Advice needed - Want to PREVENT seperation anxiety

Joanna710

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Several years ago I used to ride a mare who suffered from extreme separation anxiety, to the point that she was a danger to herself and anything around her that wasn't her stable mate. After witnessing her behavior becoming increasingly out of hand, I swore never to let one of my animals become that obsessive.

I have had my new horse for nearly 2 months now, and keep him on a quiet livery yard where I already know several of the liveries. He is currently in a section of my friend's field, separated from her mares by electric fencing, and we're hoping to re-introduce them as soon as the worst of the grass has lost it's goodness (he has been out with them already however they have all been split up and put on reduced grazing to prevent laminitis). Meanwhile, my friend's mares have been becoming increasingly mischievous due to hunger, and keep finding ways to break through the electric fencing, leaving my gelding stuck in his section whilst they gallop to the furthest corner of the lush field.

This happened again this morning, while I was at work, and so another livery friend rushed to bring my boy in as he was "going mental" on his own. She kindly brought in one of the escaped mares to keep him company whilst they repaired the fencing. Whilst I appreciate her concern and really value her as a friend, I personally would have left my horse to deal with the situation and calm down on his own, so that he can learn to survive for 30 minutes without needing the company of other horses.

Is it unreasonable for me to think this? As all of the mares also belong to the one friend, she often chooses to bring my gelding in with them so he is not left on his own. I haven't posted this to have a whinge about my friends, as they truly have my horse's best interests at heart, but I am just concerned that reinforcing his stressy behaviour will only cause his seperation anxiety to worsen, as it is currently what I would describe as very mild.

I am planning to ask them to just leave my horse out on his own if they ever need to bring the others in. He can't hurt himself in his current field and I want him to learn that being apart from other horses is no big deal. Suggestions would be hugely appreciated, I don't want to alienate anyone by telling them what I think, and thought I'd check general opinions on here before speaking to anyone about it.

Sunday roast dinner to anyone who gets this far :o
 
I agree, I wouldn't want people taking it upon themselves to bring my horse in if it was stressing, unless of course it had hurt itself! but like you I am on a small yard, well tiny infact, just my 2 big horses and 2 shetlands (which I only got a month ago) but I don't want the 2 big horses getting too attached to each other, so to start with I would take my mare out and give him a big feed and have friend sit near by to make sure he didn't cause any harm to himself and then just take the mare away for short periods, increasing the length of time each time! and having my friend further away each time!

I then left him on his own and he had a bit of a run around but by the time I got back he was happily eating and was pleased to see my mare! I feel less guilty now I have the sheltands but they need to deal with it!
 
Hi, just a thought but is it better to be there the 1st few times your horse is left on his own (either in yard or out?).
As a YO, I prefer to keep stress levels down & if a horse or pony had 'issues' then I'd try to alleviate them where possible - for the horses sake and my own sanity :)

Worth asking YO if maybe she is ok with you bringing your gelding in for a morning - maybe while you clean tack, have picnic - whatever - then you can see his response to being away from field mates.
If all ok then try same in field - when you are there.

Its a lot of responsibility for someone else to take on if the owner is not there.
Even if a field is 'safe' that doesn't stop horses being horses & slipping over, jumping fences, crashing fences etc etc

Hope it works out for you :)
 
It is difficult. I only have two who are pair bonded so can be more of a nightmare. I can leave one in the field without worry but the other just trashes the place if I try to leave him. However, once in their stables, I can leave the other without any issue.

I prefer to bring them in to be safe rather than sorry as even though the field is safe, they can damage themselves being idiotic. How would you feel if you horse injures himself when he is left outside alone? Or dare I say learns to jump out?

I would never leave one horse out on its own if I was bringing other horses in.
 
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Unfortunately some horses with separation anxiety will actually get worse if you just leave them to it so I think your friend did the right thing. He may have calmed down eventually this time but the next time could be worse. What would you have thought if our friend had left the horse out on his own and he had tried to jump a fence or gate and injured himself?
 
Several years ago I used to ride a mare who suffered from extreme separation anxiety, to the point that she was a danger to herself and anything around her that wasn't her stable mate. After witnessing her behavior becoming increasingly out of hand, I swore never to let one of my animals become that obsessive.

I have had my new horse for nearly 2 months now, and keep him on a quiet livery yard where I already know several of the liveries. He is currently in a section of my friend's field, separated from her mares by electric fencing, and we're hoping to re-introduce them as soon as the worst of the grass has lost it's goodness (he has been out with them already however they have all been split up and put on reduced grazing to prevent laminitis). Meanwhile, my friend's mares have been becoming increasingly mischievous due to hunger, and keep finding ways to break through the electric fencing, leaving my gelding stuck in his section whilst they gallop to the furthest corner of the lush field.

