Advice please! Mis sold horse?

maxweg said:
Sorry I'm not too sure why you feel for the horse?, he has a lovely home whilst he is with me and if I don't arrange something with his old owner then he can stay with us and our retired gelding and we will work on things and try to improve our relationship.
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I can see from that you want the best solution for the horse and I hope you get sorted .
I just see the worst in people and the best in horses.
 
Do distance yourself from the situation and resassess it

Your post of yesterday seemed rational and reasoned and I do think you were on the right track there. I'm not sure what has happened overnight but I would maybe rewind to yesterday and go down that road instead as I do think whoever is eroding your confidence today I doubt its the horse but is a human influence

Good luck with whatever you decide and dont forget that the next horse may be less perfect than this one
 
Well WM I think its a little harsh on you. If you should simply make your own mind up about the horse you saw in front of you you wouldn't ask the seller anything! We do obviously read the ad and ask questions and we make our own mind up as to whether we believe the seller or not.

I have been astounded by some recent court rulings on matters like this. I know a seller of a young-ish horse who told the purchasers that the mare had reared during the early backing process. They merrily bought the mare. Vendor received e-mails 6 months down the line stating that she was perfect. Months later the mare started rearing after long period out of work and purchasers won the case!!! Judge claimed sellers hadn't "made enough of the rearing" when she was sold - even though the judge accepted the vendors had talked about it and that the mare had been so good in the interim - Astounding!!!

On that basis you may win! Ultimately, there is a degree of objectivity to be had in the legal realms of what is a "confidence giver" etc. Whilst you perhaps shouldn't have bought him that might not excuse the seller. I think some of the above are missing that point.

Personally, I would go down the professional rider or company route. He still sounds like a lovely horse that you are fond of so the optimist in me (sometimes comes out to play;)) would say well worth a try...

If nothing else... get the right professional rider and they might act as a witness for you.

Good luck.
 
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Have you contacted the person you bought said horse off? Probably best to speak to them. Personally don't think mis-sold as such but possibly unsuitable for you at this time in your life. Hope you find solution for you and the horse.
 
I absolutely feel for you, I too have dwindling confidence. However one persons idea of a confidence giver can be very different to another's. I would expect a "confidence giver" to not spook unnecessarily. Others would consider a horse that doesn't try to buck/rear and plant you a confidence giver.

I recently went horse shopping for a bombproof pony for my 2yo son. I went to see a lovely pony that was "bombproof" however when I got the owner to trot up the pony up for me it started bucking excitedly. I'm thinking wtf I'm not letting my precious 2yo near that thing. The seller happily put his 4yo daughter up on the "bombproof" pony with no hat, in fairness it didn't buck with a rider. Still not a chance I was willing to take

The horse may not give you confidence, but there may be other people who would get confidence from the horse. I don't think the seller is obliged to take the horse back, so if they don't hopefully you will gel with the horse a bit more over time and get the enjoyable carefree hacks you hope for
 
I'm a nervous rider too. From experience, confidence giver depends on the persons view.

I agree that the horse may need more time to settle in. Also, getting an expert to ride the horse, would be able to advise you, if the horse is worth keeping, selling on or back to the old owner.

It may be that once the horse has been on hacking routes a few times with a confident rider, it may settle down. My horse is totally different when he goes somewhere new, once he has been round a few times, he turns into a plod.
 
As much as i feel for you and you dont want to loose your confidence.
I dont think this is a mis selling.
New horse in new home with new people.

Sellers probably told the thruth and the horse was how they said.



The other thing is your tests of the horse dont sound thorough enough.

You should have gone back more than once, gone out on your own and taken horse somewhere new.
Going a short distance with someone walking with horse wouldnt highlight many problems.

Although the spook should have set alarm bells ringing.
All horses spook, a true safe horse wouldnt spook so easily when somewhere they know!
 
Although I do feel for you OP, I don't understand why your riding at all? Horses are not machines they are living creatures with hearts and minds just like us. They do worry, not like strangers, change, get frightened, miss the herd, want to go home, feel sad.

Have a heart OP. Step back, take a long hard look in the mirror and move forward.
 
