Advice on my situation needed...

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Tonker121

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I'll try and be brief... I was looking for a loan or share at the beginning of summer and a lady I knew was looking to buy but knew she'd need a sharer. We looked at a few horses and she bought one, I share him. Ideal situation really for me as it was at my yard and is a lovely horse who I now love to pieces.

My issue is financial... I pay the horses livery (as suggested by her) which is £115 a month in way of my contribution. At first I was riding 3 times a week, she was riding 3 times a week, she now pays my instructor to ride him once, twice, and sometimes three times a week. She pays £20 a session for this. I appreciate this is a benefit to me in the that the horse is improving a lot but it means that sometimes I only get to ride once, mostly twice a week, which means I dont ever get to practice what I get taught in my weekly lessons. I would bring this up as an issue to the owner, asking her to cut down to maybe once a week but my instructor is a really really good friend of mine and I know needs the money desperately so I dont want to take away any business from her.

I am starting to feel that I pay quite a lot for only riding 2 days a week, especially when I do stable duties most days. I have time to do him and it doesnt bother me doing it as he is in a field with my other horse and I enjoy it but I'm still bringing him in, feeding, grooming etc, not just out of love but because owner isnt around in the mornings.

I recently found out that her other 2 sharers for her other 2 horses pay £60 a month and ride 2 / 3 times a week. As they are outsiders they only do stable duties on their days.

In an ideal situation I would go back to riding 3 days a week, but as I dont see that happening any time soon I would like to start paying less. Do you think I am taking the **** by asking to pay less? More to the point how on earth do I broach the subject with her? She is also now sortof a friend, and in a way bought the horse for me as well as her, treating it very much as "ours" not hers. She is also quite a standoffish person and I dont want to seem rude or cause any tension or seem ungrateful for the opportunity she has given me...

Any ideas? Thanks for reading my ramblings!
 
It sounds like you need to talk and find a way to tell her tactfully what you would like from your share. It should be a two way thing and you are making a significant contribution.

Sounds like she's got it sussed with all her horses being shared and money coming in. I let a girl ride my pony as and when she wants in return for a bit of poo picking - I must have missed a trick!
 
Is she still riding him 3 times a week? In other words, has she taken away your rides in order to give them to an instructor? If she wants the instructor to ride, she should be giving up her rides surely? It's a really bad deal for you, as it seems you're also doing full livery for him and paying for the privilege.
 
She rides him the same amount as I do. I too felt like it should come out of her rides not mine. I know she is keen for me to carry on having lessons (as am I) but I might say that I dont really see the point at the moment as its a waste of money on my part when I dont get to actually practice what I am paying for and that I cant afford it on top of what I pay for him.

Think I'll just have to bite the bullet and say I'm giving her less.
 
Wow - someone's taking advantage of your good nature!

I'd have a quiet, but firm, word if I were you. Why should you suffer financially to help the owner and your riding instructor :confused:
 
Tonker121 said:
She rides him the same amount as I do.
Click to expand...

What, once a week? Or has she still able to ride three times a week? As already said, you're subsidising both her and your instructor friend. Cut down the money definitely, I wouldn't want to pay more than a tenner a week considering all the work you do for him, but don't be surprised if you lose the share altogether.
 
Sorry but a horse being ridden twice in one day is not going to hurt him/her- unless its really strenuous work - just practice when you want too - if the RI has done a load of fast work - then do slow - or vice a versa.

Horses stand up to more than an hour a day's work - honest

Its just us we namby pamby them - which is why most are over weight and naughty

:)
 
She rides twice a week mostly.

Thanks Gingerwitch - I had been thinking this. He does occaisionally get ridden twice a day, normally on a day where RI rides him owner will hack. I think I am like you say quite nambypamby in my approach and just worried as he is a youngster that it is too much mentally for him... I will try this out next week and let her know that I plan to do this more as I need to practice what I'm doing in my lessons.
 
You are being taken the p*** out of - I would find another share if I were you.

Fwiw, I hated sharing - just felt like I was being used. And i think you are !!
 
So not only does it sound like you are paying the full amount of livery, you are also looking after the horse most days (mucking out, feeding and grooming). I'd say she is definitely taking the p***.

First of all, if the owner wants an instructor to ride the horse then that should be on her days, not yours.

Normally with a paying sharer, the sharer either pays a set amount for the number of days they ride (e.g. £10 per day) or an agreed amount which would be roughly half the amount of livery and sometimes half for shoeing. The sharer would then look after the horse on the days they ride but not on any other day.

Its sounds like you need to either come to a more formal agreement on which days you are going to ride and look after the horse, or reduce the amount of money you pay to take into account the days you do the mucking out etc. for her.

I agree that horses are perfectly capable of being ridden twice a day, but if the instructor is schooling the horse hard then I would recommend just going for a hack as the second ride of the day.

Good luck on getting something sorted.
 
Why on earth are you paying full livery?!

I paid half livery and half feeding bills (which was less over summer). This was for as much riding as I wanted. All be it a friend, but I'd expect same money and less days (set/2/3) with anyone else.

Sit down, get a proper agreement on paper, of how many times a week/what days you get to ride, price and responsibilities. If she is unreasonable, walk. There are plenty of horses out there to share and at the moment you're basically paying for your own and getting no use.
 
If i was you - and you are forking this type of money out - seriously look at getting your own - i honestly would.

I know riding twice a day won't hurt a horse - butIi did not realise he was a baby - and if the RI is doing a full session with him schooling - then you may be only able to hack, else it is a bit unfair and you dont want to ruin his/her good nature - as well you know.

If he/she were more mature then i would have no problem suggesting twice a day rides.

But i really think you ought to get your own
 
I have to say £115 for once or twice a week sounds like a lot to me. Make arrangements to meet her for a cup of tea at the yard and explain calmly that you'd like to go back to riding the number of days you did previously and wanted to check with her that she was OK with him being ridden twice a day if necessary. If she says no then you're in a great place to start negotiation of who rides when.
Do you know why the instructor is riding? to further the horses education or because the instructor needs the cash and she is helping them out by paying them to ride? If she justs wants a good reason to give money to her friend then you could suggest she pays for you to have more lessons ?
 
How old is the horse. Has she said not to ride if the RI has been on him or was that your decision. Definitely broach the subject. Ita far too dear by a mile for what you are getting. I assume you'd prefer to ride more rather than pay less?
 
What I can't get my head round is why the horse's owner bought another horse, knowing she'd need a sharer - when she already had two horses, also with sharers? Surely it would have been better for her to spend more time with/the extra money on her existing horses? I could be completely wrong, but it sounds to me like she's trying to make a profit out of you!
 
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