After my visit to A+E to see a facial surgeon...

[McNally]

I am devastated to be thinking of giving my horse up- Your honest opinions please....

I had a "fairly difficult" OTT TB for 4yrs who i did ok with we had bad patches but got through them and i improved him no end but ultimatly decided i was not confident/competitive enough to take him further and he wanted constant work etc so i gave him to someone to event and he loves it!
So i wanted a quiet horse to accompany my daughter as she want to go further and faster than my legs let me!
A friend arranged a V quiet TB for me on trial. When it arrived i was horrified by its condition and angry that it had 2 knackered front tendons and sarcoids. At this point it tried to back out but felt very pressured to go with it for a while, I was also made to feel ungratefull for my free horse.
I got past this and he gradually put on condition. I had the sarcoids removed and discussed the future of managing them with the vet- also talked about his legs and it was the vets opinion his legs will hold up to hacking/fun rides etc.
I decided to give it a proper try as he is the most lovely kind horse i've EVER met.
Once he looked fit enough i got on...instantly i was thrown off and injured my knee badly. I couldnt ride for 6 weeks but a friend rode him a couple of times and he was ok.
I blamed myself he was another ex racer and i put a gp saddle on- he'd never worn one before and hadnt been sat on in 12 months (My old horse as i say was VERY sharp but he was fine about first wearing a GP as are all the racers i work with who occasionally wear one)
One i recovered i nervously rode him round the roads with no trouble. Then due to moving and lots of other things i didnt ride for 2 weeks.
On Monday i decided to start properly and bring him into work. I tacked up and left him to stand in the tack for a while then got a leg up.
He completely freaked out and I'm not sure what happened but i was on the floor bleeding heavily from my face The fencing was broken, a metal 5 bar gate was ripped off its hinges and my reins are broken.
I cant get back on him, I love him to bits and would do anything to keep him but next time it could be my neck?
What do you think? I dont know if i'm being a complete wimp! I know his owner and my friend who arranged it think its something to do with me as apparently he has never done anything before (i have however spoken to a few jockeys who used to know him and dont think thats true)
I feel like i have failed and am just being pathetic.

Thank you to anyone who managed to read all that ;-) xx

 

[Quartz]

Personally I would not get back on that horse again either. He doesn't sound like the quiet hacker you were looking for whatsoever. I wouldn't feel pathetic, afterall you got back on after a nasty fall the first time round.

It really annoys me when people do that 'oh he's never done that before'!! Leaving you feeling like its something wrong with you. Its not always true in my opinion and people often say it when they feel guilty about it!!!

Good luck with whatever decision you take.

 

[MerrySherryRider]

I know his owner and my friend who arranged it think its something to do with me as apparently he has never done anything before (i have however spoken to a few jockeys who used to know him and dont think thats true)

I know what my opinion of 'the friend' and your YO is, after off loading this poor horse onto you, as an unasked for, gift.

You, on the other hand, are far too kind and compassionate for your own good. Sadly, it was a happy day when this horse came to you, poor lad.
My suggestion would be that the orginal owner or YO get him sorted under saddle or give you free livery and hay or take him back.
Most certainly, not your fault.

 

[quirky]

Sorry, but I wouldn't be getting back on, however much I liked the horse.

You have a family who both want and need you to be around. I know we all run a risk when we get on any horse but to keep getting on a horse that chucks you off is madness.

There are plenty of decent, sane horses out there without having to be stuck with one that seems intent on killing you.

 

[0ldmare]

So sorry to hear about your accident. I remember this horse being dumped on you a while back. Frankly I wouldnt get on it again either and I really dislike the implication that its somehow your fault! You just got on it for goodness sake.

Fond of the horse as you are, please dont risk riding it again. If the friend likes the horse so much maybe they would like it?

 

[Persephone]

Can the person who gave you a leg up give you some idea what happened? When you are in the throes of being thrown about it can be hard to know what is going on, maybe a better idea from the ground?

I would just want to know to be able to get my own head around it, especially as you were so badly hurt. It may help you to be able to move on in your own mind.

I agree with the poster above, I wouldn't want to get back on him again either.

