advice on confidence when riding

iamlovingmyjob

iamlovingmyjob

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i have been riding for 4 years in may and yet again i have lost my confidence. Last summer i was fine, i was getting bombed off and i was fine but now i am racked with nerves, i have always been nervous but not as bad as now(ask JJ, wildpinksalmon and bex7 about my confidence issues) i wont even ride bella at college who is the safest one there. i was even nervous about riding bex7 bert in the school on saturday who i have loads of time

Has anyone got any advice/tips on how to gain confidence, i want to get it sorted as its really getting me down and i feel a failure and useless, it brings me to tears often

Please help
Thanks
Emily
 
Aww, don't beat yourself up about it. What is it exactly that you are afraid of?
smile.gif
 
i know a lady who was very nervous, but she got some good lessons... and now a month on she is happy to hack out on her own walk and trotting. so perhaps invest in regular lessons with a good paitent instuctor
 
Oh dear, it can be easy to lose confidence even for no apparant reason, but has something happened lately to frighten you?
Perhaps you could have your lesson on the lunge so that someone else has a little control? It may be that you need that extra bit of reassurance.
Other than that, don't be too hard on yourself, take time out and just be around the horses without worrying about riding them, you may find that it helps.
Good luck!
 
theres your problem...you are worrying about falling off which makes you nervous when riding.

This might work? Ride a horse whilst someone is lunging/leading you. (i know this is going to sound REALLY silly!!) and sit there with your hands on your head, lean back and lay on the horses bum...etc...all the exercises you used to do when you were younger!! I know it sounds silly but it makes you trust your horse!! You need a nice horse that stands still and does as it's told, then gently when you feel more confident get on others.
 
Well, after that happening to me not so long ago I can certainly sympathise. All you can do is think positive really.
1) Horse probably won't spook.
2) Horse may spook and you will not fall off.
3) Horse spooks, you fall off, are okay and get back on.

It easy to think of the worse case scenario, not so easy to see the best case scenario.

Just think how good you will feel if 2) (above) happens.
Lots of luck xx
 
QR;

1st - you ARE NOT A FAILURE and you are not useless! everyone suffers from loss of confidence at some point in time, it is only natural to have highs and lows.

2nd - you have identified where your confidence is lacking, spooking and falling off. this is the first step to overcoming them, you know what makes you nervous so you can work on those points.

my friend has got back into horses after selling her complete nutter, and she was so nervous of her new horse she threw up before she caught him. she was quite happy to never ride again, but 2 years on she is competeing at everything.

i'm not saying its gonna happen quickly, nor will it be easy. my friend went right back to basics (ie walking on a lunge doing simple breathing exercises) and took things at her own pace. dont feel like you are out there to compete with everyone else, ultimately you will become a better and more confident rider if you progress in small managable chunks (my friend had goals, like to simply bring her horse in, tack up, get on, walk round the yard, and finish; easliy achievable)

sorry have rambled on far too long, just one useful tip remaining-singing! it opens up your airways and makes you concentrate on your breathing, which in turn relaxes you. my friend and i hack out a lot and we do a lot of singing, its bloody awful and we're tone deaf! lol
 
know how you feel - lost all of mine last summer - end up crying hysterically down the phone to my best mate

My advice is if you can get an instructor who is happy to work at your level and just encourage you, even if it takes months. I wanted to get my jumping confidence back so I started with 2 ft x -poles, to some that would seem like an utter waste of time but for me it was an achievement purely because I riding over them with going arhhhh it's a pole.

It does take time so dont get too down about it. And you're NOT a failure - everyone has blips and because you're wanting to do something about it - shows that you're not a failure, you're not giving up

~squidgey hug~ - you'll get there
 
Have you tried using Bach Flower Remedies. Larch is good for building up confidence. It will cost you about £5.60 from Holland and Barratt. It may take a few weeks to help. KJH
 
I have major confidence issues too, but I've learnt that it happens to everyone from time to time and you really have to not get down on yourself because of it.

When I first got my new pony my friend put me on the lunge and made me do things like lift my knees up and out, and ride without stirrups with my arms held out to the side. She then had me doing Around the World - O.K, I felt silly: grown woman on a pony doing around the world, but it did help my confidence.