Have you actually asked seller if they will consider buying the horse back? As first refusal rather than coming at then from a mis-sold point of view.

Ido think confidence giver is a very subjective term - as it depends who they are giving confidence to and is likely to be quite different legally than say a seller saying a horse doesn't rear when it does.

Also some horses do take longer to settle than others - ideally in your situ you would have found one that chilled out straight away but it would appear not.

I think if you are really not happy with the horse it is worth considering re selling or if you decide to keep get someone more confident to hack the horse out for a bit to help it feel more secure with new surroundings.
 
Whilst not mis sold i do think some of comments are a little harsh. ok hacking wise you are having probs and as othrrs said he may need time. but in every other way you say hes great .So try and get a confident rider to hack hinm quietly out and in mean time you spend time with ground work. the simple act of grooming can help to build a bond.look to getting lessons. if he is good in every other way he is worth working with. And when you feel your confidence is low take a breath and try to smile. and im another with low confudence so i understand :)
 
Wow when I read your original post I thought it was one of mine. I had the exact same experience when I viewed/tried out my boy. However I do think that I probably bought the wrong horse. I have persevered with him and nearly 4 years on we have a good bond and are trying new exciting things. I know you say you have owned/ridden for some time but have you considered having some lessons on him. Cannot recommend this enough. I look back now and think I should have returned or sold him on because keeping horses should be fun for a happy hacker but I am sooooo glad that I persevered.
 
Thanks to latter posts,I found them to be helpful and positive,I have taken on board the comments and yes I agree that someones idea of a "confidence giver" may not be mine.

After years of competing then to lose your confidence for no apparent reason is quite upsetting and I only hope this doesn't happen to some of the "posters" as some comments were a bit of a personal "dig".

Anyone who has horses as long as I have had will realise that its not that easy to "hang up your boots".
For those that felt sorry for my horse please don't! he lives with us at home and I suspect he is treated better than with his previous owner.!

Yes I may have made a bit of a mistake, hasn't everyone at some point in their life? and expect everyone to be as honest as me but after a sleepless night and a few positive comments I have decided this horse has a lot of positives to offer and I'm sure I can work with him on building our partnership.
So thanks again for the positive comments and helpful advice and to the others I just hope you don't ever find yourself in this situatuion!
 
Losing confidence happens to lots of people as they age its almost normal from what I say.
I really would find someone to ride out this horse from you daily for a while a tired horse is a good thing in these situations .
I note you say he is better looked after with you then he will be feeling bright and work is essential if you are too get through this .
Can you lunge him ? Because if you can I would ride and lunge daily .
Long riening would be great if you can make sure you are not alone though if doing it on a road .
If you have transport road him to work away from home several times a week all these things will help .
Make a strict roultine and stick to it.
And I am sure you do anyway always wear a neck strap and use it if you feel the need .
Take some lessons on him in a school and see if the trainer can tweak your postion to make you stronger and secure.
Yesterday I went XC schooling on a BE course seven years after an injury that took five years of surgery to fix the horse is a very tricky project and did not make things easy for me but i did just fine .
I tried to get myself jumping again myself but never really cracked it until I got a BE accredited trainer to come to my home weekly to coach me in the jumping
.
 
The trouble with horses that are not bad but not suitable for the person they are sold to is this,They keep thinking Oh its just horses, give him time etc. but things don't improve and they get really scared.The horse deteriorates and its usually too late to return it.I saw a horse misold only recently.Can't go into too many details but the vendor LIED BLATENTLY to the purchaser.The horse had been ridden recently by a competent and confident rider and was good at the showing.I hope things work out but most of us were horrified.
 
I too feel for you OP, i quite often gain confidence and lose it all again on the same day (even the same ride). It is a vicious circle and when a horse is 'not quite right' for you it can feel even worse.

Many of us even though we do not think we do, do believe what other people tell us and i agree whats one person's bombproof is not another.

I do not believe you have been completely 'mis-sold' a horse more like bought one that you believed the sellers description, i too have done this, and it was not my first horse, what i was thinking at the time i do not know, alarm bells did 'hum' slightly in the background and i did not take heed, was it my fault? probably yes, but hey ho, i am only human, i make mistakes.