 

[Devonshire dumpling]

Nooooo don't get back on him!!!!!!!! You do sound a lovely person and I for one don't want you getting injured again!

I know some TB's are plods and always will be, but in general they are not the type of horse who do well out of work. I ride a coloured cob and he can be ridden daily or once a year and he is always calm, you need something you can throw away or ride when you feel like it! xx

 

[Wagtail]

I am devastated to be thinking of giving my horse up- Your honest opinions please....

I had a "fairly difficult" OTT TB for 4yrs who i did ok with we had bad patches but got through them and i improved him no end but ultimatly decided i was not confident/competitive enough to take him further and he wanted constant work etc so i gave him to someone to event and he loves it!
So i wanted a quiet horse to accompany my daughter as she want to go further and faster than my legs let me!
A friend arranged a V quiet TB for me on trial. When it arrived i was horrified by its condition and angry that it had 2 knackered front tendons and sarcoids. At this point it tried to back out but felt very pressured to go with it for a while, I was also made to feel ungratefull for my free horse.
I got past this and he gradually put on condition. I had the sarcoids removed and discussed the future of managing them with the vet- also talked about his legs and it was the vets opinion his legs will hold up to hacking/fun rides etc.
I decided to give it a proper try as he is the most lovely kind horse i've EVER met.
Once he looked fit enough i got on...instantly i was thrown off and injured my knee badly. I couldnt ride for 6 weeks but a friend rode him a couple of times and he was ok.
I blamed myself he was another ex racer and i put a gp saddle on- he'd never worn one before and hadnt been sat on in 12 months (My old horse as i say was VERY sharp but he was fine about first wearing a GP as are all the racers i work with who occasionally wear one)
One i recovered i nervously rode him round the roads with no trouble. Then due to moving and lots of other things i didnt ride for 2 weeks.
On Monday i decided to start properly and bring him into work. I tacked up and left him to stand in the tack for a while then got a leg up.
He completely freaked out and I'm not sure what happened but i was on the floor bleeding heavily from my face The fencing was broken, a metal 5 bar gate was ripped off its hinges and my reins are broken.
I cant get back on him, I love him to bits and would do anything to keep him but next time it could be my neck?
What do you think? I dont know if i'm being a complete wimp! I know his owner and my friend who arranged it think its something to do with me as apparently he has never done anything before (i have however spoken to a few jockeys who used to know him and dont think thats true)
I feel like i have failed and am just being pathetic.

Thank you to anyone who managed to read all that ;-) xx

I have an ex racer that does that, though thankfully not with me on board! He does it when I first put the saddle on. Completely freaks, pulls back, rears and panics. I had his saddles (all 3 of them) professionally checked and fitted, and the vet, chiro and physio all said his back was excellent. So we think it is a mental thing. I have managed to get him to come in now and be tacked up in his stable but I do his girth up one hole at a time and walk him round after each tightening. I also lunge him first if I have not ridden for a few days. If I ride every day or every other day, he will be fine, but if we have a break of more than 2 days he will freak again the next time his saddle is girthed up. And I mean, you can get your fist in it, it is so loose! Anyway, what I am saying is, it could be a mental or physical thing with his saddle. Has it been checked? Has his back been checked? If all is okay then do as I do and girth it up loosely then keep walking him round and girth up gradually. Then lunge him for 15 minutes in all three paces before you get on. Good luck. I'm sure you will be fine if you take things really slowly.

 

[justjoules]

I do not think you should feel you have failed at all but instead spin it around and look at what you have achieved. You got back on after a really nasty fall which is an achievement in iteself, you have turned this horse around in relation to his health and condition and have done your best with him. It sounds like you have been told he is something that he isn't so I would not hold yourself responsible. Personally I would not get back on him as he doesn't sound like the right horse for you. Perhaps when you feel up to it see if a friend who has a very calm, sensible horse would let you jump on and have a little play on it to slowly build your confidence up.

