I'm also going to put a dog gate in so although it has a two door access into the main house, I can move in and out without any danger of Stan getting through. I'm going to get him used to being in there and as it has a lovely big window that looks out onto the courtyard he'll be able to see out into the world. I'll ask my daughter to walk her dog separately but I am going to have a straight talk with her about my concerns. TBH she already knows I worry and I think she does too. People who know me, would say I am a pretty straight forward person who speaks her mind but sadly my daughter, who is in her 40's has some issues which make her emotionally fragile and I am very aware of how much she needs me ATM so have been less direct than I would normally be. Wish me luck. OH is just off to collect my other daughter's Viz who gets on very well with Stan and is staying for a couple of weeks. thanks goodness that worked out well in the end once they'd both grown up a bit!
 
Sound like a good plan, sometimes having a sleep on it brings new idea and solutions. Sound too me like you might have it all sorted now which will be peace of mind for you and Stan! And your daughters dog is still able too come with your daughter, when your daughter needs you.
 
I’d advocate keeping the ball throwing, actually. It’s been a saviour for us, that and dummy/scent work. If Zak is searching for a ball, he ignores other dogs, so they and he are safe.

The annexe sounds perfect, although I’d be popping daughter and dog in there and keeping Stan in his own safe house. Won’t he be stressed being apart from you/out of the main house?
 
I didn't say anywhere to stop ball chucking?
I just think ball chucking with more than one dog can be a recipe for disaster (depending on the prey drive/possession levels of the dogs in question) and it is not something I would do.
It's also a pretty high impact exercise for a young dog in terms of sudden stops, turns, landings etc.
I always now throw a 'running rabbit' along the ground, it's a more natural prey movement, rather than throwing into the air, which risks the dog jumping and twisting and landing awkwardly. Seen too many needless injuries and having had a dog that used to chase birds, not something I want to encourage!!
 
Cinnamontoast said:
I’d advocate keeping the ball throwing, actually. It’s been a saviour for us, that and dummy/scent work. If Zak is searching for a ball, he ignores other dogs, so they and he are safe.

The annexe sounds perfect, although I’d be popping daughter and dog in there and keeping Stan in his own safe house. Won’t he be stressed being apart from you/out of the main house?
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Yes in an ideal world so would I, but dog wants to be with daughter and daughter wants to be with me, which is usually in the kitchen! We'll manage to sort things out though, lucky to have plenty of space. Daughter can ball throw to her heart's content out in the paddocks whist Stan has his time in the kitchen with me!
 
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