Advice on teaching kids (it's gotten kind of long, sorry!)

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Racing_Gal

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I teach a 9 year old girl every Sat. She can talk for England!!! She's been coming to me for a little over a year now but she has barely mastered rising trot! I just can't shut her up, I'm sure she doesn't listen to thing I'm saying and I get the impression she just wants to ride so she can boast about it at school.

I stand there going 'heels down, look where your going...' and she just wants to tell me about her sleepovers and her christmas present list!!! I have tried pushing her onto slightly harder things...I've had her going over trotting poles and around bending poles, doing some games etc which makes her consentrate for while but then we're back to the sleepover stories or the trip inthe cinema stories! I was doing allot of lessons on the lunge as it meant I could keep her close to me. She was ok for a while, we were doing 'Simon says' etc but then she's back to the talking. When I let her off the lunge she goes all over the place. We have no school, I teach in the field, I have an arena marked out with dressage markers and boards but she thinks it's fun to get Tazz to step over the boards. I made up a game where she has to keep Tazz inside the markers but this didn't work either! She is fearless so when Tazz does a runner with her she just thinks it's funny! She is yet to fall off, I keep thinking that if she did come off once or twice maybe she would consentrate more but I would hate for her to get hurt, she almost slid of once and I ran over and pushed her back on! We went out a walk on the roads today, I have her on the lead as I can't trust her to steer properly (have been out on the roads once without a lead rein but she was all over the place and I ended up having to hold onto the rein anyway)...were walking along, she's telling me about her new dress..I turned round...arms are flighing everwhere, she hasn't got hold of the reins!

I have told her god knows how many times how dangrous the roads can be, about consentrating and listening so she can get better, I even took her to a show thinking maybe the thought of winning may make her try harder but it didn't. She came last in all her classes but said it was ok as she could tell her friends that she had won and they would belive her!! I have spoken to both the parents and I have heard them both tell her she must listen to me but it hasn't worked. I'm begining to wonder if it is worth doing this every Saturday, having my lovely Tazz pulled about like this all for £20?? Any advice would be great...sorry this is sooooo long!!
 
Ditto, the fact that you are thinking about it and putting in on here really makes me think it’s not worth the £20! Especially when there are kids out there that really do want to learn and will listen.
 
I've been thinking of telling them I can't do it anymore, thing is that £20 pays for feed for a week. The parents are very good family friends, they run a scout group that uses our land for their summer camp, I don't want to make things uneasy if you know what I mean? FLAMIN' KIDS!!! haha
 
Id keep letting her ride. Its got to be hard that she dosnt actually want to learn, but if its not that much bother and the £20 is useful keep letting her plod around!

Not much point trying to teach her anything if she's not interested. She might start to become more interested if you give up teaching her and just let her plod about.

I let a 9 yr old ride my pony a while ago, i was offered money for her to ride her once a week. She was so interested and took on board any advice she was given.

I would easily let her ride every week but my mare is 4 and she wouldnt ever be able to come off the lead rein as she is forward going, she needs riding before the girl gets on her. I will let her have a go every now and again.

Its a shame she's not local to you as she was a joy to have on my pony!
 
I love teaching, it's so hard when your not getting results though. While I'm happy for her to plod about for an hour once a week I'm getting worried that the parents might start questioning why she's not getting better, although I have spoken to them and they sometimes watch the lessons so they must see whats happening. It's just abit disheartening(sp!) I guess. I started when I was 7 and I always wanted to be better than the others and was always asking to do new things, she just doesn't seem interested, I surgested we took a break over the winter but she cried and said she didn't want to stop riding! I duno?!
 
Is there any way you can take her (and your pony??) to join in a group lesson??
She'll get told off by the instructor if she tries to chat and will have to keep up with the other riders - might make her realise she's not progressing much and want to get better?? Threaten a group lesson every so often so she has to prove to the other kids how much better she's got?!
 
I have a few practical bits of advice but TBH she does sound like a brat...

Firstly I would be very clear that I would not engage in conversation with her about non riding lesson topics. So if she started to tell me about a sleepover I would first try waiting for her to finish, then say something non-comital like "that's nice" then immediately give her an instruction about riding. If that didn't work I would just say to her "tell me about it afterwards, now is riding lesson time so we need to talk about your riding". Finally if that didn't work I would just interupt her. Sounds rude but kids do know when they are being 'cheeky' and they will respect you for not allowing it.


