Advice please! Mis sold horse?

maxweg said:
Sorry I'm not too sure why you feel for the horse?, he has a lovely home whilst he is with me and if I don't arrange something with his old owner then he can stay with us and our retired gelding and we will work on things and try to improve our relationship.
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maxweg said:
Thank you whilst I take everything on board I do think they have lied, in the ad and verbally, they knew exactly what I was looking for, yes horses are not machines and are different out of thier usual situations but if you saw a horse advertised as a dressage horse then you would expect it to be able to do a test no matter where it was! i don't really expect a horse to be advertised as a confidence giver to then be told that he needs confidence from his rider to hack alone! In my opinion he was mis advertised

I had previously inquired about a horse but when the vendor came back to me she said she felt the mare wouldn't be suitable as needed the rider for guidance when hacking alone so very truthful.
I don't really want him to go back as not the most fantastic home and to be honest its not the money that's the issue here.
he has a lovely life with me, plenty grazing, a good routine, a friend to play with or groom but im finding it hard to push through this confidence thing when riding alone and as we keep my horses at home its difficult to find someone to ride with.
But I have read all posts and will give him more time, have a few lessons and try to build on that
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I read both these posts as new horse has a companion.
 
Perfect_Pirouette said:
I'm not sure you have been mis-sold sorry.

I think you should give this horse more time. Take baby steps, just go for 10 mins around the block, even with someone leading you if it will make you feel more comfortable. Get to know the horse on the ground, do ground work in the school, lunge it etc, ensure it listens to you.

I don't know many horses that DON'T get their confidence from their rider to be fair. And also, to be fair to him he doesn't sound that bad, he hasn't taken off with you or gone up or bucked, just a few spooks. I know they can be unnerving but so long as you can sit them and ride him forward then you will be fine.

If it were me I would get some lessons with a good instructor and stick to the school for a few weeks, have lessons, get to know the horse and gain a bit more confidence before I hacked him out again.

OR sell him but you may be selling a good horse and go from the frying pan to the fire!
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I agree with much of this. I wonder if the vendor realized how nervous you were. Even if you were miss-sold I doubt you would have any come back in court as he hasn't done anything other than spook. I lack confidence hacking and my young pony was supposed to be bombproof, but because of his age I expected him to go backwards when he moved form his 1st and only home. To his credit all he has done is spook- nothing else, like yours. What I have done is spent lots of time walking him out in hand and doing ground work, I worked in the school lots. I have also been having lessons on a school master to improve my seat and he now hacks in company like a pro - next step solo. Good luck whatever you decide to do.
 
If I was looking for a confidence giver and I had told the seller that I wanted to hack out alone I would expect the horse to do exactly that - especially after six weeks. However if your confidence is so low, then I imagine that your nervous vibes are transferring to the horse. Maybe get someone who has no loss of confidence issues to hack the horse out and see how he reacts with another rider. At least then you will know whether the issue lies with your or the horse. Good luck - I hope you get the issue sorted one way or another. :)
 
Where abouts on Oxfordshire are you? I am quite local to you and have lots if experience teaching people with confidence issues. PM me if you like.
 
smanf said:
Sorry, is the horse a 'she' or a 'he'??...
Appears to have undertaken a sex change during the course of this thread...
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I thought this too!

Thought id probably got mixed up.
But since you pointed it out i went back and reread, it definately says she and her in the original post then horse is a he in subsiquent posts!

No wonder horse is nervous, its confused who he/she is!!! :-)
 
smellsofhorse said:
I thought this too!

Thought id probably got mixed up.
But since you pointed it out i went back and reread, it definately says she and her in the original post then horse is a he in subsiquent posts!

No wonder horse is nervous, its confused who he/she is!!! :-)
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I'm incredibly confused now too. Horse changes from mare to gelding and on the previous thread, you think the horse is fine but the problem is due to your nervousness.
 
Don't know what to say really, when I wanted a confidence giver for my daughter, the day we viewed him it was raining, high winds and a WW2 reinactment was going on in the field next door, the horse didn't blink and happily trotted and cantered around the field. We bought him. Fast forward a few years and my daughters horse now is a TB ex racehorse. Very forward going and sharp. Definitely not a happy hacker. But, I am so used to his ways that when he spins, jumps in the air etc (killer pigeons lol) that I just laugh, put my leg on and deal with it. However, although I am happy with his actions, I know that he would scare the living daylights out of another. If, when we looked the gelding we bought those years ago, and he had put in a spook, I would have had second thoughts, because at the time, we needed something bomb proof etc. On another note, I had a horse that was a great hacker, I went everywere with him, even during chemo treatment so, I wasn't that strong but, when I sold him on as a happy hacker, he turned into a monster and dumped the girl in stubble fields etc. I went back to see her and rode him, I was amazed at how terrified he was of everything, I could feel his heart pumping away, he was nervous and anxious and tried to spin with me when a tractor went by. So, it was just the change of owner and new yard that had blown his brains. She continued and still has him. Different horse, it just took time.
 
I would say the horse that I ride is a bombproof confidence giver. It took roughly 3 months of riding him for me to think of him this way though, as at first he took all my confidence away before building it back up! It took us a while to gel as a pair but I'm so happy we eventually did.
 
I think a change of yard and owners takes a horse some getting used to. Having just moved my own horse, who I have owned for five years, I speak frome experience!!!

He is on high alert a lot of the time, naps badly down the long track down to the road and loads of thing seem very stressy for him. I know he will calm down, because I have had him for five years, however, I really wouldn't particularly want to move him again, and hacking out alone is an absolute no no at the moment.

I think you need to give him time to settle. We have been at the new yard five weeks and are beginning to be less like a whirlwind timebomb, but it will take time I know for us.
 
Would echo this. My traddie cob had been in a trekking centre and had never hacked solo till I tried: result, nightmare! He'd spin, plant, rear and back his bum into the ditch. It took a lot of groundwork - and skilled help, which was invaluable, I don't think we'd have done it without that - to get him going solo. Now he'll happily go on his own and copes with all traffic, aeroplanes etc (we live near an airport!). It just took time...... and skilled help.

My loan mare was the spookiest thing I'd ever sat on! If I'd had her on trial as opposed to loan, I'd have sent her back straight away, the only reason I kept her was simply because I COULD send her back (if that makes sense????) but more importantly she was the perfect companion for my traddie cob, so I kept her, and somehow got the hang of riding her....... now we're well and truly bonded and I've got to understand that she IS a mare and we have to "discuss" - and usually come to an amicable settlement!

Its just giving things time; but also using a new and potential difficult horse to further one's own riding and handling ability. Sorry to harp on about it, but this is where a professional comes in - they will exercise you to be that little more adventurous, if that if the right word, but not beyond your ability, and will also be able to stand back and look at the partnership in a detached way and be able to suggest things.

OP I just think you need to give the whole thing time; but also as others have suggested I feel you would benefit enormously from some input from a skilled person.

Also....... for some "homework" - I would recommend that you take a peek at the Michael Peace website; get one of his books/DVD's even. This won't solve all your problems BUT might just give you some ideas to practice and food for thought.

I wishyou could have seen me with my traddie boy and/or loan mare when I first got them - they both frightened the pants off me, but we got there in the end.:)
 
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