Advice on whether to sell horse following divorce

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Murphs_Mum

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Hi, I have not posted on here in a long time!! Just really wanted some constructive advice from people who don't know me and don't know my horse. I have had a tough twelve months, culminating in me getting divorced and having to move back in with the parents for a short while
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. Things are pretty tight financially but I have accomodation sorted finally and should be moving soon. However, I just keep going round and round in circles about my horse. I have had him four years and in all honesty he is a total gem, the sort impossible to find and I know I would never be able to replace him, but, I am a police officer I work shifts, I have no time and he is pretty much going to have to live out this winter. I rarely ride (in fact a woman rides him a few nights a week for me) and I don't really miss it if I'm honest, financially I guess I am paying out a lot of money just for someone else to ride. The problem is I adore this horse, and I am terrified if I sold him that he would just be sold on and on or end up in a riding school which would not suit him. I can afford to keep him but I am going without and life would be easier without the cost. The other thing is I am unsure what he would be worth if I was to sell - 15.2hh, MW Cob, Blue Roan, 14yrs, lives to jump/hunt, lovely hack, fantastic in traffic, moves well but would hate to be in a school constantly. Good to do in every way, safe but fun, would be perfect for someone who had lost nerve or just wanted a safe fun family horse. If I did sell he would go with everything he owns. I think it would definately be giving up for good. The other option I guess would be to loan but I'm unsure of that too
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Any advice gratefully recieved
 
Poor you - you sound as if you've had a rotten time. Hopefully things will be on the 'up' soon.

A couple of things spring to mind.

A police officer's wage is a pretty decent one - so why not have him on part livery which will help you with the shift patterns.

Get a sharer, or loan him?

Or if you did decide to sell - then I imagine he'd be snapped up. At 14 his age is against him. However, he sounds like the type of horse everyone wants. And you could probably be very picky about ensuring the right home for him.
 
I understand about the shift work - it can make routine difficult but equally opens up scope for doing stuff during the day when other unfortunate people are at work!

You sould very low, understandably. I would be inclined to put off any permanent decision until you are sure that you have a clear view of what the future holds for you and a more positive outlook - in the meantime, find a sharer who can contribute to costs - this may be a route to a full loan with somebody you feel you can trust.

Try asking amongst your colleagues too!
 
Sorry to hear about your problems.

You say that you have someone that rides him do they contribute anything towards him? Would it possible to find a sharer or even two if you aren't sure about selling. That way you won't be paying in total for him.

If not I have no idea what he'd be worth I'm affraid, but I'm sure there'd be someone out there wanting to give him a long term home. But it may not be easy to find straight off.

Good luck
 
He sounds like a prime candidate for a sharer, safe, nice, good hack - you would have to be picky but if you found the right person you could ask for a financial contribution. and he would be being ridden as well, rather than you paying.

My only real advice would be not to do anything hasty - I'm sure that you are feeling a bit bruised from your awful year so don't do anything that you might regret.

You could also consider a full loan - that would give you a break and you could get him back if you wanted to, menaing that you could be sure that he won't end up being sold on. Again, it would need looking into carefully and you would need to be picky but it could work.

If I were richer I would look after him for you, he sounds like a lovely type
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Would you like to transfer to Norfolk and I will be your unpaid groom!
 
Sorry you have been having such a rough time - I hope things start to pick up for you now.
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Your horse sounds like an absolute gem, and just the sort everyone is always looking for - would you consider putting him out on loan, as you may well find that once your life is more settled that you do really miss your riding.

I hope you can find a happy solution.
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It's not a bad salary but dropping from two salaries to one is! That was my worry because he is 14 would anyone actually be interested in him. The woman who rides him does pay for his shoes but doesn't help with chores at all, my ex used to help with turnout, bringing in when my shifts fell wrong.

I think I am mad, he is such a good horse, he went to a show for the first time in years recently and came second in the working hunter (and he doesn't even look like one!) the judge was absolutely cooing over how genuine he was. I think in my head I just feel like giving up riding totally and it's certainly not his fault.
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Maybe I should serious consider loaning him, but again due to his age that means when I get him back he is even older and harder to sell.
 
14 isn't that old IMO, horses go on a lot longer these days although it might drop the price you get for him. He sounds great, he really does.

Do you have a horsey colleague that could help with him? That might help with the shift thing.

You could always find grass livery and turn him away for the winter - he won't mind a holiday and you can get your head a bit straighter than make a calmer decision in spring.

ETA: come to Norfolk, I'll look after him for you! It's lovely here
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I don't think you should make any hasty decisions firstly. I think also that your horse has probably helped you through your divorce?

Your horse does not really care how often he is ridden I wouldn't imagine, so don't feel that he is going to waste if you don't have time to do him. Can you get more of a contribution from your sharer - more towards livery etc?

If you do sell, I would think he would be worth around £3-3.5 K if he is a genuine sort who is a family horse but capable of doing RC stuff - they are like golddust!

Maybe if you could fully loan him out for a year and then see where you are? He won't care if he has the winter turned out in the field not doing much, it will most likely be easier to loan to someone come springtime, as not many people want to take horses on at the start of winter
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He sounds like the kind of thing a young teenage sharer would die for. Could you think about putting a few ads up in your local tack shops etc, advertising for a sharer? You could even put possible full loan for the right person? You could find someome to pay some of the costs towards his keep, and solve the problem of having no one to bring him in etc when your working the difficult shifts?
 