I would also be much firmer with her about controlling the pony. After all it is your pony that is being 'spoiled' by her bad riding. I would tell her this. "if you don't stop letting Taz step over the boards, she is not going to learn to stay inside them. You are spoiling her". If she continued to ignore you, pull her into the middle and tell her she either has to do as you say, or get off the pony. You can explain to the parents that you made her dismount as she wouldn't listen to you and it simply isn't safe.

Tell her if you catch her not holding the reins anymore, she will have to be lead everywhere (preferably by her mum rather than by you) as she isn't safe.

I think you need to be really strict with her. I know it is hard but honestly, she will respect you for it. It sounds as if she has you down for a bit of a softy, someone who will give her all the attention she wants regardless of how she behaves and will listen to her endlessly regardles of what she says. It is easy to get into this mindset with children when you are being paid to teach them - you almost feel that you have thrown away your rights because you are being paid! but you aren't being paid to be nice to her, you're being paid to teach her! If you get really tough, she will either quit or straighten her ideas up - either way you kinda win LOL good luck
 
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Is there any way you can take her (and your pony??) to join in a group lesson??
She'll get told off by the instructor if she tries to chat and will have to keep up with the other riders - might make her realise she's not progressing much and want to get better?? Threaten a group lesson every so often so she has to prove to the other kids how much better she's got?!

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Excellent Idea..I will look into this straight away!

SWW everything you say makes perfect sense. I am to soft with her and I do feel I should not tell her off as I am been paid. I just ingore her when she's talking baout non-riding stuff but I use your advice in future ie, tell me later. Thanks so much for your help!!
 
This made me chuckle as I came back from hacking out with my 7 year old son this morning and said to my OH, "It's a good thing he doesn't listen to a word I say because I really lost my temper with him today".
frown.gif


I cursed, ranted, called him utterly useless and told him the pony was totally wasted on him and that I was fed up to the back teeth trying to help him learn to ride - and just when I paused for breath (thinking maybe I'd been a bit hard on him really
crazy.gif
) I looked round, and there he is staring up at the sky, saying "It's really nice riding in the forest with you Mummy"
shocked.gif


The point is, he is enjoying it, and the pony isn't really coming to any harm (I don't let him beat him, yank him in the mouth, boot him in the ribs or anything) so I think as long as your girl is enjoying her riding and the parents are prepared to pay for it, I would let her carry on.

Now, if she was gobby, rude, unpleasant ... I would get rid asap
grin.gif
 
I have a child very similar that I teach and I have come to the conclusion that as long as the child is enjoying riding, even if they are not particularly progressing, don't worry too much about her lack of concentration. If it is paying the bills and she is happy, so be it.

I would get very cross with the child I taught, and admonish her when she didn't listen, but it always fell on deaf ears and she would gaze into the middle horizon if I got too technical.

Then suddenly this year (she is just 11) she has started listening to me, just when I had given up. Maybe it is age related, but also I think they are under such pressure at school to perform and concentrate that they really want something that is fun to do at weekends, and they don't really want to have to learn something else.

From what you say you are doing a good job thinking up new ways to keep her entertained, maybe stay clear of roads and hacking until she is safer, but otherwise keep doing what you are doing.

Maybe she is a chatterbox, or has a short attention span, or just simply wants to impress you as you are her instructor. Try a compromise - let her tell you a few things, then give her something to do. The parents will be so happy she is enjoying the riding, and probably aware she is a chatty little thing, so I bet they would be mortified if you said you didn't want to teach her anymore because she wasn't listening.

You sound like a great instructor, keep it up
smile.gif
The chatty but brave ones are a delight to teach, eventually!
 
Who's in charge? You or her? Her.

Who are her parents paying to be in charge? You.

So stop all this thinking you can't take control and tell her off because you are being paid.

If her parents just wanted her to have pony ride they'd take her to the beach. they are paying for her to learn.

Stop letting her act like such a dippy brat. At 9 years old she is big enough to control herself - a toddler gets carried away chatting and loses concentration, but she is just playing you up.

Next lesson tell her - you are here to learn to ride. So - no more chatting about anything other than riding. Listen to what I'm teaching you and do your best. No more messing about not doing what I'm telling you.