It sounds like you have had time to think and i am pleased to hear that you are going to work through your problems with your horse, give yourself 6 months and if things are still not right, then make an informed decision at that stage.

Good luck OP.
 
maxweg said:
Thanks to latter posts,I found them to be helpful and positive,I have taken on board the comments and yes I agree that someones idea of a "confidence giver" may not be mine.

After years of competing then to lose your confidence for no apparent reason is quite upsetting and I only hope this doesn't happen to some of the "posters" as some comments were a bit of a personal "dig".

Anyone who has horses as long as I have had will realise that its not that easy to "hang up your boots".
For those that felt sorry for my horse please don't! he lives with us at home and I suspect he is treated better than with his previous owner.!

Yes I may have made a bit of a mistake, hasn't everyone at some point in their life? and expect everyone to be as honest as me but after a sleepless night and a few positive comments I have decided this horse has a lot of positives to offer and I'm sure I can work with him on building our partnership.
So thanks again for the positive comments and helpful advice and to the others I just hope you don't ever find yourself in this situatuion!
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So pleased you've decided to persevere with him :) let us know how you get on.
 
I see you keep him at home, is he living on his own? I have found that makes horses more nervous.
I haven't read all 5 pages so apologies if it has already been said.
I lost my confidence and now have a lovely horse, very non spooky, but if you get tense on him, he gets tense as well, it is part of the wonderful bond and relationship as a rider you experience with a horse, which is partly why we do it. Usually the interactive relationship is positive, sometimes you wish they picked up a bit less from you!
Best of luck with him.
 
I own a 14.2, now 28 year old pony club schoolmaster that I used to loan out. He has taught several none riding children to ride and having owned him for 18 years and seen him in most situations with several riders I would say he is one of the safest least trouble some rides ever.
A few years ago a lady took on trail for two weeks, she had lost her confidence after a bad accident on the road and although she had her own to ride could not get on them. She saw me ride our pony in an open field and was happy to take him away. It was not a success. She was so tense just sat on him she could only walk a few steps. Worst was the tension and lack of oneness to go with the movement made him uncomfortable and uncertain, a horse interprets tension as fear and it made him fearful. You can not blame the horse for a natural reaction.
 
I think some people have been a bit harsh, I think most horses will be a bit spooky in a strange area being ridden, can you maybe lead him on foot a couple of times on a short route to give him confidence then try it ridden, can you lunge him before you ride good for getting rid of silly energy, what are you feeding him cut it right back to nothing if you can just give him hay until he settles, make sure he gets plenty of turnout, one of my horses can be really spooky out hacking he will spook at flowers and really silly things and I never hack on roads with him, when he was young I used to sing when out anything will do it does help although if you bump into anyone they will think your mad, I am glad you have decided to give it another try please let us know how you get on.
 
Try hypnotherapy to improve your confidence. I found it helped me to ride more confidentially, helping me give confidence to my green horse. It worked wonders for me

Good luck!
 
Goldenstar said:
Losing confidence happens to lots of people as they age its almost normal from what I say.
I really would find someone to ride out this horse from you daily for a while a tired horse is a good thing in these situations .
I note you say he is better looked after with you then he will be feeling bright and work is essential if you are too get through this .
Can you lunge him ? Because if you can I would ride and lunge daily .
Long riening would be great if you can make sure you are not alone though if doing it on a road .
If you have transport road him to work away from home several times a week all these things will help .
Make a strict roultine and stick to it.
And I am sure you do anyway always wear a neck strap and use it if you feel the need .
Take some lessons on him in a school and see if the trainer can tweak your postion to make you stronger and secure.
Yesterday I went XC schooling on a BE course seven years after an injury that took five years of surgery to fix the horse is a very tricky project and did not make things easy for me but i did just fine .
I tried to get myself jumping again myself but never really cracked it until I got a BE accredited trainer to come to my home weekly to coach me in the jumping
.
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This, amongst other good advice on this thread. I don't think any (okay, most) people have been having a go at you, I think this is just a situation where it's easy to comment after the fact or if you're not the person involved. As you say, perhaps you made a mistake but you're here now and whatever anyone may or may not have said, it doesn't seem a blatant lie was told, so best plan is to move forward and see how things progress.

