Aggressive neighbour - any advice?

fiveleafclover21

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Hi all, I don't usually post here but I am feeling really worried about this and hoping someone can offer some advice.

I run a small yard where our main focus is rehabilitation and schooling livery. I bought the yard last year, it was part of a bigger property at the time so we share a couple of boundaries with a neighbour. She was very friendly when we moved in, and often came to the yard for a cup of tea and look round, and everything seemed fine. She would sometimes turn up unannounced but as she lives so close we couldn't really stop her.

However, a few months ago she suffered a marriage breakdown, and since then her mental health seems to have really deteriorated, and her behaviour has become quite worrying. She started coming onto the yard at all hours and we'd often find things in the morning that had been moved from where we left them at evening stables. She started shouting at the staff who come in to do the morning shift (around 7am) that they were making too much noise, so I did ask them to make extra sure they were quiet and had no music on etc. Her house is about 500m from the stables so not too close for normal yard noise. She even sent some complaints to the council about noise, who did come to visit us but advised that we were doing nothing wrong.

In the end we found her on the yard very late at night with some scary-looking camera equipment, and so we confronted her. She was very aggressive and we just asked her to leave as we we so scared for ourselves and the horses. Although she's quite elderly she is quite a large woman and so can be physically very intimidating at times. Since then things have gone from bad to worse and she's making our lives unbearable. Recently, we were trying to install a fence in one of our paddocks and she actually came and sat under the machinery to try to stop us! She became so aggressive this time that we had to call the police as she was threatening us. They were very sympathetic and did remove her back to her own property on this occasion but they can't be there all the time and we really don't want to waste their time at the moment. She's repeatedly tried to block the machinery (we're having some yard work done) and has even tried to climb into the cab with some of the work men to stop them! We thought perhaps she was just lonely but they are now feeling really threatened and don't want to come onto the yard anymore. I've invested my life savings into this yard so really can't afford any delays.

We have set up some CCTV on our shared gateway, and there are a lot of comings and goings to her house late at night, so on top of everything else we are worried about the risk of Covid as she keeps coming onto our property uninvited.

We've put up with all of this, but today she parked her car next to our arena (it's close to the land boundary) and started beeping her horn and shouting at the girls while they were riding. As you can imagine this caused absolute chaos in the arena and now the girls don't feel safe riding when she is about (which is most of the time as she is unemployed).

Sorry it's so long! Does anyone have any advice about what we could do? We'd like to make the yard more secure but it's a big area to cover and most of the boundary is just normal post and rail, so it's going to be impossible to block her access completely. I don't want to get her into trouble as she genuinely just seems really unbalanced at the moment. She doesn't have any family so we haven't been able to check with anyone if she needs help. I'm hoping someone may have experienced something like this before and know who we can turn to?
 

Orangehorse

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Well, she is harassing you. I take it you have a record, date and time and some sort of record.
Some Councils have a mediation service for difficult neighbours, but I think you'll have to contact the Police and get some sort of legal stop put on her activities.
If she is elderly you could try Age UK to give you some advice. You say you don't want to get her into trouble, well I can't see that the Police will take her away and put her in gaol, but you need to be able to go about your lawful business unmolessed, and it sounds as though it has gone to far to be ignored. You also have a responsibility to your staff, customers and any workmen on the place.
 

HobleytheTB

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I think you need to speak to the police again really, it sounds as though the marriage breakdown has set off some kind of mental health crisis? Can you contact her ex at all? If it's an ongoing MH issue then they might be able to point you in the direction of her support system.

Record every incident, with dates times etc and keep the police updated. I know you don't want her to get into trouble, but if she's entering your property and tampering with things, as well as interfering with machinery she's putting herself at risk, as well as you/ staff/ workmen/ horses etc. If its a MH crisis she needs help, hopefully the police can get this sorted before someone gets hurt.
 

Polos Mum

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I would speak to the police again, you don't need 999 but 101 and explain the situation. You need a formal record of what is going on - even if you think you are pain, you can't do anything until you have evidence.

A not dissimilar situation happened to a friend of mine, just in her home but a neighbour filming her, coming out and shouting at the post man delivering to her address, constantly aggressive. He turned out to be quite ill and it escalated when the fire brigade turned up with a special letter box cover for her house as he threatened to burn it down!
Eventually the police had enough evidence to take the next steps and he was given the specialist care he needed.
 

tda

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Yes definitely start a lot, ask local authority about ASBO and police about restraining order.
Did her and her husband used to own the land/property you now inhabit, no excuse but might explain the aggro?
 
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Hi all, I don't usually post here but I am feeling really worried about this and hoping someone can offer some advice.

I run a small yard where our main focus is rehabilitation and schooling livery. I bought the yard last year, it was part of a bigger property at the time so we share a couple of boundaries with a neighbour. She was very friendly when we moved in, and often came to the yard for a cup of tea and look round, and everything seemed fine. She would sometimes turn up unannounced but as she lives so close we couldn't really stop her.

However, a few months ago she suffered a marriage breakdown, and since then her mental health seems to have really deteriorated, and her behaviour has become quite worrying. She started coming onto the yard at all hours and we'd often find things in the morning that had been moved from where we left them at evening stables. She started shouting at the staff who come in to do the morning shift (around 7am) that they were making too much noise, so I did ask them to make extra sure they were quiet and had no music on etc. Her house is about 500m from the stables so not too close for normal yard noise. She even sent some complaints to the council about noise, who did come to visit us but advised that we were doing nothing wrong.