 

[misst]

Please do not get back on or at least not for a long long long time. It sounds as if he has some serious issues ?pain ?fear who knows Thankfully it sounds as if you will make a recovery this time - you might not next time. If you own him then I think either retire or even consider PTS as someone else could be injured. I am sure it is nothing to do with "you" and everything to do with the horse. Poor thing sounds as if he has been dumped on you. If you don't actually own him I would give him back - harsh but you need to put your own needs first. I do feel sorry for the horse and he may have solvable issues but maybe someone else should be solving them gentle ((hugs)).

 

[POLLDARK]

I should think you have had about enough by now, you would be very brave or foolhardy to have another go. You have done your best, more than can be said for the people who off loaded your 'gift horse' onto you. It won't reflect badly on you to let him go (one way or another) & find a horse thats suits you better. You only have one neck, look after it.

 

[Elsbells]

I have an ex racer that does that, though thankfully not with me on board! He does it when I first put the saddle on. Completely freaks, pulls back, rears and panics. I had his saddles (all 3 of them) professionally checked and fitted, and the vet, chiro and physio all said his back was excellent. So we think it is a mental thing. I have managed to get him to come in now and be tacked up in his stable but I do his girth up one hole at a time and walk him round after each tightening. I also lunge him first if I have not ridden for a few days. If I ride every day or every other day, he will be fine, but if we have a break of more than 2 days he will freak again the next time his saddle is girthed up. And I mean, you can get your fist in it, it is so loose! Anyway, what I am saying is, it could be a mental or physical thing with his saddle. Has it been checked? Has his back been checked? If all is okay then do as I do and girth it up loosely then keep walking him round and girth up gradually. Then lunge him for 15 minutes in all three paces before you get on. Good luck. I'm sure you will be fine if you take things really slowly.

Blimey! Do you want to have to do this each time you want to trot around the village with you're daughter??
Nah.........don't think so.
Lifes to short and you have a family to consider now. If something awful were to happen to you, they would never get over it. The horse on the other hand wouldn't even look back.
Get rid.

 

[La Fiaba]

If the owner and 'friend' are so convinced it's your fault tell them to get back on him and show you what to do. I'd bet good money they wont.

I wouldn't get back on this horse right now if I was you. In fact if you would prefer a quiet hacker then I'd say, get him rehomed and find yourself a nice horse, and don't let anyone push another unsuitable horse on you in the future. It's not about being a wimp, but being honest about your abilities and the suitability of the horse for you. Horse riding should be an enjoyable hobby for you, not a life or death experience. I really hope you feel better soon

 

[Allover]

I would say that if you do not have the time and confidence to put into getting this horse physically and mentally "right" then no you should not get on him.

I know hindsight is a great thing but from the original post it sounds like you were a bit complacent in getting on him after 2 weeks of no work, did you lunge him in his tack first to make sure he was comfortable about having it on?

As for people saying "its your fault", the fact that you are nervous of him (understandably so after your first ride!!!) will certainly transmit to him and put you both in a bad state of mind before your bum hits the saddle.

IMO it is ultimatey down to you to be honest with yourself about the feelings you have towards this horse as to whether you will ever be the rider he needs to be happy in his work.

I hope you feel better soon,

 

[McNally]

I do know your all right! I dont have a huuugge amount of self confidence and think as soon as someone implies something is my fault i go over and over thinking what i did wrong.
My non horsey partner gave me the leg up but his version of it is "the ******* thing just went mental legs everywhere it tried to kill her" mmm, not the very most helpful bless him! He cant handle blood and there was a lot of it- dont think he was quite on the planet!!!

Wagtail i know what your saying i just feel that its so instant, If i had a minute to think he's going to go and time to avert his attention or even bail out i would try again but like i said next time it could be my back or neck chances are i'm now already scarred for life - I cant risk it having a child- If i was seriously hurt her pony would also have to go and that would break her heart.

I'm not asking much am i!!?? I dont need a horse who is fast against the clock or clears 5 foot just one i can enjoy riding again.
The silly thing is once i get that horse i probably will ride every day again.
I am so sad for this poor boy. He trusted me and something i did hurt him- The change is incredible when he's in hand he could be handled by a child- well he is!!

 

[Elsbells]

Handled by a child! Well, he might well have to be soon, if your in hospital!!

 

[POLLDARK]

You say he trusted you & you hurt him !!!!!!!!I think the boot is on the other foot for sure. Let it go, move on, we all make mistakes in life don't make another by blaming yourself.