If you do any of these things then the lesson is over.

Soon as she starts, that's it, immediately lesson is finished, off she gets and goes home.

(P.s. talk to the parents first and warn them that at the moment she is dangerous and you hope this will cure her! Then they should back you up saying 'well it's your own fault for not doing what you were told' if she moans.

You'll only have to do it once and she will get the message.
 
Sounds like this child does not have anyone to talk to at home. I would not drive yourself mad, just put on lead rein take for a walk out let her talk and talk back to her and take her money, when she is ready to learn she will start to ask you what she should do, this way you stay sane you keep earning, you give her what she wants until she is ready for more, your pony gets some exercise. If parents question it then tell them their daughter does not appear to want to learn but is happy to be taken for a walk out on the pony so that is what you are doing.

i would say that in a while she will be ready to learn or give up.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Who's in charge? You or her? Her.

Who are her parents paying to be in charge? You.

So stop all this thinking you can't take control and tell her off because you are being paid.

If her parents just wanted her to have pony ride they'd take her to the beach. they are paying for her to learn.

Stop letting her act like such a dippy brat. At 9 years old she is big enough to control herself - a toddler gets carried away chatting and loses concentration, but she is just playing you up.

Next lesson tell her - you are here to learn to ride. So - no more chatting about anything other than riding. Listen to what I'm teaching you and do your best. No more messing about not doing what I'm telling you.

If you do any of these things then the lesson is over.

Soon as she starts, that's it, immediately lesson is finished, off she gets and goes home.

(P.s. talk to the parents first and warn them that at the moment she is dangerous and you hope this will cure her! Then they should back you up saying 'well it's your own fault for not doing what you were told' if she moans.

You'll only have to do it once and she will get the message.

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As someone who has taught(sailing not riding) then to my mind this is the winner and one i have used to great effect.
 
Hmmm
Has she done any work without stirrups? Would your horse cope with it?
Anyway way you can put a neck strap on and then take away her stirrups?
I taught a little child who never concentrated, looked all over the place, at the sky etc, I took away her stirrups so then she lacked balance and had to spend the entire time listening to me to make sure she didn't fall off!

If she has done no stirrups or it doesn't work, then I think I'd be firm and tough with her.

Slightly different but one of my pupils tried to kick me (aged 5), when he was riding and I was stood next to him, because I hadn't let him canter. I put on a big bright smile said we were playing a game "feet out of stirrups, lean forward swing your right leg over and oh look! you've dismounted! You can go sit by the gate until you're ready to say sorry, because you made the pony sad by kicking me, and the pony doesn't want you to continue your lesson".
The parent's were around, but he came back a few moments later when everyone else was having fun and apologised, remounted the pony, and ever since has behaved and been good as gold, listened well and is a really neat little rider.

I think sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, and taking the tough approach is needed so they respect you.
 
Heels down, Shorten your reins, look between the ears, sit up, shoulders back...zzzzzzzz. lol.
Have you explained why she has to do these things? It was never explained to me. When I teach I try and explain why we do things like they're adults. Yes I feel mad teaching an 8 year old the idea behind lateral work and stride length and impulsion.
I must say in my opinion the order people in general are taught how to ride is really odd and prescribed. My Bf can not trot so we went walk...canter, jumping, and when we are ready we'll come back to trotting (trots a dodgy area generally as my horse is half hackney so bouncy ride and we've done alot of side-saddle and i'm not a fan of trotting side-saddle so he is quite used to trot being a taboo pace). So back to relevant topic if steering isnt her thing stay on the lunge just move over it. Lead rein jumping? maybe.
I have always talked alot as you can tell doesnt mean I'm not concentrating. Just means I like talking.
 
I teach two children (not including my daughter) every Saturday. They stay as long as they can and I made it clear from the start that they are riding living creatures so if they do something wrong not only is it dangerous it will probably be painful for the pony too. Before they ride they groom and then afterwards they help poopick and help out. I get £15 between the two of them.

If it was me, I'd get her doing things like bending poles, small jumps and poles. If she is as bad as you say her lack of steering will show up, she will get very frustrated and she will recognise why she needs to concentrate in her lessons.

Does she come just for the lesson or does she do other stable jobs too? I've found that by getting my kids to do some chores they appreciate the pony much better. They do enjoy riding together as well so, recommend the group idea.
 
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