advice wanted novice loan problem

I think you're being very sensible and practical. You need to do things one at a time and the first is building up your confidence, however long it takes and go at the speed that suits you. Once you have plenty of confidence you will be able to cope with the odd bit of "naughty".

At the end of the day, we ride to enjoy ourselves not to be frightened to death!

Keep us posted on your progress.
 
abc321 I think you have done very well to take this horse out on your own, especially after he took charge like that. His owner is unbelievably irresponsible to let you take him out alone, knowing that he is likely to nap or get very strong with you.

You have bonded with the horse and you will miss him, but I honestly think that you have done the right thing as the whole arrangement seemed very dubious to me.

Confidence takes a very long time to aquire and it only takes a second to lose. A horse behaving like this will chip away at your confidence until it has all evapourated.

So, yes, do as others have suggested and find a good riding establishment who will take care of you and ensure that you make progress with your riding.

Don't feel that you have failed, it's not your fault, good luck. :)
 
Sorry but I don't buy into the definition often put on here of bolting. Here is the definition I've found and by that, the OPs horse bolted:

Definition: A horse that bolts is a horse that suddenly tries to run away. This reaction can be caused by pain, fear or insecurity.

1. To move or spring suddenly.
2. To start suddenly and run away: The horse bolted at the sound of the shot. The frightened child bolted from the room.
 
elderlycoupleindevon said:
His owner is unbelievably irresponsible to let you take him out alone, knowing that he is likely to nap or get very strong with you.

... the whole arrangement seemed very dubious to me.
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In fairness, I think this is a bit harsh. I don't know a single horse who could be trusted with a nervous novice of this sort in this situation - though I would say my old cob is about as safe as they come. Sounds like the horse reacted in the normal equine manner to something and the OP wasn't equipped to handle it - just as a lot of people aren't necessarily equipped to handle what their horse decides to throw at them. It's all part of having "real" horses, not you average riding school plod. If the OP's confidence was shaken, it's as well she goes back to having lessons and looks for a loan in the future somewhere where she can hack in company and gain confidence in the school I don't think it's fair to slate the owner when she's not here to give her side of the story - especially since the OP doesn't seem to hold a grudge against her!
 
JustFindingTheDecorations said:
In fairness, I think this is a bit harsh. I don't know a single horse who could be trusted with a nervous novice of this sort in this situation - though I would say my old cob is about as safe as they come. Sounds like the horse reacted in the normal equine manner to something and the OP wasn't equipped to handle it - just as a lot of people aren't necessarily equipped to handle what their horse decides to throw at them. It's all part of having "real" horses, not you average riding school plod. If the OP's confidence was shaken, it's as well she goes back to having lessons and looks for a loan in the future somewhere where she can hack in company and gain confidence in the school I don't think it's fair to slate the owner when she's not here to give her side of the story - especially since the OP doesn't seem to hold a grudge against her!
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Err, my point exactly :confused:
 
It sounds like you've lost some confidence and maybe going back to having lessons will help. I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago where I helped out a lot at a local riding school and felt pretty confident but took on a horse share with a horse that was suitable for a novice and it shattered my confidence! It didn't help the horse was 17hh and I'm just 5 ft! But I went back to having lessons at a local riding school, which I thoroughly enjoyed and helped built my confidence back up. I'm now sharing a lovely 13.3 pony who's an absolute angel and who I feel confident with as well. It could be that although the horse you're loaning is suitable for a novice, maybe you both just don't 'click'. Have some lessons but keep searching for another loan, I'm sure something will come up - good luck! :)
 
I think you have made a very sensible decision, OP.
Whereabouts are you? I am looking for a sharer for my lovely cob girly, she would suit you down to the ground, plus I would like company to hack with.
I am nr Dover, Kent xx
 
To defend the owner he has never done this with her. She knew he can be strong but he has always stopped even with me. I tried going out in company today at her suggestion to see if it helped my confidence but was still nervous so best to stop. She has been quite encouraging, I can be quite down on myself.
 
debsg said:
I think you have made a very sensible decision, OP.
Whereabouts are you? I am looking for a sharer for my lovely cob girly, she would suit you down to the ground, plus I would like company to hack with.
I am nr Dover, Kent xx
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I'm in Yorkshire sorry.

Also it occurred to me it may not be obvious from my post, but for a month or so the owner has been taking me out herself or I have been with a friend. Only the last week or so I have started going out alone (or with non horsey husband) for the first time as seemed fine and I said I was OK.
 
I've been having a few lessons struggling with nerves though. I feel nervous when I see the horse react to something scary eg noise yesterday my rs horse reacted to the wind outside then shortly after jumped and the next thing I was sitting on the floor. My first ever fall. Also I'm worried about getting too close to another horse and being kicked as they naturally try and follow the one in front and need pulling back and when the horse trips or leans that I'll slide off. I feel unsafe as hear how dangerous riding is and bad falls people have eg broken bones. I feel conscious of not being completely in control. My instructor says I have a good seat don't look unstable and need more confidence. She tells me to sit up and that was the only thing she said I could have done differently to not fall off. They have been nice and said I could ride a quieter horse. I may go back to private lessons. I think this started at a previous rs when I was not given much guidance and started feeling unsafe.
 