In the end we found her on the yard very late at night with some scary-looking camera equipment, and so we confronted her. She was very aggressive and we just asked her to leave as we we so scared for ourselves and the horses. Although she's quite elderly she is quite a large woman and so can be physically very intimidating at times. Since then things have gone from bad to worse and she's making our lives unbearable. Recently, we were trying to install a fence in one of our paddocks and she actually came and sat under the machinery to try to stop us! She became so aggressive this time that we had to call the police as she was threatening us. They were very sympathetic and did remove her back to her own property on this occasion but they can't be there all the time and we really don't want to waste their time at the moment. She's repeatedly tried to block the machinery (we're having some yard work done) and has even tried to climb into the cab with some of the work men to stop them! We thought perhaps she was just lonely but they are now feeling really threatened and don't want to come onto the yard anymore. I've invested my life savings into this yard so really can't afford any delays.

We have set up some CCTV on our shared gateway, and there are a lot of comings and goings to her house late at night, so on top of everything else we are worried about the risk of Covid as she keeps coming onto our property uninvited.

We've put up with all of this, but today she parked her car next to our arena (it's close to the land boundary) and started beeping her horn and shouting at the girls while they were riding. As you can imagine this caused absolute chaos in the arena and now the girls don't feel safe riding when she is about (which is most of the time as she is unemployed).

Sorry it's so long! Does anyone have any advice about what we could do? We'd like to make the yard more secure but it's a big area to cover and most of the boundary is just normal post and rail, so it's going to be impossible to block her access completely. I don't want to get her into trouble as she genuinely just seems really unbalanced at the moment. She doesn't have any family so we haven't been able to check with anyone if she needs help. I'm hoping someone may have experienced something like this before and know who we can turn to?
I feel your pain! We have trouble currently with a neighbour (also large and elderly ?) she is absolutely psychotic! There has been a lot that has happened but her most recent thing has been to do 'drive bys' of our property,photographing everything,but particularly my horses. I have had to move them as I am so afraid she is going to do something to them ? I wish you all the luck in the world to sort this out,it is such a terrible drain physically and mentally to live with something like this!
 

Pearlsasinger

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If her behaviour is dangerous, which some elements of it sound to be, the police are the best people to get her the help that she needs. Take the advice above about logging every small incident and ring for police help when she is doing something dangerous. By all means express your concern for her MH when you contact the police. I agree that you have been far too nice up to now, start being firm with her.
 

Baywonder

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I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. :(

It certainly sounds like there is a mental health issue or breakdown driving this behaviour. It is starting to get dangerous for everyone concerned and it needs to be stopped.

Log absolutely every incident - no matter how trivial it seems. Date, time, what happened, what she did etc, etc.

I agree you should contact the police again, report everything that has happened since their last visit, and ask their advice with regards to moving forward and resolving the problem once and for all.
 

Identityincrisis

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Having been in a similar situation with a neighbour for 8 years, in hindsight I'd bring in an undesirable, not the pc thing to say but i had to move my elderly mother out of her house because of the verbal and physical abuse. Police were neither use nor ornament, despite multiple neighbour complaints spanning 15 years. This neighbour was utter scum though and that was the only thing she would have understood, intimidation by someone bigger than her. In tge end we sold the property for much less than market value as her reputation proceeded her
 

Dreamer2020

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Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear about the awful situation you find yourself in. It must be really upsetting as well as worrying. I echo what others have said about logging every incident to ensure you have evidence of her behaviour. I'd probably be taking time stamped photographs too. The police do have powers under Section 136 of the Mental Health Act to remove someone to a place of safety (usually hospital or police station pending mental health assessment) if they are concerned for their mental health. So don't be afraid to call them when she is behaving like this. They might get fed up but at least you know they do have powers to remove her for assessment. If she is unwell, she could be sectioned under the Mental Health Act for 28 days for assessment xx
 

Mrs. Jingle

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I agree with Amymay - report every single incident immediately by phone to the police. They probably will get very fed up with hearing from you but that is not important, it would help encourage them to be a bit more proactive in an unpleasant situation that could rapidly escalate into and extremely dangerous one for all concerned.

I wonder if this is why the marriage breakdown, that her mental health had and is deteriorating rapidly and he had enough of it! Maybe he supervised her meds, so maybe now she doesn't bother taking them, all sorts of possibilities but at the end of the day that's not for you to worry about and ruin your livelihood over.
 

fiveleafclover21

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Thank you so much everyone, I do feel so much better knowing I'm not over-reacting. I have hesitated in getting anyone involved as I just feel sorry for her, but you're right she is getting dangerous.
We do have some video footage which the police have seen, they pretty much said that beyond telling her not to come onto our property there is little we can do. We have tried putting up some higher fences but she pushes them over during the night.

I wouldn't like to speculate about the husband/meds - we met him and he seemed ok, but he disappeared suddenly with the children and hasn't been seen since so there must have been something pretty dire going on.
 

Lucasmarkas

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Iv also had a similar situation with a nuisance neighbour or tho mind was about 4foot8 and similar characteristics to an angry chihuahua but I feel your pain hope you get it sorted
 
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Neighbour 'stuff' can be horrendous, she sounds very unhappy herself. Try to count yourself lucky you are not so vindsictive, it must be awful inside her head. #bekind has totally gone out of the window tonight on here
 

Pearlsasinger

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Neighbour 'stuff' can be horrendous, she sounds very unhappy herself. Try to count yourself lucky you are not so vindsictive, it must be awful inside her head. #bekind has totally gone out of the window tonight on here


The kindest thing to do when someone is the state this woman is in is to get them help. The quickest way to do that is to involve the police.
 
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