Always be kind.....

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Biglets Mummy

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Hi All,
Just wanted to share this little story with you amidst a world of such horrid unpleasantness.

My friend has just rung me a little bit emotional....She is on quite a big livery yard over the other side of the country. I know the yard well and its always been a happy nice place that seemed to attract nice people.
Anyway a lady joined them at Christmas - shes in her 40s -2 ex racehorses and newly divorced and has moved back to the area to be near her aging parents.
Friend has mentioned her before and has said what a lovely kind person she is. Always has a smile and would give you the shirt of her back but is quite shy and quiet. Wonderful compassionate rider and adores her 2 horses.
Apparently about 3 months ago the lady in question was turning up at the yard looking a little dishevelled and had clearly been crying. She was racing to get the horses done in time to get to work on time and looked like she needed a good night sleep.
She had stopped riding and just seemed very flat to everyone and some voiced concerned for her as she didn't smile anymore.
My friend asked her a while back if she was OK and she said she had taken a promotion as she needed the money but she was under performing and was struggling.But friend said she smiled and said " don't you worry about me I'm fine " and made a few jokes.
Cut to this morning and lady arrived on yard in her work clothes,looked dreadful and ran to get her 2 out into the field. She then raced off leaving her stables and said that she would text YM to say they would be done after work. Apparently this is totally out of character for her as she is normally meticulous.
So my lovely friend and another livery mucked her stables out properly as they looked a bit grubby,poo picked her paddocks,cleaned her tack and tidied her rugs and belongings. Spemt all morning on it and then they texted her to say " Dont come up after work - go home - have a hot bath and a glass of wine and get a good nights sleep." They have bought her boys in for her as well.
Friend said she was really really upset not to get a text back thanking them but when they went back up to bring everyone in she was sitting in her car very upset.
She gave my friend the biggest hug and then started to sob. It turns out she is being horrendously bullied at work,has money worries,goes home to an empty house every night with no one to talk to as she has left all her friends and quote" I dont want to worry anyone with my problems" and her ex husband has just announced his new ( and younger ) partner is expecting a baby and she cant have children which is why he dumped her. She has cronic sleeping problems and finally gets off at 6 in teh morning which is why she is late to teh yard as she struggles to get up...she was sobbing apparently.
Told my friend that she had come to the decision that it wasn't worth going on and wanted to end it all as she feels such a failure with it all.Then said that this one act of kindness by helping her out so much and the knowing that someone was thinking of her made her realise that its not all bad and that this kindness had helped her to decide to try to move forward with her life. I think she has made 2 nice friends as well
Just goes to show doesnt it...you never know what people are going through behind closed doors and that one cross word or a random act of kindness can be the factor that changes everything either way.
So I am going to be kinder from now on........
 
Thank you for sharing this. It is so true we don't know what's going on in other people's lives. What lovely friends you have.
 
Actually in tears reading this. What a wonderful friend you have. I hope things for the lady look up she sounds like she doesn't deserve this bad luck.
 
Well done to your friend that sounds like a lovely yard to be on! Poor woman i was in tears reading this too :(. Sounds like she needs good friends like yours to help her through this awful time. A wrong word from someone could have been the final straw for this poor lady; sounded like she was at breaking point :(
 
It sounds like fate brought the right people to her when she needed them most of all. :)

This lady doesn't have to be home alone with no one to talk with or relate to. There are members on here going through some really tough times and so many other members are always there to help. She should come and join us on HHO and chat away to all of us. She sounds like a lovely person that needs some support and I know our community on here would be delighted to welcome a fellow dedicated horse lover. :)
 
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I am also in tears reading this. Your friend very probably has saved a life.
A kind gesture can go a very long way, and just knowing that someone is thinking of you can make all the difference.
 
Camilla's Aunty Em said:
I am also in tears reading this. Your friend very probably has saved a life.
A kind gesture can go a very long way, and just knowing that someone is thinking of you can make all the difference.
Click to expand...

I am fighting the tears..

