Aggresive relative of the Yard Owner.

[welshcobabe]

Up until the last few years I have always kept my two horses on the family farm. When I moved a found a very nice local farm with a small ammount of liverys all which were very nice and I get on with really well. The owners of the farm have a daughter who has ridden all her life but has no people skills and is very aggresive towards us unless she wants something from you. She has a bad habit of coming up when you least expect it and having a go. I am quite a softy really and dont get the brunt of it most of the time but this morning copped for it big time she had a right go about someone else and because I dont do having a go at other folk it seemed to get her even more angery and I am afraid to say reduced me to tears. I now feel very down about it and to be honest her attitude is spoiling what would otherwise be a nice place to be. My crime by the way was just to say I would rather not talk about someone when they were not there to defend them selves which is all I said. I am of the older generation and going through a 40 something which at the moment means I can cry for England at the drop of a hat, I dont know how to deal with this because she will seek you out if she has something to say so trying to avoid her is quite hard, any tips from you experiance been on livery yards all your life type gang.

 

[AmyMay]

What a b*tch to make you feel like that. Can you speak to the YO's about her behaviour, or is that something you would rather not do??

 

[welshcobabe]

To be honest Amymay I am not one to cause a fuss I just like to be left to get on with my horses and do my own thing. I hear the other folk gossip but dont take part as I dont want to be drawn in to anything. I dont think having a word with her family would help as even thoe they know her short comings well blood is thicker and all that if you know what I mean.

 

[tigers_eye]

Maybe your reaction will shock her into looking at her behaviour, or hopefully at least finding ears more sympathetic to her grievances? Can't be much fun trying to have a bitch about someone and your sounding board just bursting into tears. I think you may have done the best thing possible!

 

[AmyMay]

Fair enough. Very unpleasant situation though to be in. How old is she??

 

[welshcobabe]

May be you are right but I am mortified that I was reduced to tears, and let her see it. Her ranting had gone on for quite a while before my tears arrived I just did not want to listen to her calling the other liveries a set of useless bags etc so just told her I would rather not discuss it with her and tried to get on with my jobs in a dignified manner but ending up looking like a right cry baby. The tears by the way didnt effect her she just kept on ranting on until I in the end I just left. I have now had several coffees and a couple of drops of bach remedy and can now think of all manner of witty remarks !

 

[welshcobabe]

She is 38

 

[AmyMay]

Ahh - not a child then (at least supposidly not!!).

 

[_April_]

38?!

Oh dear I hope she is suitably embarrassed.

 

[pottamus]

I am sorry you had to go through that and can understand where you are coming from as I work with someone similar! I would not be worried that she reduced you to tears...after all, who cares what she thinks of you! She is not worth the time of day and will end up very lonely and miserable behaving like that in life.
If I were you I would add a nice bar of choccy to that coffee...if you like that sort of thing and try to forget about it. Perhaps go down later when the c*w is not there and have a cuddle with your horse...that's what I do when the c*w I work with gets to me...I come straight over to my horse and he puts the world right for me just by being him!!!
I would guess that she will leave you alone because you did not give her the response she wanted and that will be boring for her.

 

[sammys ma]

Aww...(((HUGS))))

She sounds like an awful. spiteful nasty piece of work, and should know better at her age!

However, you did the right thing.....there is nothing more infuriating to someone who is trying to antagonise you and create a situation, than not rising to it or getting involved!


I know how easy it is to let such things get to you and upset you...especially if you are already feeling a tad "emotional"...but really just try and think that you are a much better person than she is...and that anything she says to you should be water off a ducks back , as it is petty and pathetic!

xxx

 

[spike123]

what happened to you is exactly what gave me the want to leave a previous yard I was at.Only it was the YO that was the one who ranted and raved at everybody when she was feeling crap and talked about everyone behind their backs.One day she came down her garden ranting and raving like a mad cow and I happened to be the one nearby to her at the time as the stable block was at the bottom of the garden.I listened to her rant and rave til she stopped shouting and then turned around to her( feeling much like you did) and said fine and just walked away.The next day I saw her I totally ignored her and her family and again the next.The third day she came and found me and apologised to me saying she had had a really bad day and that she was out of order.I did accept her apology and after that we did seem to get on somewhat better until I was there when she ranted and raved about one of their old horses scouring and being ill because of a girls youngster.The girls youngster had come from a local dealer who lets his horses live as a wild herd until they are sold on and because of this the YO decided the old horses illness had to be connected even though the horses were kept several fields apart from each other.The girls best friend happened to be one of the ones in the building at the time and went back and told her what the YO had said.When the girl then went and confronted the YO about it she totally denied it.That was the final straw for me and I made my decision there and then that I had to get off there asap.Once I gave my notice in the YO made my life hell and I was so relieved to get off there a whole week earlier than originally planned.

 

[goeslikestink]

oi-- remeber those that live in the gutter always come up a rat

iam 50, so matey my mum brought me up good and clean with high standards morals and values--as i teach me kids the same i also teach my lessons those same values as i have 6yrs to --

my point --just beacuse you cried theres no shame on you,
turn it around my firend and laugh eveytime you see her
my mum taugh me that she was a wise woman she dead now but she still wise-- why--

first you must think of where pooh goes ie look at her and think pooh then turn and look at the dump -- thats where she belongs when you do this and trian yourself to do it - everytime you see her you think pooh as sh--t--- nd beleive me you will laugh--- she the unsepecting idiot want have a glue what you laughing at--

in turn this will make her think and one -- her a ggresion will change as she will wonder why you smiling --

2 -- she will ask you eventually -- then my freind you have the upper hand--- and a big one that is one of respect ---ok dokey
when she ask dont tell her use it --she submitted get it ...

 

[goeslikestink]

ps -- my mum tuaght me you cant win fights by fists you win them with your brians--- no needd to go to yo -- use your wit

look they say -- sycasium is the loewst form of wit
( most agressive people are sycastic and jealous runs high what would be a pea they turn it into a snowball)

but guess what constiaptions is the hardest form of --s---t

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

This will always go on. There are some wonderful people in the horse world but there are some real strange ones aswell.

Some people like to flex their muscles and make life difficult for people. They think that because they have a yard that they can treat the people on that yard however they want & that the clients will take it as moving is not always an option for some.

I've been on a yard where the YO & her family were really strange, one day you would go & they were friendly & chatty, the next day they looked right through you. They were also heavilly into slagging people on the yard off. If they will say bad things about people to you believe me they will do the same thing to you with other people.

In the end we moved & it was the best thing we ever did, We are now on a friendly yard, loads of facilities, friendly YO...why did we wait so long to move. The grass really can be greener on the other side of the fence. Don't think you have to stay & take it!

 

[Tharg]

38!!!, I thought she would have been about 15