Advice please - heartbreaking decision:Talented youngster

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Zoolander

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Hello,

Your advice would be greatly appreciated (however please be tactful, i'm upset enough as it is :( ). I have a super talented rising 5 youngster, who has bags of potential, i know nobody likes that word but that's what it is, for dressage. He's well bred for it and moves like nobodys business.

I didn't realise when I bought him what he would turn into, and as hard as it is to admit, he's too good for me. I simply don't have the time to get him out every single week to training, competitions, clinics etc travelling up and down. It's not that i'm not a good rider, I am, ut when I think of what he could really be doing with a dressage rider who has the time and know how to really get the most from him, it's saddens me. I also know horses have zero concept of thier potential, but I just feel he's being wasted with me.

So, I have been thinking long and hard and agonising over things.

I could send him on competition livery with a good rider locally. Would suit someone who maybe has another youngster for him to run alongside. I would be ok with going to watch him at shows and seeing how well he's doing, it's just the spiralling costs that are niggling at me. I could manage it, but obviously it wouldn't be cheap. I'm not after a big name, just soemone dedicated, kind and who is doing well.

I could put him on loan, again to a similar person as to above, and would be happy to pay a considerable amount towards his keep. Could suit someone who can't afford the outright cost to buy something talented. Red tape puts me off here.

Finally I could sell him, which I really don't want to do. I'll never afford something as fabulous as him anytime soon, I got lucky I think. He is the sweetest most lovely boy and a pleasure to have on the yard. He was also supposed to be the deposit for a house for me in a few years, but I think parting with him would devestate me.

I feel like such a failure, it really is the hardest thing to admit your horse is too good for you :(

So cookies to all, any thoughts or advice is welcome, we are based in Lancashire if that helps.

people that have pm'd me I shall reply asap!

x x
 
Do you really need to give him to someone else? What would the end goal be? If you do want to sell him for a decent sum
in a few years then yes he needs a competition track record, but if you are planning to keep him forever then what's the panic? I have a young horse who was a surprise in the sense that he was bought as a rising 3 year old for my OH to do a bit of RC stuff and hunt..... He's turned out to be really rather special and far more talented than I would ever need. But I've no intention of selling him/letting anyone else have the ride! I love riding him and he's a darling to have around, and yes he might never reach dizzying heights with me but we will hopefully have an awful lot of fun competing within my comfort zone!
 
I would think that a loan is the best, you need to get a loan agreement... see BHS website, and make sure you visit evry week, and get involved at planning stage, competing is expensive, so you have to find someone who is already geared up.
 
Why couldnt you loan him out? just because someone cant necesarrily afford their own horse doesnt mean they arent extremely talented horsepeople, thats how alot of top riders started, by riding other peoples horses. I think i saw an ad in H&H last week from a young eventer looking for prospects.
 
Stop worrying and enjoy him. He doesn't care if he doesn't achieve his full potential. Sounds like the horse of a lifetime-keep him.
 
Pinkpony I have nothing against loaners at all, in my OP the only thing I said that was putting me off was the red tape, i.e. contracts and the horror stories you hear.

Maybe i'm just having a confidence wobble, who knows. He is my horse of a lifetime, I bought him as a 3 yr old stallion and just got really lucky with the wonderful stud he was from. Never ever would I have the money to buy him again.
 
If you enjoy his company, if you enjoy riding him, if he makes your heart sing when you see him, keep him.

If you are desperate for him to 'get further' than you can take him, get a sharer/rider who can take him further; or, spend the money you were proposing to spend, but on lessons and work your socks off to get to where you want to be.
 
I have an Advanced dressage gelding who I had from a 5 year old I was in the same situation as you a few years ago. My problem was financial the better he got the more money it cost so I loaned him to a young rider who was working for a professional dressage rider. The loan lasted for two years just until I got myself sorted. It was great I went to see him every week training. I went to see him compete in the regionals/nationals and was a very proud owner. Loan doesnt have to be a disaster just make sure you have a good contract etc. and go and visit him regularly. My horse is 15 now and I own the best schoolmaster!!! He is going out on loan on Tuesday to teach someone how to do the moves!!!!:)
 
MrsMozart said:
If you enjoy his company, if you enjoy riding him, if he makes your heart sing when you see him, keep him.
Click to expand...

Agree wholeheartedly.

Why are you feeling like this, do you think? Is it that you are having trouble riding or handling him? Or are you concerned that other people will think that he is 'too good' for you? If so, why do their opinions matter? What on earth does it matter if you have the best looking hack in the country, as long as he and you are happy?

No horse that is cared for and happy is ever wasted:)
 
I would keep him :D

Seriously though, if you are looking to be spending money on sending him away to be "professionally" ridden then why not invest that money in yourself and him together?
 
Get lessons with him and learn with him, I got my old boy really cheap cause he was classed as dangerous he was rising 5. The problem was he had bags of talent and the people who had him could not keep his brain engaged going round the school for ages just made him think what fun he could get up to :D I bought him after a trial which showed he had tons of talent, like you I felt I was not good enough for him but it had to be better than the owners he had:( my instructor of my other horse came and had a look he trained with captain Mark Phillips so had worked with top comp horses we went with he would ride 1 hour a week then give me a lesson a week. Though extremely hard my instructor was learning me with the horse. My horse also had some behaviour issues but as time went on and we got working to higher levels that all dies down. He was a horse in a lifetime :( I never imagined I would be able to ride him the way I did but time and dedication and an excellent instructor made us work as a pair. It can be done of you have the right help, don't give up on yourself you will be amazed what you can do.
Sadly my boy needed to be Pts that was 8 years ago and I carnt afford another with his talent.
 
