Advice re someone exercising my horse for me

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Sandylou

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A few months ago I made an agreement with a friend of mine that she could ride my horse twice a week as she had lost hers a couple of years ago and I will need help with exercising mine through the winter.
My boy is 6 and at the beginning of this year we had a few issues which I have managed to work through and he is going really well with me now.
The girl who rides him in the week has said that he has done a few things recently that were part his issues at the start of the year. and this worries me as I don't want to have to iron it all out again.
I have to ride my boy to keep him reassured and relaxed but my friend is one for just sitting on him, long rein, no leg and not really giving him much direction. Also, she doesn't really work him and just bumbles along both in the school and on hacks. Last week she did 20 mins walking and 10 mins trot as a schooling session whereas I'm doing 20 mins trot and 10 mins walk as he's fit enough and needs the mental stimulation.
I've suggested several times that she have lessons with my instructor so that she has a feel for what we're trying to achieve but she's only had 1 so far. I mentioned about wrapping her legs around and having more of a contact to let him know she's there too but it doesn't seem to sink in.
I would like her to keep riding him as I really like her and she's a friend but if his issues are going to resurface as a result then I'd rather just ride him myself.
What should I do? :confused:
 
Talk to her! Surely she will understand that your horse is young and not yet established so needs to be ridden in a certain way for the time being - lessons is a great idea.
If the issues are resurfacing use that as an excuse (if you need one) to insist that she has regular lessons for a while, just to make sure that you are all continuing his education in a consistent manner.
 
If the girl has noticed that his issues are starting to resurface this could be a good way of telling her nicely that it could be the way she is riding him, use phrases like, is it just me or does he ;;;;;; with you, and allow her to give some imput, you don't have to do as she suggests, but this way you won't be blameing her as such. Perhaps she could sit in on your lesson and she may take notice and learn alongside you(maybe she cann't afford a lesson) and as OP said talk to her.
 
I'm a sharer so can help with the other perspective on this :-)

As a sharer you obviously have your own opinions and views but you have to ride within the parameters set by your horses owner. If they are so far from your own inclinations that there isn't any overlap you find another owner. Sharing is about matching yourself with the yard, owner AND the horse becasue you can't change any of them.

If you currently have an informal arrangement with a friend it might be hard for you to start imposing boundaries now... I take it you don't have a share agreement written down or anything?

Perhaps if you say to your sharer that you would like her to continue riding and now she's been doing it for a while make it 'official' then that would give you a forum to discuss what you expect, and also what you can offer, e.g. reserve some specific days for her to ride every week.

You migh talso help keep it friendly by phrasing changes you'd like to see as being about educting your horse rather than your sharer...
e.g. state that you want her to have a lesson with your instructor every week/two weeks/whatever so that your horse gets a consistent message. (Rather than so sharer gets the message if you see what I mean.)
Having set day(s) could help with that, e.g. sharer rides Mon and Thurs every week and will have a lesson on the Mon.

Good luck.
 
You have to insist she has lessons with your instructor - or stop her riding. There isn't a third way. The horse will never progress if he is getting mixed messages. Whether you pay/she pays/you go halves is up to you guys, but there is no option as I see it.

Even if someone is a brilliant rider, if they are riding the horse differently its going to confuse the horse, unless it is really well established. I have recently had similar situation, I was trying to get my young horse off its forehand, whilst the other girl (who I was paying) insisted that as long as he was in an outline he was good, so she was just teaching him to pound around on his forehand in a false outline - and as she thought my instructor was pants the arrangement had to come to an end to save the horse. And the horse has come on so so much more quickly without her working in a completely different direction.
 
Thanks for the replies everyone.

I am planning to start a discussion about his progress with her to let her know what he needs in the way of exercising so will again suggest lessons. I've been fretting over how to approach the subject so thanks for all the advice re how to word things :)
I just hope that she listens to me because, as I mentioned, I have suggested things before and explained the reasons behind it e.g. "maybe try wrapping your legs around him as it reassures him that you are there. I've found it's the best way to relax him".....and along the same lines re a contact. "I've found that if I do lots of transitions/circles/serpentines/changes of rein he stays focused and interested"
She has also watched me have a few lessons.

Tickles....you sound like the perfect sharer! :) But it isn't a share agreement as she is only riding him (on 2 set days a week). All finances, yard duties and upkeep are down to me so I see it as a favour for a favour......she wants something to ride and I need someone to help with week day exercise during the winter.

She's a lovely person who has unfortunately picked up bad habits but it's about my boy at the end of the day and I need to do whats best for him. I think she would maybe be better with an older horse that doesn't need educating and working as much as mine but hopefully we can find a way for her to carry on riding him.

Thanks again everyone :)
 
Agree with Pedantic, only you can do it to your standard. You can’t insist on lessons because of the financial impact so I would call it a day. Would be awful if she undid the work you have put in. I have a 6 year old who has to be ‘ridden’ like yours, there’s no way I’d let someone muck her up at such a crucial age. I pay a staff member to exercise my girl twice a week and they go brilliantly well, she is teaching my horse the stuff I can’t. Don’t let your friendship and the loss of her horse muddy your decision.
 
joelb said:
Agree with Pedantic, only you can do it to your standard. You can’t insist on lessons because of the financial impact so I would call it a day. Would be awful if she undid the work you have put in. I have a 6 year old who has to be ‘ridden’ like yours, there’s no way I’d let someone muck her up at such a crucial age. I pay a staff member to exercise my girl twice a week and they go brilliantly well, she is teaching my horse the stuff I can’t. Don’t let your friendship and the loss of her horse muddy your decision.
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You are right Joelb. It is a crucial time and I've just got him going nicely.
In an ideal world me and my friend can work this out. I will give it one last chance and if things don't change over the next few weeks I will call it a day.
 
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