advice/tricks needed... how to fake confidence? (long...)

Agree with the poster who suggested that some of this is because Raff is your horse, the riding school horses are someone elses responsibility and they are saying that you are ok to ride them. Try getting an instructor you trust to come to you and then they can tell you that you are ok with Raff. The old tips are the best, can't count the number of times I have had to tell people to breath! If you have a background in psychology do you know about square breathing? It helps you to concentrate on that rather than other things, may be worth a try. Try not to invest too much in riding Raff, just enjoy being with him.
smile.gif
 
*puts on pointy boot and attempts to kick ccp with it while balancing on crutches*

i think you did really well riding Raff yesterday. Of course he was a bit bright, any horse would have been! You weren't terrified (whatever you say now!) because you didn't get off, you rode through it, 10/10 for that.
Can you bring him here tomorrow (if it's not icy/snowy), i think S might have plans...!
 
[ QUOTE ]
*puts on pointy boot and attempts to kick ccp with it while balancing on crutches*

i think you did really well riding Raff yesterday. Of course he was a bit bright, any horse would have been! You weren't terrified (whatever you say now!) because you didn't get off, you rode through it, 10/10 for that.
Can you bring him here tomorrow (if it's not icy/snowy), i think S might have plans...!

[/ QUOTE ]

yup, am planning on bringing him tomorrow if all the snow/ice have gone (can't drive lorry in ice!). i'm just going to force myself to keep at it... because i KNOW he's safe and it;s MY problem... but i'm putting a martingale back on him! and i'm lunging him before i get back on.
if i chicken out/it's too icy to drive Katie, then S said i could ride one of hers... x
 
I'm another one with confidence issues...... Had no nerves whatsoever as a kid/teenager, had a 10 year break from riding (and had 2 kids) and then fell off on my first lesson back on! Horse dropped a shoulder and ducked inside a jump wing and I didn't see it coming! Gave myself some seriously impressive bruises from landing on said jump wing and majorly dented my confidence.

The thing is I want to enjoy riding again and I know I can, but I am scared of falling off and I'm scared that I wont see a situation coming again...... I rode a lazy mare at the RS and gained enough confidence to ride a more forward going one but only in the indoor school. The new RS we now go to don't have an indoor school and I don't know the horses (daughter is only 7 so I watch pony lessons).......

Anyway, I'm rambling now! I also think you're doing great - Raff wont mind if you bimble around for a few weeks doing little hacks in walk. Grooming and the stuff on the ground will all help, but you need to be a bit kinder to yourself IMO.

Stick with it x
 
God i could have written this.
Hovis is a saint. Admittedly a saint with a mischevious streak a mile wide and a neck that makes the forth road bridge look small but still a saint.
Yet i have been known to be shaking so badly before riding him that I can't tack up. Thats riding at home in our menage.
Before riding anywhere else I am a complete mess.
I love him with all my heart and i watch hubby doing things on him and i KNOW its me.
But I am making myself accept the smallest of things as a huge sucess. I went to a jumping clinic with my instructor last week. I didn't speak to my hubby the whole way there and couldn't tack up for the shaking. I was nearly in tears at the thought of cantering and making myself look a prat in front of everyone. But I did it. Ok i jumped smaller than anyone else but at the end of the session my instructor said i was the star of the night - because to do what i did took more guts than anyone else there.
You are doing little things that are nothing to some people and the world to people like you and I. In my book that makes you very brave and something of a star.
Keep going - I will celebrate the little things with you. We can have a "today I got on my horse without being sick club" together!
 
Try some rescue remedy...for you and the horse
cool.gif


Time is what will get you there. Regular, short uneventful hacks will slowly build your confidence. Make sure you are with someone to chat to. Just spend lots of time with your horse and build up a good bond. Do lots of ground work with him and try and have some fun.
cool.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]


i am going to keep having lessons at riding school, as i'm not nervous then... even though i don't know the horse... it's so random. why am i scared of riding my own, safe horse... but not a random one?
confused.gif



[/ QUOTE ]

This is totally me! I can jump 3' 3" in my riding lessons, and canter about confident as anything - put me on my share horse and I am really nervous. I think it comes down to trust.

I trust that the riding school horse is going to be safe, because its a riding school horse - and I trust the instructor to know the horse so I think I just automatically relax more.

I don't trust my share horse though! lol - I am hoping that will come with time and I think I am going to have a lesson on him and see if that helps.

Its a trust thing, I really think so - and regaining that will take time - but if Raff is as good as you know he is, it will come back and when you trust him more you will be confident again.

good luck - you are so lucky to have such a good horse.
laugh.gif
 
It sounds to me like you're more scared of letting people down than you are of Raff. Although you may have instigated the move, husbands are very much like horses, you can never make them do anything they don't want to do. So no matter how much you think you are responsible for moving a long way away, spending a lot of money, making your OH build stables you haven't FORCED anybody to do anything and you don't owe anybody anything. If your OH had any issues he would have raised them before moving so you don't need to prove anything to him or anybody else. From what I remember, Raff wasn't your only motivation for moving, you had your family's best interests at heart, and having Raff at home was an add on. By having him at home he's not really costing you much (not in the same way that having him at livery would) either so if you look at it that way, whether you ride Raff or just pat him is totally irrelevant. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and just enjoy him. If that means walking down the road for 10 minutes and then coming home, then so be it. If it means going to horse camp that's great too.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top