AIBU?

ApolloStorm

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To give a bit of a background, I have two horsey “best friends”( I loathe the term but best description). We all have our horses on the same block on livery, share a tack room, generally help each other out.

Recently I’ve been finding myself playing “piggy in the middle” between them. They have been having petty fights over stupid things. I essentially feel like a parent at times, with them both complaining about each other to me, cleaning up the yard and tack room after them, mediating between them.
Friend A is an equine professional, and has done her best to help Friend Bs pony. But B has a tendency to not listen to advice unless it suits them. B lacks a lot of confidence, and focuses on the smallest things when they go wrong. I’ve tried helping them with some confidence building but it’s falling on deaf ears.
Friend A is currently not really riding her horses, through winter blues, but will occasionally join in for a short hack. And B has been complaining about this, saying that it’s not fair on the horses.

I’m working really hard on my horse getting him fit and going, B has already said that she gets jealous of the progress we have made. Which makes me feel awful! But I’m a fairly confident rider and am on an athletic clever horse who picks things up very quickly.

Recently B and I said we would go to some local unaff competition together, which as my boys first outing is a big milestone. However B is already flip flopping with their confidence.
I feel like if this is how it is over a small show then I am going to struggle to have any company to anything else! Since nothing I say seems to help. I also have found recently that B is hanging on my every move with the horses, it’s like having a doppelgänger in horse form! I am feeling quite frustrated and smothered with all this. I just want to be able to enjoy my horse and my friends! I’ve been struggling personally with mental health, and I know A has been too as we have discussed it. And I suspect all of this isn’t helping
 

DabDab

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No you are not being unreasonable, but it sounds like one of those awkward sets of dynamics that just happens sometimes. You know them best any will know whether having a frank conversation with one, the other, both will make a difference.

One thing I would say though is do not go competing on a green horse with someone who is likely to be an emotional sinkhole. It is the last thing you need. With a green horse you need to be free to focus on whatever you and horse need, not be worrying about accomodating an emotional friend
 

redredruby

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One thing I would say though is do not go competing on a green horse with someone who is likely to be an emotional sinkhole. It is the last thing you need. With a green horse you need to be free to focus on whatever you and horse need, not be worrying about accomodating an emotional friend

Completely agree with this - you need your horses first outing to be a positive experience and that is less likely if you are being used as emotional support rather than focusing on your horses needs.

Would also say that the issue seems to less with A and more with B. You need to establish very clear boundaries with B - you are not her life coach!
 
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