Advice please!

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iloveCharlie5

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I really need some advice! I recently bought a pony. When I first got him, he was perfect, and he was slowly helping me gain my confidence back, because I had a really bad experience with a horse before; he caused me an unexpected terrible fall. So I was a nervous rider to begin with, but I had started jumping and galloping again with this pony, and it was perfect. :D :)
And then he started getting really attached to his buddy; he does nearly everything with him.
But he was still really good, very reliable, until one day, my friend rode his duddy away from him when I was riding him in the school, and he got very anxious, nothing really serious, but it had completely destroyed my confidence because every time I take him away from his buddy, he goes without any resistance, then when we get in the school, he starts frantically neighing and has a couple of times done a few little bunny hops.
So now, whenever I ride in the school or walk away from the horse when we're out on a hack, I get really, really nervous, especially in the school. :eek:
But when the lady who looks after him rides him, he doesn't neigh or anything. She says I just need to show him who's boss, but I really want a good relationship with him, and I have to admit, I'm the kind that just wants to pet and feed my horses' treats, and never tell them off; I find it hard to tell them off. Please please help me! I need some advice! :confused:
Thanks, Kath
 
Listen to the lady who looks after him. He's lacking in confidence so he needs to know that you, his herd leader, will make sure he's ok. At the moment he doesn't see you as herd leader . . .

You don't need to be awful to him, just firm. Next time he neighs say something bracing like "Oh come on you silly nana, get on with it" and push him into trot. If he feels you being nervous he's going to get nervous so instead of tensing up try singing out loud to him. Something nice and jolly like "How much is that doggy in the window" works for me. If he hops then growl at him and tell him to get on with it and stop mucking about. He won't not love you if you are firm, your relationship will subtly change so he looks to you for support.

See if the other lady will tell you what she would do if she was worried about something he did.
 
Hello, and welcome to the forum.
I think what your pony is doing is very common really and yes you do have to tell him who's boss. However sometimes that's easier said than done. You need to try and ride him forward and keep him listening to you. I find if I'm feeling a little nervous then singing a song helps. When I was much much younger and had a very spooky horse I often used to have to sing for the whole hack, but it did get better. Is there anyone who can come out on foot with you for a little while to help you build your confidence? And do you have any lessons because a good instructor should be able to help when you are riding in the school.
It would be lovely to see some pictures of your pony if you have any.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on. :)

ETA - sorry Dee, cross posted, but similar responses. :)
 
My mare does the same, and I must admit it does make me a little wibbly sometimes too!
I find that simply ignoring it and carrying on with what ever you are working on does the trick - no fancy secrets! He needs to listen to you and keep working with you. If you remain calm then he will learn that he can trust you. If he is doing it to play you up then working through it will fix it, and if he is doing it because he is genuinly worried without his friend then you calming continuing to work and showing him that there is nothing to get worried about will help him.

Can you try and work him without his friend more so that he has a chance to get used to it? That way it should pretty quickly stop being a big deal. If you get nervy on your own is there someone you would trust to hack him out on his own or is there a different horse you could ride out with sometimes?

I always find having a neck strap on helps if I am having a worried day, maybe worth popping an old stirrup leather on?
 
Just one other thing that I thought of. When you are schooling, keep busy doing different things - don't just go round and round the outside. He will get bored and his mind will wander onto what his friend is doing. If I'm schooling a fresh or excitable horse then I try not to go more than a couple of markers before doing a different movement. Eg circle at one end, then make a change of rein across the diagonal, then maybe another circle or figure of 8, then a serpentine. If you keep his mind on trying to work out where you want him to go he won't get a chance to think about anything else. :)
 
Dee O'Dorant said:
Listen to the lady who looks after him. He's lacking in confidence so he needs to know that you, his herd leader, will make sure he's ok. At the moment he doesn't see you as herd leader . . .

You don't need to be awful to him, just firm. Next time he neighs say something bracing like "Oh come on you silly nana, get on with it" and push him into trot. If he feels you being nervous he's going to get nervous so instead of tensing up try singing out loud to him. Something nice and jolly like "How much is that doggy in the window" works for me. If he hops then growl at him and tell him to get on with it and stop mucking about. He won't not love you if you are firm, your relationship will subtly change so he looks to you for support.

See if the other lady will tell you what she would do if she was worried about something he did.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your advice! How firm is firm?? Okay, I will try to explain.. How far would be going too far? What sort of things should I do, besides growling? Would just kicking him on work?
 
nikicb said:
Hello, and welcome to the forum.
I think what your pony is doing is very common really and yes you do have to tell him who's boss. However sometimes that's easier said than done. You need to try and ride him forward and keep him listening to you. I find if I'm feeling a little nervous then singing a song helps. When I was much much younger and had a very spooky horse I often used to have to sing for the whole hack, but it did get better. Is there anyone who can come out on foot with you for a little while to help you build your confidence? And do you have any lessons because a good instructor should be able to help when you are riding in the school.
It would be lovely to see some pictures of your pony if you have any.
Good luck, and let us know how you get on. :)

ETA - sorry Dee, cross posted, but similar responses. :)
Click to expand...
Thank you :) I will definitely try singing, although he'll probably go tone deaf after a bit of my singing... :D
I have a really good instructor but I want to be able to do some schooling with my pony to try to get ready for a mini show at my stables, so I need to do some training more than once or twice a week, and still go hacking at weekends. I don't think the lady that looks after him has much more patience with me, because I have been nervous about things she will do without a second thought.
I will add some pics onto a new post on this thread!
Thanks so much for your advice!
Kath
 
ThePony said:
My mare does the same, and I must admit it does make me a little wibbly sometimes too!
I find that simply ignoring it and carrying on with what ever you are working on does the trick - no fancy secrets! He needs to listen to you and keep working with you. If you remain calm then he will learn that he can trust you. If he is doing it to play you up then working through it will fix it, and if he is doing it because he is genuinly worried without his friend then you calming continuing to work and showing him that there is nothing to get worried about will help him.

Can you try and work him without his friend more so that he has a chance to get used to it? That way it should pretty quickly stop being a big deal. If you get nervy on your own is there someone you would trust to hack him out on his own or is there a different horse you could ride out with sometimes?

I always find having a neck strap on helps if I am having a worried day, maybe worth popping an old stirrup leather on?
Click to expand...
Good to know that i'm not the only one with this problem! I will definitely try your advice! I will definitely try to work him without his friend; the last couple of hacks we have taken different routes home to get them used to being separated? But I have taken him in the school without his friend for the past around 2 months, and his neighing hasn't stopped. It isn't just once or twice, it is constant, which is why it's so frustrating...
A neck strap is a very good idea too, thanks!
Kath
 
nikicb said:
Just one other thing that I thought of. When you are schooling, keep busy doing different things - don't just go round and round the outside. He will get bored and his mind will wander onto what his friend is doing. If I'm schooling a fresh or excitable horse then I try not to go more than a couple of markers before doing a different movement. Eg circle at one end, then make a change of rein across the diagonal, then maybe another circle or figure of 8, then a serpentine. If you keep his mind on trying to work out where you want him to go he won't get a chance to think about anything else. :)
Click to expand...
I always try this; the last time I went in the school, my instructor had me twisting and turning around the school, leg yielding circles, counter countering, and he still kept neighing and looking back towards where his stable is! :/ But I will keep trying your advice!
Thanks, Kath
 
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