Advice please - to sell or not to sell?

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abbiehill2

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I need some help please. I have a very strong 16.2 Dutch warmblood. I bought him 6 months ago -I couldn't catch him, he would drag me to his field even when I got a halter. Every time I tied him up he would break the binding and charge back to his field. No one could hold him. He used to sweat and have nose bleeds.
Now he comes to call and will stand and let me groom him. He is a lot less anxious and is actually very affectionate.
My problem now comes when riding him. He is constantly on his toes and has bolted with me. I have changed his bit and have a little more control. The minute he is in a school he bucks until I am off - I have suffered numerous injuries so I am not even trying to school him now. He is anxious when hacking alone but not too bad in company but I can't even trot without him galloping.
In all honesty, I have over horsed myself and with hindsight I bought the wrong horse but I have him now and feel like i've made such progress with him. He has been checked out by a vet and his problems are behavioural not physical. Am I better off selling him to someone bigger and stronger than me who has the time to work with him or will he come good?? He is 16.
 
It all depends on if you are scared by him or not. If he scares you and you feel you could be hurt, by all means sell him to someone more experienced. If he's just uneducated, give him a little more time, he has only been with you for 6 months (which is nothing at all) My horse took a good 7 months to settle with me.
 
If he is 16 can you justify it with him being uneducated. He sounds like a right pig. Would anyone buy him that's the trouble. Can you get someone more experienced to school him for you maybe?
 
I don't think I am going to risk schooling him for a while, i'm wondering if he's had a bad experience. Someone said I should just walk him round the roads for a few months?
 
If walking round the roads is what he does best then stick to that and gradually build from there. Horse sounds frightened to me but is very slowly gaining trust in you. There's no reason why you can't do all your schooling on hacks. Possibly venture into the school in a few years when you've got him going nicely on hacks. If its taken six months to lead and groom him its going to be a slow process, but it sounds like you'll get there in the end.

When you get to the arena try grooming in there at first and leading, because he's ok with those things. Treat him like a baby that's never done it before, but expect slower progress because something has obviously gone wrong in there for him.

If you decide to sell, at least you've improved him in the time that you've had him. I don't think he'd be what most people want to buy though.
 
I have found someone who is used to problematic horses and she wants to buy him but I feel like i'm giving up on him and i'm throwing the towel in too soon. I have a 5 year old daughter and she sees me in tears most nights which isn't good. Maybe if I just keep walking him round the roads, that might work. Just a bit boring but we'll have to put up with it.
 
Bucking and bolting is an evasive action.
Now don't get me wrong, he sounds like a right pig who knows he can take charge of you. But, have you had the usual saddle check done?

When we're his teeth last done?
He could easily be evading pain that the vet hasn't checked.
 
He didn't seem to like the bit so I got his teeth rasped. The vet said that he had no problems in his mouth or with his teeth. The vet also checked his back but someone suggested I get a chiropractor to check it. He just seems scared of everything. He does try to push me around but i've learnt to be firm with him and he's stopped knocking me over know. If he feels that you are weak he will take full advantage.
 
abbiehill2 said:
I have found someone who is used to problematic horses and she wants to buy him but I feel like i'm giving up on him and i'm throwing the towel in too soon. I have a 5 year old daughter and she sees me in tears most nights which isn't good. Maybe if I just keep walking him round the roads, that might work. Just a bit boring but we'll have to put up with it.
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It is supposed to be fun! Not only is your daughter seeing you upset but you are putting yourself at risk. There is no shame in admitting you have the wrong horse, who is very big and could if hasn't already start taking the mick. Sell him, buy something that you can do what you want with and have some fun.
 
jrp204 said:
It is supposed to be fun! Not only is your daughter seeing you upset but you are putting yourself at risk. There is no shame in admitting you have the wrong horse, who is very big and could if hasn't already start taking the mick. Sell him, buy something that you can do what you want with and have some fun.
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I'm certainly not having any fun. I'm worried about him and me but I just want to exhaust all avenues before I give up. Maybe it can be fun again?
 
if you are frightened he will sense it, he looks to you as the leader, he is looking to gain confidence from you.

You have made huge progress on the ground, im guessing you dont know his full history and what he has been through, so my advice (as long as you arent frightened for your safety) is to stick with it.

He sounds like he is testing you, see what he can get away with.
Treat him kindly (as im sure you do) reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad.

I have had experience of sorting out troubled horses and this is what i suggest:

I would try lunging him on both reins just in walk for 5 or 10 mins. stop the session; reward & return him to the field.

Build it up from there - after a week or so lunge for 5 mins (still in walk) but then get on him and just walk in the school (circles, serpentine, figure of eight) for about 20 mins, reward. get off.

Build this then up to trot and within a couple of months try canter work.
It will take time but you can do it, By progressing slowly he will learn to trust you and hopefully enjoy his work. You will hopefully end up with a happier horse.

He may have displayed this behaviour in his previous home and they have prob given up when he bucked and bolted and put him back in field, its what i suspect he thinks will happen with you.

Make sure you wear your hat and body protector when you are working with him.

You can do this.
 
You don't have to keep him if you don't want to! Would the other person be a good home, do you know them well? Is the horse potentially what you want if you can get him to calm down, or did you only buy for his looks but now you'd rather settle for having something you can ride. Crying every night over it isn't good. Do you see turning him around as an (eventually rewarding) challenge, or have you just had enough?