I meet a LOT of people - and horses - in this situation. (In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm the person who helped one of the people who has commented on this thread) I would also advise finding someone experienced who can assess the situation in person and advise you how best to proceed. Your confidence will not be helped if you get another scare but you might be surprised how quickly it returns once you start on the right road. I've had people who were afraid to even get on a horse one month and out competing, cantering on hacks etc the next. Often seeing the horse ridden by someone else is a real turning point for all concerned and it's important to not see this as an admission of failure, but as simply getting a professional opinion, like calling a vet or taking your car in for service.
 
maxweg said:
A Long Story!!! so will keep it as factual as possible
I bought a horse 6 weeks ago, advertised as "confidence giver" emailed private seller stating I prefer to hack alone and lack confidence. reply was perfect horse hacks alone never puts a foot wrong a real confidence giver.

I viewed the horse saw it ridden, it did do a sharp spook in the school but just put that down to horses. the lady hacked it up the road but unintentionally I walked with her and her mother. I then rode it, however thinking back she walked with me.
I had explained that i had a joint replacement only 7 wks earlier so safety was paramount I also explained my expectations of a horse and what
Anyway having hacked with my husband/friend walking with me this horse is tense and worried when out on her own making me nervous which doesnt help and recently has put in a couple of nasty spooks one being on the road when i almost lost my balance.
Im sure this is nothing to some but i feel that any confidence i did have has gone.
After contacting the old owner just for a bit of advice she states now that the horse will be tense as I am and she take her confidence from the rider when hacking alone.
To say i am upset is an understatement. This horse is not suitable for me at all.
Any ideas, comments , suggestions gratefully received
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YES,MIS-SOLD!!!!

Owner clearly stated to you that the horse was a confidence giver and never puts a foot wrong hacking alone.

Now back tracking it needs confidence alone!!! I'm sorry but those two statements are very different!!!

I hope you have this all in writing and have a copy of the original advert as you would have chance in a small claims court. Depending on how much you want to claim it could cost you as little as £60 odd pound. Speak to an equine solicitor, they will give you free advice over phone.

I've been there so feel your pain. Good luck!!
 
I have posted on here a lot about my nervous alone horse. He was advertised as a confidence giver, when I tried him out he did hack out alone (although down a very quiet lane )but once I got him home he was terrible, planting and spooking.
refusing to leave the yard. I accept that I was not a confident rider, hence looking for a confidence giver! However I did find it became a vicious circle, the more I tried with him the more he played up and the habits became ingrained. You are doing the right thing getting someone confident to get him out and about, 6 weeks isn't long, he is still feeling his way. Good luck!
 
Thank you whilst I take everything on board I do think they have lied, in the ad and verbally, they knew exactly what I was looking for, yes horses are not machines and are different out of thier usual situations but if you saw a horse advertised as a dressage horse then you would expect it to be able to do a test no matter where it was! i don't really expect a horse to be advertised as a confidence giver to then be told that he needs confidence from his rider to hack alone! In my opinion he was mis advertised

I had previously inquired about a horse but when the vendor came back to me she said she felt the mare wouldn't be suitable as needed the rider for guidance when hacking alone so very truthful.
I don't really want him to go back as not the most fantastic home and to be honest its not the money that's the issue here.
he has a lovely life with me, plenty grazing, a good routine, a friend to play with or groom but im finding it hard to push through this confidence thing when riding alone and as we keep my horses at home its difficult to find someone to ride with.
But I have read all posts and will give him more time, have a few lessons and try to build on that
 
Maxweg, please dont take this the wrong way its meant in the most helpfull way possible, but i'm a little at a loss as to what you are after, whether the horse was miss sold or not it appears you are wanting to keep him? am i reading things correctly? if you are indeed keeping him then it sounds like your confidence is all that is needed to improve.