 

[Devonshire dumpling]

I do know your all right! I dont have a huuugge amount of self confidence and think as soon as someone implies something is my fault i go over and over thinking what i did wrong.
My non horsey partner gave me the leg up but his version of it is "the ******* thing just went mental legs everywhere it tried to kill her" mmm, not the very most helpful bless him! He cant handle blood and there was a lot of it- dont think he was quite on the planet!!!

Wagtail i know what your saying i just feel that its so instant, If i had a minute to think he's going to go and time to avert his attention or even bail out i would try again but like i said next time it could be my back or neck chances are i'm now already scarred for life - I cant risk it having a child- If i was seriously hurt her pony would also have to go and that would break her heart.

I'm not asking much am i!!?? I dont need a horse who is fast against the clock or clears 5 foot just one i can enjoy riding again.
The silly thing is once i get that horse i probably will ride every day again.
I am so sad for this poor boy. He trusted me and something i did hurt him- The change is incredible when he's in hand he could be handled by a child- well he is!!

Also if you feel you need an excuse, heres one for you!!!! Your little girl will be riding her pony next to him when you hack out, how would you feel if he had another turn and knocked her off her pony, or caused her pony to react, or if she saw her mummy hurt. Just not worth it! XX

 

[McNally]

Also if you feel you need an excuse, heres one for you!!!! Your little girl will be riding her pony next to him when you hack out, how would you feel if he had another turn and knocked her off her pony, or caused her pony to react, or if she saw her mummy hurt. Just not worth it! XX

The exact other reason i decided to call it a day with my last horse. I could handle his fizziness and sharpness untill one day he double barelled at my friend i was riding with- easy to stay on and not scary but could have really hurt the other rider if she was any closer.
My Little girl is my priority and her pony. (who incidentally stood very quietly whilst this was going on- an amazing little thing esp as he's only 4!)

 

[Elsbells]

Also if you feel you need an excuse, heres one for you!!!! Your little girl will be riding her pony next to him when you hack out, how would you feel if he had another turn and knocked her off her pony, or caused her pony to react, or if she saw her mummy hurt. Just not worth it! XX

Hear hear, dumpling!!

 

[navaho]

Also if you feel you need an excuse, heres one for you!!!! Your little girl will be riding her pony next to him when you hack out, how would you feel if he had another turn and knocked her off her pony, or caused her pony to react, or if she saw her mummy hurt. Just not worth it! XX

This is pretty much what i was going to say!! Its just not worth the risk & if your friends are genuine they will understand this as well.

 

[Persephone]

The exact other reason i decided to call it a day with my last horse. I could handle his fizziness and sharpness untill one day he double barelled at my friend i was riding with- easy to stay on and not scary but could have really hurt the other rider if she was any closer.
My Little girl is my priority and her pony. (who incidentally stood very quietly whilst this was going on- an amazing little thing esp as he's only 4!)

There are masses of lovely horses out there though. You don't have to give up, just look for something different?

 

[skydancer]

It sounds to me like he might be cold backed !!!

 

[Hippona]

Absoloutely don't give up horses.....but please don't get back on this horse.

It seems like he was 'forced' upon you ( possibly no-one else would touch him with a bargepole?)......IMO you should send him back and spend some time finding a lovely family horse and that you can have nice, safe fun on with your daughter.

It can't have been much fun for your OH and daughter to have seen his antics and you get hurt

 

[TheShark]

There is no shame in saying 'enough is enough'. Hope you recover soon.

 

[JessnGeorge]

It would be worth having bloods dones. I had a wonderful ex-racer for about 5 years who started to freak out when having his saddle on and girth tightend, turns out his worming had been so mis-managed (previous to my ownership) that he had an enlarged liver which was causing pain when being girthed up (he had a 5 stage vetting done before we got him). He was an angel in hand and had always been a dream to ride. I think it is worth further investigation but please don't ride if your gut instinct is that it is not safe. Your little girl needs her mummy and if this horse is in pain/sick or just unrideable, nothing is worth risking your health and mobility.