This happened again this morning, while I was at work, and so another livery friend rushed to bring my boy in as he was "going mental" on his own. She kindly brought in one of the escaped mares to keep him company whilst they repaired the fencing. Whilst I appreciate her concern and really value her as a friend, I personally would have left my horse to deal with the situation and calm down on his own, so that he can learn to survive for 30 minutes without needing the company of other horses.

Is it unreasonable for me to think this? As all of the mares also belong to the one friend, she often chooses to bring my gelding in with them so he is not left on his own. I haven't posted this to have a whinge about my friends, as they truly have my horse's best interests at heart, but I am just concerned that reinforcing his stressy behaviour will only cause his seperation anxiety to worsen, as it is currently what I would describe as very mild.

I am planning to ask them to just leave my horse out on his own if they ever need to bring the others in. He can't hurt himself in his current field and I want him to learn that being apart from other horses is no big deal. Suggestions would be hugely appreciated, I don't want to alienate anyone by telling them what I think, and thought I'd check general opinions on here before speaking to anyone about it.

Sunday roast dinner to anyone who gets this far :o


My old boy got REALLY bad if a certain mare was taken away from him - to the point where we had to get the fire brigade to come and pick him up once after he galloped around so much he exhausted himself. He'd have nosebleeds from screaming so much, and I got to the point where I was going to have to put him down.

The best thing in the end, was to just leave him to get on with it. At the time, I had him on a yard rather than at home, and I'm certain it got so bad because the other liveries kept ignoring my instructions to just leave him to sort himself out, rather than bring him in and make sure he was with the mare.

In the end, I left him to it for two days, and he realised that he wasn't going to die, and nobody was going to come and get him, so he got over himself. He's absolutely fine now, and can be left on his own without drama!
 
I wish people up my old yard had been as nice to my boy! He was going mad on his own one day, ended up slipping, falling over onto his side and almost skidded under the fence. To get him used to being on his own I used to turn him out first, gradually waiting longer before turning the rest out- he can now survive a small amount of time on his own, but as soon as he starts stressing he just gets worse and worse- he recently put his back out very badly from falling over in the field.
It honestly depends on the horse- some will get over it if you leave them, some will get worse. Some will never be able to be on their own for long, and other will be fine. Or, if they're intelligent and lazy like my mums horse, they'll be fine until they see someone watching them, then they'll decide to run about!! :p
 
Agree with the fuzzy furry. Sometimes they can be so wrapped up in stressing about the situation they fail to notice they haven't come to any harm.
 
Hi, just a thought but is it better to be there the 1st few times your horse is left on his own (either in yard or out?).

Worth asking YO if maybe she is ok with you bringing your gelding in for a morning - maybe while you clean tack, have picnic - whatever - then you can see his response to being away from field mates.
If all ok then try same in field - when you are there.

Its a lot of responsibility for someone else to take on if the owner is not there.
Even if a field is 'safe' that doesn't stop horses being horses & slipping over, jumping fences, crashing fences etc etc

Hope it works out for you :)

Thanks for your advice :) He has been out on his own on multiple occasions, and was kept in a separate field which shared a fence with the mares for the first 3 weeks after he arrived. He showed little to no anxiety if they ever strayed away from his sight, and soon settled back down to graze. There are 9 other horses on the same yard, all in fields that my horse can see, so it is not as if the four mares are the only company he has. If this was the case than I would 100% want him to be brought in with the others. He is a lot more settled whilst in his stable alone now, however this was an issue which we overcame in the first few weeks of me having him.

I will deffo take your advice though, next time all the mares are in I will put him out alone and sit with him for a while. I forgot to mention in my first post that there were other reasons for me not wanting him brought in when I am not there. My friend called this morning to tell me about what happened and to let me know that my horse had been trapped between the fence and the gate as she tried to bring him in. He was not harmed, and his rug only has a slight tear which I can probably patch, but as you can imagine this has made him a little more wary of the gate and he now tries to rush through it. Also I keep receiving bitchy messages on the communal white board in the barn telling me to remember to re-connect the electric fencing once I have brought my gelding in (I have to lead him through a tunnel and there is a strand of fencing that must cross the tunnel to energize the other fields on the yard). I always make sure to connect the fencing however others who handle my horse are occasionally forgetting, so the blame still gets landed on me :(
 
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