I try not to push myself out of my comfort zone all the time - it helps some people but not me! I do what I feel safe doing, and set myself little milestones, then give myself a big pat on the back when I achieve them.

You will feel better, just take it one step at a time, do little things and remember to breathe!!!
 
I think everyone has given good advice. I would just add - be kind to yourself - don't try and scare yourself and feel proud when you do something that you thought would be difficult.

I am feeling a bit nervous after coming off last month. The other day we came across a pheasant just in front of us and I pushed Spike on to walk past sensibly, and I feel proud of that, because for a moment I thought 'maybe it would be easier to go around', but thought I would just give it a go, and we did it. I feel proud of that, even though it's nothing huge.
 
agree with above advice, two months ago i used to feel physically sick at thought of taking my horse out (after he had bolted off several times). what has helped is trying to think about all the tiny things he does well and congratulate him overenthusiastically, and myself. now when we hack we deliberately go up to fluttering plastic bags, and i tell him 'oh how interesting a bag' and off we go to investigate, it sounds really silly!
what also has helped is knowing it's ok to get off when you don't feel safe, i think people are ofter forced to carry on when either they or the horse are scared, it's ok to get off and lead him past things or reassure him if he's flighty
in hand excercises have helped me feel more in control, and a friend has been coming out with us to help advise and build confidence.
make a list of all the things you can do well with horses and remember this when you worry about riding
smile.gif
 
Think most people have been there, so everybody is right - don't beat yourself up, feeling this way is pretty normal.

Different things work for different people - I was amazed by how much I could do when I stopped dwelling on feeling nervous, perhaps don't over-analyse being nervous, try to take a deep breath and remind yourself instead that you like riding.

Also I find it helps if the instructor talks/gives you enough to think about while you are riding so that you forget to be anxious because you are concentrating on something else.

If the nerves are worse before you get on, have you tried giving yourself a word like calm, to repeat over and over out loud? That is from a book by Jane Savoie book, it works!

Last resort - horses are big, strong, might spook and we could fall off and get hurt. Being scared isn't stupid, it's sensible. You have ot accept some level of risk if you ride. Perhaps knowing all that means riding isn't really what you want to do?
 
I would suggest taking things slowly - little by little gently pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and celebrating every little achievement you make, however small or 'insignificant'. Stick to what you enjoy - if hacking isn't your thing, stay in the school where you feel safe.

Also echo what others have said about finding a decent instructor who will understand your worries.

And finally, you are not a failure or a quitter if you decide riding isn't for you at the moment - you can always return to it later.

Good luck and hugs from someone who's been there! xxxx
 
Hi Emz,

Am sorry you are lacking confidence. I stand by what I said to yu on Saturday and echo ME above, it is supposed to be enjoyable so stick with what you enjoy.

Unfortunately confidence issues are 100% in the mind, although normally triggered by something physical.

There are two ways to deal with it IMO either softly and gently getting your confidence back or the old kick up the bum and face your fears way. Neither is right or wrong but it needs to be what suits you. I really believe that as you are studying horse care and management at college and there is the option of the ridden element that it would be a good idea to use the instructors and horses you have available to you already and maybe see if they can do some one to one stuff with you to help.

As also said above if you really are not enjoying it there is no shame in having a break for a wee while and seeing if you want to get back into it later. This doesn't mean you cannot still work with or study Horses.

xxxx
 
Bless you, you sound like me a few weeks ago
I lost my confidence completely after buying 2 rearers in a row!!
Tried a lovely horse, but was so nervous about buying him and getting it wrong again. When i finally took th plunge and got him home, i found i was terrified of getting on board.
I sat in my stable in tears, thinking what a huge mistake i had made. For the first 2 weeks all i did was groom him, and even this made me feel sick and i was shaking.
My friend bought me the Ride with confidence book, another mate gave me a confidence CD, and i got a chap to come and ride him in the field fro me. He said i was mad, the horse is soft as a brush. Then he took me for a hack. I swallowed loads of rescue remedy and felt so sick.
When i got back to the yard i felt really pleased with myself, and we are getting there, slowly but surely.
I love my new horse to bits, and am starting to trust him more and more.
Don't rush yourself, and don't feel pressured into doing something till you feel ready. Don't put time scales on things.
You will get there i'm sure. Good luck
xx
 
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