I too have my horses on their own, it is difficult to find someone to ride with, and my boy is a relatively young horse who would benefit from company, however i have the benefit of lovely friends who i travel to hack out with or they can come to me. if there is no one local ie within a couple mins hack, are there any livery yards locally that you could visit and enquire if anyone would be willing to help out and provide some company hacking out ? i would relish the company if someone was local to me, and indeed i have made friends with people this way and we now hack our from time to time.

could you advertise locally at tack / feed shops for someone to hack out with, there is also a really good facebook page - called riding buddies, there was a thread on here about it when it first started up. at least this way you would have a horse who your seem to like (other than being a bit lacking in confidence whilst hacking alone) it would be a win win all round. just a thought :)

i really hope you manage to overcome your concerns, it sounds like the poor boy is actually quite a nice sort, just a little work needed from both of you :)
 
maxweg said:
Thank you whilst I take everything on board I do think they have lied, in the ad and verbally, they knew exactly what I was looking for, yes horses are not machines and are different out of thier usual situations but if you saw a horse advertised as a dressage horse then you would expect it to be able to do a test no matter where it was! i don't really expect a horse to be advertised as a confidence giver to then be told that he needs confidence from his rider to hack alone! In my opinion he was mis advertised

I had previously inquired about a horse but when the vendor came back to me she said she felt the mare wouldn't be suitable as needed the rider for guidance when hacking alone so very truthful.
I don't really want him to go back as not the most fantastic home and to be honest its not the money that's the issue here.
he has a lovely life with me, plenty grazing, a good routine, a friend to play with or groom but im finding it hard to push through this confidence thing when riding alone and as we keep my horses at home its difficult to find someone to ride with.
But I have read all posts and will give him more time, have a few lessons and try to build on that
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Hi

I purchased my latest about 4 months ago. I hacked her out on her own when viewing and she was perfect did not look at anything at all. In my home she is really nervous and spooks at anything, she does this until she knows the route you are taking, she thens reverts to plod, put one step on a new route and we are back to girrafe pony with head in the air spooking at anything. The old owner said she was anyone's ride and I truly beleive she was as she had been with them for years, she will be anyone's ride again I feel but only once she gets used to me, where I live and where I hack.

She is great in all other ways but hacking alone is a real test to a new horse in a new yard and I think you have to give it time, I would never claim I was mis-sold her because she changed on relocation, this just happens and you have to work at it.

I like the idea of getting someone else to hack out on yours, I would have done this in your situation. For me it works to sing loudly with a couple of drops of rescue remedy on my tongue for new routes, I know she would be nervous if I was.
 
Having read right through I am on the fen on whether you were missold or not.
So I am going to take the stance that you are now the owner of a horse that isn't quite what you'd hoped for.
Many of us are/have been in this position.
i have had 2 different experiences of the same situation - the first I ended up getting more and more unhappy to the point I could only ride if I had someone on the ground with me ..... I sold the horse.
the second I was lucky to have very supportive friends who helped me make a relationship with the horse through ground work and then we moved on and up wards. The latter is now teaching my daughter though he hacks far better for her than he ever did for me!!
I am in my late 40s and have had a hip replacement so do understand how confidence can drain and how self awareness of our vulnerability gets in the way.... give yourself time. I have been stunned at how wimpy I can sometimes be at the strangest of things - things I would have taken in my stride without thinking in previous years....
All I would say is -
Do not keep a horse that scares you in any way - there are plenty of others out there.
If you believe that over time you and the horse can be a partnership then give you both time. Ground work, schooling, walking in hand. Patience will pay off.
Good luck
 
I think that if you want to pursue the 'mis-sold' case you will have to give him back; it looks to me like you have now decided to keep him, so whether or not he was mis-sold is pretty much academic now.

Our first horse was sold to us as a confidence giver who would happily hack alone. He would certainly do that for his previous owner but it was virtually impossible to get him to leave the yard once we'd got him home! We persevered and he made lots of progress - but he did go through a difficult 'teenage tantrum' phase when he was around 6/7 and that took some working through. Having said that, he taught us a lot, and ten years on we have a smart cob who will hack alone, in company, loves hunting and has taught my husband to ride. I'm so glad we persevered.
 
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