It sounds as though you really need to go absolutely back to basics on a very, very quiet horse. Remember they feel what we project to them, so even if you are pooping it sit up straight and take a deep breath, it makes all the difference to what you project.
I had a fall years ago now and completely lost my confidence, I'm still not now as gung ho as I was but am pretty OK.
You need to learn to visualise the positives, try sitting around - not on a horse! - imagining going for a hack, or even just a nice relaxed walk around the school. We can train our minds to be positive.
Rescue Remedy is fab, I lived on the stuff for a while!
Good luck and if you are sure you want to continue then stick with it.
 
I would agree with the general gist of previous posts: I think you are right to have given up on this particular loan and to re-think what you are going to do.

Your story is similar to mine in as much as I took on a loan that was, ultimately, too much horse for me. She arrived in a poor state and it took 6 months for her to get fit. During that time she taught me soooo much (pretty much a schoolmistress) and I was confident enough to go out on her on my own. But as she got fitter, she took advantage of my inexperience and finally had me off 3 times in 3 weeks (breaking my leg the 3rd time!). She bolted (yes, really bolted by all definitions) and dumped me in a blackberry bush!! :eek: :D

It took a long time for me to get my confidence back and LOADS of lessons with an excellent instructor who understood my problems. I rode a school horse, Bob, that I had ridden for years in lessons and was very confident on.

I think I rather rushed into buying H (a year ago, now) and I am still building things up, but I don't regret it after all. I have at least 2x a week lessons and we only hack out with others (although we have come back on our own once - still working on that!), usually with Lovely Bob and his owner!

I am so lucky that my yard is specifically aimed at 'first time owners' and they are VERY VERY supportive. The YO will work with you and your horse to get them how you want and I can't thank her enough for what she has done with H!

If only you could find a place like that? Keep having lessons, is my advice. If you can get confident in the school, it will stand you in good stead when going out. You will know that the horse can't go anywhere, so you will feel more confident inside and your instructor will help you master techniques that you will need outside.

Good luck!

(pity you're not nearer!!)

Sorry I've rambled on so much!
 
Hi, have you thought about hypnotherapy ? It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety issues generally so it might help throughout your life. Try to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Take a step or two back with the thought that you can move back up when you are ready. Riding is supposed to be fun. Why not try and join a local riding club and just join in the stable management to start with.
 
I've been going to a riding school for quite a few months now and had a lot of individual lessons every week. I had my first jumping lesson in years today. I'm riding the same horse a lot - a part TB. He is quite lazy in the school and old which helps as I trust him not to run off. I have done a lot of canter work. He has a nice canter, and the instructors jump him. I'm not yet brave enough to hack out but I'm considering a beginner's pony trek with my husband.
 
You are right to have your wits about you but you do need to overlook small things. If we were constantly worrying about every ear prick, every possibility of what could go wrong, then we'd never get on a horse again (any of us, regardless of experience or technical ability). Horse riding is a dangerous sport but if you're willing to take the risk and do all you can to minimise risks as much as you can, then go for it.

Firstly do you trust the owner of the horse? If so and they are saying it is suitable for a novice like yourself, then relax a bit more. The owner knows the horse best and if s/he says the horse is suitable for a novice and you believe what they're telling you, then great. I still personally wouldn't advise a novice hacking out unsupervised though - a novice should always be in company in my personal opinion.

As others have said horses will test a new rider and not always act as they normally would with their established rider, until they have got used to you. They do try to push your buttons and see what little things they can get away with but it shouldn't be any dangerous or silly behaviour. Any silly behaviour needs to be firmly corrected in the best and most appropriate way depending on the situation.

I do think lessons would help improve your confidence and then maybe you can look into loaning again. A confident rider is automatically a safer one.
 
Nice to hear your lessons are progressing.

I think you were right to give up the loan - If you are panicking everytime a horse moves it's ears it's just going to be unpleasant for you and for the horse. It's a vicious circle.

Horses naturally move their ears around - They are naturally prey animals and need to be on the alert for any big scary lions! ;)

You getting nervous only makes the horse think he actually has something to be nervous of, So then he's going to tense up and listen everywhere, And jump at every little thing because he will think that there definitely must be a big lion about to eat him!

You see where it's going?

I hope your lessons help, And maybe consider something ploddy as a loan when you are ready.
 
have you thought about driving instead of riding? perhaps this would suit you better?

You seem to have made great progress, and have more ability than you give yourself credit for :)
 
Well done on having your first jumping lesson! It sounds like you just needed a quieter or even lazy horse to build confidence, my share is very alert on a hack alone, she is always stopping, looking, sometimes sidestepping a bit around wheelie bins etc, but she is essentially a novice horse. The only thing that makes her not a novice ride is when she sees a stretch of nice green grassy track she loves a gallop and 'tanks off' being excitable and a bit naughty as opposed to bolting. She would always stop if there was a dog walker, road or anything ahead, and there is the difference.

Keep going with your lessons, do the riding school do hacks as well? They probably do, when you feel like you are more confident, you could ask to go on a hack out every now and then with this horse you trust and the instructor or even a group, and then you could ask to try some different horses so you can have a bit more experience under your belt.

Riding school horses are often very different to privately owned ones and they are used to different people getting on and working, some horses test you and take a long time to develop a relationship with you, my share is so much different to how she was when I was first riding her and I am completely relaxed now that I trust her too :-)

Good luck, there are plenty of ploddy lazy old things out there, your legs will get tired eventually and you might want to try something more responsive! xx
 
If your in North Yorkshire PM me, I had a completely 110% safe cob who would love someone to take him for quiet hacks. We are on the N.Yorks/Teesside border though
 
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