Advice please

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littlen

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Well as some of you know I had a girl come to try out my horse with a view to sharing him on Monday.
He is a 14hh TB X and is very fine with almost no muscle due to a lack of work, he is also slightly older at age 17 therfore is starting to slow down abit (creaky bones!)

The girl was lovely, and handled him well. Now heres the problem. She was pretty tall, at around 5'9, and she was also on the heavier side of things. She rode him quietly but i feel he was struggling slightly to carry her, and she was unbalanced and i felt he wasnt happy with her to be honest, and he was overreaching, which he never ever does and also his back looked as though it was dipping.

She loved him and asked to ride him again at the weekend, and then take him providing all is well. Now i would love for her to take him but I just feel she is too big and I dont want a horse who is struggling and not enjoying his work. She also wants more days than i want to offer ideally.
What would you guys do, would you give her a chance and see if horse picks up when muscled up, or just tell her outright? I feel so awful about it as she was so lovely and enthusiastic and was fantastic with him on the ground but I just feel he would be better off if i rode him more rather than someone else
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I hate so sound nasty in anyway as I have been a sharer and know how it feels to be let down, and would love some help or advice on what to do or say.
 
if you fill shes to big then i would say the more you carry on the more it will hurt her and the horse
 
Thats a tough one, but you got to look out for your horse at the end of the day.
You could either say that you dont think they're suited. or you could say you feel that she is slightly too heavy (is she way to heavy or just a bit)
she may say that shes trying to lose weight. When i put weight on (family problems) I stopped riding my mare until the weight came off, i knew i was too heavy. You never know she might lose the weight in order to ride your horse. x
 
Erm she wasnt huge, but overweight for her height of 5'8 and on a 14hh fine tb she did look pretty big.


I would prefer to just ride him myself, but I thought i would try and do whats best for him and find him a rider once or twice a week. But after discussing this with OH he seems to be of the opinion that he is slowing down now and not being in full work is not doing him any harm!

I just dont know how to say it without offending this lady as she was so lovely, I wouldnt mind her riding on occasion but not on a regular basis. I feel i should just txt or ring and say it, but I dont want to upset or offend anyone
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Please please stick with your gut instinct!

I had a sharer for Josie, who I thought was slightly too big for her, but everyone told me dont be silly.

She tore her suspensory lig in sharers lesson, and had to have surgery. The vets words to me, after he'd met sharer and had when she did it explained to him, was, that mare has done too mouch work, carrying too much of a load, and I dont mean you!

Please please learn from MY mistake x x x x
 
[ QUOTE ]
Please please stick with your gut instinct!

I had a sharer for Josie, who I thought was slightly too big for her, but everyone told me dont be silly.

She tore her suspensory lig in sharers lesson, and had to have surgery. The vets words to me, after he'd met sharer and had when she did it explained to him, was, that mare has done too mouch work, carrying too much of a load, and I dont mean you!

Please please learn from MY mistake x x x x

[/ QUOTE ]

after reading the above i really wouldnt risk him x
 
just tell her after a long think that because of his age etc that ,you fill that you only want him to being alittle work tell her the days ,and leave it in her court, if she ok with doing the amount of days ,then she stay if not ,she go
the more you carry on the harder it will get .
 
Tell her the truth, say you and your OH discussed your horses age, workload etc and have decided that he doesn't really need any additional work at the moment, especially since she wants more days than you were offering. Say you are very sorry that you have changed your mind and that you hope she finds a share soon.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Please please stick with your gut instinct!

I had a sharer for Josie, who I thought was slightly too big for her, but everyone told me dont be silly.

She tore her suspensory lig in sharers lesson, and had to have surgery. The vets words to me, after he'd met sharer and had when she did it explained to him, was, that mare has done too mouch work, carrying too much of a load, and I dont mean you!

Please please learn from MY mistake x x x x

[/ QUOTE ]



Thanks for this, its exactly what im worried about. He can prat about at times and im worried something might go, as he is so fine and his legs look like they could just snap!
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My gut instinct is to say no, its just how i do it as she left the yard with a massive grin shouting "Will ride on Saturday meet you at 2" In other words thinking that he was going to be good for her, but i just dont have the heart to tell her and thought it might be worth risking it and seeing if it improves, but hearing this i am having second thoughts about it!
 
Just call her and say that you are sorry, but having seen her ride, she is just too big for the horse, particularly as he is so fine & older.

You could also say that her height is a factor as opposed to weight. Regardless of weight, 5'8" is tall for a 14hh tb. Suggest that she looks for a taller horse to share.

TBH I would rather offend someone than have my pony squished.

If someone tiny came to share your 17.2hh, you wouldn't hesitate to say your too small!!.
 
[ QUOTE ]

He is a 14hh TB X and is very fine with almost no muscle due to a lack of work, (creaky bones!)
She was pretty tall, at around 5'9, and she was also on the heavier side of things.

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She's too big for him. Tell her, she should be looking at horses not ponies IMO.
 
I feel so awful since she did ask if i felt she was to big and I just didnt want to offend her, so just didnt say anything. I know ive made the situation worse by getting her hopes up though but i want to tell her sooner rather than later.

Do you think i should just send a message saying that i would rather ride him myself and i am sorry for messing her about but with hindsight and after alot of thought I feel she is slightly big for him and would benefit from less work not more!
 
When I was looking for shares I found honest owners much easier to deal with. It really annoyed me when people just didn't respond to messages. I'd be honest - but tactful - asap. Good luck!
 
As I put in the first thread go with your gut feelings and if you feel she is not suited for any reason then say no, from what you have put you dont sound convinced she is the right person for your horse, she is not the only person looking for a share im sure, so in the nicest way if you think it is right then say you dont think she is suited and keep looking there is nothing wrong in doing this it is your horse at the end of the day and you want what is best for him, i turned down four people before i found the perfect person, it can just take some time.
 
Thankyou everybody for your help.

I know it is right to turn her down im afraid I have to think of my boy and he wasnt happy carrying her. I know him very well and he was uncomfy, fighting with the bit and also sweating loads which he never does. Plus i think i am pretty selfish and would be a nightmare to share with to be honest lol!

I just felt so bad as she was so excited and loved him, she said she didnt feel big on him and felt as though he could carry her, but I was on the ground and felt differently. Due to her saying this and being so enthusiastic about the share I was reluctant to say no to her incase it could work and it was just me being overprotective, and I was scared to say no incase i was being stupid but reading replies i dont think i am!
 
I would tell her the truth - sensitively! You would offend her more by saying you didn't think she was suitable as she would think you didn't like her, or that you think her riding isn't good enough. Most people know when they are too big for a horse even if they don't like to admit it!
 
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