Let us know what happens

 

[Kenzo]

As much as there could be a logical reason for this behaviour and hopefully something that can be looked into and sorted, also it could just be a run of bad luck on your side..things happen in 3's an all as most of us know.

BUT

This is the bit I can't get my head round, it does seem a little convenient shall we say that this horse was free (nothing against free ex racers btw) but some are free for a good reason, also the fact that your friends made you feel ungrateful when this horse has put you in danger in more than one occassion and in hospital, I'm sorry but I'm all for a giving a horse a chance but when your a mother, you have a family, husband, job etc you need to think about riding something safe and predictable which is why you were looking for something else anyway, surely these friends should understand this and take the horse back.

If that was me (as in who gave you the horse), I'd feel terrible if the horse wasn't quite suitable, or needed a lot of work, or put you A&E for that matter! I'd wan't to take it back or at least sort him out for you first, doesn't sound like you were after a project horse after all.

Life is too short, plenty of horses out there that will suit you down to the ground without having to sort issues first, fine if you enjoy doing it but it's not what you go the horse for.

Good luck

 

[charlie76]

There will be an underlying reason for his behaviour. To me is sounds one of two things, ulcers- very common in ex racers or he is cold backed, the cold backed behaviour can be down to a number of reasons- sensitivity in the girth area, bad handling as a young horse, over tightening the girth before mounting, or he could have something more sinister such as kissing spine.
The cold backed horse can be managed by girth slowly and either lunging or walking in hand before mounting. However, can you really be bothered with having to do this everytime you want to ride?? If you have the horse as a competition horse and he was an outstanding horse then you may choose to manage a horse like this but as a happy hacker? I wouldn't. There are many many more suitable horses in the world. Lifes to short to be stuck with a horse you are nervous of.
You haven't let him down, he just needs a more experienced rider/handler.

 

[Ibblebibble]

As much as there could be a logical reason for this behaviour and hopefully something that can be looked into and sorted, also it could just be a run of bad luck on your side..things happen in 3's an all as most of us know.

BUT

This is the bit I can't get my head round, it does seem a little convenient shall we say that this horse was free (nothing against free ex racers btw) but some are free for a good reason, also the fact that your friends made you feel ungrateful when this horse has put you in danger in more than one occassion and in hospital, I'm sorry but I'm all for a giving a horse a chance but when your a mother, you have a family, husband, job etc you need to think about riding something safe and predictable which is why you were looking for something else anyway, surely these friends should understand this and take the horse back.

If that was me (as in who gave you the horse), I'd feel terrible if the horse wasn't quite suitable, or needed a lot of work, or put you A&E for that matter! I'd wan't to take it back or at least sort him out for you first, doesn't sound like you were after a project horse after all.

Life is too short, plenty of horses out there that will suit you down to the ground without having to sort issues first, fine if you enjoy doing it but it's not what you go the horse for.

Good luck

exactly!!

i think you have been used by these 'friends'! don't let them put you on a guilt trip to keep him, you and your daughters safety are far more important.

 

[McNally]

The owner has to be fair offered to come and ride him for me from my place and then i can see how things go- This is after she has had her baby tho so involves me keeping him a whole lot longer- which i dont really mind as i pay for my field not per horse so he's not costing me at the minute but i feel 1- the longer i keep him the harder it will be to let him go and 2- I have seen him behave for other people and he hacked out beautifully for me 2 weeks ago but i know even if i can ride him and he was fine there will always be that niggle that he might do it again.

He is not obviously cold backed in that he seems happier for riders to jump on rather than get on gently (surely for a cold backed horse this would send them through the roof?) I have given his back a really good feel- I'm no expert but could always tell when my old horse had the slightest soreness and could point out to the back lady where the problem was- i can find nothing with this horse. His back had been done about 4 months ago now and i had someone coming to check him next month.
He's not slightly bothered by girthing- I tacked him up many times prior to riding and just left him to get used to a gp saddle- I never lunged though as he has done his legs last year.
I have just heard someone has shown the owner an interest for their 9yr old- fully knowing my side of the story AND having seen my face (and the limp from last time!) some ppl are just unreal! I'm now quite cross as mybe they done even believe the whole thing!?