Advice Please....What Now?

Chavhorse

Chavhorse

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This is liable to be a bit long and rambling so I apologise in advance!

On Tuesday I had a lesson on Vardi, he has been in training for the last six months and I have been working alongside his trainer with his groundwork but not actually riding him to allow him some maturing time. Most people will be aware of his story but for those that do not a link is attached below.

http://www.horseandhound.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?p=9649546#post9649546

I will freely admit that I was pretty nervous climbing back on board for the first time (rescue remedy was used as was a healthy bout of EFT therapy) but we had a good session with only a couple of minor spooks that I deault with calmly. We had another lesson on Thursday which went really well no spooking at all and some very good work on his right rein (his bad side) I got off feeling very confident that we were getting somewhere.

Yesterday that kind of changed. We started off as normal long lining him and he was going well, I then hopped up and we started to work on some supplying exercises, he was being responsive and listening to me and I was feeling very confident when suddenly bam! We were going at wharp speed round the round pen. I will freely admit that my first reaction was to block myself but then reverted to sit down heels down and whoa and we stopped. I kept him standing for a minute and settled him down again then set off in a small circle on coming out of the circle bam wharp speed again. Rinse and repeat the above but with 5 mins of small circles on each rein pushing his hip out then stop and a backup. Feeling back in control again I increased the circle again and could feel he was going to go again then bam yet another wharp speed. At this point I stopped and my instructor came over and took the reins and we stood for 5 mins.

It took every ounce of my resolve not to just jump off! My instructor insisted I stay on top even giving me a cigarette to calm my nerves whilst we stood still, he then led me on 2 circuits’ of the round pen which was like sitting on a time bomb! I then asked “Can I get off now” and did.

Talking about what happened I said I felt nothing untoward before he flew off for the first time, instructor said he was watching me and saw no rhyme or reason as to why it happened and was at a loss to explain it , we both think that after the first time he got himself so wound up that it was pretty impossible to bring him back down again.

So people I now have a bit of a problem!

I will happily admit that since I had the accident 2 years ago my greatest fear is a horse bogging off with me so my initial reaction to yesterday is “that’s it never again I am too old and too scared to put myself through this! If I say yesterday I could have quite happily have driven away from the yard, sent a cheque to cover his livery for the next year and never gone back again that would pretty much have explained it,

Having had a good nights sleep and some thinking and crying time (the main reason I am writing this now at 6am if I had done it last night it would have been an incoherent rant!) I am thinking that I have 3 options.

1. Sell him accept that the fairy tale ending is not for us as a team and just accept that I did all I could for him. This does not fit well with my bloody minded side.

2. Maybe it is a case of me at the moment needing something been there, got the t-shirt no drama at the moment and I need to build up my riding hours and skills on something like this again before attempting to ride Vardi again? Yes I have been riding for years and am experienced but have not ridden on a regular basis for over a year so my reflexes are not as sharp as they should be.

3. Push on with riding him….mmmmm will happily put my paw up and say I now have 0% trust in him so not an ideal scenario.

I am trying to be very rational here, I know I can ride and I know I enjoy it and do not really want to give it up, however I am also very aware that I have got to an age where falling off really hurts and I hate being scared (although when the situation is happening I seem to be able to zone in and deal with the problem then go to pieces afterwards). I have ridden other horses in the last two years and do not have the same sense of mistrust and fear I have with Vardi In fact I spend last summer merrily cantering about on my friends show cob whooping!

On the plus side I dealt with the problem and stayed on but and it is a big but at nearly 47 I really think I do not want this kind of excitement, also this was in the round pen doing exercises in walk so how am I going to feel first time in the big school, outside, in the woods etc as I said before the trust is not there anymore. The thing that always kept me going with this horse was that he had never put a hoof wrong well that has kind of changed.

I Have a lesson booked today at 11:30 and I will use that time to sit with my instructor and have a calm rational “where do we go from here” conversation and try very hard not to cry, I know I do not want to get back on top today!

Any input would be gratefully received.
 
Have just read your story, am very, very sorry this has happened to you. Lots of hugs. Your horse must have had a reason for his behaviour . Can you discus it with a vet. Please dont risk riding untill your horse is "ridable" .
 
teasle said:
Have just read your story, am very, very sorry this has happened to you. Lots of hugs. Your horse must have had a reason for his behaviour . Can you discus it with a vet. Please dont risk riding untill your horse is "ridable" .
Click to expand...

Thanks Teasle, we had him fully vetted in April and he got a totally clean bill of health, however it is one of the things on the "list" to speak to my instructor/trainer about. Trainer has been riding him with no problems apart from in Feb when he bogged off with him but we put this down to bit issues, yesterday he was bitless so could not have been that or maybe we were on the wrong track and it was not the bit at all.

Tis all a bit of a mystery at the mo but after going through the "god I am so crap and useless" stage last night I have actually come round to "no I can actually ride very well yes I am rusty but did nothing to cause this reaction".

Doesn't help though:-)
 
First of all, can i say i think vardi looks fantastic. I love the spotties!
Ok. I read this post carefully, and your other post and obviously its hard to be 100% but the feeling i get when i read this is that vardi isnt a bad or dangerous horse. I think this is a set back that you can get over.
First. Are you sure it wasnt a pain / fear response ? He might initially have taken off in fright , then after that had his adrenalin up, as it were.
Credit to you, you were able to control your fear and stop him, then you stayed on until things had calmed down. That takes guts when all you want to do is jump off !
You say vardi is alittle behind mentally / ridden work wise. You also have some baggage ( i mean that nicely ) from previous injurys.
Im being very long winded but im thinking you should go and have your lesson. Get on him. Ride the horse he is on the day, not the horse you rode yesterday, even if all you do is stand with your instructor next to you. If you still have problems, get the usual health / tack checks, but i think you'll get through this ok with the help of your instructor.
Kx
 
Sorry Circe ,cross posted with you . Did not mean to contradict your post, my no was in response to last phrase of op s post.
 