Ive got to say, i would keep him, have lessons and make as much time as i could for him.

I'm a huge believer in fate and I'm the same as you, i let my confidence wobble and all of a sudden think 'oh hell i cant do this' and then agonise over it for days.

Go for a lesson on him, see what you can get him to do under proper guidance, you may be completely adequate and surprised.

And maybe if you dont want the worry of a loan why not advertise for a confident experienced sharer/rider for him, so he is still getting the work and it doesnt all depend on you.
 
Keep him!

Why don't you have lessons on him to get you up to a better standard? Would you want to do the competing with him or are you a happy hacker at heart?

There are plenty people out there who would ride/comp you, that way you get to keep him and care for him and also still ride him a bit yourself with some extra help from the lessons.

Where abouts in lancs are you? PM me if you want as if your not too far from me I'll put the feelers out for you if you like.

Like someone else has said though, so long as he is happy and cared for he really doesn't care about his talent!
 
Oh heck, these threads...
Horses don't understand "potential", and I'm sure if they could talk they would say they are perfectly hapy in a hacking home with someone they like and who likes them.
Competition is only important if it's important to you. What you want to do with your horse - do it - even if that is just having lovely rides through the countryside. The skills required of a hacking horse are often severely underestimated anyway I think.
My horse is wasting huge potential and breeding as some sort of flashy Arab show horse, but he doesn't mind. He seems to like what we do and so do I, so although we never see a show ground, I think that's a pretty good life for him.
Bear in mind, if you get another rider in to work and compete him, they may not ride the way you do, and they may want different things from him. So be clear in your mind about what you need from your horse before letting someone else share him.
 
If you enjoy riding him keep him for yourself!!!

If you are sure you want another option then loan to a young rider working for/training with a professional would be the way I would go.
 
I agree with everyone else - keep him and give him a lovely, stress-free happy hacking home and save yourself the heartbreak :D
 
If you can find someone to part share & compete him, great. If not, just keep enjoying him yourself. Why feel guilty? He's happy & fulfilled, your happy & lucky to have a nice horse.
 
There is far more to owning horses than a competition record, I'd keep him just because I loved having him. It isn't wasteful and I'll bet he'd be happier than some of the top competition dressage horses.
 
If you really love him and love riding him, then just keep him! You don't HAVE to compete. He is probably happier in a more relaxed regime with you in any case. If you are truely thinking of the welfare of the horse then I expect that he would be happiest with you, someone who loves him, than being sent to a high pressure environment, or to someone who you cannot keep an eye on. Don't worry about it. If he is happy, then follow your heart. So what if he is 'better' than you? It certainly wouldn't bother me.
 
It really doesn't matter if he doesn't realise his potential. You sound as if you really love him - if so keep him - do what you can with him and enjoy him.

You don't have to go out every week, take him through the grades slowly and steadily and have a blast doing so.

One day maybe someone will come up to you and ask if he's for sale. If its the right type of home then sell if not keep him.

Enjoying your horse is the most important
 
You do know this iis a horse you are talking about? I reckon i could bet you my life savings (granted that is not a lot!) that he doesn't sit in his field sulking every day thinking "god, my owner's really holding me back"!

If he fulfils your needs and does what you want to do then I see no reason why on earth you can't just keep him. So what if hehas 'potential', he has no concept of that. It would be different if your reasoning was that he was very talented and needed regular work etc to keep him sane and without it he was difficult and if you were not enjoying riding him because he was quirky or something but would maybe be ok in a competition home. Then i would say sell/loan him but if you love dong whatever you're doing with him then just keep him and enjoy him.

I have thought about this with my horse sometimes thinking he could have dobe really quite well had he been bought originally by a more talented/bold and determind rider than me. I think he'd have done pretty well eventing had he been taken on by an eventer as he's pretty good in all disciplines but I am far too wussy to have dared do anything 'properly' and stick to unaffiliated or intro type events! Lol. I do not think he gives a hoot though, he spends about 23 hrs of his day doing what he likes, gets hacked out and goes ot the odd comp now and then and enjoys himself. I've had him 16 years and I don't sense he resents me for not realising his full potential! Lol

Stop beating yourself up - enjoy your horse and by all means show off his talent at competitions YOU enjoy doing if you fancy!
 
I am another in the keep him frame of mind. If you really want him out there competing then offer him as a ride for someone. My sister used to take on the ride of one of mine as I had no interest in jumping or eventing but my horse did so it was best of both worlds. I got to keep my horse and still ride him at home and he still got to do what he loved.

You could come to some arrangement with the rider on who pays entry fees and who takes any prize money. I am sure someone who wants more experience competing but can't afford to have their own or someone who needs a horse to run alongside their own would bite your hand off for the opportunity.
 
Definitely keep him, don't let his talent be his curse. He's young, give him a couple of years having fun, letting him grow into himself and being ridden by someone who's aim is to enjoy him. Take him out when you feel like it and make life easy for both of you.
If you still feel the same in a couple of years, then think again. There are some wise buyers out there who would snap your hand off for a quality, talented, unspoilt horse that has had time to mature and become ready for serious work. Its the wannabe's that judge a horse based on its competition record.
 
Another keep him vote, I have a beautiful six year old ISH that is really too much for a 45 yr old but I love my lessons on her, my hubby hacks her out whilst I ride older horse and enjoy owning her as she is to die for looks, and as others said she doesn't know she should mp four foot do high level dressage, and win every class entered she is happy being fed and cared for.
 
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