What a lovely, caring thing to have done for her; I hope the knowledge that 'someone' cares gives her the strength to deal with her other problems. Poor lady, I well understand how she feels.
 
Oh golly that poor lady. I really hope that the kindness that your friend and her fellow livery showed her is just the start of life getting much, much better for her.

A small act of kindness can be such a powerful thing.
 
Thank goodness your friend is a thoughtful lady,sometimes life is very hard and just having someone thinking of you makes you feel better.'Horsey' people are not really known to be very kind so it is up to everyone on this page to try and be kinder.I wish they would put more of an effort in schools and at home to teach children to be kind.Well done your friend and the other livery and I do hope this lady finds some peace in her life.xx
 
always give the benefit of the doubt, you never know what kind of crap someone is going through-your friend sounds lovely and I hope things start looking up for the woman in question.
 
thats so sad but am so pleased people have taken the time to help her. She sounds a lovely lady and hate to think what she must be going through so yes ... always be kind... its made me stop and think today xx
 
Oh, blimey!

What a poor lady, I hope she's able to get the help she needs & can move forwards.

What a great friend you have - they should be very proud of themselves for helping.
 
Kindness, it costs nothing but has a great value. We can give it freely and always have more to give but choose to ration it as if it is in short supply, which it is. Life isn't always easy but kindness can make a real difference. Thank you for sharing this, its something I've been thinking about lately, perhaps because I've not always been kind enough!
 
What a great post OP! Really hope the lady comes through her horrible situation and depression with the help of your very kind friends.
I have been in her situation and with the world being so busy and everyone wants to work hard, get home and do it all again sometimes our closest friends can't see there is an underlying issue other than the actual situation your in. It's such a goo thing this lady has your friends at the yard who see her daily and know for a fact she is not okay. I lost everything, including my horse, I really hope this lady gets the support she needs and enjoys her horses again very soon, what a difference that will make to her in more ways than one. Well done OPs friends :) xxx
 
Thank you OP, and thank you to your friends. I have tears right now. Best wishes to you all and hope your lady will continue on the path to happiness now that she's had a leg up from you amazing people.

It is very good advice to say be kind. Sometimes just a passing smile and cheey hello can make a difference.
 
Another one welling up here.

Kindness costs nothing, neither does a smile. But taking time and effort to actually help her out with jobs takes time and inclination, which precious few people are willing to do, especially for somebody they don't know very well. Huge kudos to your lovely friends for this gesture. I hope the lady can begin to feel better now she knows that people are looking out for her x
 
WOW what a friend. Tears in my eyes as I read your post. I do hope the lady is ok now she has a friend in your friend. It must have been so hard for the lady to open up. Amazing what front some people can put on and you have no idea what they are going through behind closed doors. Thank you to your friend for her kindness and support.
 
That's a lovely story.

BUT how sad that it's so unusual as for the post in the first place :(

At my yard this type of thing is common place, we are lucky that we are a close bunch that have all been there for 8 plus years. Yet one new livery joined us a couple of weeks ago and we have made her feel very welcome and part of things.

I do know this is rare particularly on large yards.


Well done for taking the time to write this and remind everyone to be nice to each other
 
You have a wonderful friend.

Hopefully they can now band together and help that lady get through this, she sounds like she needs a good friend.

I do try to be kind - but after reading this, it will be at the forefront of my mind.

I sincerely hope that with the help of your friends this lady will get through it.

*Hugs all around because I am feeling emotional now!!!*
 
Poor, poor lady... What made me feel the most sad about this whole post is the fact that she 'didn't want to worry anyone' with her problems. Having been to hell and back with my own mental health, I know how it feels to genuinely believe you shouldn't talk to anyone about your issues because you are a burden.

How awful it is that she had reached breaking point... But how kind and selfless of your friend and her friend to do that for her. I know when I was at my lowest I would never have reached for help like that due to again feeling a burden but I would have killed to feel kindness like that even if I never felt I deserved it.:rolleyes:

Maybe she should join the forum, as there are always people to chatter to on here, and she needn't feel alone when there's such a (mostly) lovely community on here!!
 
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