Ooh no....dont do anything too hasty, I'm sure once you are back on your feet you would regret it. You've had a crap year and now the only way is onwards and upwards
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Personally I feel a sharer or loan would be ideal.

14 is no age.....I wouldnt worry about that.
 
He sounds lovely! If you ever think of moving to Berkshire let me know and I'll be there to help!
Seriously though I'm sure there will be plenty of people who would love to share him or even loan him. Also even if he was 20 someone like me would still buy one of him for reliable fun/hunting/happy hacker duties. I'm not sure horses devalue that much once they get over 14-15 years till they get to 20-25 if they're the solid reliable type they're always in demand.
I think if you're unsure you need to keep him whether that's loan, share or out to grass until you know for certain that you want to give him up, otherwise you might regret it.
 
what about getting 2 sharers? That way you could have him one day a week so if you didn't ride it wouldn't matter. Also its less of a financial blow if one sharer leaves than a loaner giving him back.

There is also no shame in selling him, he has been well loved by you and would be well loved if you found the right home.

Good luck with your decision
 
He sounds like a lovely horse. See if you can find a loan home for 6-12 months. Maybe someone has an injured horse and they need a temporary loan and could take him to Pony Club, riding club events, etc.

If you could find someone local then you could keep an eye on him and what he is doing. I think if you put an ad in a local tack shop, or ask friends in Pony Club, riding club, etc. you would soon find someone suitable.

Take note of all the horror stories of loan horses. Have a proper agreement stating where he is to be kept and what he can do (not hunting if you don't want) and I would want him fairly close if possible so you can visit occasionally and have a land line as well as a mobile phone contact (actually your job should help here!).

There are some lovely loan homes around, I put my mare out on loan to someone who's horse had gone lame and they hadn't any more to buy another one and it did me a favour as she did more work that I could have given her.

It would give you a break and time to decide if you really want to continue to ride or not. Finding something to replace him might take a lot of doing if you sold him and then regretted it.
 
He sounds like my old girl and I really think you would regret making a hasty decision. Nor is he that old - we took Velvet on when she was 15 and nearly nine years later, despite the limitations age has placed on her, we are still having great fun and the kids totally adore her. I fyou want a loan home, I would happily take him for a while or even permanently. My daughter wants to take Velvet over and I would love something younger! PM me if its some thing you want to talk about but PLEASE take your time!
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Sorry to hear what a rough time you have been having.
It sounds like you adore this horse so i would loan him out for a while until life has settled down, you could always sell after the loan. But i get the feeling you would regret selling, all the best x
 
I would look into working livery. So base him at a riding centre or college (one you are totally happy with), they normally look after/care & pay for most things in return for using your horse in lessons.

Then you can come along like the lady of the manor and enjoy your horse on your rest days.
 
Sorry to hear about your hard time
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I would try advertising for a sharer for a while.
All you can do is try? It doesn't really sound like you want to give him up.
I dont blame you as he sounds lovely
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Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

xx
 
I can appreciate that without yur better half helping with the mucking out it reduces the time you can ride your horse but I would try to find a sharer who would be prepred to muck out and take that burden off you or alternatively pay someone to do it for you.

My advice to you would be to try to make time to ride him more in the Winter months as this would give you some time to relax and contemplate.

I used to have two sharers when I was based in London and one would come up in the morning and the other in the evening and that worked very well (although they did not contribute finacially - but could ride as much as they wanted).

You horse sounds like he is a true treaure and at 14 he is just a youngster. Being safe he is worth a lot of money to the right person.
 
I went through a tough divorce about 6 years ago now. I had two horses and at one time I couldn't even visit them as I was so convinced I was going to have to sell one and PTS the other. I had a friend who looked after them for me, I gave them 6 months off at grass while I got my life back on track and my brain in gear. When I could finally see my way clear I took them back, I had them at a yard on DIY and I started to ride the young one and plan for his future, The old one still upset me daily as I had no land of my own so had to keep him on grass livery and his future looked bleak as I had no spare money. I managed for 12 months and they kept me sane. The old boy overwintered out in a big rug and did fine. The youngster gave me lots to look forward to and lots to work on and a year later I had met my OH, we bought a 30 acre farm in Devon, my OH who was seriously scared of horses learned to ride, we bought two more horses. My old boy is retired and living a life of Riley as a nanny to my new youngster and has a lovely snug stable and a well sloping field. Life is good.

So if you can see your way through this time on a daily basis, don't plan for the long term, just get by, you will suddenly find that daily it becomes easier, your horse won't care if he isn't ridden daily or weekly. He sounds like the type ho just gets on with stuff, so don't fret if you aren't fulfilling his potential - he doesn;t know he has any. Now is not the time to sell and spend the rest of your life regretting it. If you can cope now - either by turning away on to grass livery over winter or by paying for part/full livery then do that. Give yourself space to regroup and get strong and he will still be there for you to enjoy.

At 14 he is still young and sounds the type that would be snapped up. But don't do anything hasty while you are still vulnerable.
 
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