Some owners do nothing but charge around on their horses whilst constantly hanging onto its mouth, then the horse thinks that's what riding is all about and becomes permanently tense, hard mouthed and tanks off everywhere. My friend had one of those and now it gets 80% at dressage 2yrs later because she retrained it from scratch.
 
I think you have to consider the horse here, it doesn't sound much fun for him right now. He would be happier with a rider who was able to give him the confidence and discipline he needs.

Happy horse, happy owner.
I agree with you that you sound totally over horsed.
I would sell him quickly whilst you have the chance. Not many people would want to buy him so I think you would struggle to sell in the future.

Buy yourself a horse that you can have fun with and enjoy.
 
Thank you - I really want to do him proud but i'm worried my knowledge and experience isn't up to what he needs. His last owners couldn't get rid of him quick enough and were uncontactable from that day on. I think he spent a lot of time just in the field as this is definitely where he is happiest. I will try the lunging - thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it.
 
guido16 said:
I think you have to consider the horse here, it doesn't sound much fun for him right now. He would be happier with a rider who was able to give him the confidence and discipline he needs.

Happy horse, happy owner.
I agree with you that you sound totally over horsed.
I would sell him quickly whilst you have the chance. Not many people would want to buy him so I think you would struggle to sell in the future.

Buy yourself a horse that you can have fun with and enjoy.
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Oh no, now I don't know what to do again?? I don't think he is happy but I would like to make him happy.
 
I think he has had a lot of owners and i'm worried that pushing him from pillar to post will make it worse. The girl seems very nice who wants to buy him but you can never be certain. I don't want to fail him but I am at my witts end. I just don't know what to try next.
 
If you have someone wanting to buy him, sell him and move on with something you can enjoy!! No way would I keep on with something I was scared of and despite being an experienced rider I wouldn't work with dangerous ones now because I have a daughter. There is no shame in that. When you have other folk depending on you it's not worth it.
 
You've got enough common sense and confidence to have sorted him out on the ground. If you want to keep him, treat the experience as a learning curve for yourself. With your own common sense and dedication, the help of someone experienced and plenty of time and patience, you'll get there. Would the potential buyer work on the arena issues with you, either giving lessons or schooling horse for you?
 
Do you trust this lady who wants to buy him - how well do you know her?

If I'm honest this horse sounds like he is going to take at least 18 months to 2 years to turn back into a happy animal who can lead a normal life, by that point he'll nearly be 19... Maybe you need to think about alternatives to selling.
 
No, unfortunately she's too far away. She asked if I had tried 'natural horsemanship' but not too sure what that is? Everyone at the yard is a bit wary of my boy, he is much better behaved for me than anyone else (to lead etc), that's why I feel like i'm sort of gaining his trust.
 
The vet said I could have him put to sleep but there is nothing physically wrong with him and there are times when he has even fallen asleep on my shoulder! But the next day he will be frightened again. I can't seem to find the trigger.
 
I think with him being a "problem horse" you're expecting too much too soon. If you want something to crack on with then you need a different horse. But whilst there's nothing wrong in going down that route, it does mean you'd become yet another person in a long line of those who've given up. It's not necessarily in the best interests of the horse, but this is your life too and its supposed to be fun.

If it was me I'd stick with it, but I don't mind playing the long game. On the plus side the horse is sound. If the only money you have to buy another with is what you sell him for then your next cheapy could also have something wrong with it, either behavioural or health wise. You never really know what you're getting until you've got them home.
 
I think your buyer would keep him for the shortest time possible then sell him on. She's probably hoping you're just being daft and she can fix him up and sell for a profit quick. Natural horsemanship often means parelli methods. Search on here if you want to read all about that can of worms!
 
I think your potential buyer should be checked out thoroughly before any cosideration is given to selling. Offering to buy a 'problem' unseen, unless someone you k ow shouts of red flags to me. You sound like you care about his future so checking out any buyer would be essential.

But - I do think you should sell him. Before you get hurt. You have a child and as a mother of a four year old I couldn't take a risk that would affect my son. And it's supposed to be fun. Iimagine and picture yourself doing all the fun things that are possible on a good all rounder, one that doesn't cost the earth. Fun rides, cantering through woods popping poles, competition if that's your thing.... The endless fun you can have costs the same as the fear you get if it's not right, with a secondary substantial cost if it goes wrong.

I don't mean to be harsh and it's just my opinion, but if you've not had the horse long then the attachment is different and as another poster said, time is not on his side for improvement then resale.

If you didn't pay too much you may be able to recoup your losses and get something fun but even if you can't I would still consider selling very seriously. Some people actively enjoy a challenge and great. You have a challenge for sale and as for making him happy, well happiness is relative and at the end of the day do you know that it is possible, indeed how would you tell?


hmmmm this is a different post to one i may have written pre mummy but my priorities HAVE changed now and although my horses and pets are not treated any differently now I do feel differently about them in relation to my family.
 
If vet thinks behavior is bad enough to consider PTS, I'd do that rather than sell, if you care about him. I just can't see him finding a good home in todays equine market if sold honestly.
 
like others have said before, I think you need to check out your potential ownership if you are concerned that he is going to passed from pillar to post, but IMO I think that you should sell him anyway. I over horsed myself a year ago, it was horrible and although I managed to sort his ground work out, it was never fun and my little girl (whose also five) couldn't come anywhere near him, the whole thing was just a nightmare.

I since got myself a new one who is quite frankly a saint - yesterday myself and my little girl gave him a bath and she painted his hooves and then rode him to the field, we had a really nice afternoon and that what it's about! Its a expensive hobby and it should be fun.
 
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