Thats fine teasel :)
I agree with what you are saying :D
To the OP, it seems like there are some confidence issues, and then the horse has done something that is out of character for him, which have made the you question yourself.
What you need to find out is why he did that, is it due to pain or fear or naughtiness?
As it s out of character for him, it makes me think it was pain or fear tbh.
Its sounds as though you have supportive people around you, I hope you sort it out soon
Kx
 
While I understand where the other posts are coming from, please, please, don't forget that riding and owning a horse is supposed to be enjoyable. I'm the same age as you and now I'm all for a quieter life as far as horses are concerned. Remember it costs the same to keep a sensible horse as it does one that scares you. No one will judge you if you decide to move on.
 
asmp said:
While I understand where the other posts are coming from, please, please, don't forget that riding and owning a horse is supposed to be enjoyable. I'm the same age as you and now I'm all for a quieter life as far as horses are concerned. Remember it costs the same to keep a sensible horse as it does one that scares you. No one will judge you if you decide to move on.
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^^^ This, totally agree with it.

Is it possible for you to ride your friends cob again in the next few days? I think it's important that you do get on a 'safe' horse.
 
Is it worth the risk to both of you, Or would it be a better idea to sell vardi to someone with the time/skills/energy who can take him on and get him working whilst you invest in a nice quiet horse that you can enjoy. There is no point in having a horse that you dont trust and who probably doesnt trust you, you arent working towards anything, it seems a very one sided battle.

think whats best for you, and then whats best for vardi.
 
I've been in the same situation and my OH reminded me that its supposed to be safe and fun. For me it was neither but it took my instructor to put it really bluntly and told me that I needed to find a new horse and that the one I had wasn't for me.

Many tears and hopeless feelings I now have a cob worth his (considerable) weight in gold and have beenout doing all sorts.

If its keeping you awake and you are this worried you need to take stock. Really hard decision and I wish you all the best in making it.
 
I am so sorry you've been having such a difficult time. I don't want to depress you further, and I may be completely wrong, after all what do I know??, but from reading your story you and Vardi do not sound like a very good match at the moment. This doesn't mean that you won't be able to click in the future, but I think with your history of a very serious and scary accident plus time off riding and him being young and lacking in confidence, the combination is unlikely to work at this time.

Can you afford to keep him on the schooling livery that's working well for him for a bit longer? Meanwhile could you book some lessons on a really reliable school horse and just have a potter about? Give yourself some time to re-establish your own confidence in riding with a horse that knows all about it and when you feel more confidence only then ride Vardi again. From what you say, if there is no physical issue behind the running off, it sounds like a confidence issue and if you can't give Vardi the confidence he needs right now you are both likely to scare each other more.

Sorry to be so blunt, I don't want to make you feel bad, but I honestly think you could end up making things worse by riding him in your current frame of mind. No reason why you can't both grow into each other given time!
 
asmp said:
While I understand where the other posts are coming from, please, please, don't forget that riding and owning a horse is supposed to be enjoyable. I'm the same age as you and now I'm all for a quieter life as far as horses are concerned. Remember it costs the same to keep a sensible horse as it does one that scares you. No one will judge you if you decide to move on.
Click to expand...

Agree with this.
 
Booboos said:
I am so sorry you've been having such a difficult time. I don't want to depress you further, and I may be completely wrong, after all what do I know??, but from reading your story you and Vardi do not sound like a very good match at the moment. This doesn't mean that you won't be able to click in the future, but I think with your history of a very serious and scary accident plus time off riding and him being young and lacking in confidence, the combination is unlikely to work at this time.

Can you afford to keep him on the schooling livery that's working well for him for a bit longer? Meanwhile could you book some lessons on a really reliable school horse and just have a potter about? Give yourself some time to re-establish your own confidence in riding with a horse that knows all about it and when you feel more confidence only then ride Vardi again. From what you say, if there is no physical issue behind the running off, it sounds like a confidence issue and if you can't give Vardi the confidence he needs right now you are both likely to scare each other more.

Sorry to be so blunt, I don't want to make you feel bad, but I honestly think you could end up making things worse by riding him in your current frame of mind. No reason why you can't both grow into each other given time!
Click to expand...

Firstly thanks everyone for your replies and empathy.

Booboos you are not depressing me further at all. After a long chat today with my trainer/instructor it is the same conclusion we have reached.


At the end of the day Vardi is six but and it is a big but with all his past problems he has the actual ridden experience of a 4 year old. Me although experienced and well out of practice so what I need is a been there done that got the t-shirt horse that I can make mistakes on and it is forgiving, what Vardi needs is a been there done that got the t-shirt rider that can show him that being ridden is normal, fun and even when things go badly he can cope with it.

As Jan said to me today you and him are a mirror, you are going "I don;t know what I am doing" and he is saying " what do you mean you don't know what you are doing I don't either" this is followed by us both going "whhaaaaa"

So Vardi will remain in training livery for the remainder of the summer also jans daughter is back for the next 3 months so she can also put some riding miles on him, meanwhile we are on the lookout for a loan horse for at least the summer months that I can get 100% confident on again.

This will give us all time to take stock and take the following causes of action;

a) Vardi and I try again together in 3 - 4 months time
b) Jan gets the chance to give me some intense coaching on the loan horse and can make a fair assessment on whether Vardi and I will ever be a match or not.

Fingers crossed I can find something that will work.
 
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