Caledonia
Well-Known Member
Seconded - there are far too many horses in the world as it is!
Keep her, and make your decision further down the line. You'll regret it when wondering what has happened to her.
Advice pls - what should I do, feel pressure from all sides!
- Thread starter Sunny08
- Start date
Seconded - there are far too many horses in the world as it is!
Keep her, and make your decision further down the line. You'll regret it when wondering what has happened to her.
Pedantic
Well-Known Member
Your life your body your horse, as others say, if you sell her under pressure from family members you will resent it at some point, being as costs are minimal as you have a farm, I would keep her and get someone to keep her ticking over for you till you have had baby, "then" review how you feel about the situation.
I have never gone along with this idea that mum and dads life stop as soon as children come on the scene, yes you have a responcability to look after love and care for children, and enjoy that part of being a parent, but that doesn't mean you have to not have a life of your own as well, unless you want that as a weapon to throw in their face when they are older of " I gave up everything for you, and you do/did this xyz ect.
I have never gone along with this idea that mum and dads life stop as soon as children come on the scene, yes you have a responcability to look after love and care for children, and enjoy that part of being a parent, but that doesn't mean you have to not have a life of your own as well, unless you want that as a weapon to throw in their face when they are older of " I gave up everything for you, and you do/did this xyz ect.
Ted's mum
Well-Known Member
if it were me i'd turn her away for a year or so..then re-back her or bring her back into work...depends on the horse
rhia589
Member
i sold my horse under the same situation after several failed loan attempts, iv regretted it ever since and sincerly wish i had trusted my own feelings and instincts, that was 4 years ago and i dont regret it any less now than i did then. You know whats right for you, u can always decide to sell later but u may well never get the chance to buy her back if u sell now.
honetpot
Well-Known Member
When I had my first child we were stoney broke, as he was a schoolmaster I was able to put him out on loan for a while. When I had my second child I had him at home and one of the first things I did when I got home from hospital was poo picked.
When you have children, how ever much you want them and love them you can end up resenting them. Me time is so important as a new Mum, time not cooking ,cleaning, shopping, looking after baby and hubby. Keep your mare until you feel ready if you need or want to part with her.
If you only go and spend half an hour with her a day it will be worth it, some thing that wants just a scratch and some food and is happy. Bliss.
My children are now in their 20,s, I spent 16 years seeing they were safe and well mounted its now horse 'me time'.
When you have children, how ever much you want them and love them you can end up resenting them. Me time is so important as a new Mum, time not cooking ,cleaning, shopping, looking after baby and hubby. Keep your mare until you feel ready if you need or want to part with her.
If you only go and spend half an hour with her a day it will be worth it, some thing that wants just a scratch and some food and is happy. Bliss.
My children are now in their 20,s, I spent 16 years seeing they were safe and well mounted its now horse 'me time'.
thinlizzy
Well-Known Member
your not being selfish at all esp when you have a farm , i have five and my horse just gives me that sane time haha just grow a thick skin
Sunny08
Well-Known Member
Thank you everyone, you have made me feel much, much better. 
Kellys Heroes
Well-Known Member
How about part loaning her? You could get a bit of money from that plus have someone else working her too - less risk for you!
I don't think you're selfish at all, if I was in your position I'd tell all sides that I was keeping her as you've had her since forever and you can't be without her!
That's just me though, I know plenty of people who have carried on riding after having a baby - one girl is even bringing on a project horse, she just wears a BP and hat all the time she is round him to minimise the risk of getting injured.
Whatever you decide, take your time and think it through properly - nobody can put any pressure on you she's your horse
Congrats on your baby too!
Agreed with the others btw - from what I've heard even that hours worth of mucking out and grooming a day, keeps you sane and gives you some 'you' time!!
I don't think you're selfish at all, if I was in your position I'd tell all sides that I was keeping her as you've had her since forever and you can't be without her!
That's just me though, I know plenty of people who have carried on riding after having a baby - one girl is even bringing on a project horse, she just wears a BP and hat all the time she is round him to minimise the risk of getting injured.
Whatever you decide, take your time and think it through properly - nobody can put any pressure on you she's your horse
Congrats on your baby too!
Agreed with the others btw - from what I've heard even that hours worth of mucking out and grooming a day, keeps you sane and gives you some 'you' time!!
Chestnuttymare
Well-Known Member
KEEP THE HORSE!!!!!
It is right what everyone is saying. You can so lose your identity when you have a baby (congratulations btw). You should have something for you too. She is beautiful, would you really be happy with a placid dull wee horse (no offence to anyone with a placid dull wee horse
). I always think that the money and time I invest in my horse, I want something I like to ride and also something that I can look at and think WOW!
It is right what everyone is saying. You can so lose your identity when you have a baby (congratulations btw). You should have something for you too. She is beautiful, would you really be happy with a placid dull wee horse (no offence to anyone with a placid dull wee horse
). I always think that the money and time I invest in my horse, I want something I like to ride and also something that I can look at and think WOW!WeeBrown
Well-Known Member
I think you should do what your husband says and get a happy hacker cob....it will come in very handy.
Let's face it, when the baby is old enough it's going to get a pony and what will your husband be riding when you are on your mare?!!!
On a serious note I'm glad you're keeping your mare, she looks gorgeous.
Let's face it, when the baby is old enough it's going to get a pony and what will your husband be riding when you are on your mare?!!!
On a serious note I'm glad you're keeping your mare, she looks gorgeous.
Mike007
Well-Known Member
Yes ,another male point of view. I totaly agree with pedantic.What you do must be your decision.I would warn you that your appetite for risk will alter once you have your baby. Well known phenomenon . Your priorities will alter , nothing wrong with that. The best advice I can give is find a young enthusiastic sharer to bring your horse on, and stall for time. Then see how you feel. Oh and congratulations.
Alec Swan
...
Sunny08,
that's a valid point raised by Mike007, in that your priorities may very well change when this baby arrives! If your mare means THAT much to you, then sell her when the choice is yours, and it's what you actually "need" to do! Parting with your mare when you've reached your own decision will lesson the regret. Give in to pressure, and you will regret it that decision.
I'm not so sure that telling your outlaws to get stuffed would be such a good idea! Perhaps you could point out that when you married, then the mare was part of the deal. That may be a more tactful approach, though in reality, it's the same thing, I suppose!
As others, many congratulations, on your good news.
Alec.
that's a valid point raised by Mike007, in that your priorities may very well change when this baby arrives! If your mare means THAT much to you, then sell her when the choice is yours, and it's what you actually "need" to do! Parting with your mare when you've reached your own decision will lesson the regret. Give in to pressure, and you will regret it that decision.
I'm not so sure that telling your outlaws to get stuffed would be such a good idea! Perhaps you could point out that when you married, then the mare was part of the deal. That may be a more tactful approach, though in reality, it's the same thing, I suppose!
As others, many congratulations, on your good news.
Alec.